Boy Sorceress Pt. 05

My guts tied themselves in knots when I considered the possibility that these had been some cops, or even some hapless robbers that had knocked down my reinforced door.

Then the boy vampire and Lisa Tuttle stuck their heads in. I stared at them in confusion. Lisa raised a gun at my face and I instinctively imagined her firing pin held back. She pulled the trigger to no avail. Susan Hamilton's voice said, "Get 'im!" Three large men stomped into the room, each moving with an unnatural stiffness in their limbs.

Of course! Hamilton was using reanimated corpses as meat shields. I had no idea why she would shamble them around the city, but that was a matter for another time; now, I needed to escape. I used my power to slam the window open and jumped out before the lumbering corpses could grab me. I used my power to stop my fall and landed softly on the snow-covered pavement. The snow itself was mostly pristine. I looked around as best I could with the wind whipping snowflakes at my face. There was nobody around who could have seen me and there hadn't been for a while now. Cool.

Four big men stood around my car, blocking the doors. "Fuck!" Without the car, I was running.

"Get her," Susan screamed from the window above me. I looked up and smiled. She frowned when I waved at her. Her corpses lumbered at me, but I dodged them without much effort and unlocked my door. "No! No, no, no, no! Idiots!"

I started my engine and revved it up. I turned on the heater. My fingers were already numb and I had only been out in the cold for a few seconds. Buckling up was a chore. The corpses started banging on my car, trying to get inside. I put it in gear and ran over the one in front. I backed up and ran over two more. Then the last one was pushed aside by the two vampires who launched themselves upon my hood. They grabbed my wipers and snarled at me.

"Fuck you!" I slammed my foot on the gas and the Interceptor roared my defiance at them. They raised their fists to punch through my armored windshield, but I swerved wildly and they had to hold on with both hands on the supercharger's intake. The Interceptor was acting a little off during the maneuvers. I still managed to get it to eighty before I came across a patch of tarmac that a snowplow had recently cleared. I straightened out and waited for the vamps to raise their arms again.

When they did, I slammed my foot on the brake and sent them flying backwards. The bitch vampire took one of my wipers with her. I put the car in reverse and pulled out another burner from the glove compartment. I texted "r u clear bagboy" at the only number in the contacts list.

Because of the snow, I didn't see the SUV in the rearview mirror until it was too late. The impact slammed me into my seat and then the seatbelts kept my face from smashing against the steering wheel.

I shook my head to clear it, wondering if the SUV had been carrying civilians. The wind cleared enough snow for me to see the vampires running at me. I put the car into gear and disentangled it from the remains of the SUV, turning the wheel to circle the obstacle. A second SUV T-boned me in that instant. Only the seatbelts kept my head from smashing against the bulletproof glass of the door window.

A sharp crack against the window refocused my mind. Tuttle was hanging out the passenger window of the first SUV, shooting a gun at me. More bullets struck, driving me back into action. I put the car in reverse and floored it. The vampires were punching my windows, trying to get inside. I turned and backed away from them. My burner phone beeped and I stopped.

I looked at the phone. The text read: "Clear! Will call when ready! Come as You Are"

"Oh, thank fuck," I said. My all clear code was a Pixies song, hers was to respond with a Nirvana song. If she had responded with another Pixies song, it meant that the bad guys had gotten her. Thankfully, they were as dumb as ever. Now, all I had to do was lead them on a merry, snowy chase around town, until the trap was primed.

I turned on my high beams and revved my engine. Tuttle and the vampires stood before the ruined SUVs with two corpses. Two more undead were pulling Hamilton out of the wreck of the second SUV. One of her legs was missing and her cute, Asian face was covered with blood. One undead held her aloft and the other pulled a short, shapely calf from the car. He put it inside of her skirt and then the other undead set her down on the ground.

Amazingly, she walked, shaking her legs off as if she had just done a strenuous workout. An undead picked up fistfuls of fresh snow from the sidewalk and brought it to her. She used it to wipe the blood off her face.

Then all eight of them turned their attention to me.

