All Comments on 'But...'

Great writing, hot story and appreciate the ending. Such a romantic! Have you thought about doing a 'her perspective'??? I'd love that ;)

Best. Story. Ever.

Not bad, but not attributing your quotes at the end is confusing. It's not clear who was saying what.

On the plus side, your sex scene was both realistic and sexy.

One small suggestion: your reveal would work better if you mentioned Kelly's hair color earlier in the story. As it stands, anyone who's heard the Pina Colada Song will know what's happening, but some readers won't know till Jeff's exposition.

Hot, but... a few typos and some awkwardly constructed sentences. Fortunately, writing gets better with practice.