All Comments on 'Brother's Little Dick Works Fine'

very very nice!!

Great Story but the ending felt rushed.

Ok, story, title is a little misleading from the general story. Sorry to say the pay off isn't worth it after nine pages.

Fuck.. that was 9 pages of slow ass buildup and no payoff. Terrible

I just didn't like where it went. To start with it read as a potentially beautiful love story between twins and seemed to be developing that way. The love the twins had for each other really shone through but for whatever reason the author decided not to take it down that route.

Not sure what this story was really about it was a bit of siblings with benefits, a bit of a sister helping out her brother with his sex life, a bit of implied lesbianism with a best friend and finally a developing lesbian relationship with a different school friend and to top it off unrequited love of a friend that comes to fruition.

For me, I would have preferred if the story had developed into a twins love story. Even though I found it disappointing where the story ended up the story itself is extremely well written and was, a sort of, enjoyable read.

Most "Delicious " Stories I have read in a while! Great characters , wonderful build

to climax and a fantastic finish!

well written. so many twists and turns

Quite a journey you take us on. Several interesting twists and turns. *****

Great page turner, great mix of incest, lust and porn!

Well written, and I loved the character development.

You have great writing skills!! Loved your story!

One of the best stories I have read. Plausable, sexual, and interesting. wish you added more to talk about both relationships growing..

I not 9nly. Sexually enjoyed this story but after a 3 round go I continued to read. Such a great story...the arc was perfect and climax. ...hehe...was on point thank you

Absolutely enticing!!.. kinda hoped they would end up falling for eachother but nevertheless a great story!

One of the best stories I have read. Great pacing and eroticism without being vulgar.

I hate long stories, but this was well worth the read.

I really loved this story. Enthralling, enticing, and taboo. It was a bit longer than I'm accustomed to but each page pulled me deeper and deeper into your web. Your supporting characters were well fleshed out and were actually a part of the story, not just fluff. The chemistry of your characters was palpsble! Perhaps in future stories you can reveal more about the lives of Anthony, Darius and Adaku. I can't wait to read more. Truly great job!!

9 pages worth of text, and 0 of emotional outcome. You think that characters are well written, but the end is emty and hollow.

Been stroking most of the story!

The story was absolutely great, but I found the lack of detail when they finally get together to be a little anticlimactic. Nine pages of build up for "I fucked him. Twice"?

I don't want you to think I mean I'll by this comment. Your story building is exceptional. I just wanted the same amount of detail in their lovemaking scene as you put into the rest of the story.

Hope that makes sense and I didn't come off like a bitch.

Well written, good story, good character development... WTF! That's just not normal!

I'm in the minority here, who would prefer a great story to hot sex, but this had both.

5*s and I added you to my favorites. Keep on writing and I'll keep on reading.

Thank you!

Not trying to be a brat. Buttttt, 105lbs, 5’5 and solid muscle? I don’t know any female at 18 that could be that athletic, solid muscle and only weigh 105lbs. Unless they were a literal stick.

As a female, who at 18, was honestly that athletic, if not more so, I was 5’3 and sold muscle and I was still pushing 130lbs. 🤷🏻‍♀️ That’s with a 6 pac and all.

It’s just not quite believable and started the story off with me cringing.

Just trying to help you out there. 🤙🏼

"Samantha apologized in the driveway while I stood in the doorway and watched them through the glass storm door. They only talked for a few minutes, but Zach gave her a hug when he was done and smiled at me when he came into the house."

Spreading rumors to the whole school that he has a tiny dick isn't something you can just apologize for and everything's fine. She did nothing to try and fix the problem. She could tell everyone she was lying. Most wouldn't believe her, especially after his sister kicked her ass, but at least you could call that an attempt to make amends. She got off way too easy. The story would have been better without that scene. Or she could have just gave him that blowjob as an apology.

"Ava would be ideal, but for all of her sexuality, she didn't seem like the type to cheat on her boyfriend." Except she knows first-hand that Ava is EXACTLY the type to cheat on her boyfriend because she did exactly that WITH HER. Shortly after they both bragged about how straight they both were, which I guess follows the pattern of this dumb chick being in denial about these things.

