Broken Dancer

"Was", said Diane. "I was a dancer."

"But you still know what I mean, don't you? I mean, her hips were like they had a life all their own."

"She wasn't moving her hips", said Diane. "She was using her knees to make them look that way. It's called Cuban motion."

Rich stroked his chin.

"Cuban motion, huh? I seem to remember my instructor saying something about that, but I'm not sure I really caught on to what he was saying. Does it look like this?"

Rich stepped forward with his left foot, then brought his right about a shoulder's width away and parallel with his left, then closed his left foot to his right. Diane chuckled.

"Well, that's the first half of the rumba basic, but it was pretty stiff. You need to loosen up a lot."

Rich smiled, partly because Diane didn't sound mad and partly because he thought maybe his plan would work.

"What does that mean, 'loosen up'?"

"It means you look like your knees don't work and you're just stiff-legging it. You need to use your knees to make your hips move like they're supposed to."

Rich faked a frown.

"That's what my instructor kept saying. Maybe you could show me what you...oh...I forgot. You won't try to stand up, will you? That's a real shame. It'd be a real thrill to dance with a professional one of these days."

Rich had been watching Diane's face while he talked, and thought he saw her frown change when he said he'd like to dance with her. Her question confirmed that she was thinking about what he'd said.

"Are you just saying that to get me to try, or do you really mean it?"

Rich scratched his head.

"Well, both I suppose, but I really would like to dance with you."

"Do you really think I could dance again?"

Rich leaned forward and put his hand on Diane's.

"Diane, I can't promise you'll be a great dancer again, but I've worked with a lot of people over the last five years who were in worse shape than you. They learned to walk again well enough they didn't show any signs of being injured. If you can do that, you should be able to dance. As my instructor once said, dancing is just walking to music. What I can promise is to do everything I can to help you if you'll help yourself."

Diane felt a tear stream down her cheek. She wiped it away and then looked at Rich. For the first time, Rich saw a glimmer of hope in her eyes.

"What would I have to do?"

Over the next two weeks, Rich worked with Diane to put some strength back into her legs. At first, the exercises were just trying to lift her legs. It hurt Diane to try that, but Rich helped her at first by lifting some of the weight. He also worked on returning flexibility to her legs by bending them at the ankle, knee, and hip. These exercises caused some pain as well, at first, but as she gained a little muscle strength and flexibility, Diane felt something else.

She and Jack had never been intimate, and though he'd touched her in a lot of places, those touches didn't cause her to have any feelings about them other than trying to follow his lead. With Rich, it was different.

Rich would hold her ankle with one hand and her thigh just above the knee with his other and then push them together to stretch the muscles. The muscles stretched, but Diane was more aware of Rich's hands. His touch was gentle, like she imagined a lover's touch would be, and he didn't force her to bend her knee. He just helped her do so.

As she progressed, Rich would often run his hands over her legs to check for muscle tone. He was as professional about doing that as the doctors who had examined her before, but to Diane, Rich's touch made her tingle. She didn't know if it was because her legs were bare or if it was because Rich was so gentle, but once the pain diminished she began to feel those tingles every time he touched her.

As her muscles regained strength, the shape of her legs began to return. Diane was pleased at that. The scars were still there, but not quite as pink as before, and the sensuous curves she'd once cased in nylon showed her she was really getting better, just like Rich said she would.

On the third week, Rich started feeling her calf muscles, but then looked at Diane and chuckled.

"You've been busy, haven't you?'

Diane grinned.

"You mean because I'm not all hairy? I asked the nurse for a razor and shaved when I took my bath. I didn't like being all hairy."

Rich grinned back.

"If I wasn't your therapist, I'd say you have some great legs there."

Diane felt a thrill a little like when she'd danced. She didn't think Rich cared about anything except her leg muscles, but he must be a regular man if he thought that.

"It's OK, you can say that. It was nice that you noticed."

