All Comments on 'Broken In Ch. 04'

I want Darrel to lock up Jarred's cock. He shouldn't be able to fuck anyone. Even with his girlfriend he should be the bottom. Although please refrain from using the words rape and victim.

After that, not so much. If you had written this one in more of the style of the first two, it would have been great. But this seemed more gratuitous and like you were rushing to finish.

Still hot in parts though.

The first couple chapters were depraved and raunchy enough and chapter 3 totally ruined the flow. This chapter was the worst depravity. I hate faggots like Darnell who force their bottom to do all the oral servicing without showing any appreciation for it back. When Jarred gave a rim job and Darnell wasn't man enough to return the favor appreciating the ass he was about to rape, I nearly quit reading. I wish I would have.

The whole taking a phone call during it and calling in on a bet he made and planning to pimp Jarred out was the last straw for me. Just because you get into someone's pants, doesn't give you the right to force them to hook up with strange men, especially since it sounds like it will be Darnell who keeps the profit for what Jarred is expected to do.

I wish Darnell would get righteous pay back, and that someone would get Jarred away from him

I liked this!

Wasn't a fan of part 3 but part 1, 2, and 4 were good.

You could be very good with practice. I hope you continue.

Having written this as a 'gay' story, chapter three was out-of-place. In addition, having taken on the theme of authoritarian (or dominant BBC, turning-out White, straight boy) in chapters 1 and 2, the ending of chapter 3 made no sense--portraying Darnell and Jared as a couple of players. If you wrote the story using chapters 1, 2, and 4, it would be pretty darn good. Chapter 4, however, seemed 'less developed' or 'rushed'. I totally enjoyed the dominance theme and Darnell's treatment of Jared: as a piece of meat, a sex-slave. I disagree with the critique bemoaning the lack of sexual reciprocity on the part of Darnell: this is generally the whole idea of dominance and submission. I hope you continue writing this sort of erotica, as you are obviously very talented. :)

Don't let anyone tell you how to write your own story!

For me it was different...being a black big dick 10hal inc man myself who love pussy as well as boypussy I personal jack off alots reading this series..[sorry guys) but this shit was hot...love it...I wouldnt have force him to submit becauce he wan it anyway.ch 03 was hot to me because in the end the bushes lady liz got turn out on dick too...THE TRUE LOVE OF BBC...dont knock it til you try it

Very hot. Such a turn on to be taken. Made me want to be Jared.

I'm a strong Black Daddy who has broken my share of sweet white boy asses. But beating the shit outta them, or even the threat is kinda uncool. Do you know how much more a white boy will WANT to be yours with a little tenderness. Jared is already a submissive bottom who thinks Darnell a god, just real him in gently, using your superior masculinity. Eating Jared's sweet tight pussy and sucking his cock before bitch fucking him(soul kissing him and sucking his nipples, missionary) that will turn a muthafucka truly out and have him ready to be your obedient BITCH for life

I need FUCKING! I'm a closeted divorced faggot, who crossdresses and I dream of black cock when I am dressed, but I'd TAKE IT naked as well. I want to be a bimbo slut in body and mind and this need has been grown stronger over the years. which stands in direct conflict with my (diminishing) masculinity and many other interests, but to hell with that.

I think I have found a group of black male friends who also share this desire for me to be their white sissy bimbo slut. I hope that soon I will be able to give them what they want. To this day I have never had a boyfriend, but cock looms very large in my mind.

I also want to fully embrace my femininity and become very focused on looking my prettiest and sexiest at all times.

My desires often run very extreme so I hope they will not stop USING me at any normal limits and will help me become the COCK SLUT I know I am.

I loved this serirs. It's very hot. I hope you keep it going I'd love to hear more about Darnell turning out big booty muscular straight guys and making his own harem of white pussyboys

I have to tell you from start of the first chapter to the last I was drawn in and mesmerized by the writing, the story line, the rendering of the characters so that they were far more than two dimensional. The sexual politics and physical image that you created combined with the dialogue made the erotic energy immediate, tangible, and as a reader I could swear that when I finished the story my mind smelled like sex, shame, and leather.

Very well written story. It was definitely hot af. Chapters 1 and 2 were the best with tempo and consistency. Chapter 3 was odd but kind of fun in that you were expanding on their friendship/romance and when Liz got her justice it was great. Now where u kind of lost me was in chapter 4. D had been aggressive in his wants and desires so far but never to the point of actually being abusive. That kind of thru the whole story off for me. He likes jarrod enough to spare his feelings in 3 but absolutely could give 2 shits in 4 and destroyed him. Just seemed like an odd tempo change. Great writing tho