Blood & Fire

And then I felt the sudden urge to pee. Terrified of peeing on the prince and angering him, I struggled harder to make him stop, but instead he renewed his efforts as if sensing I was close to some crescendo and he was driving me to it.

My body trembled and shuddered spasmodically, and I felt a spurt of liquid escape me. I cried, feeling as if I'd experienced a great release, but also so afraid of his anger when he realized I'd peed on him.

I was not prepared for him to rise up and impale me on his cock, pressing it in firmly and quickly into me. I gasped at the unexpected pain, and then, pleasure. My vagina throbbed around him.

I looked up and saw that the prince was staring at me, watching my face as carefully as a hawk might observe a mouse. His face glinted in the pale light, clearly covered by my fluids. I felt shame burn at me again. How could he not be angry that I'd peed? It had been just a little spurt, but still.

He thrust into me rhythmically, almost mechanically. It was as if he was now merely performing a function, whereas when we were undressing, I felt that I might have a true connection with this man. Now, I felt used, and confused. At least, though, I did not feel homicidal. I had that much control, hard won control. He'd pushed all my careful boundaries today and he was still alive. I counted that as my victory.

He took his victory with a groan. I felt new wetness inside me, and he slipped out and laid next to me. If I were a true blood mage like my mother, I could prevent the possibility of conception. But I would as likely kill myself as stop my monthly cycle. So, there was nothing stopping me from conceiving a child this night.

I rubbed my hands over my stomach, wondering. What would it be like to be a mother? Could I be as kind and good as my own mother? Or would I become like my father, controlling and cruel?

I craved comfort from these worries, but there was none to be found in this tent. Part of me wanted to press next to the prince, to cuddle into him. He was strong and warm and, even after what he'd done to me, he felt safe. The first safety I'd felt since my mother had died.

But he didn't invite me to him. So, instead I rolled to my side, turning my back to him. I crunched myself into a fetal ball and pulled a blanket over me. I fought the sadness that threatened to overwhelm me, and eventually, drifted to sleep.

The next morning, I woke when a low voice called to the prince that it was time. I carefully avoided the prince's gaze as I put on my clothes again. My thighs were wet with our fluids, a painful reminder of the night before.

For his part, the prince didn't try to talk to me or offer any comfort. I watched as he carefully folded up the blanket on which we'd had sex, enclosing the stain of my maiden's blood within it. He handed the bundle to one of his men.

"Take this to Captain Nidan, so that he knows the marriage is consummated and cannot be annulled."

The man nodded. He transformed into an eagle, taking the blanket in his talons, and flew away.

It was perfectly logical to send my father proof that the marriage was fully realized to seal their deal. Yet still, I felt sick in my stomach at the realization of how thoroughly I'd been used. Not just for my body, but for my father's assumed good will.

Maybe I should kill this arrogant prince, I thought, anger stirring me.

Prince Carnen didn't even look at me as he finished packing and mounted his horse. I stood and stared, numb and rooted to the spot. The prince glanced behind him and realizing that I wasn't getting on my own horse, the prince walked his mount to me slowly.

"You'll want to get on your horse, or you'll be left behind, m'Lady Elibeta," He said, his voice clipped and hard.

Mute as ever, I nodded and climbed on the carriage horse. I eyed the riderless horse of the eagle shifter and wondered, again, why he had not seen fit to give me a horse with a saddle but was content to let me still ride bareback. Today, the ride was much more painful.

The eagle shifter returned around midday, landing on his empty saddle before shifting back into a man. The horse was not alarmed by this, so I imagined it must happen frequently. Perhaps that was why I was not offered a horse? These must each be well-trained and accustomed to the powers and personalities of their riders. If we ran into trouble, it seemed that they would want to be on the horses they knew.

That evening, as we ate our dinner, an old woman and a young woman walked out of the darkness into the camp.

"Prince Carnen," The old woman curtsied.

"M'Lady," The prince inclined his head politely.

I watched with interest. If worn looking peasants like these had appeared at my father's dinner, he would have cast them out violently before they even had time to greet him. He certainly would not have greeted them politely.

"I've heard you follow the old ways, afore your grandfather's grandfather put his laws on the magic."

