All Comments on 'Born Free'

Why if he had been checking his family facebook for years did they never mention the heat was off?

A happy ending for all, except Stan.

Great story and great ending. I like how you didn't make eve into a bad guy like how some other authors would or make it so she doesn't have a happy ending. Maybe also have her sister visit asking for another one or the child finding out and visiting him just to know him as a side story.

Not sure why he (and the story) is going in so hard on Eve, he only married her for a cover despite not feeling much for her, that's as big a betrayal as cheating. And the whole porking her sister because her husband was sterile was oh so convenient. The whole Rory relationship felt undercooked and I didn't end up caring about how they fared. Jeff just seems like an asshole who does one noble deed in his life (taking the fall for his brother) and the story then decides that he's going to be the hero, no matter how shitty he is otherwise.

So much better than all your incest stories (jaybee186)

Well enough written I suppose but I couldn’t come to like or root for the main character in the story and that’s going to be a problem.

Stupid Eve, woke up any too late.

4/5

I did enjoy the story, but like some others have commented already, there are some plot holes that leave much to be desired. It kinda felt rushed, like it may have been an idea for another story, but you chose to split it off into its own thing and didn't develop it like you normally do in your work

1. Exactly how many months had Eve been cheating if by the time everything was revealed that the SIL, BIL, MIL, and boss's wife all knew and were actively working against her behind her back?

2. Who came up with the idea for Jeff to be a sperm donor, how did they ask him, and who determined that they would use the "natural method" as opposed to a clinical setting?

3. You mentioned that Rory was the gang leader's daughter. I find it highly unusual that a father of I'll repute would gladly allow his kid to hook up with one of his underlings.

4. The kid brother's crime. It wasn't until the end that it was said to be arson. That probably could have been mentioned at the beginning. Also, there was no mention of anyone actively warning the kid, like everyone was assumed through osmosis that he would get "don't do as I do".

5. How did he meet Eve in the first place?

Sorry about the rambling.

usually you wrap your stories in a nice little bow, but at least they are interesting. This story was kinda just there. Not so interesting. 3*

I've only recently seen any of your stories and have reached the conclusion that they suck. Each and every one I've read, which are few. 1*

Pretty good, but not as compelling as some of your stories. It was probably already “in the queue,” but I would rather have seen the next chapter of Fucking Hell.

Why did you kill her off at such a young age? Why not 78? At least she could enjoy the grand children for another 10 years.

Nice story and story line. I would have omitted Eve dying though. FYI, his marrying Eve only as a cover story made him worse than her, almost. Still 5/5 though.

Nice story. Only, we know what happened to Eve. But what about Jeff and Rory? Do they live happily ever after too? Thanks for the story.

Not a bad story; but, certainly an interesting story. Would Mike/Jeff trashed his marriage to Eve if she remained faithful??? This one has me thinking what the outcome would had been if one or two details in the marriage had been different. Grouch6977

Pretty good story except I don't like my lead people to be criminals.

Very nice story, it's well written and creative with a kick of emotion. Don't sweat the comments from us non-writers, I try to be constructive and have noticed too many just being jerks.

Dear god; please learn how to wrie a complete sentence. I couldn't finish reading it because there was hardly a sentence in the entire story, the didn't either start in the middle of a thought, or end before the thought was complete.

Good read, well written.

Keeps rolling one topic to another with little resolution. Too much unnecessary dialog. Not every detail needs to be explained

Wow I am shocked. You wrote a story without family loving

I tried to get through it, but had to bail after two pages

I think the overused cliches, textbook LW wife, and the way too pat of a story worked against my desire to finish this, and my desire lost.

Missing a little of the intensity I've come to expect from your stories. Not sure why I'm saying that, but just how I felt after reading it. Always a good read - 4*

Come on, man...a '46 Flathead is kickstart only. The Big Harleys did not have electric start till the Electraglide came out in '65. If Jeff/Mike put an electric start on the Flathead did he also put training wheels on the bike? No true biker would ever desecrate a Flathead like that. Otherwise the story wasn't bad but still could have used a little more conflict and suspense beyond Eve's cheating.

WTF? Does anybody move to Buffalo? ;-) 5

You wrote ''She had ruined one relationship with her lies''.

What about him? Eve never knew him for real, she did not know the man she married. Why was she the bad one?

I would have loved to have seen this story become a series with multiple chapters. but I will take what I can get. love the story.

Interesting story!

4

Good story,

I enjoyed the read. Thank you, and keep writing.

My sister and her family live in Rio Rancho.

@lujon2019

Why if he had been checking his family facebook for years did they never mention the heat was off?

Would you have taken that chance and gone back before the statute of limitation ran out?

@LT_Bookworm

I did enjoy the story, but like some others have commented already, there are some plot holes that leave much to be desired.

The "plot holes" you bring up aren't important enough to make any difference to the story, so why bother.

I wasn't sure if I was going to enjoyed the story after the first short bit. However, it did get better and turned into a good story.

Most of the time your writing catches my intrigue a little faster, that is why I did not give up on the story.

Keep Writing

JH4Fun

wtf happened with this one. the first sentence doesn't even make sense.