The brother is pretty odd starting on page 3. His, "gee thanks, sis, for embarrassing me with this list of easily searchable shit I could find on my own." wasn't believable. Then again, neither is valedictorian sex goddess Ava who doesn't realize guys with average dicks can still fuck doggystyle. Maybe she was thinking of the spoon position?

A thoroughly intoxicating story.

Great character development and story-line and totally erotic as well as sensual.

A fabulous piece of erotic writing.

Loved it

XXX

Great story, well written and very erotic.

Very fanciful but it could happen. Like that.

oh god the surprise lesbian ending cleared my skin, made my crops thrive, ended my depression, and brought my dead brother back to life after the fateful day of the spaghetti incident.

SO well done - this is an amazing story - the best I have ever read here. THANK YOU!

It was a wonderful story. Well written and great to read. I wonder will you be writing a squeal? I would love to see how Zack and Megan relationship grows as well as Belle and Ava's. So I will be on the look out for the next chapter.

A thoroughly enjoyable story. The ending was a good touch to tie everything up with a bow. Extremely well done.

Wonderful story - beautifully written. Just the right amount of fantasy!

After reading this, I can't help thinking that you had one idea in mind initially, decided you wanted to write something else halfway through, and tried to turn what you had already written into the new idea, rather than saving it for a completely different story, resulting in this one feeling a bit disjointed at times.

The way Zach's growing affection for Belle (evidenced in a couple instances, such as him telling her she doesn't know what he means by twin love) was completely dropped, and the fact that their night together after prom was glossed over by her simply saying, "I fucked him. Twice," reinforces the impression that you'd lost interest in your original idea for this story.

Personally, I think Ava was an extraneous character, and that she, as well as the story between her and Belle, should have been saved for a completely separate piece of writing, so that story could be told without trampling over the one between Zach and Belle.

Im not typically a reader of longer stories.. However. This story kept me all of it without hesitation. Very well done.

I absolutely LOVED this story!! I was laughing most of the way through! You brought all the characters to vivid life. This is a beautiful - and beautifully written - story about a sister and brother who have a very strong bond that had kind of eroded in recent days.

Informed that her brother, Zack, has a problem, Isabelle went out of her way to find out what the problem was and to solve it. Rather than being a gratuitous fuck story, this is a story of love. Everything (well, ALMOST everything) Belle did for/with/to Zack, she did entirely out of a deep and abiding love 💞 for her brother. This is fuckin' AWESOME!!

The dialogue was more-or-less realistic. I LOVED the playful banter between Belle and Zach throughout the story. I laughed out loud when Belle walked in on a sleeping Zack, yelled "BONSAI!" and pounced on him in the bed, just like a bigger sister might do to her twerp brother. (Yes, I recall they're only 14 minutes apart, but Belle, being more athletic and outgoing, is clearly the "bigger" sibling here.) Her love for Zack showed through in every paragraph.

Next, the close relationship between Megan, Belle & Zach: I loved the way you laid that out. SFAM's (sibs from another mother) rock! The lesbian tension between Belle & Megan, and Megan's reluctance to explore that possibility, wonderfully foreshadowed Belle's coming out as bisexual.

And the way the relationship developed between Ava, the HAWTT-est girl in school, and Belle, was surprising. Although there were plenty of hints this was coming (She's THE most beautiful girl in the school; EVERYBODY wants to fuck her!), I never would have thought in a million years that Ava would ask to go steady with Belle, let alone take anything like a submissive role to someone socially inferior.

Darius and Anthony were FABULOUS as "fairy godmothers." I can easily see the Wayans brothers playing them. The only character I objected to was Abaya ("Queen"). In the story, it states she's only 22. It takes a very rare, VERY strong, personality to carry that off so young. She reads Belle's palm, thus gauging her spirit ("Warthog 'is not an insult. Short, compact, and fierce...'). That takes wisdom, which comes with age. Also, given our culture's deference to older people, I think an older woman would better suit that role; someone in her 40s or older. This would make it easier and more appropriate (and obvious) for the youngsters to look up to her as any kind of authority figure. Lastly, I would like to see the relationship between Darius, Anthony and Abaya fleshed out more. How are they related? Where do they come from? The note in a foreign language hints that they're first or second generation immigrants from sub-Saharan Africa. Tell us something about their culture. And how do they decide to invite people into their family? There's a fascinating back story there that could use some telling.

