Booger Red

When we left Carol's apartment and headed south I asked Sally, "What do you think of us making a lazy trip of it, Honey? We could drive about half way then maybe watch for a pretty place for a picnic for lunch. Later I could spring for a hotel or motel with a pool we could swim and sun in, then dress and go out for a fancy dinner?"

Sally's pretty face lit up! "That sounds fabulous, Jo, it's a date! You say and do the most romantic things."

"Sugar Plum," I grinned and told her, "you are so sweet I could eat you up, and I'll do that again tonight if you will allow me?" Sally kissed me and grinned.

We hadn't gone far before I spied a produce stand beside the road. They had a sign saying, "Organically grown." I had to pull over to browse. They had big vine-ripened tomatoes that looked delicious and would work perfect on our sandwiches.

Sally commented, "Oh, those are beautiful, Jo! I'd like some of those yellow squashes sliced thin on my sandwiches, too. They'd be good for the baby and me. Oh, here's green tomatoes, too!"

I promised her, "We'll buy several pounds of those green ones and figure some way to fry a batch within a day or two even if I have to buy a camp stove to do it." Sally was such fun to shop with. She was as thrilled about those fresh home raised vegetables we bought as some women I've known in my life have been with jewelry. I pulled back onto the road. "Red headed Sally, that gal sure is fine." I rhymed to her, "She loves her tomatoes ripened on the vine!" That impromptu attempt at poetry won me another pretty smile.

Sally remembered a beautiful park she'd rested in while traveling on the rodeo circuit, and I immediately took her suggestion. The doll needed all the empowerment I could give her after her ordeal. "Let's find a shaded table, Jo. I'm going to cry when Nancy gets her first freckles! With my family it's a matter of when, not if. The boys used to tease me until I cried. I know now it was because they liked me, but no one could convince me of it then."

I patted her hand, and told her, "I love your pretty freckles, Sally. They're sun kisses and I pity the poor girls who don't have them." We sat the baby carrier on the table and one or both of us stayed within arm reach of Nancy at all times. My training had never included anything about being complacent and wasps, squirrels, or even a passing raven could easily harm a baby.

I put the ice chest on one of the bench seats of the table and began slicing vegetables onto a paper plate. Within a few minutes we were enjoying delicious ham sandwiches with all the trimmings and sodas along with our conversation. Sally asked, "Do you think I could ever go back to competition, Jo?"

I gave that a moment of thought, then told her, "I would expect it's an option and mostly up to you, Sally. I won't be a 'stay at home' daddy. I would never be as good at breast feeding Nancy as you, either. We seem to do fine on the road together, and there are worse places than the rodeo circuit we could raise her until she starts school."

Sally laughed, "You know, Jo, when you call me 'Booger Red' it reminds me of the rodeos. One of the announcers called me that because of my eyes, small size, and coloring, and the rest of them all took it up. He told me more than once my eyes made me look like I am from some other place or some other time. I've always wondered what made him feel that way."

With the subject on the table I had to join in. "I noticed your eye color the moment I saw you, Sweetheart. I find them quite beautiful and mysterious. The only other eyes I've seen that color were those of a jaguar that investigated me one day in South America."

Sally found that fascinating, "I'd love to see a wild one close up, Jo! That had to be the thrill of a lifetime."

I assured her, "Oh, it was. I was in full camouflage, face paint, jungle fronds and all. I'd been immobile leaning against a tree for a day and a half. That big kitty finally got curious and came up to me to see what I was. When he got downwind of me he tore up half the jungle getting out of there! The people I'd been waiting for heard the ruckus and started a firefight."

"Goddess!" Sally exclaimed. "What did you do, Jo?"

I told her, "I did the only thing I could do, Sally. I attacked."

Sally put her arms around me. "Don't make me cry, Jo. The baby and I need you and love you!" There was that word again. It seemed to be coming up more and more in our discussions.

Our first stop in Sally's hometown was a bar she knew her husband drank in regularly. When we walked in the door all eyes turned to us. Sally sat at a table as I held her chair. I pulled up a chair for me and sat the baby carrier on the table for all to see. I asked, "Would you like a soda or a beer, Sally?"

The waitress walked over and brought Sally a soda, already knowing her preference. I told her my brand of beer and she brought one. She hugged Sally and then made appreciative noises over the baby. She didn't ask to hold the baby and Sally didn't offer. We both wanted Nancy close to us until this was over. Sally asked the waitress, "Has Roy been in yet today? Do you know where he's staying?"

