Body of Water Ch. 05

****

I think I was screaming but silken warmth and sharp tang of sulfur surrounded me and it was familiar enough that I began to relax.

"I told you that you could trust me."

I turned my head - I had a head and body again - and there he was. Broad and tall and emanating a heat that made my pulse pound. I was about to open my mouth to ask just who he was when it came to me.

"You're Aedan McKay."

The corners of his golden brown eyes wrinkled and he smiled at me. It didn't occur to me to wonder where we were or how we'd ended up there because he was smiling at me. I felt something shift inside me and I slid closer to Aedan. His smile widened and the temperature increased as his arms came up around my body.

"How do I know you?"

His smile drooped at the corners and he let out a slow breath. He lowered his face until our foreheads touched and we held that pose for a long moment.

"He did it again, didn't he?"

I leaned back to look into his face. "Who did what again?"

He released me and took a step back. In a rush, our surroundings took shape - or was it just that I hadn't noticed them before?

I looked around and recognized the interior of the Firehall. It was still early in the evening and there were a few people moving around, getting ready for the night's business. I watched them for a minute before bringing my eyes back to Aedan. He was watching me with an unreadable expression and I stepped close to him.

"What is it?"

"How do you know my name?"

I blinked as I tried to recall. "My friend, Angela, she told me after we'd been here."

"When was that?"

"Last Saturday."

Had it only been a week ago? It felt much longer and I still felt like there was something missing, something that I wasn't getting.

Aedan blew out a breath and gave me a weak smile. He reached a hand out and I slid my fingers into his without hesitation. "Come with me."

The warmth of his hand and the deep tone of his voice made me shiver but it was pleasant. I nodded and followed as he led the way out of his club.

We walked down the street and I wasn't aware of what direction we went in. A few minutes later, we walked into the lobby of an apartment building. Aedan headed straight for the elevator and we rode up to the top floor.

I gaped at the penthouse apartment as we entered and glanced at Aedan. "Is this where you live?"

Aedan frowned and shrugged. He moved away from me, dropping my hand as he did. I felt the loss of his warm palm and wrapped my arms around my torso, wanting to hold the warmth close for as long as I could.

I didn't know why he was so upset with my questions, why he seemed disappointed that I didn't know him, even though every fiber of my being told me that I did.

Well, there was only one way to find out.

"OK. It's time you told me some things." I hoped my voice sounded more certain than I felt.

Aedan met my gaze from across the giant living room. He crossed his arms over his chest and lifted his eyebrows. "What kind of things?"

"For starters, how did we get here?"

"We walked from the Firehall."

I narrowed my eyes and he mirrored the look. A lick of heat tickled the insides of my thighs and a gasp slipped out of my lips. "D-don't try to distract me."

He chuckled and the sound reached across the room to caress my face like he'd touched me. I drew in a fortifying breath and tried again.

"You know what I meant. How did we get to the Firehall? I remember being..." I trailed off as I tried to recall where I'd been.

It was Friday, right? I had been at work, then running errands, then...

"Why can't I remember?"

Aedan's expression saddened and he rubbed a hand over his face. "It's a power he has over you."

"What? Who?"

"You must know."

I threw my hands up in the air and shook my head. "I wouldn't be asking if I did. The last thing I remember is running down the street by Avan's house and-"

Aedan crossed the room in three long strides and caught me up in his arms. My words died on my lips and I moaned when his warm arms closed around my body. I felt his mouth open on my neck and the hot breath he exhaled warmed me throughout my entire body.

"You do remember."

I didn't remember my own name at the moment and I didn't care.

Aedan pulled back and cupped my face in his palms. "Nerina, love. Tell me you remember what happened?"

Under his intense golden gaze, I felt memories creep into my consciousness. "We were running down the road because I'd been at Avan's house. He was..." I paused and frowned as a cold feeling washed over me. "He was hurting me?" That didn't make any sense. Ever since meeting Avan, he'd been nothing but kind and considerate.

"No!" Aedan roared and a blast of heat from his body rocked me back on my heels.

"Why are you so mad at me?"

"I'm not mad at you, Nerina." He dropped his hands and straightened with a deep breath. "You can't know how frustrating this is for me."

I laughed and clapped a hand over my mouth to stop it from turning hysterical. "For you? Please, I'm trying to figure things out too." I spun away from him and began to pace across his apartment, noticing that I had bare feet.

"Talk to me, love." Aedan watched me from where he stood. "We can figure it out together."

