Breaking Point

"All right, but you can't repeat any of this," I said, admonishing her when I didn't need to. She would never have ratted me out.

"Like who am I going to tell? Odette?" I already know enough of your secrets to end your career. Like your affair with Lily."

She had me there. I did have an affair with the biggest drug dealer in the West End and my partner knew it. It was her ace in the hole, and she played it every time we argued.

"All right," I said. "You know the warehouse you found me at?"

"Yeah."

"It's owned by Jim Landry."

"You mean the big car dealer?"

"Yeah..."

"You mean Courtney's dad?"

"Uh huh," I acknowledged.

Courtney Landry was one of my ex-girlfriends, young and promiscuous. I dated her on and off for over a year. I hadn't heard from her in a month of Sundays. I heard she was in Southern France, living off her father's wealth and fucking as many French women as she could lay her hot little hands on.

"So did Homicide interview Jim Landry last night?" Lesley asked.

"I heard he denied everything. Said the Russian broke into the warehouse, even though there wasn't any evidence of forced entry," I told her. I didn't believe his story.

"I smell a rat," my partner said, tapping her nose with her finger. I helped her develop her good sense of smell.

"A big one," I said in agreement. "We've got unfinished business with that dude."

We finished cleaning out the car. I threw my gear into the trunk and began telling my story of what happened. "So I got a tip that Kreshnevsky was at this warehouse, but I was suspicious."

"Why?" Lesley asked.

"Because it was too easy. He was a professional killer. He made his presence known because he wanted it known. I figured it was a trap and I told that to Sky."

"And she went anyway."

"Right. She was trying to make her bones with Homicide, and figured she'd be the one to snag him."

"No shit. Stupid girl," Lesley said correctly.

"Like you were when you ran after me and got shot," I said, recounting Lesley's almost fatal mistake when we were chasing a cop killer. She disobeyed a direct order from me and followed me instead of staying in a back-up position. She got shot, but luckily she recovered.

"Uh right," Lesley said sheepishly. She needed to be humbled. We all needed to be humbled from time to time. You needed those reminders so you didn't end up on the wrong side of a bullet.

"Anyway, I figured it out and chased after her. The warehouse was almost pitch black because the lights were turned off, and she was being stalked by Kreshnevsky, who was wearing night vision goggles. He cornered her and was about to finish her off with his KRh-12, you know that Russian made handgun that uses.50 caliber rounds. I hit the light switch and temporarily blinded him. I winged him in the shoulder."

I stopped there, hoping she'd be satisfied. She wasn't.

"And then?" she asked.

"I shot him in the head."

"He was going for Sky, after you just wounded him?"

She was there. She saw the shoulder wound was serious.

"That's what I'm going to tell the review panel."

Lesley could smell bullshit.

"What really happened?"

"That's what happened," I insisted.

"Rrright..." Lesley said skeptically. She knew when I was lying. I was a terrible liar. "Maybe you'll tell me sometime when you're drunk."

"Really drunk," I said.

I'm sure she figured out what really happened. She'd keep my secret too.

"So what next partner? You've killed Kreshnevsky, so anything he knew died with him."

"Not everything," I said.

"Like what?"

"He said 'Barkov'."

"Before or after he had his face blown off?" Lesley asked, pinning me.

"Before?" I answered.

Lesley knew Kreshnevsky wouldn't talk without major coercion.

"Max, your story makes no sense."

Lesley had cornered me.

"The Barkov clue is just between me and you, right?" I asked her.

She rolled her eyes at me. "C'mon Max. I'm your partner."

"Good," I replied. "It's not going to be in my report."

"Barkov... that's it?" Lesley asked, making sure she heard me right.

"That's it."

"Sounds like a Russian name. Want me to run it through the database?" Lesley asked.

"Let's start there. I've got a lot of paperwork to catch up on and then I'll go to Nicky's to pick up some lunch. We'll head out after lunch. Usual for you?"

"Uh huh."

I left quickly, before the little minx could continue her interrogation. She knew more than she needed to.

* * *

Nicky's Diner was my hangout when I was going to high school. Then it was called Flores's Diner before Gustav Flores passed away and left it to his daughter. Nicky was a prom queen in high school, and although she hadn't kept her trim figure, she still had dark, shiny hair, and a radiant face with a personality to match.

