Breaking the Rules Pt. 01

"Huh... eleven digits," Nuru said.

"Is that good for a demon? How much does she need for her next level?" Dayo asked.

/Sixteen./

"That means you need five more orders of magnitude to level?" Nuru said. "That doesn't sound like it helped much."

/It's good EXP for having not lifted a finger. Katlego - ah, I can get twelve digits from her every time, although it takes some effort keeping her Suggestion Planted good and deep./

"So she's like, Level Twenty-Two at least?" Dayo said after thinking for a minute. "Or does the math work differently?"

"You can do that math in your head?" Nuru said.

"Nah, you level up enough, you start to get a feel for these things. You need sixteen digits about Level Twenty-Two, through Level Sixty or so I think. You need seventeen digits from then on."

"I thought levels were exponential."

"Up to Level Fifteen."

"Well, now I'm extra confused. There's two formulas!?"

"Don't worry, you'll figure it out; it's far less difficult once you hit Level Fifteen, then it's just 1.5 times more every level after that, no more exponents. Anyway, if it's the same formula for demons, you've got a pretty good level succubus. Don't underestimate her."

"Trust me, I know better." He thought back to the ruptured earth where a tree of cooled magma had grown by the temple at Home Town because the succubus had targeted him with a deadly spell. She was still listening, no doubt; he decided not to comment further.

"Alright, I'll quit holding you up," Dayo said with a guilty look.

"You can hold me erect any time you like. Call it a... standing offer."

"Brat! I know you've got to go meet Ace." Dayo swatted at him, flinging a bit more of his seed out wildly into the air.

Nuru shielded his face with his hands, laughing. Dayo laughed too, shaking off and wiping her hand with a handkerchief.

"Kiss before you go?" Nuru said.

Dayo leaned into it. Their faces pressed together, noses bumping a little awkwardly, and with a nervous tension from Dayo that felt to Nuru like more than just a kiss between friends. It trailed off much longer than such a chaste kiss would, too.

"I feel so much better now. It was great to see you a little longer!" Nuru said as Dayo stood up to leave.

"It was great seeing a tiny little woman take you down," Dayo teased. "Mesi's gonna be tickled when I tell her. Git good, Nuru!"

"Yeah, thanks," Nuru scowled.

Dayo laughed again, waving over her shoulder and skipping down the path.

*****

"So what's the news? Is she alright?" Nuru said.

"Yeah, she's fine. Taking some heat from the sound of things, but she could teach a dragon a thing or two about being smug," Ace said.

"Is that really a thing? I've never met a dragon."

"Oh, you know, they're all gone now. There's possibly a variant that had social grace or whatever, but it's a stereotype for a reason."

"So you're saying she's insufferable, and it's a good thing I can't go see her anyway?"

"No, it's still a shame. I know she's disappointed too. She really wants to do things I don't want to think about to you."

"Did she say why she can't come?"

"She's on duty, like we guessed. Can't leave her post. Can't tell if she means the travel agency, or her... other identity. But you know how it is."

"I guess I do. Did she say anything about the business?"

"Oh, your arrangement with the armor shop? Yeah, it's been dissolved. Makena still gets to offer his quests, but you're not allowed to take EXP or gold from it anymore. The powers-that-be wanted to make you pay it all back, but they're not allowed to put anyone in EXP debt, so you dodged a blow there. It was a great idea; shame you can't take advantage of it anymore."

"It served its purpose. I'm luckier than I've any right to be, and I know it."

"You're gonna be a legend someday, if you don't get assassinated. Maybe even if you do. Oh, that reminds me, I have something for you."

Nuru pulled away instinctively.

"Hey, woah, relax. I'm still on your side, I'm not taking any contracts on you. I have a gift, from Makena. Said it was the least he could do, and he hopes to see you in them one day."

Ace pulled out a pair of tight pants, with a faint gold shine to them.

"Oh hey, I like it!" Nuru said.

"Easy-clean, high durability, and +1 to Stage Presence, whatever that means. Bard skill?"

"Yep. I know what passive skill I'm taking next time I level."

"Cool. That equipment's not common for bards, he must have put out a quest for it. You know where you're going from here?"

"Heading with some guys over to Black Mountain."

"Good deal. You can send a message to our friend at any of the travel agencies, she knows how to reach me. I'm gonna head out if it's all the same to you; feel like I've got to wash off some of this satisfaction-ooze. She's so happy it's repulsive."

