Blood Wrong

It was a busy day at the hardware store. Two trucks to unload and put into storage and half a dozen big orders to be delivered around the county. Tom ate his lunch while driving between deliveries. As he was driving across the bridge on the narrows across Arrowhead Lake, Tom spotted Delbert's Camaro parked near the boat launch. There were a couple of other cars parked there too so Tom knew Delbert wouldn't be alone. The whole bunch were probably drinking or smoking pot. Instead of stopping, Tom just kept driving, unnoticed. He would be back though, now that he knew where Delbert was hanging out.

Back at the hardware store, Tom was finishing up for the day. It was a little after four in the afternoon, all the deliveries had been made and it was time to go home. As he was walking through the store on the way to the back door, Tom paused by a display of electric cattle prods. The nearly three-foot-long fiberglass wands with electrodes on the end were a favored tool with farmers and ranchers needing to move livestock. The prods moved something in Tom's mind, an idea forming, he smiled and continued out the door to his pickup.

That evening when he got home to the farm, he was pleasantly surprised to find Addy sitting on the back porch as he walked up to the house from the barn. She was dressed in a lightweight summer dress that was yellow with white trim at the collar and sleeves. Addy sat barefoot on the steps with her knees tucked under her chin and her arms wrapped around her legs as if hugging herself. She was rocking gently forward and back staring at the ground in front of the steps.

Tom walked up to the steps and turned and sat next to Addy. He wrapped his left arm around her shoulders and she leaned into him. Tom kissed the top of her head and then rested his chin on her hair as she continued to rock. They sat there for a while before Teresa came to the screen door and looked out at them. She cleared her throat to get Tom's attention.

"Supper is on the table if you two want to come in and eat." Teresa said in a soft neutral voice.

"Thanks momma. We'll be right in." Tom responded with a nod.

Tom kissed Addy on top of her head again and went to stand up. Addy leaned away from him and looked up at him with sad eyes... soulfully sorry sad eyes. It hurt Tom to see the pain and sadness in her eyes. The dazzling blue eyes that he fell in love with the day he met her when Teresa and Rich brought her home from the hospital. The eyes that had always been so full of light and wonder... joy and happiness... now to be dimmed with sadness... it just wasn't right. With an extended hand, Tom helped Addy to her feet.

At the table, dinner was a quiet affair this evening. Teresa had prepared meatloaf with mashed potatoes and green beans and there was cornbread of course. Normally Addy would be happily chattering on about this book or that story that she'd been reading. But this evening, her first time sitting down at the table since being attacked, she was subdued. She picked at her food and ate very little. Tom saw all this of course, as did Richard and Teresa. They tried to act normal and make Addy feel at ease but they all sensed it was a lost cause. Eventually all were finished eating and everyone stood up to leave the table. Teresa began cleaning up, Richard said he had to go check something in the barn as he left the kitchen to go out the back door. Tom and Addy went upstairs to their rooms. Tom paused outside of Addy's room and looked down at her to see if she were okay to be alone for a bit.

"I need to go have a shower, and change my clothes. I'll come sit with you a while after I do that, okay?" Tom spoke softly as he stroked the back of Addy's head gently with his left hand.

"Okay... I'll wait up for you." Addy said quietly and nodded. She turned to go into her room.

Tom continued down the hallway to his room where he took off his boots and his clothes except for his boxer shorts. Grabbing a pair of sweatpants and a tee shirt he left his room and went down the hall to the bathroom. Closing the door, he set his clothes on the toilet seat cover, then stripped off his boxers. Stepping into the shower and turning the water on, Tom flashed back to seeing Delbert's car at the boat launch earlier today. Anger rose in Tom's gut and he clenched his fists as the hot water cascaded down over his body.

After finishing his shower, Tom dried off and slipped on his sweat pants and shaved. He slipped on his shirt after drying his face. Leaving the bathroom, he walked down the hall past his room and checked in on Addy. She was curled up on her bed with her back towards the door. Slipping into the room, Tom realized that she was, in fact, sleeping. Tom pulled the throw blanket from the foot of her bed and spread it over. He turned on her bedside lamp and then turned off the overhead light before closing her door softly. Back in his own room, Tom set his alarm for the morning and stretched out on his own bed and stared at the ceiling. His mind a bitter mix of ideas and scenarios of catching up with Delbert Evans. The sick bastard was going to answer for what he did to Addy, Tom would make sure of it. Eventually Tom drifted off to a fitful sleep.

