All Comments on 'Brother Comes Home'

Why did you use so many ellipses? It made for clunky dialogue and was highly distracting.

It certainly jumped right into it but it was very hot. I really hope you are going to add at least one more part.

I feel like there's more to this story

Keep it going please

I enjoyed the story and hope you consider continuing it so that we can follow the couples new life.

Thank you for your efforts to entertain us.

Marine Corps not Corp. There is no reenlistment for officers. Once an officer accepts his commission he's in for life unless he resigns his commission or is pushed out.

... but sad that her mom thought she was the “area cum dumpster”. Was that really necessary for the story?

I'm no English major and can't say I'm perfect in this area, but the odd punctuation with unnecessary commas was very disconcerting.

It made some paragraphs very choppy. At tines it came across that the author was not a native English user.

BTW 15 years to make Major in the Marines is a little long, but still possible especially if you have enlisted service. You don't reach a field grade rank quickly.

Again we have an example of someone writing about something they know nothing about and don't bother to do any research. When in doubt, so an internet search.

great start to what could be a top notch story. hope to see more soon

Would like to see more chapters. Thanks

I really liked the story and I hope there's more. I hope he gets to fuck his mother while his newly pregnant wife/sister watches to celebrate the pregnancy. And as the man of the house he rules that the two women should be naked at all times while at home.

People... do... not... speak... like... this...

i liked it, it was a good read.

i only felt that the beginning was a bit rushed, it could have had a longer story on the sister and her confessing her feelings for him. a bit of build up is almost never a bad idea.

all in all i liked it tho

Aside from some bad spelling in some words the story was very good, also too many elipses. You can find other way to mark the direct speaking of your characters. All in all good job, keep it up ! :)))

Mom, her Two sisters, his secretary, Jenkins other daughter, and the owner of the donut shop. Great job. Follow the other comments too.

XYZ

After Ally get PG he not only fucks mom, he gets her PG too. While the two women are PG he fucks,sucks, does anal to his secretary who is the boss' daughter. There is two or three chapters left. Good job so far!

XYZ

I thought the build up was great. Not too wordy. Love the ending. Great place to STOP. Gets too complicated after this. Ellipses?... What ellipses?...

Well done! Writing, grammar and editing all scored very high. Great premise. Your choice. Leave it here or its three or four more chapters. You still have mom hanging out there, and maybe a secretary too. Your choice.

XYZ

Well done, this was great storyline that was well edited. I agree with previous comments that the ending is ok but then again it could stand to have more chapters. The author has a very good writing style. 5 stars

Chill with ellipses in the dialogue.

Great story but why stop there. Theres so much more you can add to this story.Still I gave you ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Darn good story. 5 stars.

5 strong stars. Wish it was longer, or a bit more descriptive in places, but still damn good.