All Comments on 'Bruises'

More please. Great story. I wonder what happens next though. Have they made a baby? Do they move in together? So much more to explore yet. Please

Nicely paced with a good build. Will you have a followup story?

Clearly, these two have a story that needs to be told!

This was an enjoyable tale, but there is one thing that I found annoying.

"I love you." She whispered.

100% incorrect mechanics. You are consistent though.

"I love you," she whispered.

That is correct. "I love you?" she whispered. is the same sentence with a question mark and no capitalization following the quotation mark. An exclamation point follows the same rule. This shouldn't be difficult to correct, though it is a habit that you may find hard to break. Please, do try.

I also suggest you read through your submissions better before hitting that Submit button. Slowly read them out loud. That simple act will let you find the many places with missing or errant words.

I did give you a high rating, this time. Don't count on it from me in the future if you don't work a little harder on the mechanics of writing.

Very well done. Great story. I liked the pace of them getting together.

Please add part 2 to this great story.

Very good story I hope there is a part 2 it felt like the ending was unfinished.

Amazing story, thanks for the great read

Terrific. Well paced which made it very believable. Felt I was in Austria with them and keen on a threesome!

Well told! Great relationship dynamics and you did a great job revealing their true feelings for each other. I can't wait for the next part! 5*

MORE PLS. MUCH MORE!!!!!!!!!!!

Very well written and transitions. I always look fir two things for selection to read: current rating (usually close to my own rating); word count/number of pages (rarely go beyond first page if more than 5. Don’t catch my interest within that page? AMF); and finally the it HAS TO BE A FREAKING AWESOME story if it passes the first two above to even warrant my reading the first page if it’s Brother/Sister theme. But dude, you rocked it with your FREAKING AWESOME writing abilities. 10*, but damn it, can only give you 5. So One Fav click coming up.

Thanks. I enjoyed the story, hope you write a 2nd chapter.

Nicely done. Good characters, slow build, fun story. Another chapter is needed to resolve their issues.

Wholesome sibling romance is just what I needed to start the year

5/5

A very interesting ride, perhaps overly traumatic for the reader at times. Knowing from the dialogue and spelling in places that the author was a Brit make it more worrisome. That 'joke' about being pegged had me thinking, 'Oh please, not that beta shit again.' Then the comment from Tracey about the other guy's big cock had me thinking, 'Oh no, she's going to want to try it out, too... Brit cuck story incoming...' but then, magically, David_Autumn turned out not to be the typical British beta with this story and Rae didn't turn out to just be some cheap slut wanting him to take her dogging when they got home. Perhaps if I hadn't been already exposed to far too much of the British stories here, I wouldn't have worried about those things at all and just enjoyed it, though that pegging joke would never be made, or even in the vocabulary, of any straight guy in other parts of the world. It felt like I could finally exhale at the end, when the risk of the usual disappointment evaporated. I'm sure people will beg for another chapter, or more than one, to 'finish the story' even though the ending you wrote leaves the pregnancy question open, but allows the reader to decide for themselves. Put a bow on this one, it's done. A well done roller coaster that is worth the five stars, to be sure.

Very, very nice. I enjoyed your story but wonder if there will be a sequel. I'd like a follow-up on these two characters that you developed so well and I came to like. If need be, I will use my own imagination . Thank you.

Great story up to this point. Hope there are plans to finish their story. Your build up was great as d coffee an stated. Well done!!!

Loved it. Would love to see a continuation. The difficulty of having to deal with a pregnancy they are not prepared for, while navigating around potentially very unsympathetic -- or worst case, even hostile -- parents, would make for a very good test of their love, and allow it to strengthen even further.

In any case, there is never enough brother-sister romance stories, but this one is exceptionally well written. As long as it remains a straightforward and exclusive romance between two siblings with a happy ending, I'm more than eager to see where-ever you go with it. You can count me among one of your fans.

Beautifully written, loved it! 5/5 for sure. Can't wait for the baby and HEA in the next chapter, fingers crossed! Thanks for this!

Wonderfully done. The characters danced off the page. You delivered and I invested. Perfect tone and rhythm, especially geared for genuine love between. Thank you for your hard work and look forward to more.

Love this story very much, great writing. This would make a great series. Looking forward to reading anything else you write

Terrific writing - I felt like I got to know John and Rae, faults and all, and really enjoyed the journey with them. I'll be looking for more works from you, whether a continuation of this story or something brand new!

I LOVED WHOLE STORY, HOPE YOU DO A PART 2, WOULD LIKE TO KNOW HOW THEIR RELATIONSHIP GOES, WHAT HAPOENS NEXT.

Great story, would love a part II.

