All Comments on 'Broken Days Ch. 02'

Like the way you're taking it slow with them. Try to lay off the babyish bit a little. He's a grown man not a child.

Not quite sure how Zach managed to get into Mark's house in the first place though and how he found out about the accident and found him anyway

Ah I like that babyish stuff, I think it tells more about Mark.

Great, looking forward to 3rd one

Maybe a bit longer chapters? And yeah kind of wondered about the same as last commenter.maybe more sbout car that was broken, his relationship with dad?

Yes, Noah is babying Mark a bit, but it'll die down as Mark gets a hold of life. He's quite the emotional character, you see.

And it'll all be explained, once again, when Mark calms down a little. He's still a bit shaken by everything. And I'll try to elongate the chapters ^^"

Thanks for the feedback from the last chapter and this one, it allows me to do better on the next one :)

~ShadowWriter96

Why was his whole suit still on in the morning lol. I am sure he'd have taken off the suit jacket before getting in bed. How did Zach find him? He told Noah he had no one to call and then told him about Zach, so I don't think Noah called him. I think a beta reader can point out holes like that which might be best answered to smooth a story out. Maybe say that Zack showed up and said he'd heard about the accident from someone who passed by and saw Mark's car. Just have it flow a bit better. my next question is why the trip for clothes at the mall...not some clothes to wear to go to the house, but a small wardrobe? wouldn't that make Mark ask what he wanted in return for that?

The thing that I would question is that Noah took care of him naturally. He seemed to be the type who would take things in hand and Mark, who admits to needing this, didn't fight it. I can't imagine he'd walk away when this Zach just tried to hurt him for a second time and Mark is clearly in no shape to defend himself. When he leaves, Zach will most likely come back and finish the job. I am surprised at minimum that Noah didn't give him his number so he could call if he needed help.

I enjoyed the image of him flipping Zach. That guy needs a beat down big time! Hope to learn more about Noah.

Please write more! This is the cutest thing I've ever read! I'm loving how protective Noah is!

I neeeeeeeed u

Are you done with it?

I just read this and would definitely like a 3rd chapter. But with Zach I don't know how he found out about the accident. Also I don't understand why Noah would just leave Mark after all that caring. Zach still remains a huge risk to Mark, and could've easily killed him tbh... But other than that the story is super hot and well written.