All Comments on 'Burn This Whole Town Down'

Very good, but it ended to soon. This really should have a 2nd chapter. 1) He should be seeing a decent lawyer for the divorce - no way should he stay married to that cheating shrew - The judge should be reported to the judicial committee for what he did, and the divorce should be a lot more fair (why didn't Becky's dad insist on a pre-nup to protect her money from him?). So much more to tell. Please continue the story.

At least an epilogue for what happened to the whore and her family?

Story

Nice revenge story, But one would think an IT man could have come up with something more financially devilish!! Good read. Thanks for sharing.

Burn, Baby, Burn!

5

Wow!..Vengeance Will Be Mine?... So say'it Darth Vader with a can of fuel and a burning hatred against all that did him wrong...

I question the part about his "ex may still be his present" and wants to forgive and forget...YEAH!!...... NOT!!!!!!

5 Stars ☆☆☆☆☆

So what happened next? If the farcical divorce was cancelled, did he get a proper divorce from the slut that betrayed him?

After such extreme actions on both sides, the only way this feud would end is if either the husband or father-in-law died or was totally broken. So who won in the end? The husband had lost everything and Ronald Main had lost millions... but he wasn't bankrupt yet.

But what revenge it was. Now thats a BTB.

This story is boring as hell i.... it is BADLY written ...its implausible and it ends way too soon. The entire story comes to a conclusion because the husband calls his mother on the phone? And Miraculously all these things happen?

So what happens when he gets home? He surely won't take the bitch back? I was liking this story but the whole divorce thing seemed to be from the twilight zone. How did the stud hide his marriage from the bitch and how did he expect to get away with it? Why did she have a night of sex with the mc before serving him? That didn't fit with her behaviour after serving the papers. She was already well off. Why do what she did to someone who had done nothing but love her. I think a part 2 is needed where he goes from strength to strength and meets a decent girl.

Well, it was better than the tidal wave of cuck bullshit we've had to endure lately.

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Sadly, the story was pretty ridiculous. The wife was a caricature and everything done would have been easily thwarted.

This was an utter waste of time and not worth the time to itemize the criticisms. 2*

Well, it was somewhat entertaining, but that's all I can say. It's so full of so many holes that it just became silly. For example: The story said Josh had adopted his kids against his wishes...how? How did he do that?

And in practically the same sentence, it said he couldn't afford the child support. What child support? If Josh adopted them, then he no longer owes child support because they're not his kids anymore. And that's just two of the holes, this story is filled with them.

It's a silly story, entertaining to a degree, but completely unbelievable. There's just no way to suspend disbelief which, ultimately, makes the story vacuous.

This is such a terrible story that I fear it is your attempt at a parody. They really need to start letting us rate 0 stars, because that is what this travesty deserves.

Was a million miles away from the good stories you have posted on here.

Was a fairly good read just got to second page and spoiled it by feeling rushed, needs a part two so we know what happens to the kids. As it stands surely he'd be able to god to the state capital a and report it all to the FBI or something before he torched half the town. Otherwise why wouldn't he go back and re setup his life but have the kids taken from his wife was the judge would do it in revenge. Too many plot holes please finish.

Loved the story. But a bit hanging. I think it needs Chapter 2 :) 4 stars

Wont comment on the legal crap and stuff. The beginning was too much non detail. It dragged on and on. Should have been two paragraphs. At the end the mom takes in the wife? I see caring for the kids but not the wife. Why does becky toss josh? So what if they dont marry yet. He can still divorce his wife. he acts like he will go home not just for the kids but also the ex. She changed the divorce but not cancelled. Burning his building with no insurance was bad. He lost the business but nothing was said about the building. He may have still owned it.

Ridiculous!

Or, he could have gotten a lawyer from the state capital like the bailiff suggested, which might have actually accomplished something. This would have just gotten him thrown in prison.

Typical sad BTB crap, minus 5 and that's generous.

Guy need to get a lawyer to find out if the divorce and everything were really dropped and the file for divorce himself for infidelity using Becky’s divorce petition for evidence. Also file it in his new city.

I believe Rebecca, Joshua and Ronald and his wife would come up missing and never heard from again! Karma is really a bitch, Agnes...

BTB and the whole town. Excellent!

