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Click hereThey were interrupted by a loud "Hurrummph!" followed by "most people find these presentation ceremonies so stiff and formal ..."
Bryan stopped spinning and dropped Carla lightly on her feet and both smartly turned and saluted, as they stood to attention in front of the King and the Prince of Wales, who had stopped close by. They returned their salutes, while the King continued,
"... but I am refreshed to see that my Colonel of the Household Cavalry and his good lady subaltern are full of the joys of spring." He turned from his son to address the Colonel directly.
"So, Bryan. To what do we owe this outburst of joy, surely not the well-deserved silver cross and ribbon I've just pinned upon your tunic?"
"No, your Majesty, my wife has just announced that we are due a new addition to our family."
"Our congratulations, to you both, Carla and Bryan," the King replied, meaning HIS congratulations, "We have always felt that you and your dear family's relationship was destined to be most enduring of all our acquaintances. To what, pray, does one attribute to your familial success."
"Yes, come now Colonel," agreed the Prince of Wales, "spill the beans, Bryan!"
Bryan looked at Carla, who smiled and nodded slightly, agreeing with her husband to continue.
"Well, your Majesty, and your Highness, I understand Prince Harry is well into puberty and Princess Charlotte is-
"Harry's coping, but Charlotte, well, she's being an absolute nightmare-"
"In that case, Sir, what Carla and I would suggest is this...."
The End
- COMMENTS
Anonymousabout 1 year agoFUCKING STUPID ENDING!!
WHAT WAS THE POINT OF HAVING THE SLUT CASSIE IN THE STORY WHO'SHOT FOR ARON, FUCKING UNNECESSARY!!
Anonymousover 1 year agoGreat story! Too long? Not at all! Very well put together plot and description of thoughts and actions. And TheOldRomantic you’re doing great with language. Nice comments- keep up the good work!
Anonymousover 2 years agoI loved the overall story, but it could have been organized better. First, much of the early story was set up as recalling past events. Why not start the story in the past when they were your teens. Second, there were a couple disjoint sections. We find out the plan for marriage of Carla & Bryan late night when the parents receive the text. In the next section we go back to earlier in the day and read about the interaction between them where he proposes. So, the excitement was stolen in the preceding section. Similarly, he earlier learns he is a father from the Register person. This announcement should have come from Carla. Again, a great story concept, it just was not well executed.
Anonymousover 2 years agoThe rape background plot added nothing to the story. Should have left it out.
Spencerfictionover 3 years agoAuthorRancher46 the stars you give are yours to give and no matter how many hours we writers pore over these stories to provide you with entertainment, you are completely at liberty to express your score based on a single paragraph,
I just want to point out that in the supermarket Bryan is told by a family friend Mrs Kingston that Brie has his eyes and at the BBQ moments before the drunken outburst by the thug next door, Bryan's mother is in tears of joy because Brie is the spitting image of her sister at that age, and throughout the story there I are several references to an immediate clear bonding between daughter and father. So the characters involved don’t think there is any doubt and I don’t think the average reader would be in doubt.
That aside, this story is based on the relationships between these two united families and the actual sperm donor for Brie is insignificant compared to the strength on unity of this relationship, still, delighted you appeared to have enjoyed 90% of the story.
Rancher46over 3 years agoWell when the story at the BBQ took a down turn by Gary Cox claiming that he took Carla's virginity by raping her, and then the story suddenly jumps forward 16 years without, one confirming that Bryanna was actually Bryans daughter and two having Jennifer and Gary being held accountable Carla's rape. That just ruined the rest of the story for me. Sorry, but that in itself caused the 5 stars I was intending to give end up 2 star.
dpm7242almost 4 years agoA good storyline but too many inaccuracies.
The story feels like it was written by someone with only a passing familiarity with Britain, the British Army and the way the British are. Either that or written by someone not old enough to have experienced life and found that s coal.someone.
Good effort though
SAV12over 5 years agoOK THAT WAS A VERY GOOD STORY. I HAVE TO SAY THAT YOUR STORY SHOULD NOT STOP HERE. YOU SHOULD CONTINUE THIS SERIES WITH A FOLLOW UP. PERHAPS FOLLOWING BRIANNA AND HER FRIEND CASSANDRA. FOLLOW CASSIE'S PERSUIT OF BRI'S YOUNGER BROTHER, AARON. BRI'S FUTURE IN COMMUNICATIONS.
Anonymousabout 6 years agoA very nice story, but three quarters fill-in, which took away from it..... I scrolled most of the meaningless prattle.