"Yes, m'Lady. Does your daughter have the magic?" Prince Carnen asked respectfully.

"My granddaughter you mean?" The old woman laughed, "Aye, she does. Just a prick of it, mind. Just enough to coax a flower to bloom. I've kept her pure, hoping you'd come by this way."

The prince looked at the young woman waiting quietly behind her grandmother, "Is this what you want, m'Lady?" He asked, using the same tone and words as when he asked if I wanted to marry him just two days before.

"Yes, my prince," the woman said, her voice was quiet, but lovely.

Suddenly, another piece of the puzzle that was Prince Carnen clicked into place. My mother had told me about how the royal family used to spread their magic through the country freely. She'd been vague on the details, but I had understood that it had to do with having children who would inherit the magic.

Any children who inherited the elemental magic were invited to join the royal family themselves. In fact, just having the elemental magic was considered the sign of royalty. Some even considered true born heirs without elemental magic bastards, regardless of parentage.

That's where the trouble had come. One first born son had been without magic. His reign had been plagued by rumor and rebellions and conspiracy. He'd handled it well and nobly. But his son, King Grendor, had been spiteful of the stain on his heritage, not least of which was the speculation that he, himself, was a bastard as he'd managed to inherit the elemental magic that had bypassed his father.

Grendor had instituted a slew of new laws of royal inheritance. From that point on, royalty was determined via direct blood relation only, and adultery was made punishable by death. I shivered as I understood why Prince Carnen had never married. He couldn't carry on with the old ways if he married. His father would have put him to death.

Pain spread through me as I realized that the prince, my so-called husband, would be inseminating this woman. My eyes blurred as water gathered in them. I did not move as the truth washed over me. I ignored the looks of the prince's men as they glanced between me and him.

I wondered if he would even look at me, as he had avoided me all day. But he did, he glanced at me. Deliberately, I nodded, giving him my permission. Permission he certainly didn't need. But, I supposed, at least he cared enough for my honor to let me have the illusion of that respect.

He was still looking at me when I turned and walked away. At least, I didn't have to listen to it, I thought. I walked to where the horses were tied and leaned into my carriage horse. I didn't deserve to feel jealous over the prince. I'd just met him two days ago, after all. And he'd married me only because my father had lied.

Yet, he was the first person to touch me in six years. He was the one who'd freed me from my father. This emotion might hurt, but there was no chance of suddenly being choked or cut or gouged with my own clothing if I so much as made the wrong expression.

And his was a noble cause. I had seen, everyone had seen, how the land had died, and the country suffered at the gradual decline of magic. I should be happy that the prince cared enough to do his part to correct this generations old mistake.

If I were a queen of that past generation, I wouldn't even have the right to expect fidelity, I realized. I would have known that would never be an option. It was just unexpected, that was all. And really, what did it matter? More than likely we were both going to die before any baby conceived this night, or the last, could be born.

I felt the horse's warm skin and soft hair under my cheek. I was shocked to feel a wet line form on my exposed cheek. I never cried, not since my mother died. I smiled a bit as I thought, next he'll have me talking.

The moon was high when I finally walked back to the camp. There was no sign of the two woman and no noises from the tent. I avoided the eyes of the man who was standing guard as I quietly crept into the tent.

I tip toed, crouching, careful to avoid the softly snoring prince. I didn't bother to undress, but just curled into a ball, and eventually fell asleep.

The next morning, I was tired, and my chest was sore from sleeping in my corset. Yet, I quietly got ready and mounted my horse. I felt dirty and tired and sad. I avoided looking at anyone, just watching the horses and following when they moved.

The whole group seemed subdued and quiet as we rode. Where the first two days, the group had been loud with banter, today no one spoke. I couldn't imagine they were quiet for me, so I wondered if something else had occurred to create this tension after I'd left the camp. Everyone seemed on edge.

It was mid-afternoon when it happened. We had reached a gorge and the men were crossing single file on a rickety old bridge. I had fallen quite far behind, so I saw it when the archer stepped out into the path as the last of the prince's men began making his way across the bridge.

