Broken Seals Ch. 04

Then I felt it...all of it, from the two guys, POURING out of me, down into my buttcrack and spoiling his sheets. I was still riding high on the endorphins and normally I'd be mortified, but with everything that happened along with the release, I just let nature take its course. I had the sperm of two men inside of me. My boyfriend's penis was lubricated by his roommate's jizz. Who was I now? An evil nymphomaniac? Certainly at least a cheater: one of those girls. I put these questions out of my mind, remembering that I desperately needed to clean up.

"Sorry, that was a lot, wasn't it? I'd been saving it for a couple of days, didn't realize."

"Mmmm, yeah, me too," I lied.

After a bit of cleanup, Matt spooned me and I let myself have a little sweet time with him before remembering the time and day, and that I really needed to go home soon. I stood up to get dressed.

"When can I see you again?" He asked me that almost every time. It was pretty nice to hear at first, but as I started to feel smothered, it sounded more and more plaintive, even if the words and sounds didn't change at all. I mumbled something about seeing me on campus, then we'd see about the weekend.

Matt and I started arguing more after that. With that emotional hammer coming down I cooled things off with Ro, and we managed to only hook up one more time after that before I told him it was over. I did it over text; it was a long text on my part, explaining exactly why the best thing was for us to not try to see each other anymore: the risks involved with Matt, the risks involved with knocking me up... His response twenty minutes after I sent it: "Yeah, I don't wanna fuck up what you got."

BITCH!? Fuck up what I got?! I'm trying not to get your roommate to hate you but it's about what I got?

I scolded myself a lot in the aftermath for letting Ro fuck me without a condom; not only was he bad at pulling out, but I knew based on who and how he was that there had to be other random girls he had in these weird, marginal relationships. Despite that, he never, not once, brought it up. But to be fair, during that brief fling, neither did I.

Dropping them both at the same time was pretty hard, but I felt like I wanted to get my life back on track socially and academically. Being with Matt was draining, and having such a weird affair with Ro was even more so. I was also getting tired of praying for my period every month. Still, I learned during during this time how people could cheat at my age; I mean, the stakes were so low and I'd always been the kind of person to take what I wanted if I could get it without a ton of judgment. I still believe that if a tree falls in the forest when no one is there to hear it, no sound is heard. It might be made, but not heard. In my first real relationship that involved love, sex, drugs, tenderness, and heated argument, I learned that cheating could be a great pressure-relief valve for what's missing in the primary relationship. But at that point in my life, I thought the solution was to find the right relationship.