Blinded By Love

"You're starting to fall in love with him, aren't you?" Glenn asked.

Traci was surprised that Glenn was on the mark, especially since the two rarely talked about her relationship with Jack.

"Well, I'm not a slut, Glenn. I just can't continue to sleep with someone without developing some feelings. But not to worry, you're my first love, my husband. It's you I'll always come home to," Traci said.

"Wait. You're not a slut, you say? By whose definition? Certainly not mine," Glenn answered.

Traci's jaw dropped in shock. Apparently, Glenn was not nearly as accepting of this arrangement as she thought. Tears crept into the corners of her eyes, but if Glenn noticed, he didn't back off from his statement.

"Awww... Glenn. Was that really necessary?" she sniffled.

He dropped his brow and looked at her skeptically. Did she not just tell him that she was going to be spending Saturday nights at her lover's apartment, returning home on Sundays. If that doesn't scream slut, I don't know what does, Glenn thought.

Glenn didn't get much sleep Saturday night. It was one thing when Traci was fucking another man sometime during the day; it was another when she was leaving Glenn to fuck another man at his apartment and spend the night.

"We're not just fucking all the time, Glenn. Don't be crude," Traci had explained when Glenn asked her why she was packing so many clothes for a one-night stay. "He takes me out to a restaurant, then we go someplace else. Then we go back to his apartment. It's not too dissimilar to what we do on Friday nights."

"And you need to date another man for this?" Glenn whined.

Traci scrunched up her face. She and Glenn had been over this before. Could he really be this dense, she thought to herself.

"He's almost like a second husband at this point," Traci said with an air of condescension in her voice that was not lost on Glenn. "You know you are my love. He's just different... and younger and fun. I don't go 'out with the girls' or hitting bars or anything like that. You know I could be sneaking behind your back and you wouldn't know a thing. You only know because I've told you because I don't want to sneak behind your back.

"Love me enough to give me this little bit of freedom. You know I am yours. Don't I always come back to you?"

Glenn was conflicted. He hated what his wife was doing, but he knew she was right. If she hadn't told him, she could have been doing just about the same thing she was now, all behind his back. Would that have better, he wondered. Maybe it was just about his ego, he thought.

As the months went by, Glenn grew to accept his wife's absence from Saturday noon to Sunday noon, and even started to enjoy Saturday nights out with his friends at a sporting event or a bar. He joined a cigar club, noting to himself that Traci would never let him near her smelling of cigars and whiskey.

Traci's phone rang one Saturday as she was preparing to head over to Jack's. She had just taken off her wedding and engagement rings and replaced them with a diamond-encrusted band Jack had given her as a Christmas gift. It was a switch she had been making for several months. She would switch her rings back when she got home Sunday afternoon. Jack had bought her the band to let her and everyone else know of his "ownership," insisting she no longer wear her wedding set when she came to him on the weekends. She thought the gesture was sweet, and had no problem making the switch every weekend.

Glenn never noticed the ring switch because he always seemed to make himself scarce when it was time for Traci to leave for Jack's. The first few weeks of the arrangement he made sure to be there to kiss her good-bye and tell her he loved her, but after several weeks, he seemed to be too busy to see her off. He would tell her good-bye without stopping whatever he was doing at the moment, sometimes just giving her a wave from a distance. The lack of a send-off spoke volumes to Traci, but she was smart enough not to make waves over the issue.

Interrupted by the phone call, Traci never closed her jewelry box after making the ring switch, and Glenn noticed the open drawer later in the day when he went into the room to change clothes for a night at the cigar bar. When Glenn went to close the drawer, he was not pleased to see his wife's wedding rings. The small gesture caused Glenn to wince in pain. Fastidious by nature, he left the drawer open.

Traci also winced when she noticed the drawer open the next day when she got home from Jack's. Her first hope was that Glenn didn't notice the open drawer, but on second thought, she knew her husband would have seen the drawer and her rings. She decided that she wouldn't bring it up if Glenn didn't mention it. She also knew the odds of that were either slim or none.

"Welcome back, stranger," Glenn said when he first encountered Traci in the kitchen.

Traci knew that Glenn wouldn't ask about her time with Jack. He never asked that question. There would be no niceties coming from a man everyone acknowledged as a true "nice guy."

"How long have you been taking off your wedding rings when you see Jack?" Glenn asked. "Did he give you that ring you wear in place of them?"

"He gave me the ring at Christmas," Traci said quietly. "I'm his wife when I'm with him... the way I'm your wife the rest of the time. I think it's only fair."

"Of course you do," Glenn said just as quietly as Traci talked.

Glenn knew where this was going. He had done a lot of reading about polyamory. He knew he fucked up when he allowed Traci to have her lover. His love only went so far, he noted. He was never going to allow it to get to complete polyamory.

When Jack first got together with Traci, it was just about the sex. In the ensuing year, though, the relationship had gone a lot farther. Along the way, Jack decided he wanted this beautiful woman for his own. As she kept professing her love for her husband, however, Jack knew he would have to proceed slowly and carefully, taking his time to denigrate Glenn and make a case for himself.