Just needs a followup as he needs to divorce her now.

You are a true hero of the loving wife category. The amount of garbage that has been published today your story is by far the best. It clearly stands out there and shows a proper loving wife category story. Yes there was a few things but I didn’t care this was a fantastic story and I’m pleased that you decided to publish a fantastic story today. So a big thank you for sharing your stories with me and others I’m just glad you were here to save the day . So as I said a big thank you for sharing your stories but please don’t leave it to long to read one of your fantastic stories.

I was trying to figure out as I read how you would tie everything up in two pages but you did it. It doesn't read like there will be a part 2, but I would like to know how the story ends. Great to see you writing again in 2021! 5*

When a protagonist is really so totally evil and without a lot of reason, the story actually loses interest.

And no amount of evil justifies a person to be judge and executioner, and certainly over-the-hill punishment is not something to be admired.

Was expecting major cyber warfare but all he did was disable alarms.

The rest was good planning good timing and flat out fun.

Good plot.

Outside of that this needs a lot of work.

Not very convincing at all.

Pity

This story is off the rails bad. Burning the whole town down....easy to determine the culprit here....grossly unrealistic...The betrayed husband would have been prime suspect number one, and arrested and jailed pronto. Very lame.

BOAW... it needs to have the ending extended

"The sex was alternately loving and gentle and then rough and tumble." - So, a woman CAN get both kinds of sex from her husband!

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The kids can't be adopted without his consent.

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Ronald never wanted him for a son-in-law? So why did he go along with railroading him into marriage? It makes no sense!

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How can he work there with the protection order?

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"Accelerate the loans?" As long as payments are made on time, loan terms are fixed. Anyone who signs a loan where the lender can unilaterally change the terms is a moron.

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"Since the fire alarm and fire suppression systems were integrated the sprinklers went off but no alarm went off. - If they're integrated, why would the sprinklers go off but not the alarms? If you're going into minute detail, be consistent - if the systems are integrated, then NEITHER should go ogg.

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There's no way he wouldn't be the prime suspect in the fires. The whole town goes up in flames just after he's shunned by the whole town? As someone else said, why not go to the capitol and get a lawyer to fight his railroaded divorce.

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He should definitely tell the bitch to shove her head up her own ass.

Couldn't suspend my sense of reality enough to like this one. It seemed very amateurish.

You do have the habit of taking what is a promising story and turning it into a pile of steaming shit with your less-than-mediocre writing.

You took BTB to BTWFT (burn the whole friggin’ town), and left the main character somehow looking like an angelic hero. After all, no one got killed so he was kind of a Robin Hood in his arsonist phase. Ok, so I’m suspending disbelief in the fact that he was not discovered. No witnesses to his beating the white clad chief, even in the small crowd into which he escaped, no security cameras, but, yeah, it was a fun tale so all is good. Thanks for writing!

No way.... Even the State Investigators would be after Ted to answer up for his whereabouts , mysterious departure, and tampered PC networks. It would not be hard to see the Fire system was tampered with pointing directly at Ted.

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Plus Ted ONLY went after businesses his EX-father-in-law/Ron & EX-wife owned and the Judges cars. But how many overnight became jobless in this small 1K population berg. The unemployed would be on a witch hunt for Ted as they now must travel 60mi one-way for possible new work.

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As romantic and justifiable this fire-bombing, first looks. it made too many innocent suffer. Even his old IT business employees are now jobless.

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Also the ultimate confrontation with Becky/Ron/Josh was never written nor if he ever got to see his kids. The story is just too short and illogical for me. Plus I do not think approved divorce processes can be altered without his concurrence, no matter how good it would benefit Ted; again a romantic fairy tale of right/wrong but lacks practicality. Plus he is now a dead-beat dad.

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3*. Hooyah...

just an amusing tale. Good fun for a Saturday morning. Thank you

Maybe a flight through the improbable but still a good story. I would like to see a continuation just so good old Tim gets his revenge and lives well. Thanks for the hard work.

Woodmanone

Did you even read the story? The protagonist is evil? He was literally robbed legally and harassed afterwards. I'm surprised the author didn't made the mc do more

At the time of my comment there have been 29 already posted. As I read them all kinds of questions were asked, but no one asked what happened to Josh. If he was still married, did Ronald know that when he gave him the job six months ago? Why did he skate the night of Hell Fire? Did Rebecca, Constance and Thaddeus go back to being Becky, Connie and Thad?

