Breakfast in Bed

Everyone has a friend like Allie.

No one deserves one, mind you, but we've all got one. Always canceling plans at the last minute, always making everything about herself, the roommate who not only eats your cereal but doesn't even close the box when she's done, and of course she's mystified at just why she has so many former friends. You know the type as well as I do. And I knew it about her long before she married Jeremy - back when the three of us were inseparable friends and nothing more.

Yes, yes, I know: why were we still friends if I knew that so well about her? I could toss out all sorts of cliches here - sorority sisters are forever, "she does have redeeming qualities", thinking she would change after college, or some silly anecdote about sharing her sandwich with me once on a trip where I forgot my lunch - and every last one of them would hold some water. But, really, a decade out of college and old enough now to know better, it's got to be something bigger than that, hasn't it?

Yes, it's got to be, and yes, it is. We'll get to that!

Neither Allie nor that big reason were on my mind that morning, when I woke up wearing last night's makeup in my third-floor downtown walk-up. Feeling once again like the lucky single lady I am, I ambled off to the bathroom and enjoyed a long shower and wondered what I ought to do with my day off. It was a bright autumn day out there, no one to meet and my last boyfriend gone long enough for me to think of looking for someone new, and I had a stack of paperbacks I hadn't yet devoured. By the time I turned off the water, it was settled. Put on something pretty and it'd be off to the coffeeshop for some reading and seeing and maybe being seen.

I couldn't remember the last time I'd worn the blue and green print dress I chose, but I figured it would stand out a bit against the earth tones of the season without looking too outrageous. I had it laid out beside me on the bed and was pulling my black stockings on when I heard his rap at the door. "Sarah?"

"Jeremy?" I stood up and grabbed up the dress, and wondered just what Allie had done to him now.

"Yes, can I come in?" He was trying, but the anguish in his voice was unmissable - or at least for me it was.

"Of course! I'll be right there." As I pulled the dress on and zipped it up and gave myself a very quick once-over in the mirror on the bedroom door, I told myself the same thing I told myself every time Jeremy came by.

It's wrong. Don't do it. Don't even let him in.

But as usual, there was no sense in even trying to convince myself.

Why was I still friends with Allie? One word: Jeremy. Call us Betty and Veronica if you want, but it was more complicated than that.

Eleven years ago he'd chosen her, and in retrospect I was not surprised. Smart is sexy, I guess, and Allie was top ten in our class and she did look undeniably cute with her thick glasses and her ever-preppy clothes. Her nerdy appearance never betrayed what an absolute genius she was at manipulating guys, either. "They lap up emotional intimacy like you couldn't imagine, Sarah," she'd explained to me right after she and Jeremy had become official. "You treat him like just one of the girls for one rainy afternoon somewhere and he'll be putty in your hands. Maybe I shouldn't have duped Jer into falling for me like that, but I did give him three years to do it on his own."

I had done my best to be a gracious loser. I knew then and now how logic didn't apply when you were in love, and that there was nothing I could do to help Jeremy until he saw Allie's true colors. I'd promised myself way back then that on that inevitable day, I would be there for my old friend in his hour of need.

Let's just say, I had since kept that promise and then some.

All that was in the back of my mind as I rushed through the kitchen to answer the door. What was at the front of my mind? What do you think?

I flung the door open, but Jeremy lingered on the doorstep. Just as I'd anticipated, he looked as pathetic as he sounded, almost like he was afraid of me. His eyes were red and damp, and his freshly-shaven cheeks were flushed. "I'm sorry, Sarah, I didn't know where else to go at this hour," he said, still making no move to come in even as I was holding the door wide open for him.

"Don't be ridiculous, Jeremy, you know you're welcome here!" I reached out a hand to pull him inside and took him in my arms, leaving the door open for the moment. "Come on in. You can dry the tears on my dress." And to my delight, he did just that. "She's hurt you again, I can tell," I said, stroking his hair with one hand.

"It's never going to stop, is it?" he said.

"No, it isn't!" I admitted. "She's always been a malcontent and she's always been selfish, you know that. Do I even want to know what it was this time?"

"Probably not," he sniffled. "Well, then again, maybe you do. I'm not sure. What I mean is - oh, I really shouldn't have come here at all, we both know that, but..."

