All Comments on 'Brothers In (her) Arms'

This blows like a sailor: long and forever.

Way too wordy. And there's still more? Pretty shitty thing not putting chapter 1 in the title, clearly its not finished and I just wasted my time reading 9 pages expecting it to be done. I don't read stories that are multi chapter til they're done. Got tired of stories being started, following them only for the author to give up and not finish. 1*

Best story ever I really enjoyed it plz write more

Woody A. said that. 9 pages definitely qualifies as showing up. I only read first and last page to be honest. It's clear the work ethic factor in terms of being a quality author is in place. My recommendation are as follows

1) listen to dual New Yorker Mag short story podcasts especially the monthly one where moderator and author discuss literary elements of story.

2) Buy / Read Stephen King's ' On Writing '.

3) Listen 10 times harder to any Literotica author then I sayhere.

4) Good luck !

This story has 9 pages too much...1*

and if she was, she wouldn't be now. And if he dies, I wouldn't want to be Walter.... Semper Fi

Excellent Story.

I was lost after the second page, they had sex much too easily and cheating on her husband while he was at war. no, just no. didn't do it for me. sorry, i know you put a lot of work in this but you messed up on the storyline.

In your opening paragraphs there were too many incidents of us "I" as an opening for a sentence. In some sentences that word was used multiple times. Reads like a fourth grader wrote it.

In later paragraphs depictions of sex were way to flowery in description. Describing the transporting of the senses to a Moorish palace on the coast of Spain ... adnauseum was way too over the top descriptive. I was laughing thinking you wrote it while toking a blunt.

The work could have been better. Often less nets you more. There were some truly moving expressions of emotion and concern in your character interactions. However, I am not so certain I want you to attempt the travesty roller coaster that is going to happen when a loved one is reported as having been shot.

Having served overseas in a less than friendly environment, I can appreciate this. Never being hung up on monomy, I love the story. Be great if hubby came home and two couples had a truly great relationship. Thanks

This story turns on a very thin dime and that is the request of the husband for his wife to have extramarital sex to even the score and relieve the tension of abstinence. I think your characters went way beyond the original request. They fell in love. It was only her husband's continued request for videos that kept the story alive. It is well written but is still ultimately a cuck story. If you continue please do not turn Grant into an impotent voyeur.

Loved it. Please keep up the good work.

More Please

Congratulations, very, very well written and narrated. Looking forward to the rest to come....Out of 10, I rate you a 64,3.....

My friend you have outdone yourself ,this is one hell of a story.Continuing it would be a treasure to all Lit, readers, Grant has been shot not killed. Good place to carry on from.Excellent job.

please continue to write.

and pay no attention to shit slinging assholes that don't even have the guts to try this.

it was a joy to read and thank you for posting it.

Please continue writing and continue this story, it's very well written & a compelling read.

Don't let the begrudger's get to you.

Yes, Grant has been shot. A tragedy, but also an opportunity for him to come home early to HIS family! Nothing has been taken from him, the people he loves and who love him are waiting for him to make a full recovery and return to the love in his home! Sounds like a good thing to me....

A great story. Well told. Great characters and expansion of their relationship and sex. We must know what happens as a result of Grant's wounds. Do they move into a polymorphic relationship? Are others brought into the story? What about the age difference? Lots of subplots remain and I am looking forward to see where you take this story next.

Please finish this wonderful story.

I liked the way the sex and love was always focused on the opposite party! It wasn't selfish at all. A great continuation would be to have Grant come home and both characters nurse him back to health. Then introduce him to Annika in a marvelous four way adventure. With possibilities of Walter and Grant teaming up to work and live together with both Alicia and Annika and have Annika as Walter's prime partner. Great story!

Your story line was very thin and could have been made in one small paragraph. It was mostly sexual scenes which were fine but I desired more story content. Then you left readers guessing. "Shot" could mean anything from grazed to serious. Your writing shows skill but I would appreciate more in a story line.

I would love to see how it pans out in your mind ... I have a couple of scenarios from Walter and Alicia getting together with Grant out of the picture to Grant coming back and it being a communal 4 some as Walter marries Annika with all happy to share with each other.