All in all, this story ROCKS!! This has all the hallmarks of a professional author and, no doubt, would make an AWESOME movie script! The characters and scenes were so vividly drawn, I could see them in my mind as if I were sitting in a theater, with a big tub of popcorn. Although it's literotica, the primary focus is love, rather than sex. Here, you've painted a huge, vivid portrait of PEOPLE, not just rutting animals. I DEEPLY regret that I can only give this story a mere 5 stars, as it deserves so many more!

-- Booger

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

I was reading this intense coming of age story that was bringing siblings closer and closer after years of being not so close..... then it changed into this life story that practically dumped the original premise. "I fucked him... twice", was a horrible payoff for a buildup. The Megan thing just flipped into high gear, all of a sudden. Ava was alright, but took over too much of the story at the end. And honestly, why the hell did Anthoni and Darius decide to help them lol, but I really liked them. I'm not tearing this apart, but I do think you lost interest towards the end and decided to write something different. I agree with those saying save the other ideas for a different story. Perhaps you could have gotten two great stories out of this rather than just 1 good story that lost its way.

You can look at this story and be extremely proud of your accomplishment. Extremely erotic without the overplayed full page descriptive details of sexual acts. This is an extremely well crafted story, with believable characters, realistic interactions and none of the needless drama around a taboo relationship.

So long but so worth it.

You don't need a 100-chapter daily life saga, but Zach & Megan and Belle & Ava need their due.

You started this...

Well written! Kudos to you for having so many interweaving storylines and believable characters. I can only hope you have plans for a part 2.

...but come on, almost all the good stuff was kept out. Yeah there were some fun scenes, but the Ave sex scene was lackluster for a first experience he was supposed to always remember, and then all the other major relationship payoffs were neglected. She fucked him twice, the end. Make lesbian love to me, then nothing. Oh yeah they're a couple now. Weak ending to an otherwise strong story.

...so the ending made me feel a bit like some of the earlier commenters in the respect of a shift in what was originally intended. Yes, it was extremely well-written, but that wasn't enough to bring it up to the five stars which I'd been thinking about earlier in the story.

The other bit that I raised eyebrows at, but which nobody has commented on, is that she's a star basketballer at 5' 5". I'm not in the USA, so obviously don't have any first-hand knowledge of the system, but it just seems so unlikely that a top high school team would have girls that short. It's different in netball, where many mid-courters make up for their lack of height by being more nimble around the court, but surely the idea of basketball is that EVERYONE in a team shoots goals, so you want all of them to be reasonably tall.

I really enjoyed the story. Hard to focus though with it being female POV and main thrust was, I think, getting nerd brother a fuck. It changed to more about her getting her jollies which was a shame. Having trouble deciding if it was female writer and that is why it slipped to sister focus all the time, or male writer who is hung up on lesbian sex and needs to learn about the female mind.

Liked the story, especially for being so long. It stayed fairly hot, throughout.

I didn't care for everyone instantly just wanting to shower both brother and sister with extravagant expensive gifts all the time, for no reason that can be determined.

Personally, I like stories that aren't "about" the thing they seem to be about. I understand first-hand how hard it can be to write a complex story on Literotica because when you put something in a category, readers have certain expectations... but I hope you don't let the complaints about Isabelle & Zach's relationship fading into the background at the end get you down. This was a story about Isabelle's exploration of her own gender and sexuality, told through a series of steamy encounters with several different people. I dig it. There IS also a heavy degree of fantasy with the "cousins" and everything the main characters receive, but you know what? I'm not mad about that. This is a fantasy story, like most on this site. It's not like realism is paramount!

I didn't *love* the speaker's insistence throughout the story that she is neither gay nor a slut. Both are excusable, of course. She's young and figuring things out. I'd love a sequel, maybe some years down the line, where she's got some more perspective on who she is and what these words mean. She is gay and a slut, in this story; unless these things change with age, it'd be lovely to see her reflecting on how she came to own those terms.