Rich had noticed. He'd been noticing her legs as well as the rest of Diane for the past several weeks. He'd had to try hard to remain professional, but there was really no option. Doing anything else would have posed the threat to the convalescent home of a lawsuit, and to him, probable loss of his license and maybe even jail time. Rich decided that, based on her saying she hoped he'd noticed, a small compliment probably wouldn't be misinterpreted and might help with Diane's self esteem.

"I always notice if a woman has sexy legs. I think a lot of other men are going to notice once you're up and walking around. I'm also thinking it's time to get you up and doing just that. You're not up to full strength yet, but you're strong enough to get started with a walker."

Rich walked to one side of the room and came back pushing a black walker. He grinned as he positioned the walker in front of Diane.

It doesn't have racing stripes and it's not turbo-charged, but it's the best we have. Let's get you up out of that wheelchair. I locked the brake, so grab the handles and pull yourself up while you push with your legs."

Diane did try, but she couldn't get her body in a position that would let her do what Rich asked. She looked up at him.

"Could you help me, at least until I figure this out?"

"I suppose I can, but you have to push with your legs as well as let me lift you."

Rich pushed the walker to the side and then positioned himself in front of Diane.

"Put your hands on my shoulders and pull with your arms and push with your legs when I raise back up."

When Rich straightened up, Diane pulled herself out of the wheel chair. Things hadn't gone exactly as Rich had planned though. He'd intended for her to pull herself upright and then stand there while me moved the walker back in front of her. Instead, she pulled herself against his chest. Rich felt her breasts pressing into his chest and her cheek against his.

Diane hadn't intended for that to happen either, but she didn't want to put any more of her weight on her legs than she had to so she'd pulled up as hard as she could. When she felt herself pressed tight against Rich she was first embarrassed and then shocked to feel a little tingle race through her body and tighten her core. She knew she was blushing when she said, "Sorry. I guess I pulled too hard."

As gently as he could, he lifted her hands from his shoulders.

"No problem. You can hold on while I put the walker back in front of you, but just enough to stay balanced, OK?."

Rich reached to the side and pulled the walker closer, then eased away from Diane and slid it between them.

"OK, Diane, put your hands on the handles and use your arms to hold enough of your weight you can still move your legs."

Diane did as he asked and was surprised that she didn't really have to use her arms as much as she'd thought. She was standing up and holding most of her weight on her legs and it didn't hurt.

Rich stepped back and grinned.

"You look a lot better standing up than sitting down."

Diane smiled.

"Thank you, I guess. What do I do now?"

"Let's just try to get you used to moving your legs a little. Remember the rumba basic? That's what we're going to do."

"You want me to dance?"

"Well, it won't really be dancing, but the steps will be the same and it'll get you used to the feel of the walker. Come on, right foot back a little, then left foot to the side, then close. Let me see you do that much."

Diane tentatively stepped back half a step. It didn't hurt, so she took the side step and shifted her weight to her left foot, then closed with the right. She felt a few little twinges as she shifted her weight from one foot to the other, but that's all they were, twinges and not pain.

Rich smiled when she looked up at him.

"See, you can do it. Now do the second half of the basic."

Diane stepped forward with her left foot, then to the side with her right, and then closed the left. She looked up at Rich and smiled.

"I did it."

"Yes you did. Was there any pain?"

"No, not really."

"Great. Now, just stand there for a minute while I do something."

Rich walked to a table next to the wall and picked up his cell phone. A few seconds later, a slow, latin rhythm song began playing. He came back grinning.

"If I remember right, this is the first song I learned to dance rumba to. That's what we're going to do today. Just do the basic without moving the walker. Oh, and take it easy on that Cuban motion thing. I don't want you stretching something that hasn't been stretched in a while."

The music was a lot slower than she'd usually danced to, but it was about right for Diane's weakened muscles. Even as slow as it was, for a few minutes she couldn't keep up and that frustrated her.

"You don't have to worry about my Cuban motion. I'm way too slow even for this."

"Nah. You're doing fine for someone who hasn't moved much in the last couple of months. Just keep trying."

Diane tried a couple more times and then frowned.

