Blood & Carrots - Celestial Ep. 10

Welcome back, my lovely reader~

If this is your first visit to the Blood & Carrots series, STOP go read the first one then 'Silverpaw' next, to get the best experience. This is a direct sequel and I STRONGLY recommend reading the first ones so you're not lost. Yes, my writing wasn't as polished back then, but you seriously do yourself a disservice if you move forward without knowing the story of the first two.

Take your time, I'll wait for you to catch up. :3

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And with that out of the way...

Welcome back, my lovely reader! There are some major reveals in this episode, I hope you're ready for it! We just lived through a major event from the past, last episode, right? Well, now it's time to experience another, in a way I bet you never expected!

Oh, I'm really excited for this one, it's gonna be really cool, I promise! Also maybe a little sad, but I won't blather on and accidentally spoil stuff, but I do hope you enjoy it, my lovely reader!

Okay, let's jump right in!

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Episode 10:

Empathy, Love, & Sacrifice

I found myself in the small tribunal room the archangels used for, well, tribunals. That alone made me nervous enough but then Ichiro brought forth a gate that looked like it simply led to an open sky. "This is the only area in the citadel where we can access this gate, try not to let the location concern you."

"You say that sir, but..." I could feel my whole body quivering, you didn't just go meet the Seraph. Most celestial's spent their entire lives not even personally interacting with the commanders, let alone the Seraph.

"I sense your apprehension, Ryder. I'd like to tell you it's all fine, but I really do not know the pretense of your summons," Ichiro sighed the words then gave me a nod as he gestured towards the gate. "Well, no sense dawdling, off you go."

My eyes widened as I turned to look upon him and Toroah who had joined me. "Wait, you're not coming with me?"

Toroah shook his head. "The summons was for you specifically, Ryder."

"R-Right... well, uh... guess I'll be going then. If I don't come back, know I love you, and you know, let the others know I said the same." I rubbed the back of my head, trying to will my feet to move. After a moment I growled at my own hesitation and whirled around, forcing myself to march right through the gate, my nose poked up, looking proud. If I was going to march to my execution I wouldn't grovel like a pup.

The gate closed behind me as I swallowed hard, the sensation was odd. My boots were clearly on something solid but it looked as if I stood in the sky, deep blue and ever-present light all around. There was divine energy everywhere but it wasn't nearly as oppressive as I imagined it would be, more soft and warm.

"Welcome, our son." The voice called out, sounding fatherly or motherly, I couldn't put my finger on it, regardless it was everywhere and nowhere all at once.

I couldn't find a location to turn to face it, so I simply dropped to a knee right there, offering a deep bow of my head. "T-Thank you, your holiness... it's uh... an honor to be in your presence!" I felt my voice shaking as I tried to maintain my composure and speak respectfully.

"Rise."

I swallowed a lump in my throat as I stood. My mind was already racing with all the shortcomings I had committed in my celestial life. I was far from pure and innocent, counting four lovers. I had recently attacked an archangel, sided with an 'Archvampire', and cost the military one of their commanders by proxy, even if it was his own doing, I was the catalyst for it.

"Your mind races with anxiety, let us ease it, my son. You are not here to face judgment or execution."

Relief washed over me and my knees felt weak from the knowledge as I gave a shudder. "O-Oh... thank the gods..." My tail wagged a bit before I shifted back into a proper stance, offering a salute to the unseen entity. "H-How may I serve you then, your holiness?"

"Ryder, we would request you ease your posture, speak to us freely."

I frowned and shifted to rest a hand on my hip. "Your holiness, that is so disrespectful to you..."

"Yet it is our will, speak freely as if you were speaking to Toroah, Rachel, Charlotte, or... Lorelai."

I gave a deep frown, seeing they were well aware of what I had been doing, but I swallowed the lump down and gave a nod. "As you wish."

"Speak openly, how did you feel about our fallen brother, Hagen."

"If you ask do I mourn him, I do not. He was narcissistic to a fault, self-serving, and in my opinion, unworthy of his position. I meant what I said before this all went down. Had Lorelai and her sister not gotten to him first, I had every intention to execute him and would have with no hesitation."

"Thank you for your honest words."

"May I ask a question, your holiness?"