The back story to the sex was a little weak and too coincidental but ok... could do with a little more meat on the characters backgrounds. Wasnt sure if it was a LW story or a Bondage or a Fetish ~~~(with the Lactating) ... looking forward to seeing more

was a pretty interesting story in itself but the sex scenes took over the story. the story could very well be happening now in real life as there are lots of separated wifes and husbands in the world today. the way the story ended here leaves it hanging hope to see the next chapter to it as it could get interesting with the people u have put in the story. great writing

Is just getting it to a point where he can get near a dick

I gave up on it after a few pages. This story had no redeeming qualities . Boring

With ending like that I can't see the cheating slut really caring if husband hurt. She moved on a long time ago and husband left clueless. Dips hit neighbor portrayed as a good guy and gentleman but does this shit to a serviceman. These two make bin Laden look good. These types are lower than whale shit.

But I gave it 4 stars for form, grammar, etc., just not content. No husband would tolerate this level of intimacy. It's really not the sex per se, but the intimate relationship built around the sex. Just not believable on any level. I realize that this is a fantasy site generally, but except for a couple of other categories, this one requires that the story has some small connection to believability.

Both the husband and wife are cheating on their son. Either one could get an incurable STD. The justification for fucking around is that sex is too important a part of life to live without. So when he comes back injured and unable to fuck, the wife will continue to fuck other men and the injured warrior will kill himself; can't live without sex, remember?

What I see is a husband and wife in name only. They both lack the commitment and discipline to stay loyal. And the wife quickly found a new man to take her husband's place not just sexually, but romantically and emotionally, and in the end, financially. Sounds like hubby is getting replaced in fact if not in name. There's no way normal people could do this and not fuck up their lives and their marriage.

The sex scenes are pretty well written, so congratulations for that. As to continuing the story, I don't really care. These characters are too selfish and shallow to care what happens to them. So suit yourself.

Before I was deployed, my wife and I were swingers, not married very long. While I was away, I encouraged her to continue to play without me, as most of our friends were in the swinging group, and I didn't want her bereft of friends. I was fortunate enough to be able to watch videos of her with a lover, too.

Then one day she tearfully told me she was pregnant and she didn't know what to do. When I asked her if she wanted to have the baby, she reluctantly admitted that she really couldn't imagine doing anything but keeping the baby, but she would do whatever I wanted. I told her we would keep the child and raise it. We have since had a child of our own and have a wonderful family.

The kind of love and concern people have for each other in this story reminds me of Scorpio44's stories, the ones inspired by his polyamorous family. There are many different, healthy ways to love, as long as people are honest with each other about what they want and respect each other's boundaries.

I would be very interested in seeing where the author takes this story. Already, it seems to be one of a kind, here. *****

I believe a person can love more than one person. Sex is an essential part of our lives and it is expressed here in an unusual way. The sex is incredible, it makes me wish I was younger to enjoy it like I use to. I would definitely like to see this story continue.

This is a great story. Wel founded, with well defined characters, Interesting, easy to read, erotic... etc. I gave it 5 stars and meant them.

The story deserves a "follow up", and I fear that the low score wont make Mountaincat4 finish it, leaving us in the cliffhanger

But I am really sorry it was introduced in "loving wives" because it is judged for many BTB fans (Burn The Bitch) who wont give good ratings if there is no bitch to burn.

If this story is retired and reinserted with another name in the "mature cathegory", I'm pretty sure it should show an average over 4.6 stars.

Damn!

The readers of loving wives are really hard to please :-(

No love here except the love of a dick. Didn't read the whole thing but got enough of the drift being that she couldn't kee her legs closed while her husband is risking his life in a foreign land. A military man disrespects a fellow warrior and cuckolds him. Pretty pathetic shit if you ask me. Please don't continue this tripe.

Her husband is off risking his life and getting shot while his wife is getting her slutty brains fucked out.

Sorry. I do not appreciate stories about remorseless rewarding infidelity and especially when inflicted on our men and women over seas.

Hope this bastard is physically destroyed by an angry marine and Alicia loses everything.

Stupid cunt.

It doesn't matter that he knows, it is still majorly disgusting.

Feel sorry for the kid.

I absolutely loved this. Please don't listen to the haters. Finish this story, you can't let it end like that.

I don't understand the bad comments. If this type of sexual situation doesn't float your boat, why read it? I thought the writer did a great job of telling the story. The writer could tell any type of story and do a good job. I hope he or she writes more. An excellent writer.