"I'm telling my legs to move, but they won't."

Rich smiled.

"You're thinking too much then. Tell you what we'll do. I'll stand in front of you like we were dancing and put my hand on your back. You won't be able to frame up with me, but I can lead quite a bit with just that one hand. My dance instructor said that's the hand that does most of the leading anyway."

Rich slipped his right hand under Diane's arm. He couldn't reach her shoulder because her arm was in the way, so he placed it on the small of her back.

"OK, here we go."

He waited for the start of a measure and then started the rumba basic step. As he moved, Diane's years of dance classes took over and she followed. Rich smiled to himself at the lines of determination in her face. She was really trying. After all the talk that she'd never walk again, she was really trying.

The song lasted another couple of minutes and then because Rich had set up his phone to repeat it, started again. For the next ten minutes, he stood in front of Diane and led her through the steps of the rumba. After five minutes, she was a little jerky in her movements, but she was keeping up with the tempo. By the end of the ten minutes, Diane was moving her body as well as just her legs. It wasn't true Cuban motion, but he could imagine how she'd once looked when dancing.

Diane concentrated on moving her feet for the first few minutes. After that, she fell into the rhythm of the music and they seemed to move by themselves. She knew she wasn't moving gracefully, but she was moving. Even though she was basically just standing in one spot, it felt good to be feeling the tempo of the music and moving with it. Maybe Rich had been right all along and someday she would be able to dance again.

Rich stopped moving, slipped his hand from her back, then went to the table and stopped the music. He was grinning when he came back.

"That's enough for today, but you did great. How did it feel?"

Diane smiled, something he'd not seen in all the days he'd worked with her.

"I don't know. It felt good to be moving with the music, but it was frustrating to not be able to move more."

"That'll come, Diane. Your body hasn't been doing much for a long time and it needs to get stronger. The exercises we did helped, but your muscles have to get strong enough to support all your weight. Give it some time and we'll get you there. Now, let's get you back into your wheel chair. Just put your hand on my shoulders like before."

Diane didn't know if she was weak from the exercises or what, but after she had one hand on Rich's shoulder and started to put the other one there, her right leg buckled. She shrieked and instinctively grabbed for Rich. She ended up with her arms around his neck. She felt her breasts pressing into his chest and the walker pressing into her tummy.

Rich hadn't expected her to fall, so he wasn't prepared to catch her like he would any other patient. Like Diane, his reaction was instinctive. He caught her under the arms and that pressed her even tighter against his chest.

For a few moments, neither moved because they were both surprised. Then, Diane apologized as she moved one hand at a time from Rich's neck to his shoulders.

"Sorry about that, but I started to fall down."

"No problem, Diane. I caught you. Let me get this walker out of the way and then sit you down."

After the nurse wheeled Diane back to her room, Rich had another hour before his next patient. He spent most of that hour thinking about Diane.

She was different than his other patients somehow. It wasn't her age. He'd worked with young people before who had sports injuries or who, like Diane, had been injured in an accident of some sort. He'd had to catch a few, just like he'd caught Diane, but he'd never before had the feeling he'd had with her. That bothered him a lot. He was a professional and a professional would have only felt the satisfaction of helping his patient learn to walk. He'd felt a lot more than he should have.

What bothered him so much was the way she'd felt pressed tight against his chest. That was exciting, but wasn't what caused the feeling. The feeling was one of wanting her to stay like that, her arms around his neck and her body pressed tight against him. He'd have to be careful that didn't happen again or he'd lose the ability to objectively evaluate her progress and decide what to do next.

He started that just before the nurse took Diane back to her room. He told her he wouldn't need to check her for muscle tone again and to start wearing street clothes to their sessions instead of the hospital gowns. At least if he had to touch her, street clothes would offer a little more material between them than the filmy hospital gowns.