She answered, "He has been in here every day this week, so I'd expect him to be in later. He's staying at his dad's place over on Fourth Street. I've asked him where you were but he didn't have much to say." Sally thanked her for the information, but added no more of her own. The woman went back to her stool at the bar. We finished our drinks, Sally thanked the bartender again, and we went to confront Roy. Sally was raving mad that Roy had the money to drink every day while she and the baby had been homeless and starving.

Someone from the bar must have called him, because Roy was standing on the porch of the little house with a whiskey bottle in his hand as we drove up. He looked big and he looked bad.

I was overjoyed to see that because most of the really tough men I have gone up against in my life were not the largest. I parked on the street, and both of us got out of the car.

Sally wanted to walk into his territory to face him and see what he had to say. Okay, I could respect that, she was married to him and he'd deserted her, she had every right to demand to know why, but I wanted to be close when she did it.

He asked her, "Where have you been? I see you had the bastard." He put the whiskey bottle down, and as he came back up he backhanded Sally as she approached! He put his hands on his hips and stared at me defiantly in the typical belligerent bully manner I'd seen in bars around the world.

He was obviously expecting we'd do a beer joint dick dance complete with a lot of cursing and shirt ripping. I did as any southern gentleman with my training would have done.

I swiftly closed on him, pivoted, and applied the heel of one of my boots upside of his head before he could react! The blow broke his jaw, gave him a concussion and dropped him like a poll axed steer. When he fell the arm he'd hit Sally with lay conveniently across the edges of the concrete steps and I stomped it several times, breaking it in a number of places like kindling wood.

I had the sole of my boot on his throat when I turned to look at Sally. I asked her, "Would you like for me to really hurt him now, my Love? I don't think there's a Grand Jury in the south that would indict me for murder while defending a new mother."

Sally was crying, but she was also very, very, angry! She said, "I think he deserves to share a little of the pain I felt walking that five miles back to that dump he left me in from the hospital."

I told her, "It's your rodeo, Sally Ann. Go for it." She went on the attack! She kicked her unconscious husband in the crotch with her boots. That little girl kicked him like she was going for a field goal!

I told her, "I'd figure his chances of knocking up another girl are somewhere between slim and none now." Sally giggled. I admire a vicious sense of humor in a woman as long as she's on my side!

We went to the car to check on the baby. She was sleeping quietly in her car seat. I drove away from Roy's dad's house as someone came out onto the porch. "It's cover our ass time now, Sally, which way to the Sheriff's Office?" I didn't want a hard-nosed Alabama State Patrolman pulling us over with a warrant. I also cautioned her we would both have to deny inflicting anything but the initial injuries done in self-defense, if questioned.

Sally laughed, then told me, "I'll bat my eyes, smile sweetly, and say, 'Whatever do you mean, sir?'" I love having remorseless partners in the few crimes I do commit! She gave me directions and in a few minutes we walked into their office with the baby in her carrier.

An officer saw us come in and asked, "Sally, what can we do for you today? Roy's not in jail yet this week."

"Well he ought to have been!" She told the officer. The officer perked up at that news. "He abandoned me in Nashville last month," she told him, "I had the baby all alone, We were left homeless and starving. When I came back here and confronted him about it he hit me, and I'm filing charges. I've already heard down at the bar he's been there drinking all week."

The officer didn't like hearing any of that. "He ought to be horse whipped in the public square, Sally. He had a bad reputation, but his name will be mud now. Where can I find him? If he's still staying at his dad's place I'll go pick him up right now."

I'd been hearing the sounds of a siren and said, "I'd think he's probably unconscious in that ambulance, Officer. He sort of fell off his dad's porch after he hit Sally and broke his jaw and his arm. He probably has a concussion, too." I neglected to mention his injured testicles Sally had "massaged" with the toes of her boots, of course.

The officer seemed to enjoy the story I was telling. He grinned and asked, "Who might you be, sir?" I showed him my Texas driver's license. "Jo Shelby? You could get elected County Sheriff in these parts with that name alone, Mr. Shelby! Come to think of it, you could get elected Sheriff for breaking Roy's arm and jaw for hitting Sally. That girl is much admired around here, for everything except for being Roy's wife." I could tell we were making the officer's day.

He reached for a camera, and told Sally, "Let's take some pictures of your face for evidence, Sally Ann. Hold your newborn in your arms. The Judge will want to hear about that, too. He is pure hell on spousal abuse and deadbeat dads! I'd wager you'll either get child support out of this until the baby is out of school or a monthly check forwarded from the County for Roy's wages at the Prison Farm."

He got his pictures of Sally and Nancy. Sally's face was red and slightly swollen on that side. He said, "I don't see any trouble coming out of this for the two of you, Sally. I take it you may be in Texas?"

