Breaking the Rules Pt. 18

Nkirika and Nia looked at each other as the final gush came out of Nuru and dribbled down onto Nkirika's hand. She lifted it to slurp it away, and Nia tried to grab her hand and steal it away, but lost her grip somewhat just as Nuru's Weightless Foot entered cooldown. The whole group clenched back together, snack forgotten as they all plummeted to the ground and sprawled in all directions. Ethereal figures darted in, intercepting the fallen pixies and tearing free parts of them and reforming into the original small-sized figures that Nuru had first encountered. In moments, he was alone, panting and replaying the last several minutes over and over in his head, convincing himself it had all been real.

/That was quite impressive./

(You seem surprised.)

/Normally they're just like children, except they rarely accept any kind of parental-figure, they're very independent and strong-willed. If they weren't so easily distracted, they'd be a political force all their own. As it is they're generally just a passing curiosity - or a moderate nuisance. Also they don't normally get along with each other this well, to say nothing of the... geometric challenges with most of you mortals. I've never seen them work together before, and I think I like it./

A great yawning sound turned Nuru's attention away from that discussion. Kwame had clambered to his feet and was stretching contentedly.

"Ach, that were a lovely break, we thanks ya kindly," he said.

"Yeah... uh... you're welcome. Where did everybody go?"

"They're 'round someplace. Gods know they'll find me afore too long, don't ye worry."

"Say, I have a question."

"Eh? Wots 'at?"

A breeze stirred the trees, and Nuru felt a chill creep over him. "Uh, before that, have you seen my clothes?"

Kwame looked left and right, then started chuckling. "Ah! A right terror they've been, jus' as we predicted! Oh, we've not had a romp like that in months. Truly, me future looks bright with such a mood. We feels the wanderlust a'risin' again, let us be on the move! Forgive us not shakin' yer hand, knowin' what ye've been up ta."

"Buh... wait... I need to talk about what happened!" Nuru said. "And with them!"

"Ach, we said ye'd be fine, and there ye are! They won't have gone too far wit' yer threads, just have a poke about and ye'll find 'em quick enough. There's no catchin' 'em 'til they're ready to be found."

Kwame: ♫ hi ho - hi ho - it's adventuring we go ♫

/Ah, show's over. I'm going to get some rest if you don't mind./

(I think I will too.)

Nuru flopped back down, exhausted from having held himself rigid for so long, and drifted away into unconsciousness until he awoke again, cold and shivering. He sat still, thinking back to the entire encounter, searching for clues to the missing clothing, and managed to find some. Pixies had flown off in the direction of the road after they'd taken the pieces from him.

The shoes were tied up and hanging from a branch he could see nearby; he needed to engage Weightless Foot to leap up and free them and he missed a couple times before he just aimed for the branch itself and dragged it downward and shook it. Distant laughter told him that he was being observed as he did it, and his wild flailing was providing entertainment for the hidden observers. He left the leaves and dirt stuck to him for the moment trying to stay warm, and carefully stayed out of view. One article after another was hanging from bushes and trees, and no one had taken them yet. He carefully time a dart across the road to get them and regained the cloak and his underwear. He then noticed a couple rangers jogging along turn and spy his pants.

"Crap. Crap. Time to move."

He barrelled in as they closed on the clothing and shouldered them aside to snatch it away.

"Hey!" one protested.

"Finders keepers!" the other growled.

"Sorry gents, I need it more than you do," Nuru called over his shoulder; hopping behind a bush to yank them back on.

"Oh. Those were yours? What happened, how did you lose them?"

"Dadgum pixies," Nuru grumbled, stepping back out with the pants on, struggling back into his shoes.

"Huh. Yeah, this is Rainbow Road, not unheard of to run into those. Gotta be careful, especially if you're not in the Spectrum."

"I know that now. They're not listed in the Random Encounters."

"No, they wouldn't be. I mean, they're monsters, but they're not technically hostile to most Low Factioners."

"You guys see a blue-and-gold shirt around by chance?" Nuru said.

"You're the eagle-eye, what do you think?"

"Hm, yeah, I think I see some blue over that way."

"Much obliged sirs. Git good!" Nuru said, scampering over that way.

"Haha. You too!"

The loincloth was stuffed in the pants pocket, but he didn't see the codpiece anywhere. As darkness started to fall, he cursed his luck and turned to complete the journey, no longer concerned about remaining anonymous. He approached the city gates and slowed, tucking his cloak about him. A hooded figured tugged at one of the minotaur guards and pointed. The minotaur bellowed and waved him over.

"Shit I don't have time for this," Nuru said, taking off running into the city.

Neither of the guards made to pursue him immediately, so he held his Weightless Foot in reserve, but kept a good running pace. His MP was refilling steadily with Sanaa finally resting, but he might need to be ready again at any moment, judging by some of the hard stares he was seeing from doorways as he passed. He was just plucking up the nerve to stop and ask for directions to an inn, when he was tackled from behind.

"Yaaagh shit get off get off get-"

"Ow, hey! Settle those long legs now, before I Needle Storm your useless round ears into next week."