"Maybe next time it'll be your turn to be insufferable."

"Kill me first. Don't be a stranger."

"You too."

*****

"You came," Bongani said.

"You sound surprised," Nuru said.

"I admit, I'm not sure why I invited you yesterday."

"Am I not welcome then?"

"Oh, no, it's not that at all! Sorry if I'm giving you that impression - the more we have, the better. But, so rarely is anyone interested. No loot, no EXP, long trip - you know how people are. The group all think I'm trolling them, or else you are."

"Then why did you bring it up, do you think?"

"Come, let's talk on the way. You seemed - hmm. It sounds silly now. But you're a bard. That, plus your demeanor... I don't know. Oh, the way you were not so eager to share your faction, perhaps. Most people are proud to announce their affiliation. As for me and my tribe though, we may be aligned, but we are not wholly defined by it; we're not all the same faction, even. It just seemed to me, perhaps you were one of us. Not my tribe in particular of course, we know each other on sight, but - perhaps one of the others. We are not at war these days."

"You said it's a spirit quest. What spirit are we looking for?"

"Ah, yes, I should make clear before we go. This is not a quest as you normally think of it. No one has told us to go anywhere, and there is no clear reward waiting for us, like I said. It is not sanctioned by any god, or faction. What we are doing, following this tradition, is answering the call of the spirit within. We go because we are pressed to do so, by the thirst of our own spirits, in order to understand ourselves. If you go expecting something profound to be provided to you, the road may hold only disappointment."

"Intriguing. I take it there is something special at Black Mountain that our... spirits may experience."

"Yes, yes. Here we are. You bring up some interesting questions, we might perhaps best answer this as a group. Gentlemen, this is Nuru, he will be joining us on our journey today. Also, told you so."

"Hullo, there. You're real after all."

"Hmph! Who you calling gentle?"

"Settle down. I'm sure it's a spectrum; you're the least gentlemanly of the bunch of us."

"Damn right." The barbarian belched loudly.

"So, you bring questions, Nuru? Welcome, by the way."

"Yes, apparently so. I hadn't thought to ask them before, but suddenly hearing about a spirit quest..."

"Well then, ask away."

Nuru suddenly had trouble telling Bongani apart from the others; in the dim morning light they were all dressed very similarly. They all introduced themselves, and he paid close attention to what they were wearing and their tattoos in order to keep them separate, but it didn't matter. They seemed to chime in at random, almost as if some unspoken order for whose turn it was to talk, and they all just spoke right up when their turn came.

"You all, ah, go on spirit quests to learn about yourselves?" Nuru said.

"That's the way of it, I suppose. We all might describe it slightly differently. But it's the beginning of understanding, I would say."

"This is a tradition of yours?" Nuru asked.

"Yes. Over the centuries, we and many others have done the same. Myth has it that long, long ago, before the gods themselves, spirit quests were the only kind of quests to be found. Their popularity has waned, and now, many will go their entire lives never having heard more than a reference in passing."

"You mean to suggest, there was a time before the gods even existed?"

"Our lore is somewhat unclear on certain points, that being one of them. There is some discussion that perhaps the gods have always existed, but they only at the beginning of the later ages revealed themselves and imposed the level system on us mortals."

"Imposed... meaning, it's not what naturally occurs? I've never thought about that possibility. How would that work?"

"Ho ho! We've got a live one here. Where did you find him, Bongani?"

"Just blew into the pub on a breeze. Fresh out of the Level Eleven gate, if I recall - yes?"

"That's right," Nuru said.

"I should warn you, this knowledge is... well, I can't say forbidden; perhaps suppressed. It goes against the orthodoxy, everything the gods and the factions will tell you. You won't make many friends repeating it."

"Now I'm even more intrigued."

"Good man! Today's your lucky day, and I forsee your spirit quest being most fruitful. Let's see. Have you ever had waffles, with berries on top?"

"Hmm, yes, once or twice."

"Aha, so you know how when you squish the berries down into the waffles, they sort of split and gush all over the place?"

"Yes," Nuru said.

"Imagine an entire society, growing freely, as a blackberry bush. Everything grows as it is inclined. Then one day, a man comes along and picks the berries. He thinks every one of those berries, that's a metaphor for people here, aught to fit in one of those waffle holes - a box, if you will, such as the classes we all take at age eighteen. So now everyone has to fit into this role."

