All Comments on 'Brad & Sylvie'

good but you need to keep track of your story you said they were skinny dipping yet when they go inside they have to undress if they took off thier bathing suits to swim why would they put thier clothes on to go inside and have sex this needs a rewrite and an editor

Why bother forcing the awkward and unbelievable B/S wrinkle at the end? It was an okay ordinary story then you forced the ending. It added nothing. You might as well have tacked on a sentence to say they were both vampires or some other random twist. After the fact, it adds nothing but a WTF reaction from any normal reader.

agree about the clothes part and also think he would have brought up thier being siblings BEFORE THEY HAD SEX not after. get a good editor and do a rewrite on all your stories and you have been around long enough to know you need to use one.

I was happily reading about them skinny dipping but when they got to the bedroom she reached for his belt buckle so when did he dress?

Love your stories so keep writing them.

if i could give you a negative 200 i would you totally fucked up the story. as said by others WHY didn't he tell her about being siblings BEFORE they had sex? why did they have to undress after skinny dipping? why didn't the parents say something when they started to get close? the parents should have had brains enough to sit them down and tell them the truth long before this happened. do a rewrite using a good editor and fix your screwups and add the needed details, background and character development as is it sucks.

i gave it 5 stars - like all your stories. this is not your best - a little short, limited tease, but a clever idea. thanks

As I read through this authors stories I see one thing, the stories always stop before that happily ever after comes about. Still gets my 5-star vote.