Again, Tom was awakened by his sister slipping onto his bed beside him later that night. She spooned up next to Tom's back, her slender right arm wrapped around his right side, her face nuzzled into the back of his neck. Tom could feel her soft pert breasts pressing into his back and her hips melding with his backside.

"I love you Tommy" Addy whispered into his neck and sighed.

Tom, had heard her say the words many times before, but for some reason they held a special weight tonight. His heart skipped a beat even as it swelled in his chest. Tom rolled over to be face to face with his sister. The light from the mercury lamp outside the barn shown weakly through his bedroom window and reflected in Addy's shining half lidded eyes. Tom brushed some loose hair out of her face with the fingers of his left hand. Addy captured his hand as the fingers went over her ear, and brought it to her lips and kissed the back of it. Her hand clasped in his, Addy pulled it to the hollow of her neck at her chest.

"I love you too Addy." Tom said in a quiet warm voice.

"Do you? Can you?" Addy asked, again in a near whisper, her voice trembling like her bottom lip.

"What? Of course, I do. What kind of question is that?" Tom asked puzzled.

"I... I'm not pure anymore. I'm dirty..." Addy whimpered, her eyes welling up with tears.

Tom's heart wrenched in his chest. He had known Addy her entire life, they had played together, they grew together. He had seen her get hurt many times, scraped knees, cuts, bruises, bumps. She always shook them off and came back for more. She had always been one of the strongest persons he knew, but this... this was something different. Addy was hurt deep, in her mind, and her soul. Could she bounce back from this?

"Addy... You're not dirty. You're still you. That bastard might have hurt you, but he can't make you less of a person. Never!" Tom said reassuringly, squeezing his left hand in hers to emphasize his words.

"He made me dirty... no one will ever love me or want me now." Addy choked on the words as the tears began to flow and her body wracked with quiet sobs.

"No... Someone will want you... and you already know you are loved. I love you." Tom said as he placed his forehead to Addy's and shushed her sobs.

"Do you? Do you really?" Addy asked quietly raising her head up to look Tom in the eyes, searching for... for what? Confirmation? Affirmation?

"Yes. I love you Addy... I love you so much..." He began softly, again to reassure her. Addy startled him into silence however, when she tilted her head up and kissed him softly on the lips.

Tom was stunned. His mind froze, his body froze, his heart... stilled... momentarily. Addy released his lips and drew back hesitantly, fearful of his reaction. The one constant in her life as far back as she could remember was Tom. Her brother, her playmate, her friend... her confidant... the only boy she had ever loved or wanted even if she knew it was wrong. And now... she had kissed him, not like a sister, not on his cheek, but on his lips. Those soft, inviting, full lips... And he froze. She had ruined everything she feared. Addy's heart began beating faster in her chest and she began to turn to bolt from Tom's bed, to run away.

As she began to turn away, the look of abject fear and remorse on her face, Tom squeezed her right hand still clasped in his left. He pulled her back around to face him, his own face wide eyed and confused, his heart, too, racing. Addy hesitantly looked back up into his questioning big brown eyes. They both shuddered and exhaled. Then their lips collided once more. This time Tom's lips were as active as Addy's. The two seemed to melt together as the kiss went on and on. A tender sweet loving kiss but with an underlying sense of hunger and longing as well.

They both had to draw back eventually to breathe. When they did, they both stared into the others eyes. Their hearts were both pounding in their chests. This was so wrong, they both realized, but it felt so very right at the same time. Tom was the first to find his voice.

"Addy... we can't... this is... not right." He said even as the sadness flooded his eyes and the guilt began to grow in the back of his mind.

"I know... But I can't help it Tom... I love you so much. You just make everything feel... right." Addy said in a shaky quiet voice as her bottom lip trembled.

"I feel that way when I'm around you too baby... but we are brother and sister..." Tom tried to explain, or maybe understand himself.

"I don't care! You're the only one I love... you're the only one I'll ever love..." She said quietly, her eyes locked on his, never blinking.