That night as Diane lay in her bed trying to fall asleep, that afternoon came back to her. She hadn't intended to fall and she hadn't intended to end up so close to Rich. It had all been because of her weak legs, but that didn't change how she'd felt. The exercises had brought back memories of dancing with Jack and the fact that she was actually moving had made her feel good about herself. Having her breasts pressing into Rich's chest had made her feel something else. It was a feeling of wanting to be there, snug against his muscles with his arms around her.

I was just excited because I was standing up, and I was thankful he caught me, she told herself, but her mind didn't believe that. It didn't believe when she decided she just had those feelings because Rich was trying so hard to help her. She finally fell asleep trying to convince her mind that she hadn't had those feelings at all.

For the next week, Rich had Diane doing the rumba basic standing in one place. After two days, she was able to get up from the wheelchair by herself and Rich was thankful for that. If he didn't have to help her, he didn't have to touch her, and if he didn't have to touch her, she became almost just another patient. The memory of her body against his sometimes changed that, but he shook it off.

After that week, Rich started Diane taking small steps as she pushed the walker along. For two days she had difficulty coordinating her movements. Rich knew that was because she hadn't walked in over two months, but he thought he had a way to help her. On Wednesday of that week, he watched her struggle to get one foot in front of the other, then stopped her.

"What you need is a way to get everything working together. Let's try an idea I had last night."

Rich picked up his cell phone from the table and tapped the screen twice. The music of a slow waltz filled the room. He turned back to Diane.

"You remember how to waltz?"

"Yes, but I don't know if I'm fast enough yet."

"Let me lead you and we'll see."

Rich took the same position as he had with the rumba.

"I'll walk backwards this time. Ready?"

Her first steps were faltering and Rich had to hold Diane up a little, but she soon found the rhythm and began walking. She was stiff and she was slow, but she was following him down the floor of the room. When then reached the wall, Rich guided Diane to turn the walker around and started back.

Diane felt the music stir her muscles into the familiar steps of the waltz, and after a dozen of those steps was thrilled to be moving in time with the music. After two laps of the room, she was keeping up with the music. It was a very slow waltz, slower than any she'd ever danced to, but she was keeping up and it felt almost like she was really dancing with Rich. The slight pressure on the small of her back kept her moving forward, just like it had when she danced with Jack. By the end of the session, she was even bending her knees a little on the right counts to move her body up and down. She knew she wasn't smooth and she wasn't graceful, but she was doing it.

After that day, Diane worked hard at learning how to walk again. After a week, she used the walker to go back and forth between her room and the therapy room. In another week, Rich surprised her with a pair of crutches.

"You don't need the walker anymore. Give these a try. You'll be able to get around faster."

Diane practiced with the crutches by walking up and down the corridors of the convalescent home, and a week later, Rich told her he was releasing her to go home. She'd still need some help learning how to walk by herself, but she'd only see him once a week instead of every day.

Diane was happy to be back in her apartment. She could do what she wanted, when she wanted, and not be bound by the schedule of the convalescent home. She was also lonely. Jack hadn't even sent her a card, much less visited or called since that last day he'd come to the convalescent home. She guessed what Rich had said was right. Jack was more interested in his dance career than in her. She spent a lot of time reflecting on that, and shed more than a few tears knowing that while she might dance again one day, she'd never be able to interest another man in partnering with her. That understanding caused her to feel more alone.

After the first day, Diane realized she wasn't so much lonely as much as she missed seeing Rich every day. The bright spot of her week became her trip to the convalescent home to work with Rich. It was a break in the boring hours of sitting at home and watching television programs or reading a book. The first week, he started her out walking with the aid of parallel bars that ran along one wall. She had trouble until he played the same slow waltz on his cell phone. Then, everything seemed to fall into place.

When she could keep up with the waltz, Rich played a slow foxtrot and encouraged her into the slow-slow-quick-quick steps of that dance. It took Diane two more weeks, but after that, she could do those steps by holding on to the parallel bars to maintain her balance, but without using her arms to hold herself up. Rich gave her a cane at the end of that session and told her she didn't need the crutches anymore.

"The cane will help you maintain your balance, but you probably won't need it much. Try it out this week and let me know next week if you're having any problems."