A great torrent of wind blew up from nothing and broke the bridge. Three horses and their riders tumbled into the canyon. I breathed out a sigh of relief as I saw an eagle fly up immediately and soon after him, a man who must have been telekinetic. Both tried to get close to the archer, but they were buffeted away by the wind. The four men who had managed to cross safely were battling against the wind as well.

One had transformed into a bear, one appeared to be trying to build a bridge of rock, and one appeared to be doing nothing but watching everything intently. The prince was summoning fire, his bursts of flame periodically blazing halfway across the gap. But the wind thwarted all of them.

I gasped as the archer shot an arrow into the air and directed it unerringly at the floating telekinetic. The man just barely managed to halt the arrow as its tip dug into his neck.

He's going to kill all of them. I realized.

But I could stop it. The archer, who must also be the air mage, hadn't seen me. His back was towards me, and all his wind was concentrated in front of him. I took a deep breath and jumped off my horse. I tore off my gloves as I ran towards the archer.

I pulled the magic into me. Just before I reached the wind mage, I caught sight of the seventh man, the third who'd been on the bridge, climbing up the cliff on our side. He moved his head just a tiny fraction, his eyes widening at me. It was enough to warn the archer that there was danger behind him.

He turned and loosed an arrow desperately. Pain bloomed in my side, but he was too late. I clamped a bare hand around his wrist and pushed the magic into him.

