Bridesmaids

She seemed shocked and bewildered by the intensity of it. "Well, THAT was new."

"What was new, what I did, or a girl doing it to you?"

"Both. So, I guess that's how it's supposed to feel. I knew I'd been missing something," she said, dry and deadpan.

When she went down on me she was tentative, testing it with long shy strokes of her tongue. "You vulva's so pretty. I just want to kiss it." It didn't mind her fumblings. I was so turned on that just soft, careful flicks of her tongue made me shiver with joy.

For me, it's not the technique of the tongue or even the gender of the tongue it's attached to. The tongue is like a plug and I'm the socket and a little part of the other's soul flows into me like electricity. As much as our bodies were alike our minds and souls were different. She was cool, precise, analytical, and strong-willed. I was fuzzy, frazzled, creative, and fickle. The polarity created an electrical charge so potent, that I came for her with force I've never felt with any lover before her. I'd been shocked in my life, but she hit me like a thunderbolt.

Then at dawn, I woke up to see her dressed. "I have to go back to my room."

"Will I see you again before you leave?"

She shook her head. "Our flight's in two hours."

I reached over to the bedside table and ripped two pages out of my sketchbook. "I drew them while you were sleeping."

She took the drawings and as she stared at them she was expressionless except tears rolled down her cheeks and dripped onto the paper. "What I said, about being a time bomb? I wasn't talking about you. You know who you are. I was talking about me." She said this without looking at me.

"Thanks for the explosion." I smiled but she didn't. She pulled herself together, and then she was all business.

"I need you to hang on to these for me. I don't want Dave to see them."

"Which Dave?" I said coyly, but she didn't laugh.

"I'm serious. Don't tell anyone about this. It's just between us."

"Of course not. I could mail these to you."

She didn't respond for a moment, but then, "I don't think I'm as brave as you are."

Got it, I thought.

"It's okay. Don't stress." I grabbed her hand pulled it up and kissed it. "You go and do whatever you need to do. This was amazing and I will never forget it. I mean it. I got to fall in love with you for a weekend, and I'm grateful for that."

The word "love" seemed to make her very tense.

"Go," I said, releasing her, "Go back. Don't worry. He doesn't know. He's not even awake yet."

She nodded, turned, and walked out.

Hours later, I picked up my phone and thought about sending the Anais Nin quote, but I decided it was putting too much pressure on her. So, I deleted it.

Maybe some connections are so intense, I thought, they can only happen once. Or, it occurred to me, maybe this was about her discovering she liked women, but not about me in particular. I stared at the crumpled bridesmaid dress discarded on the floor. I closed my eyes and tried to let it go.

Then my phone buzzed. Ji-Yeon's text read. "I'm still here. Dave left without me."

My heart thrummed in my throat. An ocean's roar swelled in my ears.

"Coffee? There's a Starbucks across the street." I shot back.

It seemed to take an eternity, but finally, the reply came.

"Yes. I'd like that."