by AltheaRose
Loved the characters and conversations. Marnie's discomfort and confusion added depth to the story, and her friends were both sensitive and caring. It's easy to write sex; writing relationships is harder, and I think you've done a wonderful job here.
It's been too long since we had a new story. This one sizzles. As always great characters facing interesting challenges. You handle the real complexities of life and sex better than anyone. Don't keep us waiting too long for the next chapter. Thank you for sharing your wonderful mind with us.
Althea is back and all is right with the world. No one writes as true to life as you do. You have the amazing gift of blending a true to life story with some of the hottest sex imaginable. The Queen of Erotica is back!!
Hawk & Honey
Wonderful story! I loved all of the characters and the believable development of the plot. Can't wait for the follow up!
Wonderful, wonderful , wonderful !!!! Can't wait for more of the story. I consider myself straight, but after reading your story, I;m not so sure. Maybe someday I will get lucky and find out??
Very well told I think. Kept my interest all the way through. Can't wait for the rest of the story.
More please! Good characters, nice story, well written. I will check back every day.
That was fantastic. Really didn't let me down and kept me captivated throughout the whole thing. I love the parts with Kimberly and can't wait to read more about her and the rest of the strory!
this is an amazing story and I am waiting for this to become an amazing very very very long series.
Amazing story. You have writing talent. Great insight as well. Please keep writing
Your submissions are always so good. You are one of my favorite authors. Thank you for this lovely story, I can't wait to read more.
A.R., it's impossible for you to write anything but a 5-star story! Well written! Erotic! Fabulous! As a male, I could not help but get aroused at the mere prospect of woman-woman sex! I could never imagining having anything but that reaction. And the way you write makes me believe I'm there in the living room and then the spare bedroom watching them bring each other to ecstasy. Looking forward to the rest of this tale! In my own mind, I'll be Cory! Can't wait! Welcome back! Thanks for writing again.
All the compliments below are completely deserved.
On the story onward a little observation, if I may: I think that Stephanie would be very jealous of the fact that the first woman to sleep with Marnie was Kimberly and not herself, seeing how much thought she had given to a 1 on 1 session, prior the three way request.
On a romantic level, I hope Marnie and Kimberly can have a future in some form, a night stand, for as erotic as it was depicted, doesn't seem to do them justice.
And this one is a clear winner! Characters we can't help loving, situations well and clearly explained, real, believable conditions and people. What's not to love?
Thanks for the opportunity to participate. I could never do what you do.
Gary13
Thank you AltheaRose. Thank you.
I don't give '5s' however you fully deserve it. What an excellent story and one can feel the characters.
Really enjoy your stories. This one is no exception. Thank you very much. 5 stars.
Your buildup has matured and I am looking forward to the next submission. I'm jealous in that I have not the talent that you are showing. Keep up the good work Althea. Love it!!
reading the work of AltheaRose. The set up here, developing characters with a back story and believable development, works so well. The sex is well paced, able to maintain interest and convey the emotions without becoming excessively anatomical. This is thoroughly enjoyable.
Althea,
You were missed, and I'm glad you're back in good form with this new storyline. Yes, I look forward to seeing your charactors develop further. Part two Please!
So well written and set up,a seduction that took years to reach a peak, a seduction that is so real and honest almost like you yourself had this experiance
Great buildup, great seduction. Nearly perfect!
What a great story. A wonderful plot line and told so very well. Fabulous sex. I loved it. Definitely 5 Stars!
Great buildup throughout the story giving a satisfying chapter ending while building anticipation for the next chapter. The pacing and dialog really helped pull me into the story.
I am always amazed at how some authors manage to get such strong emotional feelings into words. Great job.
A great story. Excellent plot lines and you had me laughing out loud at some of the dialog. Can't wait to read the next chapter.
Greatly enjoyed your story, especially the skill of your detail from sitting on the couch to the more intimate enjoyments. As a male wanting to learn more about the enjoyments of pleasing my partner, this Rookie could well become an MVP. Thanks, Pirate49
Fantastic storytelling. Could feel her reluctamce as I think most people know someone like this. Gret stuff
I liked your story very much. Enjoyed the character development. The evolution of her attitude toward her friend was very plausible and thought provoking. My wife will enjoy this one and should lead to some interesting conversation and even more interesting sex. Thanks!
Excellent story. Well written, believable characters with a “story” !
Althea,
I really loved this story! It was good beyond desription, and had me yearning to be there with the two of you!
Thank you for such a lovely sexciting tale!
Jan
Now that Marnie has had a taste of Kimberly, she's got to give the threesome she's been considering a try. Great story--great characters--great plot. Can't wait to read Chapter 2.
I just reread it and liked it as much as the first time. You really paint a clear picture of Marnie, Kimberly, and Stephanie. Marnie is really a tiger in a cage of her own creation. Now she is letting the real Marnie out.
I really cared about the characters, so much that I was really happy for both Marnie and Kimberly at the end of this chapter. Well done.
Let me get my one big criticism out of the way first. A lot of the Marnie/Steph and Marnie/Kimberly dialogue scenes felt stiff and clinical whenever the subject of sex came up. To me, it occasionally felt like the ladies were reciting blog posts about alternative sexual lifestyles instead of just having frank, personal conversations. A couple of specific things that don't help: not using contractions in your dialogue ("I'm so happy" sounds more natural to me, for instance, than "I am so happy," though that could probably be a personal thing) and Kimberly's character trait of trying not to swear. I get what you were going for; it shows growth from who she was as Chain to who she is now, and that's part of what makes your story so good. But I think it backfires a little bit when Kimberly says "I want to see you orgasm" instead of, say, "Let me see you come," and it feeds into the dialogue's overly formal approach to sex.
That said, everything else worked out great. Dialogue issues aside, you did an excellent job drawing these characters, establishing unique voices for them, and defining their relationships to each other, which made their hookups that much hotter. I also love how you ramped up to the sex—something I plan to study since establishing and building that mutual attraction can sometimes feel like an afterthought in my own work (typical guy problem I suppose)—and the actual payoff was satisfying as hell.
Can't wait to read the second part, though I can't help but feel pre-disappointed because I don't see how it can involve Kimberly/Chain and I maybe kinda fell in love with her a little bit.
As I read it, I thought that the descriptions of the 3 distinct and defining personalities of Marnie, Chain, and Stephanie while in college, plus especially the way Steph gave the wonderful psychological analysis that enabled Marnie to understand and start being a friend to her roommate -- this alone was worth reading the story for.
All this was told with remarkable dialog (in contrast to stories where I've gotten a short way in and realized it was being told by narration without any dialog, prompting me to abandon the story).
Obvious storytelling skill with no language problems (such as misspellings or grammar errors). Maybe it helps to have 3 editors.
Paul in Oklahoma
Great writing AltheaRose! I'll be looking for the continuation. I enjoyed getting to know the characters as well as Marnie's awakening.
Very well written the story held my interest and can't wait for more. The characters have a substance which I would like to know more about.
Fan-fucking fantastic. I’ll gladly put $5 in her swearing jar. More please!
So hot AnteaRose! I am still rock hard as I write this. Going straight to part 2 where I know I will not be disappointed!
Very much enjoyed this story. I think you are a very talented writer. Thanks for sharing with us.
Such a complete story, and then I'm certain there will be more, and it will be just as good.
BRAVE NEW WORLD
Section 2
Marnie's free hand moved between us and took hold of my right breast.
Should this read Steph’s hand?
Enjoyed your story.
This was a superb story, superbly written. The writers sensitivity to and knowledge of human sexuality is breathtaking. I can only guess that such insight does not come from anything other than personal experience. Brava!