All Comments on 'C.A.R.P. (Ch. 01 of 13)'

CP, DUDE! I'm interested, hooked, but with nothing more to read! Great job creating backstory and motivation while leaving us desiring more. Looking forward to the next 12 chapters with great anticipation and expectations.

interesting opening, reminds me of The Harrad Experiment by Robert Rimmer.

Good start, you baited the hook well.

Your reference to Stoppard's quote reminded me of Akebourne's House and Garden where every exit in the one play was an entrance in the other. Akeborn's theatrical innovations get less play because he wrote comedy than Stoppard who didn't.

Damn it, you hooked me.

Looking forward to the next 12 chapters.

Ok I wonder where this is going.

Intriguing start, looking forward to more...

Nice start. You've hooked me

Dr beulahthemick; Decent start, but remember what I was told when I started at uni, if you sign the Official Secrets Act, you are duty bound to copy everything and publish the lot on the web. FBI, CIA, MI5, etc do not care about ordinary people, just those at the top and ensure that they stay at the top. Leak, leak and spill the beans.

Great start! Hooked already, hope we don't have to wait too long for the next chapters!

As with most of your work it's well written and the idea is intriguing.

But,

I'm wondering how often you'll get around to posting chapters of your (several) other stories I'm following, to many irons in the fire can lead to lackadaisical attention to the individual pieces.

Keep writing and I'll keep reading but I do enjoy having regular updates as apposed to regular expansion.

This is a very attractive lure. Well cast and jiggled just perfectly. I am hooked , just like the previous commentators

Hmmm, intriguing? Interesting proposition, intense foreshadowing, let's see where it goes next. 4 stars for the opening, because it doesn't quite settle into the tale seamlessly, but I'll keep reading. BTW - you may have dug yourself into a hole in the Quaranteam Sagas, going in too many directions at once and trying to keep too many story lines alive. And there REALLY is a limit to how many women a man, even an enhanced man, can successfully service.

A college with classes every day? That it sounds like all the students will be attending? That's certainly an unusual college.

I am hooked, looking forward to more chapters.

This line made me laugh, because that's exactly what happened to my back: "Teachers used to give me shit about it, how I was going to pull my back one day if I didn't wear the backpack on both shoulders like it was intended."

Before that, you made me question my sanity for a moment when you said not to worry if I hadn't heard of Canton, OH. I had to do a quick Google search to confirm that the Pro Football Hall of Fame really is in Canton...

@vanye - The main reason that the college class structure differs to greatly from high school is the variety of classes and majors they offer. A college with limited class and major options would be more efficient using the high school format to limit the number of sessions a professor needs to teach for any particular class.

I also struggle with stories that are clearly written by somebody who hasn't attended college and writes it like the high school format they are familiar with, but this seems to be more of a specialty college where it makes sense rather than a lack of knowledge by the author.

I'm fully prepared to be wrong and disappointed, but I'm hoping that won't be the case.

@vanye - At most colleges and universities, the number of classes a student attends daily/weekly is wholly dependent on the student in question. For example, I went to class five days a week, starting at 8am and was done for the day by noon. With that type of schedule, I took about 21 credits per semester (the maximum amount allowed) and finished school a year early. For some of my friends, they took the absolute minimum requirement for full time students (12 credits) every semester and could barely make it to a 10am class twice a week. I took getting in and out of university very seriously, so I made a concerted effort to make my class load feel as much like a professional working schedule as possible. As a bonus, my schedule left me plenty of time for working and having fun. I just couldn't go overboard on Sundays ;)

I love Pink Floyd's album 'Wish You Were Here'. It has stood the test of time with every song being amazing, and I will always rank 'Have a Cigar' as one of my all time favorite songs, but I feel like Pink Floyd's 'On The Turning Away' would've been a better song choice. I say this because the songs lyrics (at least to me) feel more about what JT wanted to see in the world. A commentary on society with the hopes that people look and become the change that impacts others lives rather than turning away.

Fun Fact: 'Have a Cigar' was not sung by Roger Waters or David Gilmore, but instead by Roy Harper. There are only 2 songs not sung by members of Pink Floyd with the other being 'Great Gig in the Sky' with Clare Torry, but she didn't actually sing with lyrics (she improvised her performance).

Okay, lm in, l hope the 13 chapters come thick and fast. I like a long story

5/5

Ok down another rabbit hole with you...can't wait for more

Like others, I'm in. Let's get going. Please don't make us wait long.

Yay!!! Killer new story from one of the best here on Lit!!!

FDD

Just a random question. Given you dropped this on Pateron in early Nov are you planning this one update a week no matter how many updates you release over on Pateron or is there a plan dump in the works? Because I'm honestly wonder how I should go forward with supporting you or not.

So, you can always read my news updates done (generally) on Wednesday for free over at the Patreon, even if you aren't a subscriber. I always have the weekly update set so anyone can read it. Typically I'm doing one posting a week on public sites, but sometimes I will drop two in a given week, although rarely more than that. Stories have a six month exclusivity for my Patreon, so, for example, CARP has I think the first 4 chapters out over there. There's also a couple of stories that are Patreon only (at the tier 2 and up - Brewster's Brood and Breakpoint) and those won't ever hit the free sites, although I may put them on sale as ebooks/physical media when they're finished. But everything will be over at the Patreon for several months before it goes anywhere else. That said, most of it does eventually hit the public sites. So if you want to join up for $3/$6 a month, feel free and I'd love the support. If you just want to wait until it hits the free sites, hey, happy reading.

Manila. a manila folder.

Ok, now that the pedantic itch got scratched, nice intro. I'm interested.

Inviting, great hook for new series. Looking forward to more.

nice setup.

Just one request - coming from having just read your most recent Phil's Story in Quaranteam - don't be overt about politics here, ok? No matter where your reader is on the current political nonsense, it will just turn them off, and this promises to be a very enjoyable story.

One even suspects the main character's yearnings for his life's work may find resonance in your own - and if so, go to it!

Good setup, I'm hooked already.

You have my attention C.P lets see what journey your setting me up for now.

Please stop saying no one has heard of Canton, Ohio. It’s the home of the Pro Football Hall of Fame. The Pro Football Hall of Fame has welcomed more than 10 million fans. Each year, visitors travel from each of the 50 states and from upward of 70 foreign countries to tour the Hall of Fame.

Someone already noted: "M"anilla folders.

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Your paragraph about the "At the Root" short story that came 3rd seemed awfully close to Richard Dawkins work that described "memes" in the late 60's.

.

And am I getting foreshadowing of Robert Heinlein views of relationships in the "you can do better" discussion of his break up with his girlfriend?

.

Carry on...

Short but I'm intrigued!!!

"(The doctor came to see you) to invite HER to her school...".

Also, a sentence on Page 1 was missing a key word!

Very interesting beginning to this series...and so good I am captivated. Reading the next chapters will be an exercise in "discernment" on my part; as another reader commented, depart from the story track into politics, etc will turn me off and end my reading, with an accompanying score for the whole thing.

So, please, I hope the rest of the series is not a disappointment...in fact, I see a lot of good potential, if your initial description of "group sex" is accurate!!

And, I can overlook errors, a few, in the interest of being objective!!

Five Stars, so far!🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

The normal thing to ask in regard to a new Collage/University opening is the school accredited. Otherwise, those 4 years mean just about nothing. I wouldn't move forward until I had an understanding of that.