"...Furaha?"

"Yes, you insipid oaf, I've been calling you for several minutes."

"Oh. That was you at the gate. You had your hood up and then I lost track of you."

"Well I'm trying not to be recognized, being wanted by the Legion and all."

"Of course, it just makes it hard for me to recognize you as a friend. I have to be careful, I'm a little bit wanted too."

Furaha sighed. "I know. Look, I've got a room. We should talk, but there are ears out here, so don't say anything else right now."

He followed her to a staircase leading down into a series of tunnels, through a maze with signs he couldn't read, and finally to the room with the containment ward.

"Oh. You really did summon her."

"That's how I knew you were coming, after all."

"How do you like having a succubus at your beck and call?"

"I admit the lonely hours of the night have started to tempt me to call her just to have some company."

"Ooh! Did you do it!?"

"None of your business!"

"Aw. I suppose you're right. I take it back. You know I get EXP for hearing about it now."

"Even if I had done, I'd be risking getting enthralled. The ward here is robust, making it great at containment, but I can't just kick a hole in the circle to send her back if she's behaving badly. I don't know how tempting that is for her, and I'm not prepared to test fate; the ward isn't meant to protect against auras like hers."

"Is this a prison cell?"

"Sometimes. It's not a standard turn-bolt, but I've got the key to unlock from the inside."

"Anyway, you've got me to keep you company now. If you want me."

"Not until you get a bath, mister. You sparkle too much. Gods below, you got it all over me, too."

"...sparkle?"

He looked himself over. In the candlelight it was easier to pick out the glittery sheen his skin now had, and his clothes too.

"Oh. Another trick of the pixies."

"Ugh, you ran into more than one? I don't envy you that. Did you count all your fingers to make sure they're all there?"

"No, but I do know my codpiece is missing."

"That ridiculous thing. What are you going to do about Katlego? That's why you had it, right?"

"Yeah, but I may not be seeing her again for awhile."

"You got the map?"

"Heh. Funny story."

He laid it out for her.

"High Priest Taurai. Just what we needed," Furaha groaned. "Well, you did what you had to. I will concede it couldn't have gone much better. I'm running out of favors to call in, but I'll have to in order to get a thief to be our runner. Ace is away, and until this Legion situation is resolved I'm going to be a high-risk quest giver, with the required reward bonus to go with it, especially on short notice."

"Hmm. Could we get Sanaa to help?" Nuru wondered.

Furaha opened her mouth to give a sharp retort, then froze, thinking. "I... maybe. Depends what she's willing to do to get this done. A few minutes with a succubus could be considered an epic prestige reward. People get badges for that stuff, surviving a Major Demon encounter solo. But the things we'd have to do to guarantee their safety... I can't ask her to go through that."

Nuru tugged at Sanaa.

"Just how far are you willing to go for this map?" he said to his shoulder, where he imagined her sitting as a little shoulder devil.

/You know damn well I'll do things you can't even imagine, Nuru./

"Good, because we're considering offering time with you as a quest reward. How do you feel about that? They're going to insist on some pretty strong protective measures, I'm sure. You're going to be helpless."

/You can't kill me with a temporary summon. I'm not worried./

"No, but there's some really ugly stuff they can do short of that."

/You can't rape the willing, Nuru. You know sex is what I do. If anything, they're still not going to be prepared for me, even in a restrained capacity./

"Gods. I feel like I'm pimping out my best friend here. What would my parents think if they could see this?"

/Some dads are proud of their sons flexing their manliness./

"I guess. You didn't know him, though."

/I... uh, no, I didn't./

"Wait, did you?"

/Not at all./

"Then why'd you hesitate?"

/Just, uh, reminding myself about something to take care of. When do we get to the fun? I'm sore, but I can still put out as long as Furaha can keep me around./

"I dunno. When do we start?"

"As soon as possible, if we need somebody for first light tomorrow," Furaha said. "Let me go run to the Thieves Guild and solicit a volunteer. We don't have time to post on the bulletin board. Stay here. You hungry? I'll grab something for you on the way back."

"That'd be great, thanks," Nuru said.

"And stay out of my bed until you wash!"

He sat on his pack and waited. She returned with a steaming mug of stew and handed it to him.

"Come on, let's get you cleaned up."

He left the pack in the room, sipped the hot stew and followed, listening as she pointed out various landmarks for him to navigate by.

"Here. I'll be back in an hour."

"Aw. Not gonna join me? I got some pixie flakes on you already," Nuru winked.

She turned her face to the side.

"Oh, no. Did I offend you somehow? Should I have not come here?" he gasped, feeling a cold lump form in his belly.

"No, you-" her lip trembled. "OK. Get in the bath. I need to explain something."

"I'm listening," he said gravely.

"I can't believe you want me, just like that. After all I've kept from you, everything that's happened at the port. It honestly never occurred to me that nothing changed for you. I'm worried that you're just... oblivious. So I need to make sure you understand some things before we move forward. Nuru, who am I?"

"You're... you're a librarian, and a data analyst, and a- I guess former travel service agent?"