"Dammit, now I'm hungry."

"Shut up. You had your chance to grab a bite. Not my fault you're fasting today."

"I'm just saying, you're not helping."

"Annnnnnyway, that's kind of the theory. The tribes used to be like those bushes, every person growing into a spot where they feel comfortable. And then the gods came along and mashed it all up. There was a self, a shape that you were inclined to take, or your soul was at least, and you've been reshaped by this process of being stuffed in the hole, slowly growing into it your whole life. The harder you resist it, the more painful it tends to be. Over the ages, we've all come to just accept it. But, we still often wonder, some few of us, just what it is we are underneath the levels, and the classes, and the leaderboard."

"Our purest selves, you mean?" Nuru said.

"Ah, you do understand. We go in search of illumination within, by casting a light on it from the outside world, from new places and in new ways."

"So what's at Black Mountain that helps us... get in touch, or whatever, with that purest self?"

"I am not sure I can describe it. In any case, I feel that we all come away with something a little different. Do you all agree?"

"It's a bit like sitting and watching the clouds, only better."

"There you have it. You'll just have to see for yourself."

"I can't wait!" Nuru said, sincerely.

"Well it's a bit further still, so we'll have to find a way to pass the time. You're a bard, can you drum and sing us a marching tune?"

"I can, but I don't know any yet."

"We know a few. Perhaps you can fit a rhythm to it."

They all launched into a unified chant in a language Nuru didn't know.

"Fascinating. Is that...?"

"The old tongue, or our ancestral version of it. We've clung to it, kept it alive over time, though the gods have done their best to stamp it out."

"It's lovely. Recite that a few more times, I think I've got something."

They did so, several choruses with a theme. Nuru picked apart a consonant thread he kept hearing, and began beating a simple rhythm in time with it, and slowly built it into a back-and-forth between the chant and the drum. He would blend as they chanted, and he would reply with a hearty nonverbal phrase when they paused. Each part grew more animated and louder each time, until the barbarians were all crying out with one voice, punctuated by Nuru's reply, and back and forth they went. The verse ended and they all raise their weapons with gusto.

"Haaa! That was fantastic! Just like being back home and singing our favorite traditional songs at our feast days. You should come join us sometime."

"You know what? I think I will," Nuru said.

"Come on. Let's see what you can do with this one."

They sang something new, in two parts. The ones on the left chanted the first part, and those on the right chanted the second. It took a few repetitions before Nuru noticed a theme in the emphasis of certain syllables, but once he did, he found a few rhythms that fit right in. He kept it simple, didn't embellish, and let the words carry their own life.

"!Tasiri motsin zuciyarmu!" Nuru muttered.

"What's that?"

"Musical trance. Wanted to try something," Nuru said.

"Eh, that's fine. It's your MP to burn."

"Helps my proficiency, too," Nuru said.

"Oh yeah, good idea."

One chant ended, and Nuru had a little time to refill his MP. The road flew by under their feet as they launched into another.

"Say, you fellas remember running to your spirit quests?"

"Can't say I do. Ever."

"Then why are we doing it?"

"Dunno. Just feels good, I guess. What do you guys think?"

"I think it's that musical trance. I remember my da tellin' me one time that the chants had a power, that needed a shaman of sound or some such. Maybe this is how it was in the old days."

The barbarians all thundered to a halt, and turned to look at Nuru as he trailed off with the last beats of the marching song they'd been singing. Wide-eyed, they turned to each other, than back to him, exchanging significant glances.

"One of us, one of us," one of them said. The rest joined the chant easily.

"One of us! One of us!"

"One of us! One of us, hey!"

The barbarians laughed and jostled each other cheerfully.

"Say, this is how we were, why aren't any of us bards these days?"

"No glory in it these days. Everybody wants to be the one that lands that last dramatic blow, or has the highest DPS rating to get into the elite raids. Bards always get picked last, I hate to say, after all the glamorous positions are filled. Barbarian's the traditional choice."

"Yeah, everybody wants to have a bard, but nobody wants to actually be that guy. Kind of how our parents want us to find a great wife to settle down with, but didn't want to have a daughter themselves."

The mood soured just a little.

"Quit salting the jollies, man."

"Hey, it's a spirit quest. You take the good with the bad. That's part of the experience."

"I thought that was the point of the bay quest where we hold the wakes."