F.S. please write a follow up.

Firstly....just too much of a narrative style. Kind of boring.

Secondly.....kind of weird that such a backwoods locale run by a Boss Hog facsimile would all be using high tech alarm systems all tied together by WIFI 🤣

Finally.....the MC seemed to be very clueless for such a clever guy!

But still a decent read. 3***

Please finish it.

fun read! LOVE slap hapy papy #9

Writer fit a lot in a small space. I would like to find out the authors mindset on the wife. I know a rich father can have on a horrible effect on his daughters if they are not very strong. I know this from experience that their heads can be turned to something that they would not do Under circumstances away from their father. Could this be something the author was thinking? Or was this simply emotions run amok. A second part to the story would be great but if not it was still a good story.

This wasn't very good Farmer. You have done a lot better. The first half of page 1 can be summarized into a paragraph. Everything else was outrageous and preposterous. If characters are going to behave in an outrageous and unrealistic manner then context is necessary.

You 'fanaticized her'? She should have run! There is no 1000 and 2000 meter races. No one can adopt your kids without your permission, etc. lot of goings on for a town of 1000 people. 1*

A second chapter wherein he gets a good attorney, burns Becky to the ground, gets full custody and restarts his business in town would be good.

Quite liked the story idea but think it would have been better to g down the IT revenge route, Stripping bank accounts, false tax returns etc. Leaving them penniless. Destruction by fire is extremely risky business.

It is a fun story and I did enjoy reading it. It was rather stupid.

Once he went to court it got too stupid to continue, I hope it was better than what little I made it through.

Really good story on it’s own, but anything that pisses off HarryVag is just that much better. Surely this guy wouldn’t even consider staying married to that cheating bitch.

Great story and even greater to see Farmers_Son posting something after a to long hiatus. Five stars

I must have missed something in this story. Many commenters are saying how great it was but I just didn't see it. Ted gets royally screwed over and takes revenge on the whole town. That's great!! But...Since no one knows he did it the revenge factor for me is null. To me revenge would only be satisfying if the people you take revenge on knows you are responsible for their demise. Ted still has an absolute mess on his hands. He can't see or talk to his kids. Doesn't know if he's divorced etc. etc. Whole lot of untied up issues left hanging at the end. Hardly a story I would consider complete. More like a long flash story to me.

My first comment in a long time. Nice revenge against the low-life participants of this tale. I gave it a five because no one died. A good tale to start my comeback.

Nice start as someone else posted. You need to develop the story line & dialog quite a bit.

Too over the top for me. You can and have done better. Never mind the brainless Trump followers giving you accolades; the story was shit. 2*

I enjoyed it very much.

What non-sense -

"And no amount of evil justifies a person to be judge and executioner, and certainly over-the-hill punishment is not something to be admired.

It is easier said than done. Just because are not suffering from actual pain, preaching that philosophical non sense is easy.

Put yourself in that position only then you can understand, when society & justice system itself becomes the protector of evil then being "judge and executioner, & over-the-hill punishment" is only option left.

or

you can choose to spineless wimp & let evil rule.

that may be your definition but not for all.

A real farce. No way this shit could ever happen.

Too implausible, no dramatic impact

Good read.

A part 2 may be nice.

Mark

Fun read! It's like an old-time Good v. Eeeeevil story!!!

What was the point of listing most of the businesses in the town? Read like a Wikipedia description from the chamber of commerce.

"Up until recently I was married to a girl I knew all through middle and high school, Becky Mains-Meheron, now soon to remarry as our divorce is final." So this reads like he is telling this story in review, after everything happened. But in review the wife is trying to stop the divorce and her plans to marry her fuck buddy Josh are complicated by the fact that he's already married. So the story begins somewhere in the middle of what happened, with the beginning of the story being a review of what happened up to some point, and the rest of the story following from that point? I'm sure its just me.

"Now, I do have to state, that we were not high school sweethearts." Why? Why do we need to know all the details of their not dating, then their dating, then the wife seeming to chase and seduce him, going back to high school, or middle school? What has any of that got to do with what happened 7 years and two children after they are married? Is how she became a cheating whore after 7 years of marriage somehow foreshadowed somewhere in that obscure and detailed dating history?

