Blood from a Turnip: Is Cheat Back?

"No I did not." Anna countered irritably, then after a pause. "But Randy tried to get me to." She let out a breath. "Like that was ever going to happen."

I threw up my hands. "Yeah, having your son seeing his mother cheat on his father by being ass fucked, then getting beat up must really have taken the romance out of the air." I commented sarcastically.

Anna tried to defend herself. "You don't understand. I tried his cell a million times. I was afraid to go out looking for him on the chance I would miss him if he returned. I was on the verge of a breakdown and in the process of calling 911 when Randy stopped me."

Vince leaned back in his chair. "Oh, this should be good. I can't wait to hear what your love muscle said that was more important than finding your injured kid."

Anna had the decency to blush. "Randy said the cops would take my son Carlos away, put him in social services. Arrest me for being a bad mother, endangering a child's welfare. Randy said Carlos just had his ego bruised; we could talk to him after Carlos cooled down."

"There it is." Vince muttered. "Self-preservation, it's all about you. Again you were thinking only about how all this would affect you. Did Randy happen to mention how he would do time in the slammer for assaulting a minor?"

Anna continued as if Vince had not spoken. "Randy claimed we could keep everything under wraps. Randy knew a guy who could get Carlos a used hot rod car, every new driver's dream. Maybe set Carlos up with some babes that owed Randy favors due to some debts."

"So you were gonna bribe Carlos for his silence?" I asked.

"More like Anna was getting payment for services rendered." Lisa commented. "So Anna, is that the price you charge? A used car and some pussy for your son. You have those terms listed on your whore website?"

I was disgusted with the conversation and got up from the table. "Well Anna, tell Randy his vast medical experience needs updating. The damage his beat down put on Carlos was not to the boy's ego, but his arm." I picked up a folder from the counter and threw it on the table. "Your fuck buddy broke your son's arm. It's in a cast. Luckily he is young, and it'll heal quickly, hopefully in time for your next love meet."

Anna ran to the sink, pushing Lisa out of the way, and started vomiting. After retching she rinsed out her mouth by cupping water with her hand. Turning around Anna supported herself before speaking. "I need to get Carlos home."

"Anna that may not be best right now. How about we just let the boy rest." Vince offered.

Anna stood straight up. "I am Carlos's mother! I will decide what is best for him." She seemed to deflate a bit. "Please."

There was silence in the room, with tension so thick you could cut it with a knife.

"I ain't going home with you."

All eyes turned toward the voice. Carlos stood in the kitchen doorway, bed hair sticking up, and his fresh cast still gleaming white.

Anna took a step toward Carlos, opening her arms wide. "Oh my God, Baby. I am so sorry, let me look at.."

Carlos interrupted Anna in a voice cold as ice. "Don't come near me!"

Anna froze. "Oh Carlos, you need to come home now. I'll take care of you."

Carlos raised his cast. "I've had enough of your 'care', thank you very much."

Anna tried again. "Carlos, I just want you to come home so I can make sure you are all right. That's all I want."

I saw Carlos roll his eyes. "Well Mom, I want to strike out the Lord Jesus Christ with bases loaded in the final inning during the seventh game of the World Series. Looks like neither of us is going to get what we want."

Anna looked at the three of us adults in the room for support. I sure as hell was not going to back her up.

Anna turned back toward Carlos and used that authoritative tone of voice every parent knows. "You listen YOUNG MAN, this is not up for debate. You are not staying here, but coming home with me this INSTANT. "

Carlos fished into his pocket with his one good hand and came up with a cell phone. Flipping open his mobile, Carlos displayed the keypad to Anna. "Is that so, MOTHER? How about we call the police and get their opinion?" Anna's eyes widened as Carlos kept talking. "I heard what you said about social services and child endangerment. I may not be staying here, but I am NOT going back to your home. How much you wanna bet if the cops come, you won't be going back to your home either. I also bet you double or nothing my accommodations in some crappy juvie foster house is gonna be better than your jail cell."

Anna slumped into a chair. "Carlos, please.." but Carlos continued as if she had not spoken. "If the cops make me go home, I'll just run away, and keep running away."