"Don't be shy, Jeremy," I said. "You've been here before. Listen, I was just about to make breakfast anyway. Go take your shoes off and lie down, and tell me or don't tell me when you're ready." I reluctantly let him go, and shut and locked the door. "No one needs to know you've come here again, all right?"

"If you're sure, Sarah."

"Don't I sound sure?"

He nodded, and I caught the first glimpse of a smile on his face as he kicked his shoes off and headed for the bedroom.

It was a mad dash to scramble the eggs and grill the bread and mix the muesli and chopped apples in with the strawberry yogurt, but it was a labor of love. I could feel the electricity right out to my fingertips as I spooned the coffee into the French press and waited for the water to boil. I felt a lot like I just might boil, too. Every time Jeremy came here might well be the last, after all. Or it might be the time he finally figured out it was never going to get better with Allie, and just maybe we wouldn't have to hide anything anymore! I had learned not to get my hopes up about that. But nothing could tamp down my hopes for what was to happen after breakfast!

As I picked up the tray to carry it into the bedroom in my stocking feet, I got an idea. I set the tray back down and reached under my dress and pulled my panties off.

They were as wet as the dew outside. But we've all got to eat.

I was hoping Jeremy might have taken the liberty of undressing and getting under the covers. But the smile on his face as I carried the tray in was a more than welcome concession prize. "Oh, that looks wonderful, Sarah," he said as I set the tray down beside him and then climbed onto the bed. He leaned over and kissed me, and then stammered, "I...uh..."

"You don't have to say you love me," I said as I poured us both some coffee.

"I do. But thanks."

"Now then," I said as I spooned out some yogurt for each of us, "If you want to talk about it..."

"I'm surprised Allie didn't tell you already," Jeremy said. "We had..." He stopped for a sip of coffee, but I could tell he was still working up the courage to say whatever it was. Closing his eyes as he swallowed, he finally got it out. "We had a pregnancy scare."

"A scare?" I asked. "Don't you want kids?"

"I did," he said. "Past tense. Did. First of all we can't afford it until we pay off our student loans and that's a few years off yet, and besides...what if it's a boy? Can you even imagine Allie raising a son?"

"She'd turn him into the worst sort of misogynist pig," I agreed. "But I take it that's not what the fight was about?"

Jeremy shook his head as he swallowed his latest bite. "No, she didn't want it now any more than I did, that's right."

"But she found some excuse to be upset with you when you found out she wasn't pregnant, didn't she?"

"No, she found some excuse not to even tell me."

"What?" Even for Allie, that sounded selfish.

"Sarah, here I've been sweating bullets all week, barely able to concentrate on anything, wondering what we're going to do, and this morning she complained because I woke up too early. 'Don't you know it's Saturday, honey?'"

"She didn't know why you weren't sleeping well?"

"Right, she didn't," Jeremy went on. "So I told her, look, it's just that I'm so scared about you-know-what, and she says, 'Oh, I got my period three days ago,' just as casual as if she were reading the weather report!"

"That's horrible! She never even thought you'd want to know?"

"That's what I told her! I mean not 'that's horrible', although I did think it." He paused and laughed for the first time, and seeing it was all right, I joined in. "I mean, I asked, didn't you think I'd want to know? And you know what she said? I'll bet you can guess."

"Well, it's not you who would've been pregnant?" I guessed.

He nodded. "Almost down to the word. Then of course she had to throw in, 'You were probably looking forward to walking down the street with me looking like a balloon, saying to guys, hey, look what I did!' I can't believe after all this time she still thinks I'm that kind of guy." He dissolved into tears again.

"She thinks all guys are that kind of guy," I reminded him. "No offense, but I could've told you that years ago."

"Why didn't you, Sarah?"

"I've been in love before and I know, women and men alike, when we're in love, we don't listen to reason." I picked up my coffee mug. "Now, let's toast your good fortune. You won't be raising a kid in her house."

"I'll drink to that." And his smile was back as we clinked mugs and drank up. It occurred to me too late that I could have put some amaretto or scotch in the coffee. But then it was clear I wouldn't need alcohol to charm him out of his clothes this morning.

We ate in companionable silence for a few minutes. When he'd scraped the last of his share of the yogurt from the bowl, he set it down on the tray and sat up as if to leave. "Sarah, thanks. Can't tell you how much I appreciate this."