"By all means."

I threw my hands out as I growled, "Why? Why allow someone like that to be in our ranks at all, let alone at one of our highest positions? I know he was an apprentice of the former archangel Raphel, I know he was a capable warrior and leader, but... is ability more important than virtue or honor?"

"Look to your companion Ezekiel for those answers, young fox."

My arms folded and I frowned. "You're saying the war changed him."

"Hagen was always riddled with faults as he was in his mundane life, but yes, that is the implication."

"I suppose I've no room to judge the dead." I sighed then pushed a hand through my hair before calling out, "Why do I have the abilities I have, Seraph? Why do I have the senses I do, why do my healing prayers not hurt Lorelai or Val?"

"My son, like mundane, you are all cut from various patterns of cloth. How you led your life and your final moments can all play an influence in what you can do in this life. Look to your mate as an example. She was not born a seer to prescribe to some fated path, it is simply what she is."

"Couldn't you have just said it was a coincidence?" I frowned as I folded my ears.

"That would be a lie, my child."

"So it is intentional then!?" I barked out, the frustration clearly in my voice now.

"That is also not quite accurate."

"Gods... do you speak in circles to test me, your holiness?" I growled the words now, folding my arms.

"We apologize, it was not our intent. Simply put, your powers are not intentionally within you by any beings choosing but your own, but it has manifested with ramifications."

"I don't understand, there are greater more worthy members of our family who could put it to much better use. I mostly use it for self-serving purposes like finding my loved ones or using it for intimate time with Lorelai."

"Yet the power is yours to do as you will with it. You are not expected to use it in our service specifically, but you have many times used it in the name of righteousness as well, for example saving Lorelai's servants who are now members of their family proper. "

"Jeremy and Jennifer were embraced? Wait, then I just helped create more vampires, are you saying that's not a bad thing?"

"My son, how many evil and corrupt mundane have you happened upon in your time?"

I frowned and shook my head. "Many... why?"

"How many noble vampires and demons have you happened upon?"

"Well... a few, but I've not interacted with many. May I ask the point of this, your holiness?"

"None of them are inherently evil or just. They simply live a life outside the normal of the mundane world, as all of you do."

"I see..." I rubbed my chin as I contemplated the words.

"If you have no other questions, we will move on to the business at hand, young knight."

"I could be here all day with questions, your holiness. However, yes. You've been more than gracious in answering these." I gave another salute as I spoke out dutifully, "How may I serve you?"

"You have so much kindness and love in your heart, my son. You are worthy of so much more and you stand to lead us into a future of peace with our former enemies. Hagen was a necessity but was as you surmised, unworthy of his position."

My mouth hung open at the implications of the words and I barked out sharply, "Stop! Wait!" There was a pregnant pause and I continued, "Rachel and Ezekiel, they are more than worthy if you mean to replace Hagen! They are both more qualified in every way compared to me."

I clenched my fists as I snarled into the air, "Ezekiel may be a bit prejudiced, but he is loyal and a mighty warrior with a good heart that loves easily. Were you to explain to him about the vampires, I know he would listen to you and wipe that prejudice away!"

"Rachel is... gods... Rachel is just perfect, she is so deserving of more, a powerful warrior, and a beautiful soul! Why she would-"

"My son, neither of them are fit candidates to be a Paladin."

I took a step back, my eyes widening, my mouth open, and unable to form any words or thoughts at the statement. After several moments I shook my head to rattle my brain back into motion and barked out, sounding almost furious, "Are you mad?! Paladin's are... They are the pinnacle of our kind. I am so beneath that, calling myself unworthy would be the greatest understatement I could make!"

"Yet it is our will."

"... No. I refuse! I absolutely refuse to take such a position when there are so many others of greater merit for it! Toroah, Charlotte, Samantha, and even Rachel! You can't ignore their abilities and commitment in a matter such as this."

"Why did you not mention your brother Ezekiel just now?"

I clenched my teeth and looked away. I loved my brother, but I couldn't in good faith even remotely consider him for that, not with his current outlook with vampires and demons. "I- I do not-"

"We understand, we can sense your feelings and you are proper in your thoughts of him."

