All Comments on 'Brodricksburg Pt. 02'

Another exciting chapter.

Boyd

This story is exciting when will we find out if Carrie is cheating on Brian and when will Brian be cracking some heads open ?

Pat

Atlanta,Ga

Why he told about his suspicions to his wife before he had the proof of her cheating. He is a fucking police detective and you shown him like a clown.

A good foundation when you've made your research and know what you're talking about makes for a good story. Much, much better than most any other story here. I'm a little surprised it was filed under Loving Wives though.

The story and writing are of an exceptional level for an amateur! If you aren't thinking of becoming a professional writer, you should!

Looking forward to the rest of the story, K.K.

most of the time, the 1st chapter would be the most interesting. not w/ this series. great job.

Tightly scripted and well paced. Exactly what a "Detective Story" should be! Best evidence - I can't wait for the next chapter.

....was drawn here by the comments about the detective angle. Okay, I'll be honest. It's a great story, but cheating or no cheating, I'd file for divorce the second I was slapped with a restraining order. It's an insult, for her to have the courts keep him out of his own house and to treat him like a stalker, simply because he has understandable doubts about his wife's fidelity. Wouldn't you, if someone called you up out of the blue, and always seemed to have her facts straight? Such conduct on the wife's part would only increase my paranoia and suspicion, but maybe that's just me. Especially I'd be wondering what she has to hide, that she doesn't want me around. If she were truly having issues with the suspicion (which the sexlessness would only exacerbate), she should ask him to go with her to couples' therapy. Trial separations are not the answer to nagging doubts about marital fidelity....IMHO....yeah, cheating or no cheating, I'd lose respect and trust for her the moment that she hit me with a restraining order. I'd give her what she wanted...she wouldn't ever have to see me again....and then she has the nerve to go to his place, which he wouldn't need if she hadn't kicked him out of theirs (and what else is the restraining order but kicking him out of the house)....she constantly puts him in danger of being arrested for violating the very order that she sought....no, I wouldn't trust her anymore....cheating or no cheating....I'd be too incensed with her to stay married to her...I wouldn't want to stay in a marriage with a woman whose answer to every issue is a trial separation and a restraining order...not to mention depriving him of sex...fascinating mystery work, however....but I'd have to wonder if she was cheating, just with someone else...from how she behaved...to quote the Bard, "The lady doth protest too much, methinks."

...on the AH.

The guy is a great detective, etc, etc, but he can't figure out that the mysterious caller is trying to set him up?

Other than that, great story!

I'm strugglingto overcome my disapointment in our main character, the "detective". No caller id? He is a cop. Just have the phone company check where the call came from. Also, he keeps reacting to these calls as if it is gospel being told to him. I'd love to be a tele-marketer on the other end of his phone. The only way he can look ok now is if Carrie IS cheating. As the story started, I liked both Carrie and the "detective. Now I'm not sure of either one of them.

Even with my pissin and moanin, I'll look forward to the next installment.

is cheating

By the wife's completely over-the-top reaction to his questions. She is supposedly a reasonably intelligent paralegal, and still decides to fuel his fears/suspicions by her silly reaction??? Not in my book, and completely spoiled the story for me.

Another brain dead woman, and from KK.

AND, it's not even a sub plot essential to the story!

it surprises me that KK chose to invested DOZENS of hours in a story (he calls it a "mystery"!! lol) that didn't amount to much of any thing.... it's not a good cheating story; it's not a good "mystery" story ("mystery", by the way, means NO ONE COULD SOLVE it!, otherwise it is NOT a "mystery", won't be called one if it is a solvable thing, is it?, think about it!).... it's not much of a story of any kind......

i love it good work!

would end the marriage for me. I agree with Severusmax when he says, "I'd be too incensed with her to stay married to her...I wouldn't want to stay in a marriage with a woman whose answer to every issue is a trial separation and a restraining order ..." I'd go even further. The wife flat-out lied about being at meetings she wasn't at. Lies lead to lack of trust and lack of trust leads to the end of the marriage. Most of the really great authors here on Lit seem to have a blind spot that leads them to put some clanger in their stories that takes the reader's focus away from the story and shifts it to the clanger. It doesn't change the fact that the story is still terrific. It does detracts from the enjoyment as the clanger is just hanging there throughout the story and is usually never resolved. It isn't in this one either. No reason is ever given. Oh well. Phil

I find this is a good read though the husband and wife don’t seem to fit two people who really communicate well.<p>Looking forward to the next chapters.<p>PT

tYPICAL WELL WRITTEN STORY BY K.K. BUT THE HUSBAND-WIFE SUBSET IS NOT INTERESTING ENOUGH TO MAINTAIN READERS INTEREST. THE MYSTERY IS INTERESTING BUT CARRIE'S FAITHFULNESS OR LACK OF SAME IS KIND OF AN (OH BY THE WAY) IN K.K.'S STORY. AS IT'S WRITTEN SO FAR, WHO REALLY CARES WHETHER SHE'S CHEATING OR NOT.

