by andtheend
But soooo real that it's scary. You gals deserve much more than what we give you. It seems that most of us men have to get to about 80 before we grow enough brains in both heads to know what to give you, and then we can't perform at "par" to satisfy you.
Insightful story w good dialogue. Joey has no idea he's a jerk and he remains unchanged throughout the story. as he is talking about what he likes in the beginning, at the end he is getting it: playing with her big tits while she is sucking him off. she is trying to talk to him and i liked the way the dialogue curved to an examination of what is really going on between them. she is trying to tell him what she likes but he is oblivious. there is no conversation between them because joey is too self-centered and doesn't know how to listen. this couple is doomed but that is all for the best for her.
The banter between the couple is extraordinarily written. In fact, it's written so well that I found the couple annoying. Good job! I am now going to read more of your work.
As others have said, the dialog is very well done. The only other comment I have is that there is no way these two people would still be together after seven years, because they do not communicate at all.
Funny- well written. I think pillow talk is wonderful.I loved the writing and the plot was good, neatly gathered in the end to demonstrate the juxtopositions of fantasy and reality. Thank you.