Broken Vows

The next few days did not fly by. There was still a lot of crying. There was a lot of pain, and there was a lot of booze to help me sleep at night. My friends were with me the whole time but except for the lead in Key West, we turned up nothing. Todd was gone. He had told Shawn he was returning, but so far nothing.

Until, I got the call.

It was about 8 pm, when the phone rang. It was a number I did not recognize. Initially I had assumed it was Shawn and Beth calling to tell me they had returned home from Key West but since it was a number I did not recognize, I put it on speaker so Toni could hear. I praying that it was Todd. It was not. It was a woman named Dr. Blake who I had never met before.

Dr. Blake introduced herself and told me she was Todd's counselor. His what? His counselor? How long has he been seeing a counselor? Oh, this was getting worse by the minute. He had been seeing a counselor behind my back without telling me. What else had he been doing? My mind was racing a mile a minute with every worst possible scenario I could think of. And you can trust me, after this week, I have a very vivid set of pictures running through my head.

"Counselor, Todd has a counselor?", was all I could get out.

After a short silence, Dr. Blake told me softly, she was Todd's marriage counselor. Could this get any worse? My husband had a marriage counselor and I came home to tell him I have been unfaithful with another man. I might as well get the gun out now and shoot the marriage in the head. It was dead.

Once again, after a short pause, which I assume Dr. Blake was waiting for me to say something, she said, that she had been contracted 3 hours ago by Todd and he was on his way with Kitty to her office. With Kitty? Who the fuck was Kitty? Toni looked at me with a blank stare. We knew nobody named Kitty. Had that bastard gone and found himself a stripper to fuck as revenge? I was starting to get angry and Toni quickly tried to settle the situation down.

Toni asked, "Who is Kitty?" Dr. Blake replied, "It was his driving companion." We both looked at each other with a look of confusion. I did not know what to say, so Toni asked, "Dr Blake, why did you call?"

Dr. Blake's reply was simple. "Todd is struggling with the news you broke to him over a week ago. He has been internalizing the situation and is struggling to understand who he is, what your marriage is, and if it will exist in future. He is driving directly to my office from Florida and should be here is under an hour for his counseling session. He asked me to invite you to the session if you desire to discuss if the marriage can move forward. He is not promising that it will, but he is willing to hear you and talk with you at that time. My office is in the Thurston Building on the 3rd floor. If you wish to join the session, it starts in exactly 48 minutes. Thank you for your time, and good bye."

And with that, Dr Blake hung up and was gone.

48 minutes. 48 minutes... The Thurston building. Kitty. Who the fuck is Kitty? 47 minutes...what the fuck do I wear? What do I say? Will he believe me? Will he divorce me? Do I have a chance? Who the fuck is Kitty? Oh my god, what do I do? And who the fuck is Kitty? Yep, my mind was going at light speed.

I should thank the Lord more often for having such good friends. Instead of wondering who Kitty is, Toni was focused on our next step. She was already running upstairs to pull my husband's favorite Little Black Dress out of the closest. She grabbed my 4-inch heels, black tights and told me to get dressed. She almost yelled at me, "If you are going down, you are going down in style. You need to show Todd the woman he fell in love with and married!"

As I was getting dressed, Toni called Shawn and Beth, who were just getting to their house after flying back from Key West. She turned them around and sent them straight to the Thurston building. She said, "If I was going to prove that I was raped, Todd would need to hear it confirmed from somebody he trusts with his life, and that was Shawn." Next Toni grabbed me and stuffed me into the car and told me to start working on my makeup. I took one look in the mirror and understood why. I had aged 15 years in the last 2 weeks. I looked worse than shit. As we took off in an attempt to get there in time, I glanced at my watch, 42 minutes to get to the far end of Atlanta. Not possible even at night with the roads empty...

I don't know how, but about 3 miles down the road, an Atlanta Police car pulled in behind us. I heard Toni whisper, "Fuck, there goes getting there in 38 minutes." I started to cry, when the phone rang and Toni put it on speaker. It was Beth. All she said, was "Follow the car with the blue lights and don't stop for anything, I love you guys." And in an instant the car behind us turned on his blue lights, passed us like we were standing still. When we hit the interstate, we were peaking just over 105 an hour. Toni could barely keep up.

As we neared The Thurston building, our blue light escort, turned off his lights, slowed and we passed him as we entered the parking lot. We had made it with a few minutes to spare.

I ran into the building, waited for 10 seconds for the elevator, then decided to take the stairs with Toni behind me. Thank you, Stairmaster, because 3 flights of stairs in 4 inches heels will do a number on you. We got to the third floor and ran towards the office. As we opened the door, there was a very young, attractive, well dressed women sitting in the lobby watching us. We stared back and nobody said anything. I felt if I was one of two female lions getting ready to attack one another for the alpha role of the pride.

And then she rose, walked straight over to me, held out her hand and said, "Hi, you must be Stacy. I am Kitty. I have heard so much about you and your family from Todd. You are more beautiful than he described. He is in with Dr. Blake and they are waiting for you inside." And then she smiled.

