All Comments on 'Breathing Happiness'

not good not bad not very interesting just blah and way to short.

When you read a really good story you know it. The author chooses their words carefully, knowing that each word must further the narrative, not merely show the reader how much the author knows about things. Details matter to a story, but unnecessary details confuse the reader, making them think things are important when they really aren't. I'm wondering now about the muscle memory of his fingers having typed in the code umpteen hundreds of times. The detail stuck with me, but is it in an important thing to remember? I don't know for one because the story is unfinished, but if the detail is not pertinent to the narrative, you've only muddied up your tale.

Your story isn't bad, for what it is. Please don't think I hate it. I'm just trying to offer a point that may help you in future endeavors.

The dude sounds like a typical teenager that is always horny and thinking about pussy. It's a good thing he has a younger sister to give him some erotic fantasies to think about.

It will be interesting to see how this incest story is going to get the stud laid.

Thanks for the start.

way to short unfinished and a lot of usless information all add up to a waste of time. delete and rewrite using a good editor and make damn sure you finish it properly.

Dull and unfinished