I threw him an arch look and he offered me a weak smile. "All right. No more distracting me with your body heat."

Aedan smiled then, a real smile and I had to look away before I melted into a puddle on the floor.

"I make no promises, Nerina."

I ignored the way my body reacted to his voice and the pulsing heat radiating from his section of the room. I cleared my throat and focused my attention on pacing; one foot in front of the other.

"You don't like Avan." It wasn't a question and Aedan didn't answer. His response was a low growl that I took as acknowledgment. "How do you even know each other?"

Aedan stiffened. "We are brothers."

I froze and turned to face him. "Don't lie to me."

"I'm not lying." The look on his face was pure innocence but I didn't believe him. How could I?

"You're white. Avan's obviously not."

"Doesn't make it less true."

"So what, are you...blood brothers or something? Like, you swore to each other or something?" It sounded ridiculous and I was drawing on memories of cheesy war movies and the like where men made blood oaths and became brothers in spite of differences in race, background or age.

Aedan laughed but there was no humor in it. "I suppose brothers might be the wrong term but by today's standards, it's what we are."

"Today's standards?" I shook my head and gave a dismissive wave. "Whatever. Fine. You know him. And you don't like him, brothers or not?"

"He took something that didn't belong to him."

It was on the tip of my tongue to ask what but the look in Aedan's eyes told me before I could voice the question.

"I am not a belonging."

"I never said you were."

"Then why would you say he took me when I didn't belong to him?"

"It's true, isn't it?" Aedan began to pace now. "You didn't belong to him and you still don't."

"Is that what this is about? You want me and so does he?"

Aedan didn't even look at me as he nodded.

"Well, I have news for you: I belong to no one!"

"I know that. I never wanted you for a possession." Aedan stopped to face me and I saw how close his pacing had come to where I stood. I could feel the waves of heat emanating from him with every heartbeat.

Whoa. Heartbeat? Is that what that is?

"We've always been connected, Nerina, in a way that you and Avan could never be. It's always made him angry and jealous."

I shook my head, confused by his nearness, by his body heat and by the very conversation. It felt unreal and familiar all at the same time.

"I'm so confused."

Aedan came towards me with slow steps until he was close enough to touch. He didn't touch me, even as my knees began to tremble from the sensations jangling everywhere in my body.

"I know, love. I wish I could make it easier for you."

I looked up at him through a sheen of tears. "You can. Just tell me what's going on."

"I can't."

"Why not?" I hated that I sounded so whiny, that I was all but begging him to talk to me, to tell me what was going on. I hadn't felt sure of myself in a long time and here I was, with someone who seemed to know everything about what was happening to me.

And he wouldn't tell me anything.

When I met Aedan's gaze again, he looked tortured, as if my being upset caused him physical pain. With a choked sob, I reached for him. His arms came around my waist to hold me against his body and I clung to him. I buried my nose in his neck and cried, mindless of my tears soaking his skin. He held me close, his hot hands sliding up and down my back.

"I'm s-so confused," I bawled.

"I know." His voice sounded choked, as if he were holding back tears. "I'm so sorry, love."

I cried into his neck and on his shoulder for a long time. I didn't notice him moving to sit down on his couch until my tears began to recede. I sniffled and caught the scent that Aedan was giving off. It was achingly familiar and stung my nostrils even as it affected me on a much more primal level.

Aedan's arms tensed where he held me and I realized I was sitting in his lap, all his hard, hot muscles surrounding me, protecting me. I turned my head and pressed my lips to the salty wetness I'd left on his skin from my tears. Then I opened my mouth and licked the spot I'd been crying on and smiled when I felt his entire body shudder at the contact.

"My love, please."

"Please what?" My tone was innocent but I didn't stop licking him.

Along with the tang of my tears, there was his flavor. It was acidic and tangy and I couldn't get enough. It was like sipping my favorite drink or lapping up my favorite ice cream before it melted and ran down my chin. I made a sound like a cat purring and Aedan responded with a deep groan that vibrated through my body.

"Nerina, you test my strength."

"Me? But you are so much bigger and stronger than me." The words, so cliched, would normally have made me cringe to hear, never mind say. Somehow they seemed right and Aedan's body heat cranked up several degrees until I felt sweat break out between my shoulder blades.

"I have little strength to resist you."

I pulled back and looked into his eyes. He still looked upset and torn. I smiled as I lifted a hand to his chin. "Why are you resisting me?"

He opened his mouth to reply then stopped, as if the words he'd been about to use weren't right.