A gust of wind obscured them from my sight with a wall of swirling snowflakes. I cut my high beams and donned a pair of orange-lensed eyewear. When the snowflakes thinned out, I could see that the undead were holding guns. Really big guns. I almost panicked as my mind raced back to the memory of the Alpha guys riddling my car with armor-piercing rounds.

Hamilton held up her small hand and the undead put the guns back into the wrecked SUVs. I could see her mouth moving, but I couldn't quite hear what she was yelling at me. I cracked my window a bit. "...and then I'll raise you to serve me for all time, you bitch!" Then they all ran at me.

I closed my window and resumed reversing. The vampires and Tuttle were the fastest. I floored it, but they were still catching up to me, little by little. I did a handbrake turn and was shocked at how poorly the car was responding. I put it into first and drove off just before the boy vamp could grab onto anything on my car. I put it into second and engaged the nitrous to put some distance between myself and the girls.

I cut the nitrous as soon as they became mere shadows in my rearview mirror. For the next few minutes, I drove slowly on the empty, icy, snow-covered roads, while Tuttle and the vampires ran after me, never quite catching up.

Then a car came up behind them, its engine roaring. It swerved on a patch of ice and nearly plowed over them. They stopped running and I slowed to a stop myself. In the distance, I could see some headlights milling around. It was time to check my route. I turned on my GPS.

I looked into my rearview mirror and saw the trio clamber into a second car, even as the first one was struggling to right itself and come after me. I resumed driving. I took the next left, though the Interceptor was very vague about it. The tires offered so little traction that I nearly side swept the parked cars. I managed to wrangle it with a little more torque and straightened up in the middle of the street.

The cars pursuing me had similar problems, though they also managed to avoid collisions. What the fuck was going on with my car? The GPS came online and I watched my distance from my destination. I needed to keep to snow-covered, abandoned roads while the trap was being made ready, but I also needed to stay close, so I could get there as soon as possible.

My next turn was infuriatingly poorly executed by the Interceptor and I shifted into third coming out of it. I drove a fair distance away, leaving my pursuit floundering over the frozen streets. I stopped and undid my straps. I got out and took a quick look at my car. I immediately spotted the problem. The asshats had slashed all my tires. And their headlights were already here.

"Fuck!"

I jumped back into the car and drove off, keeping them close and keeping to the snow-covered streets. My tires were runflats, but they were only good for sixty miles of no air. There was no way I could change them in mid-pursuit and I didn't want to spend my power to fix them. I was going to need every ounce of it soon. As long as we kept to the snow-covered streets, we were slow and covering little distance.

I did up my seatbelts and was soon driving with one hand on the wheel and the other propping my forehead against the window. In the history of life-and-death car chases, this had to be the most boring one. For the next ten minutes, I drove in slow circles, while they chased after me, their cars floundering frequently. Twice, they split up and had the second car try and T-bone me from a side street. Twice, I let them come within striking distance before engaging the nitrous and making them fail miserably.

I was quite amazed that they didn't just give up, already. During the chase, I had managed to finish getting dressed. I even put on a pair of socks. It's amazing what a petite girl can get up to behind the wheel.

Then the text came. It read, "120". "Fuck, yeah," I exclaimed. I checked my GPS and selected my route. My heart pounded over the next three minutes, as I led them to their deaths. I stared at their headlights in my rear mirror and silently prayed for them to not give up. This was the home stretch, after all. I got my gun from the glove compartment and slid it into my jacket pocket. My fingers drummed on the wheel as I counted the blocks to my destination.

Finally, I simulated fucking up a handbrake turn. I only had the time to undo my seatbelts, get out and lock the car before they were upon me. The lead car, a dark sedan, tried to run me over, but only wound up slammed into the Interceptor. The second car wobbled every which way as it tried to stop. The vampires and Tuttle jumped out. I dashed inside the building. They gave chase.

I took three tight turns, making noise as I went, so they wouldn't lose my trail. I dashed across a big, dark room with a wooden floor that sounded hollow underfoot. When I heard a whole mess of footsteps stomping across the room behind me, I used my power to undo a knot I knew was there.

The curtain dropped and lights flooded the room, revealing it to be a theater stage. The four undead immediately fell to the floor. The four others paused in stunned shock. A man in a blue jacket with big capital letters that said FEMA on the back of it was looking out at a theater that was half-full of people. People that were staring at the stage behind him. People that were over one hundred and twenty in number.

