All Comments on 'Blizzard Ch. 05'

Good story. Nice buildup? Seems more of a romance category instead of mind control but I’m invested now.

I can definitely see where mind control, or rather influence may be coming in. Nudges rather than control. I like the build up.

Nothing at all interesting has happened, fairly good premise but I’m just bored to death. I can’t believe these stories got an h beside them When there is zero sex and zero anything. Sorry, not trying to be harsh but damn, I keep thinking something sexy will happen but it never does.

Normally I like a bit more action, but you are drawing me in.

Winter?

I'm finding some of the writing slightly hard to parse at times. Like, maybe I'm just dense, but Alex seemed to appear out of nowhere at diner. Gene was out with Sam, then you mention Max throwing the snowball, then suddenly Alex is just being included in a conversation a few paragraphs later.

Most of your writing I really like, it's engaging and concise, but it feels like there's some connective tissue missing sometimes, in terms of figuring out exactly what's physically happening and who's talking to whom, as well as the movement between scenes. Overall really enjoying the story and the interesting premise, but feels like it could use a second edit or something?

Always interesting reading a story set in a familiar place. Unfortunately that greasy pizza joint was replaced by a new on this past year. I actually live three buildings up the street from said pizza joint. And now you've given me a craving for a Darrell's shake at 2AM. FFS

Why is he so against having sex with 3 HOT,WILLING, VIRGIN Co-eds???

Not sure yet how this is mind control. Except he has the patience of a Bur Oak.