My brother Vince came to Anna's rescue. "Look Anna, Carlos, this is a lot to absorb. Carlos you can stay here tonight. Its summer, so it's not like you have any classes. And my son and nephew will love to have a sleep over." He turned toward Carlos's mom Anna. "I'll make sure the boys do not spend all night playing 'Call of Duty 2'and get to bed at a decent hour." Vince helped Anna rise from the chair. "Come on Anna, I will give you a lift back to your house."

++++

Well, Carlos stayed more than a night at our home. A three way debate was raging in our household. Vince was inclined to just call the authorities and be done with it. I wanted to wait until Carlos's dad Wallace, came home, and then call the authorities. This way Carlos would be in his father's care, not some social service bureaucratic maze. Lisa also wanted to await until Wallace's arrived from his voyage. However, Lisa felt we should let their family deal with it. Lisa's time in the slammer made her less inclined to throw another mother to that same fate. In my opinion, Anna deserved a spell in the graybar hotel.

Carlos refused to see or even talk to Anna. She called several time a day, and the first few days showed up at the house, even bringing Carlos's favorite food. This stopped after a short while, as Carlos would flee out the back door at the sight of his mother's car.

Anna eyes were filled with tears as she stood in our kitchen looking out our back porch at Carlos's back retreating into the distance.

"Oh Tommy, can't you go get him?" She put a large foiled wrapped platter on our kitchen counter. "This is his favorite dessert."

I shook my head. "Anna, your son is not a cat who got out of the house that you can lure back from the yard with some catnip. Carlos is an emotionally pissed off teenager, who even with a cast, can run like a god damn deer. Even if I wanted to, which I do not. The only way to catch him and bring him back would be with a tranquilizer gun."

Anna took to calling several times a day, but Carlos refused to take the phone. Lisa handled most of these calls. I had to admire her patience since they always seemed to be the same.

"Anna, no Carlos will not come to the phone, and I cannot make him." Lisa would say with her ear to the phone.

"It is more than 'mistakes were made', Anna. You are going to need to tell your husband Wallace as soon as he returns home. It's not like you went to bed one night a loving wife and woke up in the morning a stupid cheat." Lisa rolled her eyes.

"I don't care what Randy said. I cannot believe you are still talking with that steroid slimeball. It does not matter that you are not screwing him. Cut all contact immediately if you have half a brain. No I don't think much of Randy's suggestion that rocking Wallace's world in bed before you tell him is going to help. Think above the belt buckle Anna."

There was a pause as Lisa screwed her face into a grimace. "There is no way you can keep this from your husband. There are three options available. You tell him, Carlos tells him or I will tell him." Another lengthy pause. "Anna if by some miracle you manage to bribe Carlos to keep quiet, I will tell Wallace anyway. If there was some way I could communicate with an underwater submarine I would do it right now."

Lisa switched the phone to other ear and made a twirling sign with her finger. "Anna, this isn't a secret that you dented the car, or Carlos got a C- in math class you can hide from Wallace. Yes it might end you marriage, but the alternative is living a lie. It is Wallace's choice, and only he can make that call. You made your decision when you were banging Randy, now your husband gets to make his decision."

Lisa made a sign of sticking her finger down her throat like she was going to gag. "OK Anna, I will let Carlos know you called, and you love him. I gotta go. Bye."

Lisa put the phone back on the charger and sat down. "Jesus Christ Tommy, that woman is delusional. She wanted me to do a three way with her and Wallace, like I was some slut for hire. She figured a little sex would make everything alright."

I was amused by this new twist. "What did you tell her Lisa?"

Lisa gave me a look that could freeze ice. "'NO', is a complete sentence."

I put a cup of coffee in front of Lisa. "Anna thinks she can live happily ever after like you?"

Lisa spooned some sugar into her cup. "Of course, because my fairy tale life is based on a true story."

"So Lisa, the family matriarch, what do you think is gonna happen with Carlos's family?"

Lisa looked deep into her coffee for a moment." A writer, Sugna, once wrote that a husband might be hurt by cheating and divorce, but kids are often literally destroyed by it. Even without the divorce, cheating can wipe them out. What kids get from a parent who cheats is a large dose of shame. Shame, because half of them is that parent. Half of them is a traitor. They may believe that the cheater not only did not love their other parent, but also did not really love them."