I asked the officer, "Please take down my name and number. Our lawyers will be interested in this if there are any problems with the custody or divorce issues." The officer made copies of the assault report and handed them to me. He made a copy of my ID, included it in his folder, then shook both our hands and made funny faces and noises at Nancy Sue before we left.

"I think I'd like to visit the Judge before we leave town, Jo." Sally told me. "He was my sponsor when I was competing at barrels and stake racing. He was a lifetime friend of Granny's and he's been like a grand father to me all my life. I suspect he was actually my mother's dad, but they seldom talked about my mother to me."

"Certainly, Sweetheart." I told her. "Do you have any idea where he'd be?"

"Down at the diner, at this time of day," she said, "with all the other old geezers. Don't believe anything these folks tell you about me, Jo. I am not a little hellion!"

"Oh, I believe you, Darling!" I told her, I was hoping I sounded convincing.

Sally got a round of applause when we entered the coffeehouse. These people had all watched her grow up in the town, then seen her ride at rodeos around the state and considered her a local champion and celebrity. The two distinguished looking gentlemen the Judge had been sitting with politely moved to give us room to sit with him after exchanging friendly greetings and hugs with Sally.

The Judge himself stood and hugged Sally to him. He kissed her fondly, then held her chair to seat her. He shook my hand, then asked to see the baby. He looked her over, kissed her button nose and cheeks, and declared her the spitting image of both Sally and her mother at that age. He said, "Well, now this baby is the fourth generation of redheads in your lines I've been in love with! Your Granny was my first love in grade school. She was quite a rounder, as you are. What's this I hear about Roy being on the critical list and in the Intensive Care Unit?"

Sally Ann was ready for that question! "He beat me one too many times, Judge. All I was asking for was some reason to tell the baby, later on, why he'd deserted me in Nashville. He'd lied and said he'd be back for me when he found a job. I had been homeless on the street with Nancy for a week and starving for two days when Jo found us."

Sally spoke loud enough for all to hear. "Jo took me to confront Roy and he slapped me hard, then stood there, daring Jo to try to stop him from beating me. I didn't see Jo move until Roy's eyes rolled back in his head and he fell!"

The Judge said, "You always have me to turn to, Sally Ann. I know you're proud though. I'm glad you found someone who'd protect you." That turned the Judge's shrewd eyes to me. "Yep, I expect Roy bit more off the plug than he could chew this time. Infantry or Airborne, Mr. Shelby?"

I told him proudly, "Airborne all the way, Judge, and please call me Jo."

The Judge laughed, stuck his big fist out, and shook my hand again. He said, "Welcome home, Brother, and thank you for taking care of my redheads!"

Sally Ann chimed in. "Jo has horses in Texas, too, Judge. I'd told him you sponsored me in my racing."

"Yes, Sally Ann, I did, and I'd be proud to do it again." He peered around the room at the people there. "I don't care who knows this. I don't know if your Granny ever told you officially but we were very close for many years, though we never married. You are my Grand Daughter, you are of my blood, you are in my will, and one day you will inherit my ranch. You can pick up your horse and saddles anytime or leave him there. I'd have given your horse to you before, Darling, except for Roy, but that concern looks to be over now."

Sally was overjoyed! She stood, hugged the Judge, and kissed him. She looked questioningly at me. I told her, "We could be back from Texas sometime next week with our truck and horse trailer. Come to think of it, let me ask you something, Sally." She leaned toward me. I offered, "I can have my truck and horse trailer driven up or freighted here, if you'd like to give the Judge some time with you and the baby. We can decide later whether to base ourselves in one or both places." Sally's eyes lit up, and her pretty smile went ear to ear! She gave me a kiss, then broke the news to the Judge. He beamed, and told us he'd be delighted if, as his family, we'd stay at the ranch.

The Judge asked if we'd like some refreshment and Sally asked for a soda. He confided to me, he'd order a special coffee for him and me. From the gleam in his eye I expected exactly what we got, about three ounces of moonshine, also known as Old Stump Blower in many parts of Texas. We toasted Brothers who hadn't come home, and drank it down! "Thanks, Judge, that's smooth coffee." I thanked him. "I think now I'll go to the bar and kick two or three of Roy's friends in the head. You know if I don't they'll be saying for years, 'I wish that Texas cowboy had tried kicking me in the head!'"

The Judge laughed until he was red in the face and wheezing. I had tipped over Sally Ann's giggle box, too, and she was reduced to cute little snorts of wild laughter. She was so tickled her milk let down. The Judge pounded me on the back. I knew I was now officially one of the good old boys in this part of Alabama, and he'd be telling that joke about me for years. He ordered us another round of 'coffee'. I handed the SUV keys to my Booger Red.

*

Disclaimer- No animals were harmed in the production of this story, except Roy, and he doesn't count, he abused a woman.