All Comments on 'Brother Helping Brother'

I had to read that first sentence at least a half-dozen times, trying to make sense of it. The rest of the first few paragraphs should have included a chart to sort out who's who.

Here's a suggestion: read out loud, and if it's a little confusing for you, it's going to a lot confusing for anyone else.

....but overall, not bad at all.

I read the first couple of paragraphs where you used at least three tenses and nearly gave up, but I persevered to the end.

I think you need advice on how to write coherently with a decent editor overseeing your efforts. I know they are not easy to obtain, but at least try because you do have potential.

I haven't looked at your profile yet, so I don't know how much you have written. The story comes out sort of awkward. Frankly I don't see how the brother was able to have sex with his sister-in-law dressed. My personal thought was, "fuck that; I want actual sex!" There is zero chance I would agree to have sex like that. Perhaps some sort of interlude after dinner to get things started. A drink or two and then hop into the sack for some fun. It's your story, so it goes how it goes in your head. In my head; I would be having a lot more fun with it. Keep writing and get some real advice from other authors.

RS

The big tittied one should be the one having babies.

easy answer for this is the old turkey baster method. same results without making everyone scum of the earth trash...

As others have stated, get an editor. The story premise is good. It is a story that could be pulled and rewritten, cleaning up the grammatical errors, and also adding to the ending. This could be a story with legs.

disappointing

Why is it constantly the male that has the problem? In fact my eggs are very thick walled, I doubt ill ever have children naturally, but trying is still great fun.

Its not incest to fuck someone who isnt your family - your brother in law is not your brother so it int incest

people get pregnant from broken condoms so they could use a turkey baster

this should be in loving wives as she cheated - getting pregnant sex doesnt include tonguing balls

The previous Anonymous (titled: three things), is apparently complaining about the category. While he is right that there was no incest, the category is not "Incest," but "Incest/Taboo."

Anonymous also opines, "this should be in loving wives." Since Literotica's description of Loving Wives does include "married extramarital," that would be a fitting category. However, since the sex was also taboo, it is not wrong to be in its present category.

Anonymous also thinks "she cheated," because "getting pregnant does not include tonguing balls."

BUT, remember that the two wives agreed to no rules, and specifically that meant doing what was enjoyable and insuring orgasms. So, was the kissing on lips OK with Anonymous, but not on balls? The wives drew no lines so as to exclude a certain type of foreplay. They said "no rules." Anonymous made a rule so he could criticize the story.

Now, me.

I got to the end, but did not feel like I was at the end.

The "sex with a purpose" was to have a baby.

The story ends with no baby.

Issues were raised about how relationships would be affected. The resulting aftermath of those issues were not addressed.

Assuming a baby, was it a boy? Girl?

How does Jeremy feel about his biological child being raised by his brother's son?

How does Jackson feel about his "son" actually being the son of his brother?

Does any of the four wish for a repeat of sex with the

in-law? If so, how do they broach the subject? What happens?

To me, it seems inconsistent that Working Girl with such a great resolution, was written by the same author who penned this story with its inadequate resolution.

And it's reflected in the respective ratings.

One clever device in this story. Instead of reporting the initial sexual episode, the author waited to have Macy insist that Jeremy give her the details. Nice one.

In fact, the sexually open Macy (both in talk and actions) was a nice contrast in the story to the repressed Anna.

Good story -- as far as it went.

Too bad it did not go further.

Paul in Oklahoma

kills it.

Just a case of wives wanting to cheat and get away with it

Orgasm has ZERO effect on pregnancy. A scrotum injury cannot cause infertility! Crushed testicles might. Otherwise nice story.

So much missing from this story. Not telling the donor that the others had agreed to his wife fucking his brother would be a real deal breaker to me regardless what I had agreed to. Trashes the story.

Bill S.

Meh. These must be w va couples in de montains cuz despite working, they aint gots enuf scratch to get a medical institution to take bro As sperm and shoot up it up into bro Bs wife. man o man, i smells an intra family feud a brewin'. rk