I sat down across from Lisa. "You think that is true for our broods?"

Lisa looked sad. "I hope not. I was just lucky you and Vince let me be such a constant presence in the kid's lives. I pray I have been able to negate some of the damage I caused."

I waved my hand. "You have more than earned your time. I appreciate your taking care of my boys after my ex-wife Brandy..ah um you know.."

I had seen nor heard from my ex-wife Brandy after she got out of the joint and I refused to give her money. My boys still kept in touch with her via Facebook. But to them Brandy was not a mother, more like an abstract relative. Lisa was their mother figure they turned to; they called her 'Aunt Mom'. Last I heard Brandy was in Vegas working as a waitress and burning through a string of relationships, as well as collecting tattoos and piercings on her body.

Lisa face got an angry look. "That bitch Brandy is the reas..." she stopped and stared down at her hands.

I looked at her.

She took a deep breath. "I was about to say that bitch Brandy is the reason I'm divorced and never know if I'll be sleeping here or in that rented apartment I keep my clothes at. " Lisa sat up straight. "But that is not true and me saying it a million times still will not make my current life anything but what my past choices made it. It was me, not Brandy and nothing but a time machine is going to change that."

I was not sure what to say. "Lisa, at least you have tried to make the best of a bad situation. Brandy bailed on the marriage and her family. That counts for something in my eyes."

"Thanks Tommy, but saying I am better at relationships than Brandy is like saying I am the world's tallest midget."

"Well, it looks like you're gonna get another young cub to play den mother for," I said, motioning toward the video game noise coming from the bedroom where Frankie and our newest addition Carlos was staying.

++++

"Son of a Bitch!"

Vince and I were in the Metro Justice Building when he uttered that phrase.

We were there to support Wallace, who with his son Carlos, had been staying with us the past few months. We were about to enter the room used by the Family court for Wallace's divorce proceedings.

"The Honorable Judge Reynolds" I said, tracing my finger on the nameplate and reading the sign. "I am getting PTSD flashbacks. How is that old prick still alive, let along still in a courtroom?"

Vince shook his head. "Wallace is going to get screwed to the floorboards."

I looked around for Wallace and his 'shark'. "That prick judge Reynolds handled my divorce a long time ago and he was a senile doddering old man then." Vince nodded at the memory as I continued. "Judge Reynolds ignores the state rules and just makes up shit as he goes along. Alimony and child support are supposed to be on after tax income and not exceed 25% even at that. The old bastard chopped it up so I barely had 25% of my money left after taxes with all the payments, alimony and crap."

"Let's not forget Tommy what happened when you tried to challenge his rulings."

It was tough for me not to spit at that particular memory. "Fucking Reynolds threw my ass in the clink. No lawyer, no appeal, no hearings, nothing. Family Court is a civil matter so habeas corpus and due process don't mean shit. The other courts wouldn't even rule on that asshole. I swear Reynolds must have pictures of all of those other judges fucking sheep in church. They let him run Family court like his own private little kingdom."

Vince was also scanning the crowd for Wallace. "The old crockpot is stuck in the 1950's. Never met a female who was not a 'poor woman' or the 'fairer sex' that needed protection as they can do no wrong."

I agreed. "If he starts that spiel about how he is not a divorce judge but a family healer, I think I am going to hurl."

Unfortunately, about an hour later we were seated on a bench in Judge Reynolds' court and I was trying to keep my breakfast from coming up and splattering the couple in front of me. I feared it was a losing battle as we listened to the prick in a robe, who looked as old as Yoda of Star Wars fame, prattle on.

"..now in my court I do not see myself as a mere Judge deciding who gets the silverware and gravy boat. I feel it is my God given mission to keep families together." Judge Reynolds looked at Wallace. "Young man, I have been at this a long time, and you have not really given me sufficient reason to dissolve this marriage. In my experience marriage is like a garden, and you must tend to your wife no matter what her circumstances or wanderings..."

I leaned over and whispered to Vince. "I thought marriage was more like a deck of cards, in the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end you wish you had a club and a spade."

Vince coughed to suppress a laugh as the judge continued his sermon.

"..I see your latest income has not met your earning potential. If you continue with this divorce action you will need to find a way to meet the financial obligations I am going to impose. Otherwise you will enjoy the hospitality of my jail until you find the funds."

