All Comments on 'Bob's Story'

when you insist on using on 750 words, you dont have enough to get cute

Oh come on. I know it's a short story, but just for that setup? As long as you had fun, I guess.

Or could it be John Brown's body is smoldering in his grave!

4

Or could it be John Brown's body is smoldering in his grave!

4

That was pretty good. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

They say it is a capital offense.

Clever

more btb crap.

did you masterbate while writing this?

Baffling!

A nice little Eric Clapton twist.

It is very difficult to get a good BTB in just one 750 word story. Maybe even impossible. You showed some skills in presenting emotions but there just isn't enough meat on the bones.

Liked the snark at the end !

Funny. Sort of.

But there's no pussy on this Earth worth going to prison over. Hope he has a great lawyer, cause cop shooting... those are hard to get off of.

Good story had to read it twice, was getting confused where they were in location of the house. First there was a bed and then they were in the front room? Great ending…..

He's going to be fine. The sheriff didn't announce that he was law enforcement and for all we know had just let himself in without permission. This is essentially a domestic dispute and I'm sure crazy wives claim that their husband is going to kill them and has a gun. They'll still follow a procedure. Nor did he say to drop the weapon. It would be simple to analyze the bullet in Brown to see that it came from the revolver.

I enjoyed. Leaves me wanting more. Like why the hell did he say that his wife owed him?

Please stop trying to write......

A confusing ending. Are there two Browns? The sheriff and the deputy? Where did the deputy come from? A nice nod to Eric Clapton, but the confusing ending dropped my score to 4 stars.

Not much.

If Bob's last name is Marley, I might weep...lol

Subtle!

5-stars

Hahahahaha....

"He's going to kill us. You don't know him." - If she's that fearful of him, why did she start the foolishness?

Perfect

Bahaha ok I needed that !!

What? 3*

Ha ha

funny?

I realize that 750 words is a challenge but why are the wives so very often this blatantly stupid. It completely detracts from whatever story the author is trying to tell when the wife is incredibly and unrealistically stupid.

I gave you an point back for the closing line. That was well played.

Interesting flash story... wonder what was in store for the Wife.

Cute,

Ed

Oh hummmmm. Why did I waste my time on this?

Clever way to get to the finish line. 5 *'s

Awesome! 5 stars and a fave!

So Brown was actually the sheriff, and he shot his own deputy, and then our aggrieved hero shot the sheriff, but he didn’t shoot the deputy. Unfortunately he didn’t shoot Sue either

4. A better 750 word story. I usually hate these type stories as they just feel like a taste of a longer story but this feels pretty decent, no real need for a longer story.

What fatass said says it all

@26thNC I think Sue was the deputy. So the MC got what he wanted in the end and Brown spared him the trouble of killing his own wife. Nicely constructed story! Only one quibble; a revolver? Really? In 2023? I guess it could have been his belly gun though. Still a 5 star.

Blah. Not even close!!!

Ha!.

Terrible!

Anonymous below.

Some of us still use revolvers. Quality over quantity. ;)

Quelle merde

Half page flash stories are just not to my liking but I did like the story!

One word only - BRILLIANT!!!

Love it.. karma is a bitch..

DOL

What the fuck was that all about?

There are some mighty fine .357 mag pistols. Ruger GP100's and Colt Snake guns Python, Cobra, etc. Much more trustworthy than a semi-auto. Accuracy is usually excellent. Great Story. 5 stars. Thanks. It all depends what you practise with, and trust. I know Taurus makes some interesting pistols, I bought a .38 special for my GF turned #4 wife and the safety transfer bar would hang up on the firing pin. Not reliable. ooops.

Whaaaaaaaaaaaat?

For some reason, especially in a Genre where some writers explicitly are named after famous musical pieces, hidden musical Easter eggs are placed in probably a third of the stories, etc., some folks don't seem to get the reference to BOB Marley's (and later, Eric Clapton's cover of Bob's song), "I shot the sheriff (but I did not shoot the deputy)". If you are unfamiliar with the song, one, what rock do you live under, since they both are major party songs and made number one hits back years ago), and, two, get yourself into some place playing a Jamaican beat, enjoy the sun, the wind, a tall, rum based, spark up (if that's your thing... no judgement, it's not mine), and enjoy some reggae or easy listening rock. Ask Siri, Alexa, Spotify, whatever, to play the song and enjoy. If nothing else, just literally open Google and.cut and past the last sentence.

I think in the writers haste to be able to use that song as an ending, he left out too much. I guess we are to assume the guy banging his wife was a sheriff, and a deputy just happened to show up at the door?

Lol, the song is so old and dated. If it were a party song it was from parties where the birdy song was also played.

???????????????????

🤪 palming my forehead at the end with a big smile on my face. Well done, 5 from me.

Brilliant 5*

Had to read the ending several times and still not sure I understand what happened, except that Brown got his due for being such a bastard and trying to fuck the MC wife.

Buster knows his guns. I better quit messing with him. I love this story and the song.

You lost me. You might want to write things a bit more clearly when you talk about shooting cuz I have no clue cept her boss got offed.

sorry couldn't follow the ending