Thanks for sharing this story with us, LongFreezingWinters. I see you. :)

Your characters are interesting and your world building is good. Make no mistake about that.

You should hit the breaks on your sex scenes. Slow them down, there's no need to rush them. The biggest problem with this story is that sex scene you were building toward was glossed over. Lean into the smut, not away from it.

I mean, if your life was like this, why would you be wasting time *reading about it*?

Most of our lives aren't like this, so it is a heck of a lot of fun to read about, just like any other cracking good story, porn or otherwise.

Scanning thru the most recent comments, I see a bunch of complaints about the single categorization not exactly matching everything that was happening. Oh well. I agree with that, but it seems to me that is a Literotica site problem, where it only allows a single category for a story. Others seem to complain about the lesbian subtext. I have no interest in playing with either lesbians or gays on their terms, but I sure don't object to them having fun with each other if they enjoy it. As long as there is something else going on in the story that does interest me, a little side story doesn't bother me.

The only comment I saw that I felt had merit was the one suggesting that the descriptions of the porn scenes was a bit rushed and light-handed. This is, after all, porn. So leaning toward heavy-handedness in those scenes would not be out of line, and indeed, is somewhat expected. Despite that small failing, I still thinking this was a cracking good read.

This was one of the best stories I’ve ever read, up until the last page or two. All that buildup and we get “I fucked him twice”. That was it, no details, nothing. That was supposed to be the climax of the story, no pun intended.

Thank you for this story. It’s remarkably well-written IMO, slow-paced but yet satisfying with novel plot elements. I enjoy how you tease the reader along, it’s a drawn-out seduction.

Well done!

It was a 5 until Ava and Belle going to the prom & Zach becomes an after thought for the last 2-3 pages. You can't do that to the titular character and get a good score. ou finish the Z& B story, then you write the A&B story. That was so disappointing because up to Ava it was going so well.

Unfortunately it is pretty obvious when writers block kicked in. Just like a Stephen King book, skip the last 15%...

Ill leave my reply plain and simple. I thoroughly enjoyed this read, I wont be criticial because I enjoyed it too much. Great job, though as another said, I wish we got more than them saying they did it. Fantastic job though

Up until end end it was really good. But it seemed you lost steam around the half-way point and by the end it felt very rushed.

I think you started out wanting to write an unorthodox sibling incest story, but then found that the relationship between Belle and Ava was more interesting to you. Nothing wrong with that, but if that's the case, here's my advice if you find yourself in a similar situation again: rewite the beginning. Draw the focus away from the sibling relationship and reframe the story in a way that better reflect the story you want to tell.

It was still a good story, it's just too bad about the ending...

That was a sweet imaginative romantic story. Even though some parts were a little predictable to me, it did nothing to reduce the enjoyment of the story. I really liked your character development and scene setting. I would love to read more of not only the main characters but of the side characters as well. (even Samantha and Erin) You could use the Okafer Family (thing) for many good stories. Thank You.

I really enjoyed this awesome story, and how you've taken your time with each character in your story. Although incest is very frowned on, it couldn't have been a better story. Please work on another chapter on this new found love.

Well done. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Been awhile since I've found a story this good. All the others have gotten boring so I stopped coming to this site for a long while.

It was a well written story that captured my ongoing love for twin tales, and had a lovely unexpected happy ending.

Excellent Reading This story counts as on of the best that I have read in the past year.

I found this continuity error.

Samantha led me into the walk-in shower

Samantha was the wrong name here. You actually meant that Megan walked her into the shower.