Todd:

Well, that brings me to where I am now. I had been sitting for about 5 minutes in a very comfortable chair feeling my heart drop even further thinking Stacy was not coming. My hand was shaking while I met Dr. Blake and got our financial affairs in order. I also learned a little bit about her practice of 20 years. She was a graduate of the Duke School of Medicine and very well respected. In the 5 minutes I had been there, she had put me at ease and told me that we would get through this together. I was not alone. Then the door opened and I was face to face once again with my wife. Stacy had come. This woman, who I had so many loving memories with. The memories that ran through my mind like a movie on speed. The ups and the downs. All of it. This women who had turned my life upside down with just one sentence.

My first thought was she looked tired. I could tell even with her makeup done; she had not slept in a long while. She was wearing my favorite dress. Her little black one with the 4 inch heels. Man did it make her look sexy. "Sexy, I thought" "Sexy?" Isn't that what probably got her into this problem. She was probably looking sexy for someone else and that's where her affair started...

"Think"..."Think"... What had Dr. Blake just gotten through telling me. "Think!" Stop letting my imagination run wild. Listen first. My thoughts were destroying me. "Shut your fucking brain and your mouth and just listen to her!!"

Stacy came to hug me and speak, but I put my hand out to stop her. I was not in a mood to touch her. I was still very angry and until I had a chance to hear why she had betrayed me... us... our family. I did not want her touching me.

She started to cry, and then she went to sit down across from me. I looked over at her, and then at Dr. Blake and thought to myself, "does it all end here?"

Dr. Blake was the first to talk. She introduced herself to Stacy and gave her a short description of her background in clinical psychology. She then looked Stacy directly in her deep blue eyes. The ones I had fallen in love with so many years ago, and asked her, "Can you please describe to Todd what happened in enough detail that he can understand and comprehend it?" And then she asked Stacy to, "Finish by telling Todd if you really want the marriage to succeed, or do you feel that at this point, it is a waste of time."

Well, I had to give it to Dr. Blake, she certainly did not beat around the bush.

Stacy:

I thought to myself "Fuck! It all ends here. He did not want to touch me. He did not want me. Well, Fuck it. If he doesn't want me to be with him after this, then at least I can feel like I gave it my all." He was and is my whole world. I stared directly into his eyes, just like the first time I had when I was on the porch at the college party when I first saw him and softly said, "I was drugged and raped on the retreat by Peter. He wanted to trick me into believing I had had an affair with him, and he had taken naked pictures of us to blackmail me. He has been arrested and put in jail and has confessed to it all. Beth and Shawn should be here in a few minutes to confirm the story. That is the whole truth!" And just for good measure, "NOW, who the fuck is Kitty!?"

Todd:

I did not think I could be more emotional than I had been the past 2 weeks. I was wrong. On a level of 1 to 10, my emotions had been running the gambit. This brought me straight to a 10. Raped!?!? Confusion. Anger. Hatred! Hatred not at Stacy, but at Peter! Also, Hatred of myself! I tried to speak but I could not, my mouth opened, but nothing came out. I broke down and started to cry and I fell to the floor at my wife's feet. All I could think was I had failed her. I had not been there to protect her.

Stacy:

I did not know how to react. My husband. My rock. My lover. My life. He had said two words to me in the past three weeks, and now he was lying in a fetal position on the floor, bawling his eyes out. I did not know how to react. What emotion was the strongest inside me. Was it anger? Was it loathing? Was it sympathy? Was it hate? Was it love? Here was the man I had spent most of my life loving and I did not know what he was feeling. All I knew was he was crying.

I looked up towards Dr. Blake, and she was looking at me with her mouth wide open. I guess that was not that answer she was expecting. The door burst open. Toni and Kitty came in to see what all the commotion was about. They just stared at me and at Todd lying on the floor wailing. A few seconds later, Shawn and Beth came in and they just stared with their mouths open wondering what they had missed.

I truly did not know what to do...

We all stood for what felt like hours, but was actually seconds, when Kitty looked at me and asked me what I said to Todd. I told her, "I just told him that had been drugged and raped on my retreat." With a look of trust in her eyes, this woman who I had never met and was probably younger than my daughter, asked me to let her handle this. Confused as to the situation and not knowing if this was my husband's new mistress, I did not know how to answer. So, I just shook my head OK.

Kitty slowly got down and put her arms around Todd. She whispered towards him, "See silly, she loved you the entire time. Like I told you, there was a good reason why it happened, and it had nothing to do with you."

Todd looked at her, and for the first time, in two weeks I heard my husband's voice. "But it was my job to protect her. I failed her, and when she needed me most, I failed her again when I jumped to conclusions and yet again when I abandoned her."

