All Comments on 'Broken Defence'

Good story!

4

Fantastic. 5*

Probably the best story I‘ve ever read here. Thank you for that.

5 stars - For some reason that escapes me - I liked this story.

However, there was waaay tooo much football discussion and not enough relationship interaction.

Excellent! A sensitive topic handled with all due sensitivity. More such please.

Well written story. Lots of football (?). So many english idioms it was a bit difficult for an American to read actually. Didn't really get the feeling of romance from Holly as much as her fragile mental health. i felt like he was a bit of a masochist in light of how she dumped him and mistreated him. Given her apparently well documented sexual history in the US, after not giving it up to him before she left, it was hard to understand his continued attraction to her.

Really enjoyed it, got too sex heavy toward the end but that's just me. And it is psychic.

Excellent work. Thanks for sharing!

Wow, thanks for the comments everyone - on here and directly. I’m glad the story was well received by so many people. Reading it back through, I definitely would have changed a few things (I can’t believe I missed ‘physic’ in my proofread!) but I’m happy with it overall. I hope that those who didn’t like it find some enjoyment from my other/future stories.

V

Great story thanks for writing

Good story, but he should have moved on once she dumped him to fuck her way across the US. ⭐⭐⭐⭐1/2

Anonymous user - what was your comment? Sorry you found it that bad!

Womens soccer as basis for a story is, daring. Only thing more boring night be women's soccer itself.

He should never given the twatty bitch another moment's thought once she dumped him to fuck her way across the USA. And stayed the hell away from her after she came back... Yeah, I know. No story then, LOL.

I really like your writing! All of your stories have been gold, please keep submitting.

great story - really, really, really good!!!

I'll be different than the recent comments. Great setting. Loved the story and the build. Handled the mental illness side sympathetically, and normalised it. I found it an engaging romantic story, and I liked the character development. Sure, a little formulaic in some ways, but it's erotica, there's some conventions you have to follow....

I think this is one of the top 5 stories I have read here. Your writing was smooth and comfortable, the build up was well paced, and you handled a controversial topic of mental illness brilliantly.

It don’t recall if it mentioned a wedding or an engagement, however.

Well done.

Thanks for the praise MrLuvAll. No wedding or engagement took place during the story (though Tom imagined what it would be like). In my mind they probably go off and get married after the tournament.

Wow! A pleasure to read. The suspense between Tom and Holly's relationship was well crafted and developed. You skillfully wove the loss and regaining of the love between the two. Your ending was perfect. An author I know, mentioned in an interview that if you can't stop reading a story until the end, it is a work of art. I couldn't stop reading your story until I finished it. Thank you. K

This was an excellent story! For my taste the sex scenes were a bit over the top, but this is Literotica after all, so who is to complain! The effort you expended to deal with the difficult and often badly botched subject of mental illness and self-harm was rewarded with a compassionate and realistic view that was neither condescending nor dehumanizing. Overall, a great lost and found tale with utterly believable characters and an interesting backdrop. 5 stars!

Great story with a lot of subtlety and depth of characterisation. I really enjoyed it and thank you for sharing.

Really enjoyed the read from many aspects (sport commitment, parental problems, disjointed relationships, mental health and so on). There are some lessons here however. It could be much more streamlined. Reads a little like the author just got the text out very quickly without reflection. Rewriting sections is painful but oftentimes an improvement.

What a bunch of incompetent these English.

Apart from watching football in pubs, they have become proponents of the cuckold style and also watch their wives with other men.

Fortunately, the Yanks were able to transform this charming woman into a big slut.

A gap year in the US should be compulsory for all English women.

Pussy whipped wimpy MC and a skank footballer

Good story but had a hard time understanding the soccer language and understanding the importance of the games. Someone coming to the US to play soccer is not very convincing versus Europe.

Mixed feelings after finishing this one. In many ways, this reads like some kind of ultimate wish fulfillment about the one who got away and slept with a lot of people, but not you. It's especially noticeable in the sex scenes, which are more pornographic than erotic in my view. Not that my opinion is of any weight.