I frowned and just stood there, looking up at the nothingness of the blue all around me, finally the Seraph spoke once more, "If you were to choose one, who would it be?"

"Charlotte."

"Why?"

"She has a soul that is full of kindness and a willingness to relate to all walks of life. She is grounded and down to earth, yet not as aloof as Toroah. Samantha is quick to anger and easily swayed when her emotions are running high. Rachel for as much as I love her is inexperienced as am I. Charlotte is the most worthy."

"My son, do you even know what the most important qualities of a Paladin are?"

I frowned at the words, of course, I did not. The Seraph made them and the last one we had, fell nearly half a millennia ago. I simply shook my head in response to the question.

"Empathy, love, and sacrifice, to name a few. Traits you have in greater magnitude than any of the aforementioned. A Paladin isn't the greatest warrior or the most astute commander, and they are not the most pious of us."

"Then what are they, your holiness?"

"A beacon, a rallying flag. They are there to uplift their allies, to shine light in the darkness, and represent our interests. They- You, are as much a diplomat as you are a leader, Ryder. You would not die for your cause, but you would die for those that would. You would heal friend and foe alike when the battle was won, if you did not prevent it outright with your words, to begin with."

My teeth clenched at the words, I wanted to argue but they were right. I'd die to protect any of my brothers or sisters, I'd give everything to protect all my loved ones. I desperately wanted peace with our people and Lorelai's. "I- but I was so quick to draw my sword against Hagen! My own brother!"

"In defense of your lovers and friends, even then you attempted to simply detain him for a tribunal. You knew you could have struck there and then, finished it, but you still offered him a choice of peace."

"Yes, and it cost my lover one of her oldest friends and nearly plunged us into a new Crusade!" I snarled the words bitterly. "You talk of peace and sacrifice, but you did not have to hold her in your arms while she wept!"

"Empathy, love, and sacrifice."

"There is a difference between my personal sacrifice and that of the ones I love, Seraph!" I shouted the words, glaring upon the sky and feeling tears in my eyes just thinking of the pain she had to endure.

"You are worthy, Ryder. We beg of you, take up this role, you know deep in your heart you are the right choice, and that only you can guide our people to peace with our once foes."

I took a step back staring at nothing, tears rolling down my cheeks, thinking of the loss Lorelai felt, hearing her pained cries when Ras fell. Even feeling pain in my heart for Hagen despite how horrible he was to me.

My teeth clenched as I looked down at my own feet, feeling so very weak and unworthy. I didn't even deserve to be a first, yet here I was. I didn't deserve any of the love I had, yet I had it in spades.

All I could think of were my shortcomings and the pain I had inflicted just by simply existing. The vampires, demons, mages, lycanthropes, and even mundane I had struck down in the name of the gods. Then I thought of the ones I had counseled with, the ones that weren't mad, the ones I sent to Lorelai, or to the nearest circle or pack.

I pushed it all away and opened my eyes, tears still showing on my face as I spoke to the open air. "So be it, if I can spare others from pain and protect all of my loved ones, celestial or otherwise. I accept."

"Thank you, my son."

Pain coursed through my body as I dropped right to my knees, hands clenched in fists as my teeth grit. Tears poured forth from the sheer agony of it all as I yowled out in a scream, my wings bursting forth wide from my back, blood rolling down it as several more inches were added to them. It was too much, it was the greatest pain I'd ever felt in my existence and my body couldn't take it. My vision darkened and I collapsed into unconsciousness.

My consciousness returned to me eventually. My back felt weighed down more so than usual, my larger wings against it. My head rested upon something soft, a lap? I felt warm and full of comfort as if my whole being were just awash with the love of a new mother cradling her child that she had just given birth to.

I winced and started to open my eyes, then felt a hand pushed to them. "Leave them closed, my son, even for a Paladin, our visage would be too much..."

With a nod, I closed my eyes, feeling the sensation leave me as I came down to the floor gently. "You are fine to open them now," The voice called to me and I slowly sat up, giving a wide yawn as I rubbed my head, blinking at the still endlessly blue area.

"How long was I out?" I muttered the words, feeling very well rested as I slowly found my feet.

"Three days."

I barked out in shock, "Three days?!"

