All Comments on 'Broken Ch. 01'

Heavy stuff - definitely for grown-ups! Thank you and please bring us more, Five stars.

I can absolutely understand her lack of resistance in this situation. Loved the beginning and am looking forward to more.

Not a slight resistance from Sarah! When she got caught it's understandable to be in a shock n b afraid! It's a nice build up to the story but to describe a person going through torture with out any kind of resistance I don't called that breaking the will! Put more detail into it hav the dr struggle to break get down which they'll do eventually in their training! Show Sarah fighting before she's shown her place where she becomes a total controlled obedient slave!! U haven't mentioned her age??

This is a dark story. I hope you know where you are going with it.

The start of this story had potential...but at the end of the first part there is nothing here that's even a little sexy. You have the control part down - now where's the pleasure?

I stopped reading after 7 paragraphs. Once The second female had tape on her mouth and then a paragraph or so later her mouth was wide open, you lost me.

Make your details consistent to keep my interest.

You forget when you read these stories, it's not about you, it's about the characters and the author that is writing. These stories are posted for others to enjoy.

There doesn't have to be any sex, nor any pleasure. You can see the character is thinking and analyzing herself. She IS taking pleasure in the nourishment she is receiving, the bathing and sleep. The small kindness she is receiving at this point is enjoyable to her. She is being trained.

~ Shai

I enjoyed this story!! Can't wait until the 2nd chapter!! :)

The way you laid things out was just so rushed and really bored me. Add some detail, short sentences are nice and all but long and detailed ones can be just as interesting. The equivalent of your first couple of paragraphs were "It was night time. There was a leaf on her shoe. She fell. She was sedated. She woke up somewhere unfamiliar." Add some life to your stories! Don't be afraid to experiment :)