I understand why you don't mention exactly what the brother did because a bad ass biker wouldn't hide from the cops to escape an arson charge. a year or 2 in jail is character building. cant let the cops put me in the slammer for a couple years, need to start a new life and hide forever

Seven years and still pineing away for their high school boyfriend/ girlfriend. No emotional growth at all. Mike/ Jeff just comes off as pathetic. Ok David Banner your on the run for a crime you didn't commit. Instead of moving on with his life he basically moves to Pennsylvania and bids his time. You try to write him like he's such a cool guy, but he just comes off as a loser. And Rory sucks too. Constantly going to her high school ex boyfriend's parents house after 7 years? I have to guess you are a young writer because all these Romeo and Juliette eternal love stories come off like poor YA fiction. MC is always super cool and everyone in the story wants to sleep with them, and conversely MC can sleep with anyone they want. Stop making your MCs the story and make them exist within the story.

ty its about time i read that line in LW lol it took long enough. that "he is a good guy" thing without correction was driving me nuts

Sis, you're a stupid bitch; if he was a good man, he wouldn't be sleeping with a married woman. No, he isn't a good man, he's a piece of shit, and sis, love ya and all, so are you. So don't expect sympathy from me, Chaz, Mom, or Dad. You brought this world of hurt onto yourself, willingly. I'll be here for you and all when you get served with the divorce papers on Monday."

Can somebody explain what the first sentence of this story is supposed to mean?

Nice ending with a good and exciting story ahead of it ! Your kinda becoming one, (I have a handful), of my favs on this site . 5stars

Good read, been riding Hog's for 67 years like I said good read.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Weird story, not sure what to make of it and I've read many of your submissions. Still well written as always.

[28.07.22]

Interesting mash-up pf Loving Wives and Romance.

11/10!!!!!

Great story! A little like SOA, but more plausible. 5*

Soul71 is typically an excellent author; however, this story doesn't measure up !

Great story. Love it. AAAAAA+++++

Different

I almost feel sorry for Eve. Sure she cheated, but her husband never loved her. She listened to a slick talker and pretty much lost everything.

I would like to know what would have happened if she had stayed faithful.

Marrying her was a dick mo e on his part since he never loved her.

A nice "Lifetime" kinda story.

Kind of have to agree with Big_Tim99's comment below. And the stuff with Tia and Chaz was unnecessary. I guess since Jeff had no qualms marrying a woman he did not love and had no future with beyond the alloted time of his exile, then he had no issue to continue to screw Tia well after he knew she got pregnant. And as we see in his own thoughts, the cat is out ofnthe bag and probably means the demise of her marriage as Tia will look for strange again but without Chaz's consent. Wonderful! At least Rory got to be happy. She and Jeff got to be together and in the end Eve maybe found someone better for her who actually loved her. I would wager that Eve probably picked up on his lack of emotional connection over time and especially as his end of his exile came closer since then his attention would be divided more and more. A more interesting story would have been if she had not cheated. And he walked away. Gut wrenching but more interesting.

What would have happened if the exile had ended before she cheated? It just looks bad as if he was just using her as a beard for cover the whole time.

Nicely put together, but an average tale of life.

Shame you didn't give any details on his kid he had with the suster-in-law

Nice story, great touch at the end, giving Eve a good life, to many author's are way over the top with their punishments, not all cheats are evil, some very immature. I gave 5* because of the end

My favorite Author! I thought that Soul71 had moved on and so got to thinking about him checked his listing. Glad to see Soul71 still writing. Thank you! 5BIG ASS FUCKING HUGE BLAZING NOVA STARS!

Good story I enjoyed your writing.

I lived in Rio Rancho for 9 years and now in Albuquerque for 2. Your story's very enjoyable, and thanks for the nod to NM.

Nice!

I've worked with gang members but their culture was so different from mine. For me this story showed just how much alike most people are. We hurt, we love... It was a good reminder not to be judgmental. Obviously 5*

I liked it it was a interesting take on the norm in the loving wife catagory while I still don't get why cheating is the normal basis in the lw catagory when that isn't what a loving wife is I have come to expect it though

Jeff is just as bad as Eve. Hard to like him. Pretty much an asshole using everybody around him. Not much of a love story between Jeff and Rory. Two people who will use/hurt anyone in their narcissistic world.

Crazy but entertaining. Rory was a force of nature. With Jeff and Eve deceived each other in different ways. I don't mind her finding happiness of her own. Jeff was always eventually going to ditch for his one true love: Rory.

Every bloody story of yours I read I absolutely love you are the best author I’ve seen on literotica and I’ve been reading stories on here for over 15 years now that’s the best comment I’ve ever left on any story. 5* 5* 5* 5* 5* 5* 5* 5* 5* 5* 5* 5* 5* 5* 5* 5* 5* 5* 5* 5*

Everyone pretty much sucks here and why the hell did no one in his family tell Jeff that he didn't need to be on the run anymore when the cops closed the file on the arson 5 years ago??? I mean, holy what?!!? Sorry mate, but this story was kind of stupid and none of the characters were particularly likeable. Bad karma 2/5

Today 3/13/24 I came acrost this story on YouTube. Named; Wife has been cheating on me for past few months. So, I dumped her and hopefully, she can learn... By a channel called "revolving time" As soon as it started I was like wtf... I know this story. Well, thought you should know. Hope to see you back here soon. Midge99.

Appreciate the heads up.