A cardboard box was painted as a wardrobe to be used as part of the scenery on stage. I opened it and retrieved the sword I had hidden inside.

Maria's friend, the FEMA guy, turned around and looked at the four stunned individuals on stage. "Excuse me, if you're taking part in this drill, then I'd like you to come down from there and take your seats. Otherwise..."

The crowd gasped as one when they saw me running. I drew my blade and severed Hamilton's neck in one smooth move. Before anyone could react, I slashed the girl vamp's belly open and then chopped her head off in the next instant. The theater broke out in panicked screaming, but people were still in their seats. The boy vamp rushed at me and Tuttle raised her gun. I used my power to block her firing pin again.

The audience couldn't see me do that, nor did they have any reason to imagine there was anything wrong with the gun. From where they were frozen in their seats, it just looked like Tuttle was hesitant, or had forgotten to disengage the safety. In any case, they couldn't dispel my little intervention like their mere presence was dispelling the One-Oh-Fours' ability to cheat death.

I drew my gun and shot the boy vamp and Tuttle in the gut, knocking them both off their feet. The audience finally began to scramble for the exits. I chopped off the boy vamp's head. I swung at Tuttle's neck. My arms vibrated from the impact of my blade against something metallic she had inside her neck. My sword was stuck. Her head was still on. The audience had no reason to think she had any cyber implants inside her neck. "Shit."

I fired into the air and shouted, but the audience kept scrambling away.Not now, I thought.Not now, not when I'm this close!

"FREEZE, FBI!!"

The entire theater fell silent. I couldn't help smiling at Hernandez. You wouldn't think it possible of a girl her size, but she definitely had the pipes of an opera singer. And the authority to go with them. She stood in the doorway, blocking the way out for the panicked audience. Her blue FBI jacket seemed to have a calming effect on everyone. As did the rather large gun she was pointing at me.

I could feel the eyes turning back towards me. I kicked the boy vamp's head off the stage, eliciting another round of screams.Three down, one to go. I took another swing at Tuttle's neck, but the blade got stuck again. I could feel the scrape of metal against metal through my grip on the hilt.

Of course, just as the audience had no reason to believe I had magically mucked with her firing pin, they had no reason to believe there was any magic going on with this situation, either. I was a petite girl who had just chopped off three heads. In their eyes, I was weak, tired and there was no reason for them to think this was anything other than a blade caught on bone, or something.

"Freeze!" Maria advanced towards me, playing up her FBI role.

I held my hands up and dropped the sword and gun. I couldfeel the relief spreading through the audience. They were no longer trying to flee. Most were still looking up at the stage.

Tuttle, whose back was turned to the audience, looked up at my face and winked with a wicked smile.

I grinned right back. I used my power to move an electromagnetic gun I had assembled yesterday and attached to the rafters above the stage. The red laser dot moved across her face and settled in her hair.

Her brow twitched for a moment and then I used my power to pull the trigger. The city power grid's juice ran through the linked magnetrons, which emitted microwaves through a focusing lens I had just aimed towards her skull. The gun was hidden from the audience's view, but it was perfectly compliant with natural laws. Even if they had seen me aim it, they'd probably assume it was being done by remote control.

Tuttle's mouth fell open as her eyes rolled into the back of her head. I took another look at the audience. This was my chance. I had to make sure. I picked up my gun and put two bullets through Tuttle's head, sending pieces of her skull flying every which way. The audience screamed as one and stampeded for the door. Maria ran towards me, acting like an FBI agent. I dropped the gun again.

By the time she joined me on the stage, we were alone in the theater.

"Jesus," she said when she saw the carnage. "Are you...are you sure..."

"Yes, Maria. You'll soon be told that these four people had died recently, elsewhere. Everyone will be baffled at why their corpses had been dragged here. Remember, just don't try to offer them any explanations."

"I honestly don't think that I could, even if I tried."

The vampires and Hamilton were dead. Their heads were cut off in front of... "How many people were here?"

"When you came in, there was a hundred and seventy-six seated. There were more people in the lobby, sweeping snow off their jackets and boots."

