All Comments on 'Bri Ch. 03'

Very nice. :) You have a good flow to your story - it makes sense in how it proceeds. You have good characters and good development of them (for which I'm envious).

Good story, sir - thank-you!

Loved it.

Hot, AF!

Great story! If there is a Chapter 4, I trust we will read about Big Bill receiving all the karma he so richly deserves, at least as a fotnote

Great story, please continue.

Hot, Fun

It was quite a ride.

We really liked this. The pacing is good and the characters are nicely developed. Although the last paragraph kind of made it sound like this was the final chapter, this could easily be expanded. Is Helen staying for good? What happens with big Bill? Keep up the excellent writing.

-MM

Bill becomes a cuck loving cum dumpster. LOL

Interesting story and hopefully more chapters will be added and not with Bill involved sexually even though it would be funny in the satire section

So couldn't let this one go but on page 1 it said she had a "freshly sugared vagina". Enough said.

My goodness, this was a hot story! I hope you keep writing it, we need MORE!!!

Hope this gets another installment.

Good story and have enjoyed where it has been going. Hope you add to it would be interesting to see how it balances out with mom staying and one of his lovers.

Great story. Enjoyed each chapter. Liked the way you wrote Big Bill (hated him from the very first and would have kicked his ass out my house straight away). Please add additional chapters at your earliest convenience (just do not include Big Bill).

The story line is compelling, with good representation of the participants. What was disappointing was the uneven grammar caused by misspelled words, partial sentences, and a few other mishaps that occur. The story doesn't flow smoothly, it jerks and bumps it's way along.

It's clear that the narrative was not proofread by any one, to the detriment of the readers.

To the author; it appears that having your story published is more important than the need to ensure your work reflects the best you are capable of. Take the time to consider your readers. Proofread, proofread, proofread... (by one or more other writers)

It's a great addition to the already got as hell story. I think u should add another chapter to it. The asshole Bill has to suffer. And if by suffering u can somehow make the mother in law also pregnant, that would be the best revenge.

I loved the story. Great, creative writing.

Usually I am anti inviting more family into a loving situation but this wasn't bad at all. Also fuck Bill. Piece of shit.

Enjoyed it a lot. First two chaps were super hot. Third not so much but still enjoyed reading it as a story. Happy to end it here.

Reminded me of what I used to say about Paul Harvey News.

Paul Harvey could take something ordinary and when he got through it sounded like an interesting piece of news.

It was like a road trip so pleasant and wonderful that you do not care if you're going nowhere. That it does go somewhere at the same time is icing on the cake.

The writing, the metaphors, the comparisons had me chuckling often and in awe at the writer's skill. That it is also in the cuckquean category [a tag that it needs] is a bonus for me.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Paul in Oklahoma

P.S. I have 8 years of education post high school.

The grammar/language problems (mentioned by other commenters) were not a problem for me. Still easily understandable Well within what is acceptable for an amateur, free site without the paid, professional editors of a publishing house.

Every mans dream, excellent story.

I echo everything Paul in Oklahoma said.

Great storey, hope it doesn’t end here. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Great story, really hope you continue it.. Please do!

Lady lava... :)

Very nice series!

Wow... A lot of bombshells dropped in this one. Some shocking, others not so. I'm looking forward to the next one.

Damn good too... 2 is still my favorite of these... but this one is seriously good too.

Don’t know how you could have made it better. The best ever.

Nice but shower water as lube ain’t happening

The first two chapters were really great, a very sexy fantasy scenario, but adding the mother to this relationship just destroyed all suspension of disbelief.

Water is never ever going to help with "lube".. it washes it away..

As was said before your not using water as lube no way in hell could that ever be possible and also you ruined the entire story just by bringing in the mother in law another thing is you wrote the guy to be a pussy is that your fansty a guy being a pussy if not there was no reason to write him like 1

This story jumped the shark quickly

Ruined it with the mother in law. Why do so many authors need to bring in the mother/mother in law?

Big Bill drinking Bud Light…how perfectly appropriate!

The only comment here that made any sense came from KinPA. The rest of you idiots need to find a simpler hobby that doesn't need a functional brain.

That was a really great story!!