Since Nicky took the diner over, she introduced her family's fried chicken recipe, which soon became the staple for many Cincinnatians. Nicky was a bit older than me, but one of my closest buddies, and now even closer with the recent death of my best friend Maddy Bailey.

It was the middle of the lunch rush and there was a line snaking out the door and down the sidewalk. I squeezed past the line and into the dining room. One of the privileges that came from saving Nicky from paying extortion to a local Vietnamese gang. Nicky was manning the cash register when I came in, running through a couple credit cards. She gave me a broad smile as she was tearing off receipts. It was nice to see that Nicky's hard work had paid off and that the diner was a success.

"That was a nice service for Maddy," she said to me, swiping a credit card across a magnetic reader. We hadn't seen each other since Maddy's funeral.

I stood next to the register and rested my hand on the counter. "It was. We must get together at Bailey's and toast her together. I haven't had time to grieve for her properly, you know with the Sky thing and all..."

Nicky stopped what she was doing and made sure her eyes were on me. "I heard... that was terrible."

A lot of guys at the station frequented Nicky's. She knew everything that was going on there so I wasn't surprised that she heard about the shootout.

"So how's Sky?" she asked.

"Getting better," I answered. "She'll get past it."

She gave me "the look." "Max, nobody gets past something like that. You just learn to live with it."

She got me there. "True, but's she's tough and I'm sure she's going to want to prove that."

"That's more like it," she said. "Just make sure she doesn't get into that kind of trouble again."

"Will do boss. Now about tonight?" I asked.

Nicky wiped her hands on her apron and pulled out her phone. "Hmm... I get off at six. Alessandra's handling the front of the house tonight. She's got an assistant she's training to run the kitchen when she's not around. Yeah, that works. Meet you there like 8 or 9?"

"Let's do 8," I said.

"So two fried chicken sandwiches for you and Lesley?"

It was always the same order for me.

"Yep."

"Coming right up."

Thank God Nicky was still with me. Now that I'd lost Maddy, I'd truly be a ship lost at sea without Nicky.

* * *

Lesley and I were munching on fried chicken sandwiches in the breakroom. Lesley had done a bit of research while I was gone and gave me a report.

"Barkov... I didn't get any hits in the database. There're two people in Cincinnati that have that last name. A chemical engineer and an accountant. That's it."

She sounded discouraged. But it was just her first cut.

"What about businesses? Why don't you search all the businesses in Cincinnati?" I suggested. It had to mean something.

"I'll do that after lunch," she said cheerily. At least she had something more to go on.

"I'm going to Bailey's tonight," I announced. I used to hang out all the time at the popular watering hole because it was owned by my best friend Maddy Bailey. After her death her younger sister Candy took over. I was good friends with Candy (even intimate at one time), but it was still painful going there as the wound from Maddy's loss was still fresh.

"With Nicky?" Lesley asked. She knew I was still heartbroken over Maddy's death. I was sure she was happy to hear that I could face going to Bailey's again.

"Uh huh," I answered.

"Alessandra's working tonight," Lesley said.

"I know, Nicky told me."

"I might be free. Mind if I join you?"

"I'd love it. Sky might come," I said casually.

Lesley jumped on my comment. "You guys back together?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Not really, but you never know."

"Max... you've broken the poor girl's heart once already..." Lesley said, gratuitously reminding me of one of my past sins. She knew every painstaking detail of my relationship, and then break-up with Sky.

"I know... I know... it's not like I haven't warned her," I said. I was already feeling defensive.

"Love's a fickle thing Max. Nothing about it makes sense. Does she still love you?"

"She says she does."

"Then she does."

"What should I do?" I asked her, showing the real doubt I'd been harboring. Just talking about it made me wonder if I could honor my promise to change.

Lesley tried to be supportive.

"Why don't you see how it plays out. In matters of the heart, there's usually no roadmap."

"Roadmap?" I said skeptically. "I'm not sure there's even a road. I seem to hit boulders whichever direction I take."

Chapter Two

Mending Fences

Just one more, I told myself. I was brooding in my room at the Royal Palms, the lights off and a bottle of vodka by my side. I'd already put on a dress and heels, ready to go to Bailey's. But I couldn't gather enough courage to leave. Ironic, I thought, that I could face a Russian assassin with a monster gun, but I couldn't face a twenty-five-year-old woman who was in love with me.