"Well done, Maria. This was well done." The One-Oh-Fours were gone.

"Wasn't my doing," she said, tilting her head to indicate her FEMA friend, who had escaped with the rest of the audience.

I looked at Tuttle again. Her blood stopped flowing from her throat and I could see her breathing calmly. "Oh, for fuck's sake!"

Maria leaned in and her jaw dropped. "That's not possible." She leaned in some more and peeked through the gaping hole in Tuttle's skull. "No, it's ok. Her body's going on without her brain. I've heard about this happening. She'll be dead in a few hours."

"No, she won't. Her cyber upgrades are going to fix her with magic. Fuck! So close!"

"What do we do now?"

"We don't do anything. You'll stay here and clean this mess up. Fire a few shots at the walls as if you had tried to stop me from running, but missed. I'm taking this thing with me to figure out a way to destroy it, once and for all."

I picked up my gun and stuck it in my jacket pocket. I used my power to float Tuttle's body after me as I ran out.

"Good luck," Maria called after me, "and goodbye!"

I stopped backstage and yelled out. "This isn't over yet! It won't be over until we get the bastard that started it all! The search for Andrea Watkins' possessed corpse is still on!"

"I understand."

I left. I heard her shooting inside. I loaded Tuttle's body into the back seat and drove off. "What the fuck am I gonna do with you, bitch?"

I was halfway out of the city when the car's shoddy handling reminded me I still needed four new tires. In the middle of a snowstorm. "Fuckity fuck."

***

Being on campus again felt weird. It had been a year since I had last walked these grounds, but considering all the stuff that had happened in the last few months, it might as well have been a lifetime since I had been my old self.

I stood in front of the library, sipping hot tea to keep myself warm. The day looked nice, the sun was out and everything, but that only made it colder. Piles of snow had been pushed to the sides to clear walking paths for students. A group walked towards the library and I found myself envying them. All they did was party, study and then party some more. The people they were meeting here would be with them for their whole lives, either as colleagues, spouses, or just the best of friends. They were all going to have great careers and wonderful lives and here I was, hunting bad guys with no idea of what comes after that.

I had visited a casino the day after killing Susan and the vamps and walked out with a big bag of cash I needed. Why shouldn't I use some of my money to clear my debts and resume my own studies? More cash was just a casino visit away.

My target came out of the library and walked on his usual path to the robotics laboratory. I fell into step right behind him. "Hello, Hass."

He froze and then slowly turned around to face me. His lips drew into a grimace. "Hey, Kev."

I took another sip of my tea as I just stared at him.

"Saw you on TV," he said and smiled. "I couldn't believe it was you, man. You looked so good." He gestured at me. "I mean, you look so good right now. You know, people were saying you looked like you were pregnant with a humpback whale, or an elephant, or something, but look at you, man. You're slender and shit."

I weighed in at barely two hundred and ten pounds. I was eating as fast as my stomach could handle it, but it was slow going, all the same. The cold wasn't helping my weight gain, either. "Thanks," I said. "Tell me, is that fuzz on your lip convincing anyone you're male, yet?"

He chuckled and then grew serious. "I'm so sorry about your parents, man. That shit sounded fucked up."

"It was."

We stood silent for a few more moments. He was almost beginning to squirm. That was right the way I wanted him to be. I cleared my throat. "So, how's the cleric business going?"

He grinned with relief at the change of topic. "Oh, man, being the party cleric has been a fucking nightmare since you left. You were, like, the voice of reason that kept everyone else from going all Leeroy Jenkins all the time. Nowadays, we start each adventure with a Rod of Resurrection. With ten freakin' charges, man! And we burn through them in, like, three weekends of play! Unless, of course, we get TPKed, first."

"Of course."

"Usually, it's Mark's fault, cause he just barges into the fray and leaves the casters exposed. Or, it's Nick's fault, cause he casts lightning bolt at the first bad guy he sees, without checking if there was a reflective, metal surface right behind them. A lot of times, it's Sally's fault, cause she charged at a bunch of Orcs, instead of backstabbing them. Hell, even I fucked up a couple of times."

"How's life treating you outside the glorious pages of the D&D manuals?"