by Dianthus
Pure smut from beginning to end. I loved it! Great job for your very first submission. Keep em cumming!
Short, sexy and oh so sweet. A concise vignette and a fine first submittal. Let this be the first of many.
a very nice descriptive vignette; I really appreciated your use of first and second person to make it personal.
I could see this playing out in my minds eye.
Well done.
Now on to chapter 2.
A solid first effort and something to be proud of. Use of first person makes it easy for the reader to envision themselves in the moment...and it's definitely a spot I enjoy envisioning myself in. Keep up the good work.
This is extremely well written especially on two counts - first the mood. Any one who reads this and doesn't get worked up has a serious problem. Secondly, you use the two hardest narratives to pull off, first (I) and second (you) and you seamlessly switch between them. This is very hard to do and you made it look easy. I really look forward to more work from you. Great luck in a very promising career!
This is a visually smooth engagement for the reader. And I find it delightful that you manage to personalize the characters through circumstance with just a few suggestive leading and ending sentences.
aside from the cheesy line at the end, i loved this piece! succinct and erotic!
I like the fact the story starts off hot and gets hotter. Very nicely written.
..so well written with detail, i got a sense i was part of this encounter. thanks for sharing your truly talented writing style with us.
I don't usually read second person POV tales, but this one was really good. Well written and it didn't lag. Great job!
I liked this story very much. Well written. I saw only one typo, but I think we all do that here and there. I have to admit, this is the first erotic story I've read in some time where all the participants were consenting....thank you.
Nice Di. Very descriptive and the first person POV puts us right inside the unnamed woman's mind. Just wish we could get inside her body too. Good Story. FIVE!!