by Tony155
It was a great story.I have not enjoyed a story this good in a long time. I hope that their will be more of it.
this is definitely one of the better stories in Lit.; i haven't read this second part thoroughly, but the first installment, which was twice as long, it was a story the author put in a lot of type thinking and writing.
thanks for the hard work; its semi-taboo topic is erotic; but it also have believable heartach and true romance. good job, again, thanks for entertaining us from different angles
This story is really great. Can't wait to see Chapter 3 to come out. Would love to hear more about Brenda & Ian, perhaps another bout with Ian's father.
Wonderful concept, very well told, I found it an experience, not just another story, thank you.
I hope it's not just a hobby (your writing) you have a promising future, you don't write as though this was a "one hit wonder".
Keep up the fine work.
Which I am actually glad about. part 2 is great, realistic as far as family fall out goes. Great writing btw. I enjoyed your tale.
If you are looking for a great story by a fantastic writer, this is where to look. The story grabs you at the start and takes you on a ride of love, lust, loss, despair, and ever other human emotion with great skill. I hope there is more
You are the best romance writer I have read. More of Brenda & Ian and also some additional submissions.
I thank you again, warmly.
It's been an involving reading...
What the hell there is no "hard sex"? I appreciate your telling the story, and you write very, very well and warmly; I mean, this warms my heart reading it.
Go ahead!
You deserve my friendship.
Carlo from Milano, Italy
I can honestly say that this set of evolving story is by far the best I've ever read. This authur is extreemly talented, and I thank "Tony155" for providing us with a story such as this.
Since you were out in left field anyway with Brenda being adopted, you should had have Ian was adopted too. And they both could have had the same mother. Their parents adopted them at the same time. So they were not cousins but brother & sister.
Love both Ch 1 & Ch 2 Did not need the hard sex to keep you involved and wondering what wahs going to happen next.
Love both Ch 1 & Ch 2 Did not need the hard sex to keep you involved and wondering what was going to happen next.
I have thoroughly enjoyed the first two chapters and look forward to reading the final chapter. Thanks for sharing a very special talent.
each chapter is better then the one b4 it i give u 10000000/10 AT LEAST
This is a marvelous story with wonderfully true-to-life events and relationships. Ian and Brenda are fine examples of young love growing into maturity, rich with warm humor. Thanks for the excellent writing style.
This is a marvelous story with wonderfully true-to-life events and relationships. Ian and Brenda are fine examples of young love growing into maturity, rich with warm humor. Thanks for the excellent writing style.
Author Tony gives us very HOT but SWEET SEX as the loving cousins-who-aren't(legally) continue to grow in their deeply devoted, passionate relationship. The wedding is anticlimactic and dull, the more so because his stubborn parents didn't come to her parents' funeral, nor to the wedding. Part 3 of this trilogy has its work cut out for it. This is a sexy, marvelous romance between two wonderful young people. I love it!
good until the part where ian's father disowns him then it went unrealistic for a while. i mean he knew there was a big chance of it happening so why didn't he plan better. since he was going to be staying at brenda's he should have had all his stuff at her house long before this and they should have brought her car also. these things make it sound so stupid and unrealistic like you just wrote without thinking and never proof read the story before posting this chapter needs a major rewrite
DBRS
I really dont know where to start.. I read at least a book a week, and this beats everything I have ever read. It contains everything.. Love, Drama, Suspense, Sorrow, Fear, Sadness, Tragedy.... I cant congratulate you any more.. a Brilliant piece of written work !more...
This is an absolutely stunning story (though it could have used a little judicious editing). The love of the "cousins" was believable and beautiful---everything I wish my own cousin-love could have been. You've captured perfectly the loving relation between cousins who are close---their genuine friendship, their desire to be supportive of each other, being careful not to "cross the line" (at least not too soon!). The scenes with Ian's father brought back so many bad memories that I couldn't get to sleep. They were utterly realistic, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
I'm not sure about the law in Ohio, but you do realize that about half the states permit first-cousin marriage, and that the Bible and the Church do not forbid it. Adrian's anger was completely displaced, and near the end you were right to have him (in the dream) say it was a matter of control. No question of incest, even if Brenda had not been adopted.
I also appreciate the relatively delicate way you handle the sex scenes. I didn't feel I was reading pornography, but a love story. And I mean that as the highest compliment.
I completely disagree with the below comment from DBRS (They've trolled me as well) I thought the disowning made it so much more realistic. This whole story is great, onto the final chapter.
I agree with old king clancy about DBRS comments.
When your 20 or so you don't quite have all of the
smarts to think of things like getting disowned and walking away with whats on your back.
Unless youve been down a couple of mean streets in your early life this is not part of your thought process and these two younsters haven't been down the any mean streets.
Best goddamned story I've ever read, looking forward for the next chapters, keep up the awesome work :)
Loved it so much! Very heartfelt :) The end startled me - i never wouldve thought it was a dream! How wonderful - im so happy that they are married and that their uncle and aunt really support them.
This chapter's as bitter sweet as the first and I just loved it! I was actually scared when reading it that something terrible would happen to one of them. I suppose that means you've written pretty involving characters. :)
Tony, great story. You have an excellent writing style, with three-dimensional characters, who talk and act like real adults. An unfortunate rarity on Literotica. I hope you will be posting more of your well-crafted stories to this site. Or at least include in you bio the web address we can purchase your stories.
Now, I do not often criticize other authors work.. The criticism I get for my own postings make me laugh gleefully at the offense I have caused. Generally I overlook most errors, as I understand they are actually caused by this mishmash of technical chaos we all misuse and abuse.
However, when you rewrite and re-post the first and second parts (combined and expanded into a novella, puhleaze!). An important plot point was the Degree Brenda received?
And most important of all: NEVER flush female sanitary items down the toilet. One of the most aggravating household repairs are nervous girls, at the wrong time of the month and an old toilet. Cause I had to pull out the toilet and ream out some nasty clogs on a regular basis until they learned better.
It is hard to believe this author has not posted a new story for several years, he writes so well.
George in Omaha
This is an excellent story that a little polish and editing could make outstanding. The misuse of the verbs lie and lay take this reader out of the fictive dream. Multiple POV in the same paragraph is bothersome also. Otherwise, excellent. Thanks for sharing.
I really love the ending and you made a great story. Please write more.
I loved chapter 1 and this one did not disappoint.
You are a sublime story teller, I look forward to every new page.
The story is gentle, touching, yet very sensual. You have a real gift for story telling.
Great story with lots of drama. The big question will Ian's parent ever come around and accept his marriage. Well written. 5/5