We saw Judge Reynolds take off his glasses. "But young man, this is your lucky day and I am feeling generous. I am ordering 6 months of marriage counseling at a minimum of three times a week, with an advisor of your wife's choosing. As head of the household and traditional breadwinner you will be responsible for the costs. That should set you two on the right path."

Wallace's lawyer stood up. "Your Honor, my client appreciates your concern, and taking the time to expand on your wisdom and years of experience in the repair of matrimonial associations. However, he feels it would be a waste of the courts' time to pursue restoration of their relationship. We ask you to rule on the issues before you that both parties have unable to agree on."

Judge Wallace pointed at Anna. "Is that what you want also?"

Anna's' attorney jumped up. "No Your Honor. My client wants her husband back, and feels with time and work they can rekindle the romance and lost trust the..ah, unfortunate misunderstandings may have accidently caused."

The Judge put back on his glasses. "There you have it. I so order. Six months of marriage counseling at a minimum of three times a week with an advisor of the wife's choosing. The husband will be responsible for the costs, and the court advised with weekly reports as to status of said marriage counseling sessions. Any questions?"

Wallace was speaking to his lawyer in a whisper. The attorney shrugged than addressed the Judge. "Your Honor, my client respectively declines to attend or remit payment for any marriage counseling sessions."

Judge Reynolds looked surprised. "Is that so? Well young man you are not he first to challenge my authority, nor will you be the first to rethink your life choices in my jail." He pointed to an elderly Metro Police officer in the corner, then to Wallace. "I find you in contempt of my court, and order you jailed for a period of 48 hours. Officer please take this man to holding."

The Judge held up his gavel. "We will see how your attitude adjusts in 48 hours. If you do not get your mind right, we will try 72 more hours as a county uncomfortable guest."

I cursed, and felt sick to my stomach, it was like a flashback; I had been in Wallace's exact shoes, even in that same chair.

Vince leaned over to me. "Deja Moo." He said in a low voice. "I've seen all this bull before."

But before Judge Reynolds could bang his gavel, a tall well-groomed man that looked like he stepped out of Hollywood central casting stood up from the middle of the sparse audience.

"Your Honor. If I may address the court please."

Judge Reynolds peered out at the man. "I do not appreciate disruptions in my courtroom. This better be good, or you are going to join this young person in a cell."

"Thank you, your Honor. I am the Federal District Attorney responsible for this area and have information that concerns this case."

Reynolds did not look happy. "Fine, approach the bench, but be quick about it. I have a schedule to keep."

The Fed strode swiftly to the front of the room and handed the court bailiff a thick pile of papers. "As you will see your Honor I have a writ from the federal district court that requires that man, " he pointed at Wallace. "be made available on an 'as needed' basis, for a government project of great importance."

Reynolds scanned the papers quickly before casting them aside. "This is my courtroom young man. My word is the law here. I do not see what concern this is of my brethren in the Federal Judiciary."

The Fed paused a moment. "I understand your Honor. But as you can see that writ prevents incarceration, except in cases of criminal conduct. In that case the Federal Government reserves the right to determine the correction facility." He looked over at Wallace, then back to the judge. "This state classifies divorce as a family matter under the jurisdiction of the Civil Court. Clearly spelled out in the writ, is a portion which specifically prevents imprisonment for any Civil Offense."

Judge Reynolds was getting red in the face. "Step lightly Counseler! I am not above having you held in Contempt of Court."

The Fed paused again before speaking. "I am sorry about that, your Honor. I meant no disrespect to you or the court. However, if you take action in violation of that writ in your possession, I am regretfully going to be forced to charge you with a Federal Offense and have you taken into custody."

Reynolds banged down his gavel. "That's it! You have exhausted my patience." He turned to the Metro Courtroom Officer. "Place them both under arrest. I'll be down later to sign the paperwork."

The Fed let out a sigh, and motioned to several burly men in the audience that had windbreakers with 'US MARSHAL' in yellow on their backs. "I am sorry to do this your Honor. Marshalls, please remove the Judge and have him detained."

I saw the stenographer bolt from the room, as the big men filed silently out of the seated rows, moving purposefully toward the raised court dais and the seated Judge Reynolds.