"Becky had a brother who left home at age eighteen and fell off the face of the earth." What? Who cares? What has that got to do with anything? Apparently absolutely nothing since that is the one and only place her brother is mentioned. Why don't you tell us about her Aunts and Uncles, or some other family members who also have no role or place in this story? Weird.

"Years later I can look back and see how I was played into marriage." Years later? "By the time I finally figured out that she had lied about being pregnant the plans were set and the massive amount of invitations had been sent out. I confronted Becky and she just shrugged her shoulders." That's when I decided that WHATEVER this lying selfish manipulative bitch does to this dumb shit, he deserves it. Go Becky!! This dufus should get a Darwin award. Was that detail in the story and I just missed it?

The rest of the story was just too ridiculous for words, at least my words. You described it perfectly. Glad he wreaked havoc on all his enemies. Why'd you leave out the epilogue, where this poltroon is sucking Josh's cum out of Becky's cunt after she bamboozles him into reconciling, For The Children's Sake.

Nice try, but devolved into a cartoon before the last fires were started.

OK, better than anything else submitted today, I'll give you that. What a low bar. Thanks for the effort.

Good rough draft. Many plot holes. Get a good editor to sort all that out for you.

A few small thoughts:

Don't marry spoiled princesses.

Don't marry anyone with a degree in Women's Studies.

Don't marry a girl who lies to you about pregnancy or pretty much anything else.

Defensive ends don't play center field or run distance events.

Arson doesn't make everyone love you.

But at least the good guy won.

So many ridiculous plot holes. Everything in this story and many like this just seem to have everything work out just perfectly for the protagonist. When that happens the whole story just seems like a complete joke. It’s sad when an author has clearly been wronged ( in his mind at least) by a woman in his real life and then writes these revenge stories to make himself feel better. It truly speaks volumes as to the type of loser he really is. A hero was not created here, more like a total nutcase who thinks burning down a town was a good thing.

Agree with every commenter who rails against the complexity and extent. Example of omission ... no call mentioned about calling Mom ‘within a day or two!’ She, at a fairly later time, mentioned such a call, but she ALSO led out with “Glad you’re alive!” Mom contradicts herself in the same paragraph/phone call!

Also, ‘mute’ is, in one word, ‘silent.’ The near-homophone is ‘moot’ which roughly means ‘no longer relevant!’

2* I have seen the Old West movies where this degree of tyranny is depicted, but reject the likelihood it could come anywhere near this in Culverson, MidWestState. Even then, few of those had the ‘Hero’ burn out innocent parties. Not a commensurate punishment.

Yeah, I know, many legal holes, etc, but it made me smile. I guess I just loved to see the Bad Guys get kicked in the ass. Thanks for the smiles.

There should be a sequel.

I know there are lot of things unrealistic in this story, but I like the overall plot. With the second-world like infrastructure in some areas some things in this story are plausible especially with corruption.

sounds like a town full of retards to me and a little like that new word "Trumpism" lol i did like how it didnt get into physical violence and murder though. but even that wasnt very real lol

I somewhat liked it but I think it would need a second. ***

FS, I've read a number of your stories. Your stories start out interesting and rather good but end with conclusions that are usually unrealistic or incomplete. You need to slow down and think things out in your endings (and do some research). Don't be in such a rush to end making the story stupid.

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[Yes, I write but under another pen-name.] Plus the LW group is one of the hardest to get good ratings, too many arm-chair guru's in this group. If you get >4.0 in LW consider your story HOT!

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Put your first story edit down for a week - write something else. Go back to the original story and read it out LOUD to yourself. You'll amaze yourself how many fat-fingers you find and want to change. 2nd edit leave it for another week.

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Or find a proof reader (ya, I say poof reader as forget Editors they do not hitch their wagon to unknowns/newbies). But even a proof-reader is not easy to hook up with on L. Sense L does not rate 'Editors' or list them with a story how the hell do you know who is good or a plagiarist?

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GL, Hooyah, Salute.