I poured myself another drink. I was a bundle of nerves. I didn't know what to say to Sky. I almost felt like poison to her. A poison she couldn't resist. Maybe another drink would give me the courage to face her.

I asked myself a question I hadn't been able to answer. If I was so in love with Sky, why did I cheat on her? And not just with anybody. One of the baddest of the bad. Lily Chao. Her occupation? Drug lord of the West End. Job description? Distributor of heroin, murder when necessary.

I won't make excuses for what I did. I did it of free will. I chose to do it. I fucked her not just once, but twice.

It was, without question, the hottest sex of my life.

Lily was drop dead gorgeous. She was about my age, middle to late 30's, Asian, probably all Chinese (but I never asked her), tall and slender. Her custom silk dresses, with matching Fendi bags and Jimmy Choo shoes, cost more than a month's salary for me. One of her bodyguards doubled as her manicurist. Her limo driver was her sexual submissive (I called Jasmine her sex slave, which drove Lily crazy). She rode around the West End in a shiny new Bentley.

How could I resist an insanely attractive cold-blooded killer on her knees in the back seat of her Bentley licking my asshole and fingering me to an orgasm while her sex slave/driver watched us fucking in the rear-view mirror?

So I screwed up my relationship with Sky over my fuck sessions with Lily.

I drank another shot of vodka and asked myself, did I intentionally sabotage my relationship with Sky? Was I so afraid of a commitment to her that I did the unthinkable? Sky had been dropping hints about marriage and having in vitro so we'd have a kid together. Was it my way of taking the coward's way out by running?

I checked my phone. I was already twenty minutes late. I felt too shaky to drive. I called a taxi. It started raining outside, a steady downpour pounding the pavement below. I pulled my jacket over my head as I left my room and felt the pelting downpour on my head. I got into the taxi, drunk, but a bundle of nerves. I was dreading this meeting. Dreading it.

"We're here ma'am," the driver said, breaking my reverie.

The taxi driver had already gotten out of the car and opened my door, standing there with rain dripping off the bill of his baseball hat. I didn't want to get out and stared blankly at him.

"Ma'am?" he asked me.

I finally snapped out of my trance. I gave him a twenty and slid out of my seat, stepped into a gutter awash in water, and almost fell forward into the soaked grassy boulevard. I straightened up, dripping wet, and had an immediate decision to make. I either bailed or went in drunk. What was it going to be? Candy and Nicky were going to be there to toast Maddy. I couldn't miss that.

My dress was drenched. I steadied myself at the front door and opened it. I cursed to myself for having decided to wear a dress with heels, something I rarely do. Nicky and Candy were chatting away across the bar from one another. Sky was leaning against the bar, standing next to Nicky. She looked expectantly at me as I walked in, rain dripping off me.

My heart was pounding in my chest. I took two steps towards the bar, unsteady on my feet, when Candy ran up to me and propped me up.

"Max!" Candy called out cheerily as if I were sober. She had hold of my wet shoulders so I wouldn't fall over.

"Max!" she said in a loud whisper in my ear. "You're drunk! What the fuck? Sky's here. Nicky's here and you come in drunk?" I'm sure she was tempted to belt me.

She turned her head away in disgust instead. "Oh my God, you reek of that cheap vodka you drink." She said it loud enough for Sky and Nicky to hear. Sky came up to me, her face reddened.

"Max... how could you?" Sky screamed at me.

My heart broke. But maybe it was for the best. She went out of focus as I wobbled on my feet.

"For fuck's sake Max. Can't you for once act like a grown-up?" Her arm went under mine and steadied me and walked me to my reserved booth in the back. She sat me down on one side and sat on the other.

Her face came into focus. She looked much better, at least on the outside. "How are you feeling?"

She sighed. "I'm fine Max, really."

She wanted to continue the charade of normalcy. I was drunk, so was in no position to dispute her claim.

"You should leave me Sky. I'm no good for you," I muttered.

"Max, I don't give up that easy," she said, looking me straight in the eyes. I had to fight myself from averting my eyes to the floor in shame.

"What do you mean?" I asked, trying not to slur my words. Why wasn't she slapping my face and walking away?

Her eyes were burning with a fire I hadn't seen before. "Max, I told you I love you. I've never told that to anyone before. You hurt me. You did something stupid, but so did I. You risked your life to save mine. You must still love me. So getting drunk isn't going to chase me away."

Her words had an instant, sobering effect.