Tom felt his heart swell even more hearing Addy's declaration. He also felt other parts of his body swell as well. He quickly stomped down on that feeling in his mind. Kissing was one thing, anything else would just be... more wrong. His body wasn't listening to his mind however, it was very aware of Addy's body pressed so closely to his own. Her feminine softness, her warm clinging hold on his own body, those big shining blue eyes and those oh so soft lips. Tom could feel his resolve weakening and his body hardening.

"Addy... I do love you... but we can't... I... I..." Tom sputtered and tried to explain, only to be silenced once more by her lips crushing against his urgently, wantonly.

With her right hand, Addy moved Tom's left hand to her breasts, pressing it against her soft mounds. She sighed as Tom's hand reflexively squeezed one gently, the soft nipple hardening against the night shirt material under his palm. Tom felt Addy's other hand running her fingers through the hair on the back of his head.

"Oh God!" Tom thought to himself. "So wrong... so very wrong... but..."

Their tongues darted about teasing one another. Their lips hardly ever breaking contact as they gasped and inhaled in desperate little breaths. Tom jumped when he felt Addy's hand glide softly along his hardening manhood on the outside of his sweat pants. Her tentative grip caused him to break the kiss and reach for her hand.

"No, Addy. We can't. I'm sorry baby, this is just wrong. Please." Tom pleaded, his forehead pressed against hers.

"You... you don't want me? You think I'm dirty... because..." Addy gasped, the pain and hurt evident in her voice.

"No! No, Addy, that's not it at all. You know I love you. I love you more than anything in the world! But you're my sister. This would be so wrong. You're not dirty. Any guy would..." Tom tried to explain, his heart racing, his body reacting in all the wrong ways, only to be cut off again by Addy.

"I don't WANT anyone else. I only want YOU! I love YOU!" She said with solemn determination.

Not knowing what else to say, Tom took Addy's right hand and placed it on his left hip then wrapped his arm around her and pulled her tight to him. Her head nestled in the crook of his neck and shoulder and he could feel warm tears against his skin. Addy sobbed silently as he continued to hold her tightly.

"Shhhhhhh.... It's okay baby... I love you too. I love you so much." Tom murmured into her hair.

They clung to each other until Addy eventually fell asleep. Tom lay there long into the night just holding her tight. His mind a whirlwind of emotions and thoughts. He always knew that Addy loved him, that was never a doubt in his mind. He was startled and amazed to learn that she loved him in ways that he hadn't even dared imagine however. Thoughts that he had tried many times in the past to banish from his mind, because she was his little sister. It was overwhelming, troubling... and ultimately thrilling as well. If only... if only she weren't his sister.

At some point in the wee hours of the morning, Tom, too, fell asleep. Addy was still wrapped in his arms, clinging tightly to him as if her life depended on it. That's how Teresa found them when she slipped softly into Tom's room. She had gone to check on Addy before starting breakfast. When Teresa hadn't found Addy in her room and her own bed, she assumed that she would be with Tom. Teresa wasn't prepared for the way she found Addy and Tom however. Instead of cuddling siblings, a familiar tableau, she found them looking more like lovers. Anyone else might have been surprised or even shocked, Teresa though was not. She smiled softly to herself as she pulled the blanket up around their shoulders and then slipped quietly back out of the room.

The harsh clattering of Tom's alarm clock, roused both himself and Addy. Still clutching one another, there was an awkward moment as both remembered what had transpired just before they fell asleep. Addy looked nervously into Tom's eyes waiting for him say something. Tom, at a loss for words or at least conflicted at what he really wanted to say, only smiled if somewhat sadly at his younger sister. This warm, soft, beautiful young woman sharing his bed. It seemed like hours, but in reality, it was closer to a few seconds before he managed to get any words out.

"Are you okay, Addy?" He asked quietly, his sad eyes full of love and concern.

"I... I think so. Are... are you okay?" Addy asked timidly, fearing that she had somehow alienated her big brother, the man she loved more than life itself.

"I... uh... yeah... We have a lot to think about. I have a lot to think about. But I need to get up and get ready to go to work. It's Saturday, usually one of the busiest days at the store. It might be a long day." Tom stammered, reaching desperately for some kind of normalcy.

"I don't want to be alone today..." Addy said quietly, breaking eye contact and casting her gaze anywhere but towards Tom.

"Mom will be here, and Pa..." Tom began but was cut off by Addy's next question.

"Can I come with you today? Great Grampa wouldn't care, would he?" Addy asked with a pleading gleam in her eyes.