I love seeing the bad guys get zonked, but "Rebecca" seemed to be getting a free ride. There seemed no logical reason the wealthy town princess would've wanted him in the first place. Especially enough to begin the marriage by using a lie. Yeah, hot chick, great sex, small town with limited options all make sense for him, but not for a wealthy girl that could've gone anywhere.

Maybe could have used his total computer control differently.

I agree the entire town are morons. Sounds like any town that was controlled by one specific party for long enough (Chicago, Detroit, etc). And, it is the anti-Trumpers that substitute corruption for the rule of law.

About Becky asking to speak with him. Bitch took part in his destruction. She said she'd been getting reacquainted with her boyfriend for months. Fuck her.

The title says it all. She still has his children, his business is destroyed, all he got was some revenge (good revenge) but no justice. Becky's ass needs to be taken down, sold to pimp in Africa.

Love the retribution. He needs to get custody of the kids, by proving how deranged his wife is [of course her father's actions can show he is unstable, so that can be proven he influenced his daughter(!)]. But when are you giving us the continuation. I'll give you 4 1/2 STARS to this point.

Aside from being utterly unbelievable,

Fuck that bitch Becky... should have been in one of the fires with Daddy if justice was truly to be served.

Good burn.

How could a bank just start up in a few days,where did they get their premises.Why would he burn properties eg convenience store of people who helped him?.Finally what happened to the divorce,did it go through and who got the kids?.

Guess Who 🦧Yes it's Me again💥

I've just re-read the story and I still reckon the ending was from the Brady Bunch "Mom being Carol homemaker wants him home and resume his husband and Daddy duties, because all the naughty people got their little pinkies burnt

"W.T.F."!.. He's entered the Twilight Zone

I still love it blah blah blah

5 Stars 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🐕‍🦺

Ronald and Joshua were let off too easily! Why was Joshua and Becky allowed to escape retribution? Amusing if unrealistic. 5*s.

none of that shit could happen in real time.

"A new country song stimulated this fantasy."

Does anyone know what this means? It was the second sentence in the intro to the story. I believe the key word is "fantasy"

An arsonist gets no sympathy from me.

Very badly developed plot of a little guy battling an all powerful wealthy guy.

Poorly developed characters or not developed. Revenge is a child’s fantasy. Ending was another childish fantasy where every thing just magically works out.

This supposed successful IT guy with a electronic key to every business’s computer system cannot think of better revenge than arson. Regardless of the Mayberry small town there would be state and federal arson investigators crawling over the burned ruins and guess who would be bubba’s bitch in prison.

Not bad. Regardless of local politics/influence, arson is illegal. It doesn’t matter whether buildings are insured, it’s still arson. Half the town burns, it’s clearly arson, and one man disappeared. No investigation? Unlikely.

Then there’s the call to his mom. He asked no questions? Not ‘why didn’t you let my kids stay with you, but tell Becky to sleep elsewhere?’ Why didn’t he tell his mother he’d begin a new divorce, and seek full custody?

Sociopathic

With this large number of arson fires at night it is certain that completely innocent people would be killed. There are always people sleeping in loading docks, people working late or dossing down in their offices, cleaning people, and random people in buildings when it is not expected. So this guy was willing to kill God knows how many "collateral damage" innocents to get his revenge?? What scum.

"I had fanaticized [sic] a little about her when we were in high school." Seriously?

Really? How old are you? Love the hate and revenge but, come on, make it believable!

I loved the fact that this guy fought back...but the ending here was much to simple compared to the rest of this story...and I felt let down by it............

Total and I mean total bullshit!!

Never saw an attorney. First person suspected. Been All Over him like stink on shit. Josh already married? What was wife doing all this time.? Author went his way with total disregard for making it at least in country of realism. Fantasy category

Not very believable. What are the woman’s motive? Why act like this? Is it so easy to burn half a town?

A good story AAAA+++

A tad of believability is always helpful in most stories. This one was devoid of even a smidgen.

Nice fantasy...

If it sounds to good to be true it is to good to be true. story believable. the guy must be on LSD

0 stars - I hate it. It is one lame story.

I realize it ruins the plot but there is no way someone gets railroaded that badly i to a “quickie divorce” that does not work

Then even though mentioned in the story of going out to get a legit lawyer he decides to become an arsonist which essentially carries attempted murder charges with it.

Normally fun this was really disappointing