All Comments on 'Bureaucratic Snafu'

You really need an editor. There are so many typos.

I did give this a four out of five, as it is very well written, and the important bits of the story are quite well done. You also concocted a really interesting setting, though I’ll admit that world is the stuff of nightmares, lol.

What hurts the story most, however, is the info dump. Paragraph after paragraph of world info, and it’s not introduced organically in anyway. The protag literally lists all the terminology, one piece after another, followed by what it means in laymen’s terms. The bulk of your potential readers will be turned off before they give it a chance, simply because the world building is introduced in such a jarring way.

That said, it still was enjoyable, and I hope to see more of your creations in the future.

One of your best. I liked Perfect Tens and some of your other stories though so no surprise there. I can say it's not like any other I've read & it's well constructed in my opinion. Thanks

As always, another enjoyable story! I especially like the legal “manoeuvring”. Maybe there is a sequel?

OK, as others have mentioned, there are "typos" but they consist of your spell checker correcting stuff int correct spelling, but wrong word choice. As you even stated, you give it a brief once over, so no big deal. I''ve seen worse. I did like the story although, yes, there is a big info dump at the beginning & its hard to keep some of them straight. There is also a loophole ou can explotto write a sequel. Your protagonist says the company changes the manual 2-3 times a week. They can easily change the definition of "sexual intercourse" As I said though, I liked it, & thought it a great story.

I don't care if there were any typos or grammar problems. It was a good story, interesting concept and well written. Just what I look for from the website.

Thank you for an interesting read.

So, reading this made me SO angry on behalf of your main characters. I was so fucking livid at deliberate malice in the contracts that I couldn't really enjoy the story. The sex scenes as usual were great, and I've given it 5 stars because of that, but holy fuck I wish it didn't do such a good job of making me angry.

Great Story! Fuck the Comany. Liked it. But it is still incest, isn’t it?

Loved it.

Love it...but...the way you were making her sound soon she would have him deep in her cunt making babies

You made George Orwell proud lol

Loved it. I have a SiFi in the works too. I think you should take us further into the system. It's frightening, but realistic. I can see your future as real. Takes us further on this journey. I won't suggest how as you are more than capitable.

XYZ

I seriously loved this one, the dystopic feel was on point and it deserves more.

To answer the previous point by @Lord_Jefe, the CONTRACT can't be changed, but the operational manuals can. That's how she got them, her contract, signed at 8, is sacrosanct. The other stuff could be changed, but not that. And the implication was her contract was nicer than her brothers as they'd made changes to the boiler plate. But seriously, why pop out kids to give away? She has the right of it, enjoy but fuck the man!

That was such a joy to read!!!

I hate to admit but it took me longer than it should have to realize this was a "future dystopia" type story. I also caught the name errors, but put them down as author errors not apart of the story till it was explained by the arbitrator. I loved Her solution and sticking it to the company. A really cool sequel would be the company ending their contracts due to 'low productivity' then they go off together and be 'very productive' together away from the company.

P.S. I love your view of typo's: Don't complain about the soundtrack in your porno, don't sweat the typos in your erotica!!! As a new writer I agree whole-heartedly. Thanks for sharing.

Good story and great work. There were a few typos that a second set of eyes would have likely picked up on.

As for the story and 'the company'... I'm sure glad I don't have to deal with the incompetent m.f.'s that all you people are about to get fucked by. I started fucking my sister by CHOICE, 68 years ago and it was her tight little cunt that I regularly penetrated. She'd been sucking me off for three or four months then one day, when she was about to suck me off, she told me that didn't like the taste of my cum. I gave her a choice and she agreed to let me put my cock in her pussy and fuck her, instead. She said her pussy was sore and wanted to suck me off the next time but she got fucked two more times before I let her suck on it. I fucked her four days in a row before she started moving her ass and fucking me back while I was fucking her. Two days later, I was fucking her when she started bucking, squirming, squealing and making animal grunting noises, as she had her first orgasm. Just as she was finishing, I shot my cum into her and I thought her pussy muscles were going to cut my cock off. The next day, she asked when we were going to do it again.

Great story. But if the company had the room bugged, then they heard how she exploited the contract and amend it. It may have saved her, but it ruined everyone else who was put in that position afterwards.

Not a bad story, although Mira decided to annoy the company by depriving her brother of children.

It's a wonderful story.

5 Star .

Brave new world Aldous Huxley's level anti-utopia . Could make a great novel or script a futuristic porn drama for a movie.

It's worth adding that Mira is also inexperienced in sex. Her ex-husband watched forbidden porn and tried to seduce her into oral and anal sex. But he wasn't successful.

After weeks or months of sex with her brother, Mira discovers a "calendar method" of contraception in old records. Now she can have full-fledged sex with her brother.

They don't go to work, because they don't have to work, they have to "make babies. They find in the instructions and the contract an opportunity to submit an "offer of change due to personnel errors" or other wording.The contract leads to a violation of the law - the contract is invalid, the victims receive compensation.

Mira and Casey get freedom, a lot of money and a house in the province. They stay together and build a family.

It's kinda like a combination of the book 1984 & The Twilight Zone TV series.

Absolutely hilarious and well-written. Terrific story.

I can actually see something like this happening on a space colony solely owned by a private corporation.

I predict they slip and pussy fuck. I won't tell anyone.

far too many abbreviations for no real reason.

Well FS inbreeding can be good. Honestly selective breeding without inbreeding is like a car without a fuel

To many abbreviations that were unnecessary in my opinion for the story ,,, 3⭐️ Here

[10.05.23]

Flippin' Brill concept annd an entertaining story!

11/10!!!!!

Hey for a technocratic corporation this company actually is kinda more fair with its employees and their labor rights than Amazon or Nestle

omg the ending of what you had said made me laugh so much.. i so so needed that good laugh after having a kind a bad day... on another note great story like how you had her stick it to the company in the end that was bloody great

I would respectfully suggest you reconsider doing only a cursory edit. Some errors pass the point of "a little rough).