"I don't know what to say to you. I was prepared for you to send me away. Everything you've said is true."

She only heard one thing. "So you still love me Max?"

"That's never changed."

"But are you willing to make a commitment to me?" she asked, mouthing the words I had dreaded to hear.

"You mentioned marriage, kids... it's a lot for me," I confessed.

She knew all about my resistance points. She tried to soften her approach.

"Max, it's just talk. I want what you want. If you don't want to get married, if you don't want to have kids, we'll deal with that. Right now I'm just trying to find out if we're still in love."

It wasn't that easy for me, and she knew it.

"I know Sky. I know that getting married and having kids must be a mutual decision. But I also know if we don't do those things that I'll disappoint you. And I don't want to build a relationship on disappointment."

"You haven't even tried Max. Are you willing to try?"

Those words cut through to my heart. She was right of course. I hadn't done a single thing to see if I could make a commitment. If I were really in love with her, wouldn't I at least try? Not even trying was being a true asshole. And that wasn't me.

"I'll try Sky."

"You will?" she asked, not quite believing my words.

"I said I would."

She smiled, and that made me happy.

Nicky came up and hugged me. She'd seen me drunk many times before and was much more willing to dispense forgiveness. She rescued me from a conversation that was quickly going sideways.

"Come and join us. We'll toast to Maddy."

Candy handed out drinks to each of us. She gave me a glass of lemonade.

"To Maddy," she said.

"To Maddy," Nicky said.

"To Maddy," Sky said.

"I loved her," I said.

We all hoisted our glasses.

"To my best friends," I added. Sky wrapped her arm around my waist and drew me close. All was (at least temporarily) forgiven.

Sometimes life gives you lemons, but the lemonade you can make from it doesn't taste so bad.

* * *

"Let's go home," Sky said to me. We'd been at the bar for at least two hours, and the buzz I had going in had faded. My dress was dry. Nicky had to take her leave, as she had to open the restaurant the next morning at six.

"You mean home, as in my place?" I asked.

"It's exactly what I mean," she said.

I was in uncharted waters. Is this what true love meant? I had done everything possible to push her away and yet here she was by my side.

She gave me a ride to the Royal Palms. The usual assortment of pimps, prostitutes and drug dealers populated the parking lot. We made the familiar trek up the outside stairs to room 204. But this time it felt different. We weren't there just to have sex. I opened the door and she walked in first. The room was its usual mess.

Instead of the usual admonishment about my housekeeping skills, Sky started down a different road. "My sorority sister Bibi..."

"Bibi?"

"It's short for Bridget."

"So anyway Bibi is a real estate agent, and she has an exclusive on the Worthington Greens..."

"You mean in Walnut Hills? The one being developed by St. Cyr Development?"

St. Cyr Development was one of the largest, and most successful real estate developers in Cincinnati. The founder, Elias St. Cyr, had a Midas touch when it came to residential real estate, which is why his projects sold out quickly.

"That's the one," Sky acknowledged.

I'd heard about that development. They'd taken down an adult movie theater and some shitty apartments and built a mega-complex with condos and shopping. It used to be my stomping grounds when I was fresh out of the Academy. It was way out of my price range.

"OK," I said, not knowing where this was going.

"They're required by the City to allocate 15% of their units to low-income individuals and families."

Now I saw where this was going.

"So I'm low income," I said.

"You are for these purposes," Sky said. "Will you at least talk to Bibi? The Royal Palms is dreadful."

"You seemed to like it," I said, not being able to keep my big mouth shut. "We've fucked here, like a hundred times."

It was true, and it was a stupid thing to say. Anger brewed on Sky's face.

"We need to have a place to live that's for real people... for living... for making love... not just fucking in some trashy motel room."

"When you say real people, you mean rich white people, like you and Bibi?" I asked in a thoroughly inappropriate and condescending tone. I knew Sky's father was a respected cardiologist, and wealthy. I had no doubt sorority sister Bibi was cut from the same cloth.

Sky gave me a pouting look. "Are you willing to talk to Bibi or not?"

"I'll talk to her," I said, trying to hide my exasperation and likely failing.

"Fine," Sky said. "So it's settled."

Sky turned the television so it could be seen from the bed. She straightened up the sheets, took off her shoes and got under the covers.

"Put on something," she said to me, pointing to the television and then patting the bed next to her.