Kitty looked him square in the eye, and snapped loudly, "Bullshit! Bull Fucking shit! Do you think it was my mom's fault when she was raped at 16 by my father? Do you think it was my fault when Billy beat the crap out of me and tried to let his friends fuck me for money? Fuck NO! It was not your fault that Stacy got raped. It was not your fault that this happened! Sure, you should have manned up when she first told you about it, but you pussied out, ran away, and look where that got you. I listened to you whine for days on the ride back from Florida that if you ever got a chance to show your wife how much you really loved her, you would do it. So, get up off over your fucking lazy ass, kiss your woman and take back what is yours!"

And we all just stared at this young girl, flabbergasted by her wisdom.

Todd got up, off his feet, got on one knee and looked me straight in my eyes and asked, "Will your forgive me and will you be my wife forever from this day forward?"

Through my tears, I replied, "Yes! Absolutely yes! Oh God, Yes! I love you! I love you so much! I have missed you so much!" I pulled Todd up to his feet and placed my mouth on his, and showed him how much I had missed him.

When we stopped kissing, I looked around and everyone was still crying. Shawn grabbed Todd and put him in a bear hug, Toni and Beth grabbed me and hugged me for dear life. I looked over at Dr Blake who was dabbing her eyes and she said, "On one hand, my work here is finished. However, on the other, I think we should start seeing each other at least two times a week. Sooner or later this is going to hit you. Rape is a very difficult thing to work through. For both the wife and the husband. You both will have a lot of ups and downs, but I am sure that in the end with your love, you two will come out of it ok."

And with that, I turned and looked at Kitty. I grabbed her and pulled her into a hug. I was unsure who this girl was, but it was apparent that she has not only saved my husband, but had also saved my marriage. As I released her, I looked at Todd hoping that he would give me some answers. All he said, was, "Stacy, please allow me to introduce you to Tonya. Known in a previous life as Kitty. I know this is a lot to ask of you, but she needs our help."

Epilogue:

Todd:

When we all eventually left Dr. Blake's office to go to our home, naturally, Tonya came with us. This gave her an opportunity to formally meet Stacy and our friends. We all sat and talked for a while. Stacy started, and her friends helped her fill in the gaps. There were frequent pauses when we could not control our emotions. Tonya and I went last and told everyone what had happened since I left our house. After it was all done, Stacy and her friends thanked Tonya for doing what she did for our marriage and practically begged her to stay in Atlanta permanently. It was even Stacy who proposed that Tonya move into the apartment over our garage so she could get her life back in order and start to follow her dreams.

When everyone left, Stacy and I sat and drank wine till the morning and talked. It was a long talk that should have happened over a week ago.

Tonya moved in over our garage. I asked her about her stuff in Florida and she said the only things she owned of significance were the new clothes still in the BMW. After hearing about her previous life, Toni agreed to become her lawyer (pro-bono), and even though there was nothing Tonya wanted out of her divorce, Toni made Billy pay dearly for hitting her. Tonya's next hurdle was getting back to school She studied hard, took her tests, and got accepted into prestigious Emory Nursing school. As this was going to cost her a small fortune, Stacy and I offered to help with the cost and let her stay in the apartment rent free until she graduated a few years later.

Terry and Mike eventually found out that there had been a problem between Stacy and I. It came out just before Thanksgiving when they returned home to find Tonya living in the garage apartment. Stacy, ended up sitting them down and telling them about the rape and how I had left. She told our children if it hadn't been for Tonya pulling me out of my depression, I would have probably drunk myself to death in Key West, and for that she owed her a lot. It was a little strange at first, but a few hours later, you would have thought Terry, Mike and Tonya were brother and sisters.

Terry graduated UNC and became a Pharmacist. Mike tried his hand at Triple A baseball for 2 years before taking an engineering job with a small consulting firm in Marietta. Tonya graduated from Emory with her RN shortly after the kids and went on to work in one of Atlanta's best hospital, on the recommendation of her close friend Dr Blake.

I was lucky enough to walk both Terry and Tonya down the aisle at both of their weddings.

As for Stacy and I, we did have some tough times. No one could experience the sort of trauma we went through without it affecting the marriage. We had to see Dr. Blake for over a year. For both the rape and for the deeper communication issues that existed within our marriage. As you can imagine, we had some very uncomfortable moments during that time. There was often silence. Occasionally there were accusations. And of course, there were fights. We did make up a lot and the sex was terrific. But it was no picnic.

After about a year however, I came home one day and noticed that Stacy was no longer smoking while drinking her wine on the back porch. I took it as a sign that things were returning back to normal with us. She was not having nightmares anymore and I was 100% committed every day to the success of our future.

As for Peter. He finally made parole and was released from prison a few years later. Stacy was worried at first, so I suggested she go back to see Dr. Blake privately for a while. I was really concerned that the nightmares would start over again, Stacy would start smoking again and that everything we had worked on would fall apart. And then, he just disappeared. This made it Stacy even more on edge until, Beth asked to have a private conversation her. Immediately after their talk, Stacy was much better. Later that night I asked Stacy what Beth had said to her. Stacy told me that just Beth smiled at her, and said, "Don't worry about him honey, I don't ever expect the body to be discovered".