As for the situation, it can be fun. My wife and I have sometimes had sexual fun with friends. It's a blast. We've done it a few times with two couples and three single guys and one single woman. I love watching her have sexual fun.

We have been happily married for 26 years.

So many readers seem to forget this is a work of FICTION & start condemning the author for the story! The wife was responding to her husband's request - after he had used prostitutes - yet readers feel she's no marine's wife. Is it OK for a soldier to use a prostitute "to relieve stress" but not for his (quite possibly) very stressed wife back home to take a lover AFTER he has told her to? Seems like double standards to me. Relax folks & enjoy the read - or go find something you do like to read, it's a voluntary (free) site after all. Thanks to the author for a well written tale (of fiction!) :)

Sure, blame the reader for a shit storyline. Husband is defending her and everyone at home and she is getting his pussy fucked for him. How nice of the cunt.

For you that didn't understand I'll help you. Do you think it's possible he didn't think he was going to make it back to her. Yes the ending is the worst but what if she didn't have Walter there. Going through the either the loss or possible loss of her husband by herself would be very difficult especially with a child. Those of us that has been deployed do worry a lot about love ones stepping out but this wasn't it. Permission was given whether you liked it or not it was a good story about sharing love on different levels. Thanks for the story I enjoyed it.

It is amazing how many writers on this site seek to justify the wife being a cheat and the husband a wimp cuckold. Is there no one out there to change the tune?

This is really a pretty good story. I personally think it’s in the wrong section, since it’s about 90 percent porn and 10 percent story. But I have to say, anybody who didn’t see that ending coming just was not paying attention. As far as how a “Marine” would react to such a situation, no one can really say. I served with 3rd Btn, 26th Marines in Vietnam in 69 and 70. I know a little about “grunt” Marines. And you can’t just generalize their thoughts and actions. You shouldn’t try.

A good story and I wish there was a part 2. Don't know quite how to say this, but its alittle cold, there's not much build up in the plot----man meets neighbor, they fuck, she moves in-----all too smooth. They want another woman, they meet Ms. Perfect; it's all too slick, and not life like. Even the sex was like that, he was never into ropes, but he tied her up perfectly; never had anal, but was a master on his first go round.

Your writing is Ok I guess but certainly not exactly very exciting; everything just seemed so easy for Walter. I can't really believe that 2 different ladies would fall into bed with him so easily. Not that realistic. You got lucky - 3 ***

Another 5 stars.

and the damage he does to military families.

That he would willfully take up that role shows him to be a person (not a man) of low character and no honor.

He deserves all the bad karma he can get.

Deserves every bad thing coming his way...unfortunately I have a feeling he is going to come out of this as a hero of some sort.

is a despicable character. I didn’t get past page one. A warrior that would fuck another warrior‘s wife while the husband is deployed should be drawn and quartered.

Writing about it and making him out to be a “gentleman “ is in poor taste.

Theakston

Let her and him show their love for a wounded warrior returning home to a happy ending for all.

I didn't like this one like your others Minor point but Officers don't get their hands dirty like you say in the beginning. You should have made him a First Sargent or perhaps a Master Sargent.

what army were you in o yes us wives who cant keep their legs closed officers who do that dont last long

Fuck anyone that gets off on this shit. Seriously. I don't give two fucks if my account is banned. My family has proudly served in 3 branches. My grandfathers served in ww2 and Korea. My father and uncles served in Vietnam. My brother went to Afghanistan as did my best friend's husband. My.husband served before we met. I can't imagine ever!

I am so sick of this stupid notion that people cannot go without sex. There is no biological imperative that requires sex at anytime or anyplace. You can survive without it. People who don't are narcissistic assholes who have no sense of honor or respect. If you aren't happy then suck it up if your husband or wife is deployed. When they come back talk it out first before dishonoring yourself, your spouse and country.

I really don't give two flying fox if you disagree with this so go to hell. Keep your f****** legs close your dick in your trousers.

I love, absolutely love stories about cheating military spouses. Defending our country is a choice and a spouse who remains behind waiting does not know what is being asked of them until the absence stretches out in their future. It is not just about sex, though being fucked is a pressure release valve for them. It is more often about companionship and conversation. Enlisted spouses have been plucked from their comfort zone to be with a person they both want and need to be with. Then, bon-voyage baby doll.

please continue