The wind shuttered and died as he did, falling lifeless from my grasp. I looked up and met the shocked gaze of Prince Carnen. In the abrupt absence of wind, the efforts of all the men suddenly succeeded. The telekinetic and the eagle rushed towards me. But they could not beat the bolt of fire that raced forward. I had only time to lower my head before the heat slammed into my face. I remembered nothing else.

~~~~~

I was laying on a cot when I woke. Pale fabric rippled above me. I looked around and saw I was in a white pavilion. Examining myself, I found I was clothed in a simple white underdress. My face ached painfully. I raised my hands and felt bandages wrapped around me from my chin to just below my nose.

"Ah, you're awake," a pleasant feminine voice said.

I looked around and finally saw the woman sitting on a small stool behind a trunk that she was using to write on.

"There's no easy way to say this, but you've been burned pretty badly on your lower face. I'm not a flesh healer, just a blood mage. So, I was able to stop the bleeding from your arrow wound - which just grazed your ribs - but I could do nothing for your face. I'm sorry, but I believe you deserve to know the worst straight away. Your bonnet protected your hair, eyes and nose, and your dress protected your throat. But your mouth, cheeks, and chin were unprotected from the blast."

I nodded.

"The prince has sent for a flesh healer, but it will be too late by the time she gets here. The scarring will have already set in place. She may be able to save some mobility of your mouth but be prepared to be drinking your meals from now on. I would warn you that you might not be able to talk, but I hear you don't do that anyway."

I nodded. It seemed fitting, somehow, to not have a mouth. I never used mine.

At that moment, Prince Carnen burst into the tent.

"She's awake?" He asked the woman, then looked at me, "You're awake."

I winced at his appearance, ready to be berated as an abomination. I couldn't regret saving his life. From what I'd seen, he would make a far better king than his brother. And if I could do nothing else, maybe I could do some good for my country.

The prince's expression was not one of anger, though. His face was contorted with worry and, something else. Regret? Pain?

"Aye, she's awake," The woman's tone was dangerously insubordinate.

She seemed to be barely holding in some serious anger at him, and I couldn't fathom why. Why would anyone be mad at Prince Carnen? He obviously cared for his people. He wasn't petty or arrogant. But, I remembered, he had been cruel to me, ignoring me after taking my virginity.

"Leave us," the prince said, using a cold voice of command that I'd not heard from him before.

The woman glared at the back of the prince's head but did as ordered.

The prince kneeled next to me and took my hand in his. I snatched it away from him reflexively, my heart pounding with my old fear of being touched. His face clouded and he gently took my hand again, coaxing it from my body and towards his. He rubbed my hand gently, softly.

"You saved my life, and the lives of my men," he said. "Thank you."

Wide eyed, I nodded. When I'd killed the pirate captain and saved my father from their looting, he'd strangled me in my own clothes until I passed out, then locked me in my small cabin for a month. He had certainly never thanked me. I wasn't expecting this kind of response.

"You did that, even after I'd been cold to you for days. Even after I let you believe that I lay with that young plant mage."

What did he mean, let me believe?

Seeing the question in my eyes, the prince said, "One of my men has the elemental magic. My oldest son, actually. He agreed to serve the young woman in my stead."

My heart constricted with a feeling I couldn't describe. It wasn't happiness, and it wasn't sadness, it was something I hadn't ever felt before.

I nodded, once, slowly, acknowledging that I'd heard his words. The prince lowered his eyes to my hand and took a breath.

"Dare I imagine that you might care, if I took another woman to bed?" He asked softly.

Another slow nod.

"I never planned on getting married, you know. As much as I believe in the old ways, I suspected I would lose the heart for it, if I married. I never imagined that to be put to the test so quickly. You've claimed a bit of me, and it seemed to be enough. Even after two days, I could no longer perform my duty," he said wryly.

He bent his mouth to my forehead and kissed me softly, "And I have repaid you with fire. I am so sorry, m'Lady Elibeta."

I was shocked to see tears drop from the prince's eyes. No one had ever cried for me. I wrinkled my brow and shook my head. I brushed the tears from one cheek with the hand that he had not captured.

His eyes widened with shock at this gesture, and he took a deep shuddering breath, "Dare I imagine that you might forgive me?"

I nodded. It had been an accident. Surely, he couldn't hold himself responsible? But of course, he did. Didn't I still carry the guilt of my mother's death? That had been an accident as surely as this. The difference was, I was still alive to forgive him. I desperately held back the tears that threatened at the memory of my mother. I didn't want my husband to think I was crying for my face. I didn't care about my face.

My husband looked in my eyes for a long while before he spoke again, "I almost imagine that you would have married anyone, done anything, to be away from your father."

I hesitated, not wanting him to believe that he was just anyone to me, but then I nodded. It was the truth. It did not matter if he'd been a monster, I would have given myself over to anyone to be free of my father.

"I almost imagine..." Carnen paused for a long while before continuing, "I almost imagine that your father hoped you would kill me?"

I nodded, slowly. My husband rubbed my hands gently with his, seemingly unafraid that I might kill him at any moment. I supposed he thought himself safe. After all, I'd not killed him yet. It felt strange to be trusted like this.

"Why didn't you?"

It was not a question that could be answered with a nod nor a shake of my head. And even if I had the words, I didn't know if I could explain it. I had held back the magic as much to prove to myself that I could as because I hadn't thought he deserved to die.

I shrugged helplessly. Carnen sighed and closed his eyes. Then he opened them, and his expression turned hard and thoughtful.

"I knew your father was plotting with my brother. I had hoped to draw him out, to discover his plan. It was a shock when all he asked was for me to marry you. None of my men believed the rumors that you could cast death magic. Still, they advised me to refuse your father.

"We all knew he would never help us. We simply wanted to spread disinformation to the enemy. But I saw the quiet fear in your eyes, and I could not leave you with him."

I opened my eyes wide in shock. He had known? He had known all along that my father was his brother's pawn? And he'd married me, not for the political gain, but just to save me. Again, my eyes watered.

"I had not planned to claim your body, or your heart, m'Lady. I felt shame, to have used you so cruelly. I am afraid that shame made me an ass. Yet still, still you saved me. Still, you care for me?" The prince asked softly.

I nodded. I did care for him. He owed me no explanations, and yet here he was talking to me as if my opinion mattered. He was treating me as if I mattered. It was strange to not be invisible.

"I've never met that wind mage assassin, so I have to assume that my brother has been having his own extra-marital breeding program. Or he found some long-lost line. I had thought we were the last two elemental mages. That's part of what drove me to seek out women with magic. But I've been breeding them for twenty years, I think I can retire to a life of monogamy."

My heart filled with that unamenable feeling again. Gratitude? Contentment? I didn't know.

Carnen bent his head low and kissed my forehead softly, "I am so sorry, my wife."

It thrilled me to hear him call me his wife. And suddenly I knew what this strange feeling was that consumed me, it was love. I wished I could kiss him, but my mouth was wrapped in bandages. And, it occurred to me, I wouldn't be able to kiss him when the bandaged were removed either, if what the healer said was true.