"Don't you want me?" I coupled this question with a feminine batting of the eyelashes and was gratified to feel the pulse of his burgeoning member beneath my thigh. I bit my lip and shifted a little so he could feel the warmth he generated between my thighs.

"I want you so much, love."

My breath left my lungs in a relieved sigh and I nuzzled his neck again. "Then take me."

"I can't."

"Why?"

He drew in a deep, shuddering breath and I felt his fingers flex against my lower back. "You must take me into yourself willingly."

I could have laughed if his tone hadn't been so serious. Instead I eased myself off his lap and began to undress before him. He watched me with that same tortured expression as I peeled my shirt and bra off before sliding my skirt and panties down my legs. Even as I blushed and struggled to control the wild thumping of my heart, I didn't feel that I was doing anything wrong. Everything felt very right.

Before I settled back onto his lap, I undid the snap of his jeans and pushed the zipper down. As I straddled his thighs, I shivered at the heat rising from his body. He didn't hold me but his eyes didn't move from my face and I settled myself against his body.

"I'm very willing, Aedan." I leaned close and licked the side of his neck, now dry from my tears. "And so are you, I think."

I slid my hand into his pants and stifled a moan when I found him, sans underwear. He was hot, burning my palm but I closed my fingers around his hard length and squeezed. His head rolled back onto the couch and he let out a long, low groan.

"Don't make me beg, Aedan."

His hands came up and I grinned, ready to be taken by him, to be swallowed by his intense heat. But he didn't take me. He was hot and I was sweating everywhere but he didn't take me.

He grasped me by the waist and rolled me onto the couch beside him. Then he leapt to his feet and strode across the room away from me so fast I thought I imagined it.

"Aedan?"

"I can't!" His cry was anguished and he thrust his hands through his hair. I heard a sound like the crackling of a fire but there was no fireplace in his apartment.

"I don't understand."

"That's just it, don't you see?"

"No!" I was beyond frustrated now. I leapt to my feet and fumbled as I tried to gather my clothing together. My face burned from his heat and from the humiliation now swamping me. "I don't understand. I don't see why you don't want me."

"I do want you, more than anything. It's why I'm here."

I faced him and hugged my stomach, my clothes dangling from my hands. I could feel tears clogging my throat but I didn't want to cry in front of him again.

"You know that something isn't right, don't you? You remember Avan but not what he did to you, or why we ran from his house?"

I nodded and rubbed my arms. Why did we run from Avan's house? Did we run all the way downtown from his suburb?

"We didn't run. You know we didn't."

I scowled. "How did you know what I was thinking?"

"It's part of our bond."

"What bond? I just met you last week!"

"Only in this lifetime."

"Stop speaking in circles!" I started to walk towards him but he gave off a blast of heat that stopped me in the middle of the room. "I want answers."

"You remember meeting me?" He sounded amazed and hopeful.

"Of course I remember meeting you. It's not every day I meet an interesting, eligible, handsome man."

"Do you remember seeing me after that?"

I started to nod but stopped myself. "No. We only met the one time. Until tonight, I mean." Even as I said it, it felt wrong. There was something else there, just tickling the edge of my mind. I tried to latch onto it but it slithered away and I made a frustrated noise. "None of this makes any sense."

"It will, Nerina. Please, you have to try to understand."

"I am trying," I snapped and whirled away from him. I went and sat down on the couch, still holding myself. Being inside this small space with Aedan made it hard to concentrate. His unique scent was all around me, coating my body. The temperature jacked up for a moment and a physical yearning coiled deep in my belly.

"God, Aedan. I want you. I just want you to make love to me." I didn't care anymore about begging or sounding needy. I wanted him. No, it was more than that. I needed him. Everything about him called out to me, made me forget the independent woman I was.

He crossed the room and knelt at my feet before I could draw another breath. His hands closed over mine and pulled them away from my torso. My clothes fell forgotten to the floor from my numb fingers. Aedan drew me down and cradled me against his body. I inhaled and his warm scent filtered into my body as his body heat soothed me.

"I want to make love to you, Nerina, so much that this hurts me to be this close and not do it. I know you don't understand why we can't but you are so close to remembering."

"Remembering what?"

"Who you are. Who I am. What we are to each other."

"I'm Nerina. You're Aedan. What else is there?"

Aedan's eyes glimmered with unshed tears. "So much more, my lovely."

His words, and that endearment, cracked something inside of me. It felt it like a bubble popping under a pointed finger. I sagged against Aedan's body as my vision went dark.