Traci was almost submissive to Jack in bed. The younger man was more assertive than her husband, and Traci found she enjoyed the difference. She also enjoyed the fact that Jack was more creative and much more physical. The fact that she could have both men was a dream come true, she thought.

Traci and Glenn were intimate about twice per week. The actual sex was good, both would admit, but for Glenn the emotional connection wasn't quite the same as it was before Traci took her lover. It didn't appear to him that Traci noticed the difference.

A week after Traci and Glenn returned from a week-long Caribbean vacation which included sex every day, Traci told Glenn she and Jack were going on their own week-long respite, at Mackinac Island in Michigan.

"After all, it's only fair, Glenn. We had our time together, now Jack wants his time, too," she explained.

"His time?" Glenn questioned. "His time, as he calls it, is actually my time, my time that you steal and give to him. I know everybody thinks I'm a nice guy, but I think you are mistaking nice for weak. He has gotten enough of your time, by my way of figuring it. You're not going to run off with your second husband and spend an entire week fucking him while I sit at home alone."

Traci wasn't expecting Glenn to put his foot down, and her face dropped in shock. She wasn't asking Glenn for permission; she was telling him a fact. She wasn't going to brook her husband's interference in her affair.

"Jack has been warning me that you'd eventually try to grow some balls and get me back under your thumb. Not going to happen. You don't own me. And if you keep that attitude up, you're going to have to get used to your right hand. I decide who I fuck... and when," Traci lectured.

Glenn had to work hard to keep his face neutral, but he couldn't hide the deep crimson coloring on his face and neck. Traci's lack of respect had reached new heights, Glenn noted to himself. His plan to wait out Traci was certainly not working.

"You are right, Traci. I don't own you. And since I've let you trash our wedding vows, it's obvious you no longer respect me. So you just go on your vacation, and I'll have divorce paperwork ready for you when you get back. Then you can give Jack all your fucks and not have to worry about keeping your cuckold happy."

Glenn turned and walked out of the room. Traci looked after her husband in astonishment. While she knew he was not in total agreement with her having a lover, she always figured his overwhelming love for her gave her the upper hand. Because she could see the hurt she was causing, she knew he still loved her deeply.

Traci's announcement was the final straw for Glenn. He had let his love for his wife blind him to the obvious: her love for Jack was growing while her love, and respect, for him were diminishing. Could she really be that self-absorbed, he wondered.

Jack considered himself an alpha male, while he perceived Glenn to be a weak little man. He continually whispered to Traci that a "real" man wouldn't share his woman. Traci might not have realized it, but after months of Jack's whispering campaign, she had started to believe he was right.

Nothing further was said on the subject. Four days later, Traci walked out the door to meet Jack to head out for their vacation. Her good-bye with Glenn was far from emotional as Glenn didn't even offer his wife a kiss; just said good-bye from across the kitchen and didn't carry her bag to her car. Traci did her best to hide her surprise and disappointment.

Glenn was productive the week Traci was gone, meeting with an attorney and getting the couple's finances separated. She was served divorce papers within two hours of returning to the couple's house. Glenn was not at home when Traci arrived. That should have been her first indication that everything was not good. Despite that, she appeared surprised when the process server showed up on her doorstep, even breaking down in tears when she was handed the ubiquitous manila envelope.

"No, no, no," she whispered to the process server. "What have you done, Glenn?"

At that moment, Glenn was sitting in a comfortable, plush chair at the cigar bar when his phone rang with the first call from Traci. He took a puff of his cigar before hitting the ignore button, then took a sip of his Woodford Reserve bourbon.

By the time Glenn left the bar for home, he had six messages and a dozen texts from Traci on his phone, all of which he had ignored.

"How could you? I thought you loved me!" Traci said when Glenn entered the couple's house.

Glenn looked at Traci with what she thought was a combination of annoyance and sadness.

"Have I ever lied to you, Traci?" Glenn asked "What did I tell you was going to happen if you took a vacation with lover-boy? When did what I say become completely insignificant to you?

"For that matter, when did I become completely insignificant to you?"

Traci looked down at the floor. She visibly gulped before looking up at her husband.

"I love you, hon!" she cried. "I always have, always will. Yes, I have some feelings for Jack, but you're my husband, my first love..."

"I should be your only love, you selfish bitch! We made vows. We made vows..." Glenn said, his voice trailing off.

"Okay, I'll give him up. You win," Traci said.

"No, Traci, I lose. It's too late for us. You've seen to that. You've taken something good and ruined it. It can never be the same," Glenn said.

"I don't accept that, Glenn. We've been together for more than 25 years. Surely we can work on fixing us," she said.

"There is no us. Hasn't been for some time," Glenn said. "I'm not sure when you decided my being a nice guy meant I was a weak dumb-ass, but you overplayed that hand, babe. I can be disrespected by anybody. I don't need that shit from my supposed loving wife."

"What are you going to tell the girls, Glenn?"

"How about if I do something crazy and tell them the truth; you took a lover and fell in love with him."