60 YEAR OLD GEORGE

It appears I was wrong about the wife. Now her decision to separate just seems odd. It seems that if he would simply apologize for his behavior, explain to her that he figured out that the mysterious phone calls were designed to get him in trouble, that she would forgive him and take him back. I don't see the need for them to still be apart. Still, five stars. This is awesome writing.

I'm still not sure she's all ok.

Maybe she isn't cheating, but maybe she's in on the scam?

Maybe we're getting a little mis-direction before all the dirty laundry comes out.

It will be interesting to see how Carrie reacts to the truth that her boss set her up -

I'm leaving this in, because it WAS my thought at the time, though as my second paragraph indicates, I had further thoughts! He should give her three choices: give a reasonable explanation for what SEEMS to be going on; see a counselor to work on their problems; or get a divorce. Ceding all control to her is counter-productive.

I’m guessing that the caller is trying to either distract Brian or get him in trouble. The Munt St meeting WAS probably legitimate, and the CALLER was who called in the prowler complaint trying to get him in trouble.

What do you mean, mystery means "No one could solve it"?

The whole idea of a mystery IS to solve it!

we keep spinning in circles.

it's too bad the detective is such a weak and wimpy character with minimal detecting skills.

Since her husband had told her about the anonymous phone calls from the woman, she could easily have avoided their grief and their ultimate separation by going out of her way to be open and fully co-operative with him to prove that she was NOT doing anything wrong .... but NO... she just HAD to be a fucking bonehead and FORCE him to believe that there might be some truth to those phone calls. She knows that he's a detective and how it's natural for him to be suspicious about the evidence so if those calls were nothing but b.s., she wouldn't be balking and holding back about answering his questions. Stupid women make their own trouble, do ignorant things that ruin their own situations and then look for someone else to blame it on.

It's a decent story but I hate the marital stupidity that distracts her detective husband from focusing on his job and can end up getting him killed. If she's innocent of fucking around, how would she feel about having his partner tell her that SHE was the cause of his being DEAD??

When a marriage is in trouble, there are two options: (1) both parties team up to work the problem out; (2) Separation. The first option is like a stairway. You can take one step at a time toward Divorce. But you also have the time and options of turning around and work your way back down to the point where your marriage went bad and try to work your way through it, with patience, understanding, trust, and compromise. Your second choice is nothing note or less than a high speed elevator to Divorce with no stops or alternatives.

Cuck shit.

1*

It's funny, as in ODD, that the wife says she separated because she couldn't stand the fighting. It's odd because she was the one starting the fights. Her husband had every reason in the world to ask where she was, especially since he's getting phone calls telling him she's lying to him and having an affair. She responded poorly, using the old "don't you trust me?" cliche instead of telling him what was going on.

This separation is her fault and could cause her a lot of grief except that she's married to another cliche we see too often: the pitiful husband who loves his wife SO MUCH that he can't live without her - so he licks her boots instead of standing on his feet and demanding equality. She became more irrational with each question; I guess the husband is supposed to keep his mouth shut and do everything she tells him.

I'm also beginning to believe he's a wimp - he's a cop, but can't even approach a house without getting caught? He can't keep an eye on anyone without getting caught? Sure, the GPS gave him away - so what? Isn't he smart enough to use a different car? Laughable.

Neither Carrie nor Brian would have handled the "potential cheating" as you wrote these last two parts of the story. They are mature, dedicated, loyal adults. They would have sought compromise and understanding, not picked a fight.

Their discussion might boiled down to "you're bumping up against a very sensitive investigation" and "I'm trying to preserve confidentiality for my employer", though Carrie wouldn't have ever tried to hide behind the pseudo-meetings that started the problem. She also would have warned Brian before getting a restraining order.

Finally, Brian would have called some favors if he absolutely needed to monitor Carrie, and he would have worked hard to identify the female caller with phone number look-up/records check, etc. The female caller would be a big red flag to his investigation, i.e. who is trying to sabotage me (or even set me up to get caught cheating) and what I'm working on.

Ya I know... you had to do something so it's LW and not in the NE category.

So instead of talking to him, and asking him to stop stalking her and have some patience, she just got a restraining order, something that will be quite a black mark on his career since it's permanently a part of court records.

She acted like quite the bitch.

He should still be angry about that, not just acting almost subservient.

Umm.I don´t know wht I bother to write here if Litoretica doesn´t publish my comments. Anyway I just had to mention something that has been on my mind since the start of the story. f this detective is as smart as he seems to be. Why hasn´t he recorded any of the calls and played them back to his wife? Maybe she might recognize the voice.

I still am of the opinion that Carrie is fucking the commissioner even though he is reputed to be queer. FIVE*****

Except we have established he’s a genius detective with high level training who investigated his wife with the competency of a 10 year old. And by the way, he should dump that cunt wife of his. What a bitch.

Up to a four now

A good mystery story but on the wrong site. This story would be more appropriate on an online mystery story magazine.

Then vs Than is just one example

It makes your story hard to read

Great story. Good mystery and conspiracy plot.

Aha, lots of bad guys and not many Good Guys. I am wondering if one of them is wearing a large S on his costume under his suit. 4*s.

He could have had a PI investigate his wife and put that issue to rest. Ditto some of the other suspects. Having Ross on his "6", when preventable, is VERY POOR TRADECRAFT.