All Comments on 'Blue Side of Lonesome'

Great story and a great premise. Looking forward to more of the same

An author like this comes along. I read each story. Envy and awestruck are two things that prevail with every read of his work. And he has good tastes in music too.

Every time you do an invitational it brings out the best in those that join. It also brings out some of your best work! You are a gifted writer and this is one of your best. Thanks for doing this.

This is truly a great story and arguably from my point of view one of the best this author has ever done. I really enjoy the beginning where are the husband Jack begins to notice certain subtle changes... the references to a shift in the space time continuum really struck home for me.

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If I may there is one little drawback which bothered me at the end. Some of you may or may not agree.

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Jack runs into his ex-wife at the restaurant or bar... with her new fiancé. Okay so Jack is caught by surprise and a somewhat flummoxed or caught flat-footed. He was surprised ....it happens.

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But in the story he <b>KNOWS</b> he is going to bring Pam Down to that very same restaurant / bar to have dinner so he must anticipate that he could run into Jenny and her new boyfriend again. And that's what bothers me. <b> It seems that the scene where they meet and Jenny says to him in his ear ..."Jack she's so young"... was a hostile act. </B. I certainly would view it that way... yet Jack was again caught unprepared for any sort of response. I think this speaks a lot about his character and he doesn't come across as a particularly sharp guy.

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Either Jack is

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1) not smart enough to figure out that he ey might run Jenny again when he bought Pam into the restaurant OR

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2) he thought about it but all that time he was too stupid to come up with a response... such as " yeah but Jenny she doesnt lie and cheat ...You do"

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The ending here really bothers me but not enough for me to take any points off otherwise is a great story.

Change the Pinto back to a Ford Focus (page 2, David drove to college).<p>

While I see Harry's point, I think the best response would have been to smile and say "We plan to be together a long time". This implies that Jenny is a gold digger as well as being unreliable. It also should bolster Dana.

While the writing was first rate and the story captivating, there was nothing romantic about it. It was just another loving wife story and didn't belong in the romance category. Cheating isn't romantic and being cheated on is even less so. Nice story though.

I enjoy your stories. Partly because you seem to be familiar with many parts of the country I have lived in and mainly because you do write so well. Excellent story

Very well done! Carefully edited. Held my interest all the way. Good depiction of characters. Please continue to raise the standard of the prose in Literotica.

Minor error in part one, para. six.

These stories based on music are fantastic. The folk songs

touch the heartstring and the underlying psyche. We are

all vulnerable to our memories. Great story and beautiful

people..

Superb craft and fine storytelling. Thank you, Jake.

Your story flowed well and was easy to follow. Thanks for taking the time to post.

One of your best Jake.

yes i like these every 6 months. also your writting is wonderful and easy to read.

... but one factual error - yes 160 is a quarter section, but the sides of a square quarter section are 0.5 mile each, not .25 mile; therefore the total distance around is 2.0 miles. Otherwise, well written.

I guess everyone can see why it's your invitational. As usual it was fun. Hope to join you again next next time.

With highest regards

DG Hear

Just a couple of little things. I would have liked to see the issue of age come up a little earlier than when they ran into Jenny, it seems to me that Jack is the sort of guy who would go all noble on Dana on that point for a while.

The second thing is minor- at the conference meet, David runs the 800m in 1.54, and in his own meet Jack runs it in 1.59, but he then says that he was only 3 seconds slower than David ran it at the Conference Meet. Should be 5 seconds.

Very good work though, nicely developed.

4 mi around a section, 1 mile around a quarter sec. good story

Good writing such as this is seen all to infrequently here! Everything in the story rang true! The "good guy" finally gets the right woman and the right woman gets the good guy!

It doesnt get any better than that! Santa

of a great story that does justice to a very good author. We don't really need all this wham-bam stuff to recognize quality in writing. Romance, Loving wives, the category doesn't matter. Congratulations Jake. G.Belgium

for many of the authors on not only how to flesh out a story but to learn and apply grammar and check their spelling far more carefully. I had not read one of yours for awhile and forgot what a good writer you are.

Compelling imagery! An interesting and enjoyable read. Might I suggest your next effort be a "How To" essay for your fellow contributers?

You are an exceptional author. Such a pleasure to read your works.

Thank you.

I would enjoy a new story every 6 months.

for sharing your extraordinary talent. You are a gifted story teller and I look forward to enjoying many more of your submissions.

A very enjoyable read. Even the third time.

I have read another wonderful story and wish you to keeo it up like the other readers! I feel somewhat selfish in this but get tired of all the sex-crazed cheating wives in other stories. Your stories of cheating wives are much more believable and realistic to life. You "ARE" a favorite author now.

Keep on doing your invitational Jake. It seems to inspire some really good tales and yours are some of the best. Thanks for all you do for this site.

The thing that distinguishes your writing is every story has a lot of heart. Yes, there is tention and sorrow, but there is always heart.

It reminds me of this little saying: "To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified."

And "They that sow in tears shall reap in joy," and "weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning."

Enjoyable read, thanks for submitting

Quite romantic. One CAN get over a woman that cheats on you (and then your wife takes you back after you left her for the woman that cheated on you). I know that sounds mixed up but that's the way it happened. Fifty years later I am still grateful.

Bf

I missed when the ex got remarried. I would like you to continue this as often as you can just don't wait to long.

Great writing, enjoyable contribution from a consistent author and always a worthwhile read.

The only piece missing is what did happen to the woman he met and married|?

Clearly she knew he meant it when she asked about reconciliation - but she never seemed to have - even the mildest need to explain or justify the pain she realized she had caused - most people do feel a need to expiate their guilt just a bit at least.

There was never a comment from David about his mom's reasons or life - I know Jack was not interested but a few facts slipped through - weird that the marriage or what happened with bob did not. Oh wait what DID happen with Bob and Martha - did jack fix his little dick's wagon and help Martha to know what she had on her hands?

It seemes there was a lack of energy to the layers - reactions - yes emotions - yes but all very slow and deliberate to the point of plodding??

5/5

Nice story with a positive outcome for the protagonist. I would have liked more of an explanation of what the ex was thinking when the marriage went off the rails.

Walks away from his cheating wife and the guy who was cuckolding him? Just wrong.

Said didn't see Jenny till 4 years later at David's graduation but runs into her in a hotel in Denver before that time.

Said you can get a divorce if you want but no mention of it till he is introduced to her husband. You'd think he would know he was divorced and there be some mention of it in the story.

And for a guy who wanted to know nothing about her affair he spent a long time thinking about it.

really good read keep writing

The way for a good BTB story is for the husband to live well and happily, success. More please.

Wonderful story, on par with everything you write.Too bad Jennny didn't have her faced pushed to the back of her head...

You are such a wonderful writer, wish we had more from you. 5*

Please continue the Invitational.

Good story.

liked this the other times I read it

fairly good explaining that the MC just sort of goes along and doesn't disrupt anyone or thing his whole life until Jenny cheats. Then he takes the "High Road" and walks away with a divorce on his terms. I guess "Parttimereader" and the Anon. just prior to him can't read and comprehend very well.

Excellent read, thanks Jake...!

A very weak ending. Kind of like you ran out of steam at the track meet and just ended the story.