She nodded. "They fired me, yes. I will never run a Multiversal Travel office again."

"Right. Sorry about that. And of course, you're one of my best friends. An absolute genius strategist. Half an elf, by blood, but that's no dishonor to my eyes; you're beautiful and sexy and I have been restraining myself from nibbling on your ears because I know you're ashamed of them but they're just so damn cute. I love them, and I love you, inside and out. My life is so much richer with you in it."

Her eyes brimmed over with tears. "But... you don't know my past, not really. I told you I was too well-traveled, and it's true. Do you know what it means, Nuru? They have a saying, 'it's not the years, it's the miles'. Have you heard of that?"

He nodded. "But you still have this joyful spirit. The miles haven't broken you down. You still have value, as a person, especially to me. And to Dayo. It's not my place to give details, but... I know they care about you too. I bet to Ace, as well."

"Yes, but... it's not just the miles, Nuru. How old do you think I am?"

He frowned, tilted his head, and looked her up and down.

"Hey. Eyes up here, mister," she chided gently with a half-scowl, half-grin.

"I say mid thirties, at most. I was thinking late twenties subconsciously. Not that it really matters. Why?"

"Nuru... gods. I've let you think that this whole time. Encouraged it a bit. But... I'm forty-two. Forty-two, Nuru. My mother had me when she was nineteen, and you've seen her. She's an old woman now."

"So?"

"So I'm old enough to be your mother. I might have gone to school with her."

"I asked this before, but let me ask it again. So what?"

"So!? Is that it? I'm a fucking cradle robber and that's all you have to say? I'm disgusting."

Nuru dropped the washcloth off to the side, and climbed out. He followed Furaha as she backed away against the wall in fear as he stalked towards her.

"Now listen here," he started.

"Come on, we both know it's-"

The silence of the slap that almost happened echoed throughout the room, followed by deafening silence. She turned and stared at him in shock, blood draining from her face.

"Now listen here," he said, voice cracking. "I like you, but that's my dear friend Furaha you're talking about, and I won't hear you tell such ugly lies about her."

Her face slipped into confusion as angry tears blurred his vision.

"Wha- what are you- that's me," she stammered. "I'm- it's just me talking about myself."

"That's right. I don't like it when anyone talks bad about Dayo, either. If it weren't suicide, I'd kick that foul poison right out of Chibale's mouth. And by all the gods above and below, if anybody trashes you, I'll want to make them eat their own teeth. You wouldn't say anything like that about Dayo, would you?"

She shook her head, mutely holding the cheek that had missed his hand print by mere inches.

"Right, I wouldn't either. It hurts me when anyone insults my friends. And that includes when you do it to yourself. I don't want to hear you beating yourself up like that, you understand? You're not disgusting. You can say whatever you want in your own head, I can't stop you. But don't try to tell me such vicious slander out loud, about one of my best friends. OK?"

Furaha melted into his chest, bawling. He led her to the bath, helped her get her clothes off, and held her as she sobbed until someone pounded on the door and yelled about their time being up. The water was getting chilly, too.

"We... um... we should probably get to bed," Furaha sniffled. "It's gonna be an early day tomorrow."

"Yeah. Wanna help me get all the glitter out?"

"Oh, it's hopeless. All your clothes are ruined, and mine. That stuff never comes out. It's worse than a wine stain."

"Maybe it'll give me a CHA bonus on my Grand Entrance skill."

Furaha snorted, smiling a little bit. "Maybe."

"...I apologize. I didn't mean to almost hurt you. I'm sorry, I feel awful now."

"I was... just surprised, really. This might sound strange, but... can I be honest?"

"You better."

"Right. We agreed not to hold back, and here I was the one doing it this whole time. I... think you said what I needed to hear, even though I didn't want to and it truly never occurred to me to think about how it was hurting you to hear me talk about myself like that. And I don't know if there was any other way to get me to listen, truly listen, to what you were saying, because I'm still stuck in these old self-destructive patterns and I was terrified of you hating me when you found out my age. I've been dreading that moment ever since I met you, and when the Legionnaire started talking about me missing my chance I was sure you had figured it out. I started panicking and got all wrapped up in my own head, and you snapped me out of it by finally following the script I had in my head, that you were going to lash out and I would deserve it. But... please don't ever hit me in anger. I don't know if our friendship could survive that."

"I won't."

They finished bathing and returned to her room, falling into bed, both emotionally exhausted. Furaha sighed into a pile a stuffed animals.

"What's the matter?" Nuru said.

"I keep asking my therapist when I'm going to stop being broken," she murmured.

"And what's the answer?"

" 'We're all broken,' she said. 'We all work towards becoming a better person through our entire lives.' I'm not sure I ever believed her."

"Not sure I do either. I think some people stop improving themselves," Nuru said. "Some of them before they've even grown up."

"I know what you mean. At least that's not us... right?"

"Right. And I think you're a better person than you were even yesterday."

"Mmm... yeah..."

She squirmed into a more comfortable position, and they drifted off to sleep in each others' arms without another word.