"You can't tell them that!" Traci yelled "That makes me sound like a..."

She looked up at her husband with a horrified expression. He smirked back at her.

"If the shoe fits, babe. Besides, Julia already knows."

"No-o-o-o! You told her already? She's going to think I'm..."

"Again. If the shoe fits..."

Traci looked stricken.

"She's known from the get-go," Glenn said. "In actuality, she's the reason I've put up with so much of your shit. She asked me to try to keep the family together. I tried for the kids' sake and because I love you. I just can't take any more of this shit. The more I gave, the more you took.

"Whatever gave you the thought in the first place that I'd let you fuck another man with no repercussions?"

"I knew you loved me so much that you'd give this to me," she said. "Perhaps I got a little carried away. I-I guess maybe I am a selfish bitch.

"But I really do love you, Glenn. Don't you love me back?"

"No, Traci, you don't love me nearly as much as you think you do, or else you couldn't have done what you did. The person you love the most is yourself, and me and the kids, and even Jack, are just bit players in your life," Glenn related. "As far as loving you, every day that fades a little more. You don't seem to have a clue how much you've hurt me."

"I'm sorry, Glenn," Traci said quietly.

"For cheating on me, hurting me or ruining our marriage?" Glenn asked.

"For hurting you, Glenn. But I didn't cheat on you, and you were the one who ruined our marriage," she stated boldly.

Glenn looked at his wife incredulously.

"What the fuck do you call having sex with another man if not cheating? How was that not blowing up our marriage?" Glenn questioned.

"You knew what I was doing, so it wasn't cheating, and you let me do it for over a year before you decided to divorce me. You ruined this marriage, not me," she said.

"Aarrgghh! You can't be this stupid," Glenn growled.

The couple's older daughter, Julia, was saddened but not surprised by the news of the divorce. She thanked her father for trying his best to keep the family together. The couple's younger daughter, Katie, who knew nothing of what was happening prior to the announcement, was livid at her mother and didn't hesitate to tell her exactly that after Glenn gave her the news.

"Jeez, Mom. You took a lover because you wanted to experience another man? And you expected Dad to just... do nothing. You're pathetic!"

Traci left the room in tears. She knew she had hurt Glenn tremendously, but Katie didn't seem to even want to try to understand her growing feelings for Jack.

Traci's parents took the news the same way her younger daughter did.

"Damn, Traci, that man loved you beyond belief and gave you just about everything you wanted. He didn't deserve any of the bullshit you gave him," her father said. "I thought we raised you better than that."

"Tell me you didn't know any of this was going on," her father glared at her mother.

"Don't blame her being a slut on me," Traci's mother responded back angrily. "I wouldn't have condoned anything like this."

The pair both looked daggers at their daughter. She dropped her eyes to the floor.

Epilogue:

Christmas at the home of Perry and Julia Lanier was going to be both unique and stressful this year, thought Julia hours before most of her relatives were scheduled to arrive. If everyone honored their commitments, this would be the first time in 10 years Julia's parents would be in the same room together since her younger sister got married. This would also be the first time in 14 years Julia's family would celebrate Christmas together.

Having heard the horror story of his in-laws' split and divorce, Perry was hesitant when Julia suggested hosting her family's Christmas this year.

"As long as no one is hijacked into coming here. I want you to make it clear to everyone who is invited and might show up. And we're not doing any interventions here, either," Perry said.

Julia agreed and the invitations were made, with the list of invitees stated to everyone. Both she and Perry were surprised when both her parents, her grandmother and her sister and her husband all agreed to come.

Glenn got to Perry and Julia's house about noon on Christmas Eve, followed by his other daughter and son-in-law and their two children. Last to show up were Traci, her son, Evan, and her mother. Traci's father had died five years ago.

Julia and Perry had three children of their own, which meant there were six children in attendance at the Laniers' home, ranging in age from 11 to three. Evan was the oldest, and both girls doted on their step-brother, especially after their mother divorced Evan's father when the boy was five.

For his part, Glenn was polite to Evan, but could never warm up to Traci's son with Jack. Although Traci understood Glenn's thinking, she realized that her son would forever be an impediment to her and Glenn having anything more than a distanced relationship. She knew the first of her two ex-husbands hadn't dated much in the years since the divorce, and she always thought she and Glenn had a lot of history which could be built upon.

Traci married her lover a year after her divorce from Glenn became official. While her feelings for Jack had grown throughout their affair, she really couldn't say she loved him with the intensity she loved Glenn. She let lust overcome intelligence when she let Jack talk her into stopping her birth control pills so he could have a child of his own. The move looked even more foolish when she caught Jack cheating on her with a 25-year-old bimbo several years later.

Glenn dated several women through the years but never found anyone he loved nearly as much as he had loved his former wife. He never considered getting back together with his ex after she divorced her second husband, even though both of his daughters asked him to consider that.

"If I really wanted to have a bad taste in my mouth again, I'd just order a pizza with pineapple on it. Much cheaper and way less painful," he pointed out.