"Sometimes, but if you know what the experience is going to be, you don't really need to go on it, do you?"

"Oh. Maybe you're right."

"So why did you take the class, if you don't mind us getting all personal?"

"Not at all," Nuru said. "Although, I'm not sure I can explain it. It just felt right. Maybe I need to go on a few more spirit quests to figure it out?"

"Hahah! Not even done with the one and already looking forward to more. Let me be the first to say you're welcome to come with us anytime."

"Sorry, you're not the first, I already told him the same when I invited him," Bongani said.

"Say, there's not a single woman here as far as I can tell," Nuru said. "Are they not allowed to come?"

"Well, no, that's the tradition. There's a different kind of energy they bring with them. Not bad, I think - certainly, I enjoy the company of the 'wimmins'."

Suggestive chuckles came from several directions.

"It's just that there's a certain experience to being among only men. There's some co-ed spirit quests too, but this one - no. They get all giggly and weird."

"And they have their own, without us smelly brutes."

"Oh, OK," Nuru said.

"You think they're cracking open the whiskey jars without us?"

"We've talked about this. They don't just start a drunken lesbian orgy the moment we leave their sight."

"Come on, I can't be the only one with that fantasy."

"No, but you might be the only one that can't tell it apart from reality."

"How do you know they don't do it?"

"Idiot, we were kids once. You remember that ever happening when the men all got up and went away?"

"I remember they always made us go to bed early..."

"That's because they needed extra hands for the chores the next day, and we needed to be rested."

"Think about this. You know how loud women get when they're really cutting loose."

"Yeah, so?"

"So we would have heard it if that many women were having that good of a time, anywhere in the village."

"...Fuck."

"Now before you go getting all butt-hurt about your precious delusions, think about what those feast days might have been like, back before the factions started imposing all those morality rules on holiday celebrations."

"Oh. So... it doesn't happen anymore, but..."

"There might have been village-size orgies way back in the day."

"What I wouldn't give to have a time-travel portal."

"That's not a thing. But if it was, me too."

"Where would you go if you could travel in time? Besides the old days, when spirit quests first started, obviously."

"I'd go back and watch the big battles they talk about in school. Those guys with all the legendary gear we keep hearing about, but haven't hardly seen in our lives, kicking ass."

"What, like, sit back with a beer and watch?"

"And a pork sandwich!"

"That does sound pretty awesome."

"Where would you go, Nuru?"

"I think I'd go to the future," Nuru said.

"Whoa, that would be crazy. I mean, do you even know there's gonna be a future?"

"Of course there's gonna be a future. Why wouldn't there? The gods won't be ending the leaderboard or any of it any time soon, right?"

"Zombie outbreaks could get out of hand."

"Meh, they'll just stop the sun right in the middle of the sky and rot them all. Apocalypse averted, one week, tops."

"And the vamps'd starve."

"Well, the weak ones would, or they'd burn up. The rest would go to sleep and come back after the sun started moving again."

"Where would you go in the future? I mean, we've got no idea what's gonna happen - what there will be to see."

"I'd just want to know who it would be good to come back and make friends with right now," Nuru said.

"Ooh. That's a good idea - do a favor for somebody that'll be famous someday. That'd be worth a trip for sure."

"I'd go find out how I was gonna die, so I could prevent it."

"Why? You'd just die of something else - maybe sooner, watching for the thing you're expecting."

"Yeah, but maybe not."

"I'd go find out a bunch of stuff, come back, and pretend to be an oracle, and then look really smart when it happened."

"Wouldn't you actually BE a proper oracle? I mean, you literally saw the future that way."

"Hmm. OK, yeah, I'd legit be an oracle."

"Like that guy up the way, whats-his-name."

"Oh, Chibuzo, or whatever?"

"Yeah, that guy. Just sits around, says strange things, and people bring him food and gifts."

"Where's that now?" Nuru said.

"Up by Sapphire City, or thereabouts. Northern outskirts, I thought."

"Yeah, that's right. Acts like he's been on all kinds of spirit quests, but I doubt if he's gone a mile in the last year."

"It's not about the miles."

"Yeah, I know, but... you know what I mean. How can you see yourself from a new angle if you never go anywhere?"

"Makes a living though. Maybe there's something to it."

"Maybe people just trying to boost their karma. Or paladins, just being noble to show off their piety."