"Your body had much to endure and acclimate to, my son. Do not concern yourself, we reached out to Ichiro and relayed to them you were safe and well, so as not to worry your loved ones."

"I am grateful..." I looked back at my wings. Folded, they towered over me and when I spread them, they easily had a few more feet of wingspan to them. I frowned and saw several inches of them dragged along the floor when at rest. "How in the world am I going to move around with these things, can I even get in doorways?"

There was a long pause and I swear I heard amusement in the voice as it spoke, "Focus your senses, you can temporarily retract them at will now, it will require a conscious effort to maintain, but it will suffice for when you need to navigate indoors."

I bit my lower lip and looked back, focusing my mind and willing the wings to grow smaller, sure enough, I felt an odd clenching sensation in my shoulders and back, as if I were using muscles I never had previously. The massive wings contracted in and seemed to 'shrink down' as it were. It wasn't magic, I simply could compress them in to about the size they previously were.

Giving a nod I relaxed and they fluffed right back out to full size, making me growl in annoyance. Rolling my eyes I accepted it was just going to have to be something I'd get used to in time.

"So what happens now?" My hand shifted to my hip and I blinked as I felt cool smooth metal on me. I looked myself over, seeing I was garbed in pure silver armor, it looked like plate and chain, but it felt light as if I were wearing cloth. "Whoa... when did this get here?"

"It is the armor of the Paladin. It will afford you divine protection but will hinder you little. You may summon it at will and dismiss it as such."

"Really?!" I barked out excitedly and focused my mind, sure enough, the whole suit of armor simply popped right out of existence, leaving me fully naked right there in front of the most divine being I'd ever interacted with.

I gave a startled yip and shoved my hands over my crotch, growling as my tail thrashed a few times and I willed the armor back on my form. "Gods! I expected to still have clothes on under it!"

"It is of no concern, my son. We used the clothes you wore to craft it. In the future, any garments you wear will remain beneath, so there is no threat of exposing yourself unexpectedly."

"That is amazing, has my sword changed?" I huffed out curiously and drew my longsword, seeing it was now pure white as if made of ivory, but upon closer inspection, I could see faint streaks of greens and blues coursing through the blade.

"Behold, the sword of the Paladin, forged by our hand, infused with both orichalcum and adamantine. It will never dull or break and the wielder can never suffer a mortal wound while it is within their possession."

"Holy gods above! Wait- never suffer a mortal wound? So how did the last Paladin fall then?" I cocked a brow curiously.

"The body can still be slain, the sword will just begin to heal it and house the soul of the wielder until it can sustain them once more."

"That's incredible, but you didn't answer my question, Seraph. How did the last Paladin fall if this was a factor?"

There was a long silence and I frowned as I realized my question was not going to be answered. I clicked my tongue as I spoke out dryly, "If I am your greatest champion, is it proper form to keep things from me?"

"We apologize, my son.... One must have a soul to return to the body, to begin with."

I felt a deep frown form at the words, looking upon the shimmering ivory blade before putting it away. "You mean to tell me, the last Paladin we had, lost their very soul?"

"Yes..."

"How?! Where did it go, was it taken by force, sold, bargained for? Answer me!" I barked the words, feeling fury fill my heart. The taking of one's soul was one of our greatest crimes and not something that could happen lightly. There was no means to just casually tear someone's soul free from them, they had to agree or bargain with it, and call me crazy, but I didn't see a Paladin doing such a thing.

"We are not aware of the full details, my son."

"You're the fucking Seraph! How can you not be aware of the details!" I snarled the words and stomped my foot hard.

"We are not as omnipresent as you assume us, my child. Even the gods themselves have limits to what they can perceive despite what mundane mortals may think, so why expect us to have all the knowledge?"

I gave a frown at that but nodded. They were right of course, they were the messengers or hands of the gods as it were. We too often assumed the gods 'had a plan' and we just were along for the ride. That was largely not the case though, as had been said several times by the Seraph throughout the generations and relayed to us by the commanders.

"Let me be clear, I expect to have direct communion with you in the future if I am to keep this position," I folded my arms as I growled the words, wagging my tail and then looking down at it as I realized it now had flecks of gold within the black. I sighed and cocked a brow. "Also, you guys are big on presentation aren't you?"