Been a pleasure to read truly amazing. Hopefully there's a part2 certainly love to hear there final chapter

Looking forward to reading more of your writing . I love how realistic it is in its slow burn and the way you reveal why John left and what happened to Rae

It's just like a 2.0 Colton and Heather in Forbidden by Thefountainpen - A love story of a little sister deepen into being abused, and an older brother who tried to hide his feelings by going so far away just to realize that the right solution is not going far, but being near. Both Forbidden and your story are impressed and emotional for me, and I want more development from both! I cannot tell who is more lucky: Heather or Rachel? Heather does not have any broken ribs like Rachel (as far as I know), but she has to live under her abusive father for a time that way longer than two years. Rachel seems to have a lovable parents, but the story might go down if they found out that their children were fall in love with each other (and even having unprotected sex so much). Heather, on the other hand, has no 'parents' to hide and is prepared for all of the consequences from confortably showing love to her brother (as Colton told her to prepare). Heather, however, has an 'hardcore' Colton on bed, while Rachel has a more gentle guy.

P/S: thank you so much for a story, and sorry for my bad English (I'm Vietnamese)

You really need to continue this story. I enjoyed every word

First story I've read from you, and it's a solid 5 stars. Loved it. The romance, the drama, the characters, the situations, all were very real and believable. I also liked were most of the story took place: either you've been there before, and did a really good research on the place because I could easily imagine it while reading. I just hope Rachel is not pregnant (not against it, just not yet), because it's a hard time for them to be at the end of the story. She's finally finding herself again, restarting her life, going back to (a new?) school to finish her last year... it's too much for now and if she turns out pregnant, it's going to very hard to do all that, along with answering some very difficult questions to her parents...

There were some minor typos and some small missing words, here and there. Nothing distracting, except for one: some contractions of "have" ('ve) were incorrectly used. It's just "have" or "has" when it's the only verb in use. For example: it's not "I've the car" or "She's a pencil", it's simply "I have the car" or "She has a pencil", because otherwise, it sounds and looks wrong, and not gramatically correct.

Jumping to your next story now.

Cheers!

If you left this story as is, it's still awesome but I am hoping that there is a sequel.

You say you like feedback as it improves your writing, well "practice makes perfect" so keep writing, thanks for a cracking read.

pretty good. lots of feelings explored and many more to explore in the coming days. wish there was more background on why the other girls abused her and Tracy probably sensing they were really brother and sister and calling it out to them. hard to believe there is an 18 year old non virgin not on birth control. would have been funny to read about him running to and from a store for condoms and Tracy seeing him, LOL. Also, what tour groups check in on a Sat. as weekend travelers are usually F, S, and leave on Sunday

a wonderful story, thank you for sharing it. part 2?...please : ) 5*

I thoroughly enjoyed the story. Other than a few typo's it was a great read. Its the first story of yours I have read and I look forward to a part 2 of this one and I look forward to reading more of your work. thank you.

Thanks for all the comments.

I have no plans currently to do a part 2 to this, as it was only intended as a stand alone, but who knows.

To clarify for @dirtyoldbiman

Maybe I didn't make it clear enough, they were there for a week, not a weekend. Though not a rule, generally winter sports tours check in on a Saturday, for a week.

Thank you for a great story. 5 stars isn’t enough.

You did a good job...pacing was excellent along with the dialogue. I liked that you didn't get them to jump into group sex. Could it use an additional chapter? Sure thing and I am sure I would enjoy it. Thanks!

This is one of the top 5 stories I've read on the site, and I've been here for a year

I hope you keep writing

Truly a well-written, thoroughly enjoyable story. Thank you, David_Autumn.

Fantastic story, David. I also think this story very well lends itself to a part 2 continuation and would welcome one. You left some loose ends here that could be answered in part 2, like did Rae get pregnant, does she change schools and move in with her brother. You could also have some karma hit the girls who were torturing her, like maybe a car wreck that leaves them scarred for life or something of that nature. Keep up the good work; you show plenty of talent man!

Great story and character development. Thank you for sharing. Please continue with your writing...

A great story 5/5. I'd love to know what happened to the couple later in life. Maybe another story with them?

We definitely need a part 2 to this one.

Perfection! Would love a sequel, maybe where their parents find out, but slowly come to accept it, and maybe they do get pregnant, and we get to see them become parents together.

CINCO ESTRELLAS! I LOVED IT.

Very enjoyable story. Would love a part 2.

Thank you a fantastic story. Please add a second chapter to a great story.

Nice segue - Please, no pregnancy - Maybe get Tracey involved . . . .

That was lovely. They belong together. The abuse she endured from that pack of thunder-cunts (nice term btw) was fucked up. Would have been nice if karma paid them a visit. Wish there was more to read here. Feel like this is just the start of their journey.