"I don't know Addy... I guess we could call and ask. You could hang out at the store, and maybe ride along on my deliveries. Sure, let's call and find out." Tom said with a smile.

The light in her dazzling blue eyes was worth it. Addy smiled brightly and lunged at him hugging him around the neck and kissing his cheek. There was an awkward moment when she drew back and they both searched each other's eyes briefly as last night's kisses flashed through their memory. Then Addy snapped out of it smiling brightly again and jumped up out of bed.

"I'll go get dressed and tell momma. Hurry up sleepy head!" Addy actually giggled as she bounced out of Tom's room and down the hall to her own room.

Tom put his face in both his hands and rubbed. "She's your sister... she's your sister... she's your sister..." he kept hearing in his head. Exhaling in an exasperated sigh, Tom swung his legs off the side of the bed and stood up. His sweat pants still tented slightly from what he would normally think of as "morning wood" but he somewhat guiltily thought of as something else this morning. He left his room to go down the hall to the bathroom to get his day started.

As Tom came downstairs and entered the kitchen, he was greeted by Richard sitting at the table drinking his coffee. Addy was across the table from her father shoveling in a mouthful of scrambled eggs, a glass of juice in her free hand. Teresa set a plate on the table in front of Tom as he sat down, she glanced at Addy then back to Tom and smiled warmly. She was happy to see life returning to her baby girl.

"I called papaw at the store, he said it'd be alright if I came to work with you today!" Addy beamed after she swallowed her mouthful of food.

"Did he say you had to do half the work?" Tom chided playfully, causing Addy to pause with her glass of juice halfway to her mouth and give him a quizzical look of uncertainty... for a moment, before smiling and rolling her eyes.

"No! But he did say not to be late, there are a lot of deliveries for today. So, eat up and let's go!" Addy said with a smirk and reached for the apple butter to spread on her biscuit.

"Now slow down missy, let the boy eat in peace." Richard said with a low rumbling chuckle. He too was happy to see Addy so animated after what had happened earlier in the week.

Richard stood up from the table and patted Tom on the shoulder as he went around the table to set his coffee cup in the sink. Teresa stood up on her tiptoes to kiss him on his cheek and smiled warmly before turning back to making sandwiches for Tom, and now Addy. No one saw Teresa's face go pale and wince. They didn't hear her drop the butter knife she was using and clutch at her abdomen until the pain subsided. Taking a deep breath, she stood straight again and continued spreading peanut butter on the sandwiches.

"I'll see you two this evening then." Richard said as he put on his hat and went out the back door to head to the barn.

"You about finished squirt?" Tom asked Addy as he tipped up his glass to empty the last of his orange juice.

"Ready when you are." Addy said around a mouthful of biscuit and still managing somehow to smile.

Tom stood and pushed his chair in then walked to the back door to put his jacket on. Addy wiped her mouth and stood as well. She stepped over to the counter to kiss Teresa on the cheek. Teresa handed Addy a brown paper sack with a couple of sandwiches and apples in it.

"Love you mom... see you later." Addy said with a smile as she grabbed a sweatshirt from the coat hook and followed Tom out the door.

Teresa grimaced and bent halfway over holding her abdomen for a moment or two. After a bit, she stood back up and inhaled sharply. She reached into the pocket of her apron and pulled out a small bottle of pills and took one out. She poured a little water out of the tap into a glass and then took the pill. Looking out the window above the sink, Teresa watched Addy follow Tom into the barn to get into his old pickup truck. Addy waved to the house as the truck pulled out and turned to go out the long driveway to the road.

Having Addy with him today was both a delight and troublesome for Tom. On the one hand he was always happy to spend any time with his little sister, she made everything fun or an adventure. On the other hand, after last night's revelations and that kiss... his mind was still in a whirl trying to sort out emotions and practical thoughts. The morning went by quickly, sorting and picking items for deliveries. Soon Tom and Addy were on the road making the first of the day's runs.

By noon they had made three deliveries and were ready for lunch. Tom pulled off the road at an old abandoned farmstead a few miles from Arrowhead Lake. Tom dropped the tailgate and He and Addy sat with their legs dangling as they ate their peanut butter sandwiches. Addy seemed pensive after she had finished her sandwich and was nibbling on the apple Teresa had packed in the lunch. Tom was quiet as well, still thinking about last night.