All Comments on 'Butt Fuck College Admissions'

I found this to be very confusing. One moment the male was the one taking charge. A few lines later he was trying to back out of it while the woman was taking charge. Then some names changed. Things were back and forth all over the place, making it a very confusing experience. Maybe there was a good story behind all that, but it needs a lot of cleaning up to at least make the characters stay in character. I think fixing that part will also fix some of the other problems the story had.

What I liked was the overall story. You tied in current events to the story which was good. The is also some dark comedy in there that I liked. The story was a little confusing but I think is just because you got the names mixed up. Overall a strong story.

Sorry to say, but Anonymous (11-02-2019) is right. The scenes did not really match, no stringent storyline and people were acting out of character. You start with that dude whos a mathematician, who happens to have gone to the army, now wants to get to college and is bothered about the way getting there. Fair enough. You describe him as egocentric asshole, one who is buff and dominating and believes all women are sluts that wanna get fucked. This is your layout. He meets that Milf, tells her straight she needs a good fucking and verbally abuses her. For whatever reason she gets horny and gets down on him. Now he is acting all defensive and docile out of the sudden. That is totally out of character. Why would he do that? He either is dominating or not. If she is immediately willing to spread her legs for him, wouldn't she proof his idea of women being fuck-sluts? So you end up describing him defensive and not willing to have sex. Ok, but how come he is forcing her to have anal in the end? That does not make any sense. You should always stick with the character and ask yourself: "How would that type of character act in a given situation?" You got a guy here, who fucks around a lot, believes all women are cum-dumpsters and there is a woman who acts accordingly. Wouldn't he rather command her to get down on her knees and give him deep-throat until she passes out? Or if she is the sex-starving Milf, she could act all out cougar and force herself on a shy guy who wants to join her college. But he is no shy guy is he?

Then take a look at the scene at home, where for whatever reason she attempts to get down on her son. That son basically says: "I don't want sex with you, see, there is my gym-instructor I want you to meet! He is buff and has a massive dick! Fuck him instead!" (Reading between the lines that is.) What I mean is this: the scene at home and the son are completely unnessessary for the story. If you had left it out, nobody would miss it and if nobody would miss it, why leaving it in there?

I don't want to discourage you from writing. You should go ahead and write and contribute lots of stories, but I would like you to consider those questions when you are planning your next story. Who are the characters? How would they act in a given situation? What scenes do support the story? What scenes do not contribute to the story?