I really enjoyed the read, well written for sure, besides the previously mentioned issues. I found it emotional and believable. It did turn me off because she left a virgin and came back a slut who fucked everything under the sun. Incredible turnoff. It's like fucking a whore, just why? Killed the romance of the sex scenes for me, sorry.

damn, ignore the hate. i did hesitate a bit with the idea of her coming back after celeb debauchery, but a) she clarified it was only with partners, b) tom's sexcapades weren't mentioned but were obviously there, c) (last but not least) it's up to the person what they're fine with

i absolutely loved the care taken with her issues

Wonderful story. Have no idea why people care what her sexual history was in America. They weren't together. She left when she was 19. She learned that she really liked sex and yet she pined over her lost love. She had a sexual side to her that she never got to explore with Tom in a loving relationship because of their early relationship dynamic and then leaving for the US. She was torn about leaving him. As she said in his flat, it should have been his equipment and only his. She fantasized about him. Yes some of her behavior that 8 years was destructive to herself. Think of it as a form of "cutting" herself. She lost the only man she would truly love. Tom could have fought for her and swayed her to stay but did not want her to have regrets and wanted her to live her dream. What hurt was being cut out of her life. She built a wall around her heart to survive. She felt enormous guilt. Was depressed on and off those many years. They had a weird relationship where where they becamse long distance soul mates, telling each other things they never told anyone else. He had commitment issues because of his childhood. He would have just liked to leave her amicably. She was 19 and thought she was being smart and finding a way to sever the relationship where he woukd not pine for her. She hated what she did not knowing that he knew as it happened. Yes during her time in America she got into bad relationships. Sex was inevitable. What you thought she would stay a virgin? She learned that she is hypersexual. The more emotionally intimate with a partner the better the sex. Some guys probably took advantage of that but again her own perception received self esteem was wounded. She was in a pressure cooker under the public eye and sex was a way to let off steam. Seeing as she only ever truly lived Tom but thought he hated her, she was trapped in an emotional vise. Then she was betrayed by her ex after a bad split. What she kept hidden, had come to light and she was constantly being cyber bullied. She had to get out of America. Only to end up in the UK close to Tom. She didn't know. Being close to him, wad tearing her apart and she fell back into old habits. She has a mental health disorder and Tom at a critical stage really helped her through it. Why do you think she was so worried and crushed when he all but rejected her by being himself overwhelmed. He became her friend, confidante, and emotional lover. Heck they sexted a lot. Before they could have physical sex, the offer to America showed up. It wasn't her seascapes that hurt Tom. He had some of his own experiences I am sure. Yes no man wants to think about it and the video was I am sure painful, but way less painful than whatbthe video meant to her. A breach of trust. A perception that because she gave herself to the man she was with that she is some depraved slut. All her negative psychological problems came back and she was close to killing herself or at least hurting herself bad enough that he career woukd be over. What hurt him the worst was her pretending as if he didn't k ow him. It was her barrier defense mechanism. She couldn't stand the thought of him being nice to her m, yet unable to be with him. Since she hated herself, how could he not hater her? In the end, Tom was a loving, patient man, who helped Holly to heal. He had always been her emotional rock, but for 8 years she thoughtshe had lost that. Her responses when first coming back were of someone who had been abused (cyberbullying is abuse) and loathing herself. Tom's love for her and providing am emotional safe harbor was wonderful to see as it got Holly back to being the real Holly. And who cares up about her "slut" past. Now she is in a positive life affirming relationship and the sex is the best they have had for the both of them, because Holly completely gives herself to Tom with an unbelievable passion, while Tom makes her feel safe and trusted and loved and accepts who the real Holly is. And now they get to live happily ever after. Wonderful story about vulnerability, depression, and the rejuvenating power of love.

The story was well written and the spelling/grammar was fine. The content was weak however. Basically she leaves for the States hoping for the good life, it doesn’t work out partly because she sluts around. She then returns to London, does a number on the guy who has loved her for years and has a major pity party. The pitiful thing is, he takes it all and even forgives her. Sorry but really ?

Not gonna rate because I can't rate this fairly since I didn't really give it a chance. The moment I read that she left and slept around the US is what prevented me from even giving it a chance. So I mostly got my info from the comments, regardless if I was with someone and they left and got ran through for 8 years idrc who you or what your reasons are we won't be getting back together. Especially if the entire internet blew up over said stuff. Pretty lame tbh

Well enough written to merit a good rating in my opinion. Unfortunately the whole thing hinges on a self-indulgent slut and a gormless jerk as main characters. Simply ghastly.

Too many people don't seem to understand this powerful story of overcoming all adversity.

The Hoary Cleric, not a member.

4 star it was alright my bias is against it. But objectively speaking you made a masterpiece centered around never give up never give in. That said I don’t know how he would be able to see the love of his life as being untainted after what she did to him . She chose her dream and screwed no telling how many men over his love for her. I don’t see realistically a person holding out hope or careing for someone so selfish irl, man or women trampling on women’s love for you is a no no