All Comments on 'Bully Takes His Prey's Mum'

Juvenile frustrations

Grammar and spelling errors can be overlooked.Good stroke tale.

SPELL CHECK!!!! Takes away from the story when I have to stop & figure out what the hell you're saying. Its accepting not excepting.

Your spelling is terrible and the plot sounds more like a one page porn plot. 1*

No one wants to b raped dont put it in nin consensual and then have the oman beg for iit reall stupid

Garbage

Get the names right! Its not that hard, its either Sam or Steve.

A good first effort tho it needs more polish.

Ignore the haters of non-consensual. There are haters in every section except "vanilla". Since the stories are clearly labeled non-consensual or whatever other fetish is being written about, there really is no excuse for them to enter the section.

You need to slow down the action. The bully might have started with just a grope of a breast. Remember- even tho a bully, he's young and it would take time to escalate the section. The mother might vary back and forth between being resistant and interested.

Finally, she's going to get caught eventually unless the affair ends and that would make things go horribly. One exit would be for the bully to get a girlfriend and see her less.

But short term clean up the spelling and inconsistencies mentioned and just slow it down a little.

What utter rubbish is this eh??

"Authors" like you are lowering the standard of this site !!

Also your grammar needs work as well!

Good first start; don't let the haters bother you. Seek help with advice, editing, and prereading.

The idea, and plot behind your story is enjoyable. However your terrible spelling, and grammar make this hardly readable. This appears to be just a rough draft, yet it got published. Take the time to fix these errors. Also the story appears to be too short, and the sex scenes are not well written. Here is some constructive criticism. You spent no time establishing any sort of bond between the mother, and son. That would add some emotional meaning to her betrayal. Perhaps the son was spying on the mother, and bully jerking off hiding in the closet? Add some sort of plot twist or it is too boring! Also the mother is "broken" much to quickly for this to be believable. It's basically "You blow me now!" followed by her dropping to her knees... She was much to quick to submit to the bully. Have her say no the first couple of times... Then have her son come home with a black eye one day, and a broken nose the other... Try harder next time. It's better to release 1 good story than 2 bad stories.

Should not be posting to erotic web sites.

Your stories are like the old Penthouse stories. You had to keep them close to 100 words or so. Write more, write longer. Develop your characters. Read some of the more prolific writers in your genre.

Plan for a longer and more involved set of circumstances so we, your readers, can watch and appreciate the evolution and change in them people. Carefully outline what happens and why so it is complete and sensual.

A bully making his vicim's mom his sex slave. I love it.

The story has a nice premise, but fails to deliver convincingly. To start, there are quite a few silly errors (including confusing the names of the bully and his victim in the very first paragraph). More importantly, however, the story is too short and the development of the mother's desire for the bully does not really get explained well enough. I'm actually a little surprised that a Literotica editor allowed this to go live n here. Oh well, keep trying and you'll get there.

This sounds familiar as my mom also submitted to my bully. I am 20 yrs old and he is 18. I did enjoy your story however and hope you add more chapters. If you would care to correspond my e mail is united32dch@aol.com

Time for you to continue Miranda's acceptance of James dominance!

Looking forward to reading future chapters.

Looking forward to seeing James exercise his control over Mum, including some humiliation for Steve as well.

Seriously, this is the best you've got?

Glad I found this story, hot!

Nice story. Some typos. But all and all a nice story.

Same old story. Despite being in the non consensual category the woman as always within the first meeting has turned into a raging nympho who needs duck or she'll die!! Oh and use spell check ffs

Man, was this awful. Ordinary English wrong all over the place. Can even keep the names straight. Unrealistic characters.

Please make more chapters for this story, would love to see how far more depraved James makes his milf bitch for his cock! Make them hide their relationship for a bit then let the big reveal to the son, who learns that James has dominated his way into becoming the MAN of the house and now owns his slut mom and him forever!