Be that as it may, I still gave you 5/5 stars 🌟. I've read two of the three stories that you currently have published here. I don't currently have any time available to dive into the third one right now. Maybe tomorrow but I'm certainly looking forward to it. Both of your stories that I have read had cute moments that totally cracked me up. I like your sense of humor and your dialog is wonderful. I particularly loved the scene when Zach turned the tables on Isabelle in the yearbook office and she muttered "Fucker". That was golden. Ever since I was 15 or 16, I had decided that I wasn't a tit man, a leg man, or an ass man. My favorite part of the female anatomy is the neck and earlobes. That scene reminded me of when I was first dating my second wife. Somehow the subject of sexual expertise was brought up in conversation. She asked me, "so how good are you actually?" My reply was, "I'm so damn good that I don't have to brag about it." She snickered and said, "yeah, right!". A few moments later we began making out. After kissing for several minutes, I pecked her on the cheek a couple of times working my way to her neck and earlobes. It didn't take me but a minute and I had her kicking the floorboards of my car as she came. She grabbed the back of my hair and pulled me just far enough away that she could look deeply into my eyes. "I fucking hate you!" She muttered before jamming her tongue down my throat. She became the first and only girl to go all the way with me on a second date that very same night. Like I said, she hated me so much that we had 3 kids and were married for 25 and a half years.

I got sidetracked and forgot about another comment/question that I had. I really want to know if Ava was faking her passion and orgasms with Zach or was she really and truly getting off to him? It would mean so much more if you had somehow included a comment from Ava to Belle along the lines of "Your brother really surprised me! I didn't expect to get off like that with him!" Belle's comments lead the reader to believe that it was all just an act to boost Zach's ego and confidence. That's sad. 😥

Great story.

I won't repeat other people's comments.

But two questions remain.

Why did Ava change her mind about Bella being Zach's first. Plus the use of a condom? Is she not in control? Otherwise it's just not virginity deprivation. Like for a girl to use a dildo. There was penetration, the hymen was torn, but technically she's a virgin.

The second question is about the author killing Zach and Belle's budding romance. She never understood what Twins Love was and Zach didn't explain it to her.

And then there were the smaller questions too.

It's also a shame that the author started to change the direction of the story as he went along. After all, it was intended as an idea that out of trying to help a brother was born a love for him. But then the author got carried away with new ideas and switched to a lesbian theme and the incest theme receded into the background. It would have made more sense to just write a new story, a continuation of the first one. The development of Belle and Zach's relationship and life and their friends.

It looks like the author isn't going to write any more. Three stories in three months. And now not a single one for over a year. That's a shame. There's a lot of potential.

Beginning to about page 7 was good but the Ava and belle ending to me, was not needed at all. Again it’s called incest/taboo for a reason and there is a separate category for lesbian!

Great up until the invite to Ava's. She wanted to make his first time special, but aside from it being with the hottest girl in school, it was clinical as all fuck. No they weren't in love, but there was no emotional investment from her at all. Also, with the amount of buildup and apparently uncontrollable passion between the siblings, in a story entitled "Brother's Little Dick Works Fine", for what should be the climax of the story to be cropped to "...I fucked him. Twice" is extremely disappointing. And then they're just done? Even Ava knew how significant that moment should have been, lol, that's why Belle couldn't be his first. Sorry to rag, but the end of this one fell flat once the titular brother became an afterthought and it became the Belle and Ava story.

I loved this story. This is one of the most caring, passionate, and loving stories of a sister and brother. Your writing style is great. I could truly feel the emotion and passion between Belle and Zack. Don't stop writing.

Very nice

Wtf was that ending?? The whole story was a buildup between siblings and then abruptly just disappeared, absolute shit ending, please never write anything again you clearly can’t make a climax of the story

While I really enjoyed the story, the rambling between story plot lines was confusing! Is she in love with her brother??? Is she gay???

The conclusion with Ava was a head scratcher. WTF!!

The writing was excellent but needed to be condensed. Concentrate on the aspects of sibling incest and the plot with Ava could be a separate entity. The ending was too rushed. Nine pages could have been condensed to 4 or 5. Too much minutiae, overly descriptive, a good editor could have helped the flow.

However, I enjoyed the story and the author is very talented. Interesting characters and believable dialogue.

Five stars for originality!

I didn't get the pacing. One paragraph they're masturbating the next paragraph she blows him at school publicly while talking incredibly dirty to him. I Feel like that was much too fast. The relationships were all over the place.

in twenty years of reading this site, this is my favorite story. tender, careful, beautiful, fanciful, dreamy and generous with every character. made me kind of weepy, to be honest.

Hate how Ava was involved in the story and took Zach's Virginity and how Zach and Belle didn't get together in the end worst story ever

I absolutely love the story would like to hear more about Ava and Belle