"Perhaps you can't tell me," I said with a grin, curling into my most flirtatious pose. "But you know, you can definitely show me."

He gave me that look I had come to know so well - half lust, half 'you know we shouldn't'. He said nothing, but also didn't stand up.

"What's your hurry?" I sat up and set the tray carefully on the floor. "Please don't eat and run, Jeremy."

"She'll get suspicious." But he did lay back down.

"You can let her wait, my darling. It's been too long!"

"It has, hasn't it?"

"We both know you didn't only come here for breakfast." I gripped lightly at my skirt with both hands and slowly, seductively pulled it all the way up around my waist.

Jeremy's gaze was just as quietly appreciative as it had been the first time we'd given Allie what she deserved, and every time since. As I spread my legs wide, I was sure he'd ask me the same thing he had all those other times - Are you sure, Sarah?

And I was sure. But this time he didn't ask.

He also didn't set about awkwardly taking his clothes off like he usually did. I'd been looking forward to that show, and was a little disappointed - until I realized what he was up to.

We'd been together several times, but he'd never gone down on me before. Now, before I even quite knew what was happening, he did. As he grabbed at my ankles and nibbled at my inner thighs, I felt delicious flutters of naughty joy even before his teasing got anywhere near my pussy. "Oh, Jeremy!" I squealed. If anticipation is half the fun, he gave me all the fun just with his teasing, his stubbly cheeks and gentle lips and tongue playing all over my legs while I grew ever so wet.

His lips finally got to the very edge of mine, and just as I thought I was in for a wonderfully satisfying lick on my clit, he continued his teasing around the edges of my triangle. "Oof, Jer, you're such a teaser!" I squealed, though his kisses on my skin and his chin brushing through my bush felt wonderful. He only laughed a bit and went on nibbling and licking all around my sweet spot but never on it. Feeling more sweetly frustrated by the second, I started thrusting my hips, searching for something to rub my hungry lips against.

"Oh, Sarah..." Jeremy stopped his teasing and pulled back, and I was utterly aware of my oldest friend's husband gazing at my vagina like it was a fine work of art. I laughed a bit at the absurdity of it all, and did my best not to think of how utterly frustrated he had me.

At last he dove in, and I let out a wonderfully cathartic moan as I felt his tongue inside me, probably as far as it could reach. He still had my ankles in his grip, so I reached down and pulled my thighs as far apart as I could. I closed my eyes and saw beautiful prisms dancing across the dark as he flicked his tongue all around.

I don't know how long it went on. I couldn't tell you when he worked his way up to my clit, though I was aware of him slipping his fingers inside me at the same time. I do know how many fingers: two. Jeremy knew what I liked.

And I liked it. Oh, how I liked it! As I wriggled in pleasure and moaned so loudly I was surprised I didn't rattle the pictures on the walls, I could only hope he got a fraction of the joy he was making me feel. When I felt my orgasm coming, I thrust my hips up again so his lips and tongue were just a little bit heavier. It was just what I needed, and I came with a roar. As I did, Jeremy's fingers froze, still inside me, and he locked his lips onto my clit and gave it a very long last kiss.

"Thank you!" I could barely get the words out as I reached down and ruffled his hair playfully.

"I miss that," he said.

"How can you miss it when you've never done it before?"

"Well, I haven't done it to you before. I haven't had the chance to do it to anyone in...a while."

We had an unspoken but ironclad rule against talking about Allie during sex. Since Jeremy was busy giving me that striptease I'd missed out on before, I concluded this counted as "during sex", and I said nothing. Somehow I wasn't surprised Allie wouldn't let him go down on her.

"That's a sight for sore eyes," I said as he pulled off his t-shirt, the last thing he was wearing. Of course he was hard and it was pointing enticingly at me, and I didn't even try to look him in the eye as I said it.

"You want to keep your dress on?" he asked.

"Oh!" I laughed and gathered my hair up, and presented my back for him to unzip it. "Heavens, no. Someone got me all sweaty in it!"

"You'll just have to teach that guy a lesson, won't you?" he said as he unzipped it. I lost no time in shrugging it off, and as I stood up to let it slip to the floor, I also made fast work of my bra. I was in no mood to waste any time after such a wonderful start!

