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... what the hell. "removed all my semen". stopped reading at that point.

Sorry to rain on your parade by criticizing your very first submission. Could've been a top notch tale. But, it fell apart with the bit about getting kicked in the dick. While that certainly would've left the guy sore for a while, that's about all that would've happened. If they'd removed his prostate, it'd be a different matter. Do try again, though. Next time just stick to any anatomy and physiology you actually know something about.