As I stood utterly naked for a moment before him, I could see my own memories reflected in his eyes - the just-friends we had been for so long, and were apparently destined to remain forevermore in public. But he had me much too worked up to be sentimental for long, and I climbed onto the bed and onto him.

After the magical first act, taking him inside me was effortless. The very first time we'd done it, a few years before, that first moment had found us gazing at each other in silent amazement at the taboo we'd just broken. Whether out of habit or lingering shame or something else entirely, it still happened every time. So there I sat, looking down into his eyes as I thrilled to his presence deep inside me, and oh how I wished it could be like this all the time!

"I know it's wrong, Sarah..."

"Never mind that!" Snapped out of my reverie, I went to town on humping him like the madwoman I might as well have been right then. My breasts jiggled this way and that, but I didn't mind as I knew he'd be fondling them before long. Sure enough, within a minute he was rubbing them and teasing my nipples just the way I liked best. I returned the favor by running my nails up and down his chest the way he'd shown me on our first time.

"Gonna come!" I squealed as I grew close. He'd always assured me he loved it when I said so, and now I saw why - or rather felt why. The words were barely out of my mouth before I felt his thumbs ruffling through my bush again. His right one found my clit first, and helped me along into the most intense orgasm I'd ever yet had with him. "Omygooooooddddddddd!" I screeched until I was out of breath. When I finally caught my breath and opened my eyes, I saw he was looking almost frightened. I couldn't help laughing.

"Sarah, that was..."

"Sorry, Jer!" I was still laughing. "The look on your face...hope I didn't scare you!"

"Scare isn't the word!"

"Good." I slipped off and lay back beside him. "Now let's get you off already."

I can't usually come with the man on top, but it's the only way Jeremy could ever get off, and more than once he'd brought me along one last time as well. As he climbed on top and I guided him inside me with both hands, somehow I was sure this was going to be another one of those times.

I was right. As soon as he started flailing away at me in the fast but somehow gentle rhythm I loved so, I could feel the happy ending building up from somewhere even deeper inside me than he was at that beautiful moment. I slapped him playfully on the hip to egg him on. "Come on! Do it! Give it to me!"

"You know I will!" he grunted, his concentration so intense he could barely get it out.

I always enjoyed the sight of him bobbing up and down just above me so much I scarcely cared if I came again. Maybe that's why I always did. In any event, now I got to see it in broad daylight - his eyes gazing down into mine, his body rigid as he flailed away at me...it was all such a lovely show I was only just aware of the string of deliciously profane encouragements coming out of my mouth.

What I was fully aware of was that little tickle that erupted somewhere deep within, and promptly flared out to take control of every inch of my body before I even knew it. "OhhhhhJerrrrrrrrrrr!" I shrieked.

It was still raging when he came as well. When he came to a stop deep inside me, my eyes flew open to see his mouth gaping at he stared at me.

"Oh, that's beautiful!" I cooed. As his orgasm passed, he relaxed and lay down on top of me, and I hugged him tightly. For a glorious, silent and fleeting moment, we were all that mattered.

I don't know which of us started crying first, but soon we were both in tears.

"I know it's wrong."

"Me too, but she asked for it!"

"She always does!"

"And this just feels too right."

"Couldn't agree more."

I had to get a hold of myself in a hurry when the phone rang. We both looked at it and saw the last name either of us wanted to see right then. It would be worse if I didn't answer, I reasoned, and I picked it up. "Hi, Allie."

"Sarah. Have you heard from Jeremy?"

"Jeremy? Why, what happened?"

"Oh, he went all Mister Sensitive on me this morning, just because I knew he'd be the clueless male he is about something. I just want to tell him I forgive him already, but I don't know where he's gone off to."

"Doesn't he always?" I did my best to sound like I meant it.

"Don't give me that, Sarah, you always take his side. And you know, you didn't say whether you'd seen him or not. Have you?"

"Allie, what do you think I am?"

"Oh, I could care less what you do with your free time, but...oh, forget it. Look, if he does come by your place, could you tell him I forgive him?"

"Of course I could, Allie. But tell me, do you need him to forgive you as well?"

"That's none of your business!"

"And it's none of yours if he comes here, is it?"

She sighed. "Just tell him to get over it and get his butt home already, would you?"

"If I see him."

"If you see him." She hung up.