Caleb 33 - Tough Love

I chuckled, but relaxed into her arms as Amanda and Mary joined us on the bed. I drifted off, still enjoying my post orgasmic haze.

Four a.m. saw me awake and raring to go. Jules, Mary and Amanda, less so. I decided to let them sleep, and I went for a run. It had been some time since I had done that. When I got back, I showered and made breakfast. The girls - even Jules - had also gone out for a run, and returned about ten minutes after I did. I sent them to shower and then they came to breakfast. I got a kiss from each. Jules gave me her closed mouth, tender kiss, and I knew that she was done with sex for roughly another month.

After eating and clearing breakfast, we decided to kill some time washing the cars. It was about eight in the morning when we started, but apparently that was too early for the neighbors.

A small man wearing what looked to be plaid pajamas came storming across the road, shouting.

"You can't do that," he yelled at Amanda, who was closest. That really didn't enamor him to me at all, although Amanda wasn't fazed in the slightest.

"Excuse me?" I said. "Please don't yell at my fiancée. We're not doing anything other than washing our vehicles on our own property. What's the problem?"

"It's too early," he said. "HOA rules prohibit any outside work on your property on the weekend before ten - and twelve if you are going to use power tools."

"Is that right?" I asked, amused. I wasn't aware that we were even in a homeowner's association, and made a note to check if we were or not. I decided to play along for the moment.

"My apologies," I said. "I wasn't aware that there was even a HOA here. Would you have a copy of the rules by any chance?"

"I can bring the paperwork over," he said, mollified. "You need to pay your HOA dues in any case. I think the realtors will have paid a quarter for you, so you are probably behind on that too."

"That would be good," I said. "If you drop them off, we'll take a look."

He bustled off, looking pleased with himself. I telephoned Dean.

"Hey son, what's up?" he answered.

"Hi Pops, quick question. When you bought the house, was there any mention of a HOA?"

"My lawyer didn't say anything about it, and it's something that should be declared. Let me give him a call and I'll get back to you."

"On a Sunday?" I asked. "Will he even answer?"

I could hear his grin. "Son, with the money I'm paying him, he better answer."

I laughed.

"I'll call you back," he said and disconnected the phone.

True to his word, he called back about fifteen minutes later.

"Hey Pops," I answered my phone.

"Have you signed anything?" he asked without preamble.

"No," I said. "The guy from across the street came over this morning and said we couldn't wash our cars because of HOA rules. Then he said he would drop in the paperwork and collect our dues, which were overdue."

"Tell him to take a hike. The house is not in the HOA. There are seven of the nine houses on the street that decided to start a HOA about five years ago. Obviously, they dared not ask the previous owner, so he wasn't involved. There is another resident who refused to join. He is trying to con you into joining. Once you are in it's near impossible to get out. They have no jurisdiction over the street or you. You can safely ignore the rules, and if they dare try and take you to court, then my lawyer will make even more money."

"Do you know which other property refused?" I asked.

"Number five," he said.

"That's perfect, thanks," I said. "I might touch base with them too. Safety in numbers and all that."

"Good idea," he said. "It looks like they think that they can either intimidate or fool a young innocent into going along with their rules. Don't let them. I hate HOAs. Bunch of busybodies trying to tell everyone else how to live their lives. Give 'em hell, son."

"I will, thanks," I said. "Love to Cheryl and Ness. Love ya Pops." I hung up. It was only after that I realized what I had said. Jules was looking at me with a small smile on her face.

"What did you say to daddy?" asked Ness a minute later.

"Why?" I returned.

"He looks about ready to cry," sent Ness.

I sent her my memory of the end of the call.

"AWWWWW!" sent Ness. Feelings of amusement and love flowed through the connection.

I checked my watch. It was after nine. I looked across at the house next door; the curtains were open, so I decided it might be safe to call on them.

I knocked on the door. A lady who looked to be in her late thirties answered. She looked me up and down. "Yes?"

"Hi," I said. "I'm sorry to bother you so early on a Sunday. My name is Caleb. I am your new-ish neighbor. I'm really sorry not to have come by sooner to introduce myself. I wonder if you have a few minutes?"

She opened the door and stepped back. "Come on in."

I noted that she wore carpet slippers, and that the floor was fully carpeted. I stepped out of my shoes and left them on the porch.

The floorplan of her house was a mirror image of ours. She took me into the living room where a man was seated on a sofa, reading a newspaper. He looked up as we entered.

"Alan," she said. "We have company."

The man stood up and stepped toward me. He held out his hand.

"Hi," he said. "Alan Kelly. And this is my wife, Anne."

I shook his hand "Caleb Stott."

"You moved into the drug dealer's house," he said.

"We did."

"So, to what do we owe the honor?"

"I wanted to ask you about the HOA," I said. "I understand that you and I are the only two on the road that are not members."

He laughed. "It's taken him long enough," he said. "Normally he would have been at you in the first few days you were here. I guess the previous owner scared him a little. When we bought the houses here, ten years ago, there was no HOA. That is one of the primary reasons we moved here. We had a bad experience with the HOA at my parents' house. I couldn't take a shit without getting a HOA infraction notice. I wasn't going to pay a fortune for a house for someone else to tell me how long my grass should be, or what color I could paint my front door. When we moved here, I made sure that there wasn't one.

"About five years ago, Tom Pritchard, from across the street, came around with the great idea of starting one. He had been chairman of the HOA in his previous community, and he managed to convince everyone to sign up. Once a HOA is up and running, it is almost impossible to get out of it. I refused, as did the previous owner of your place.

"Tom still comes and bugs me about stuff, like when I put my trash cans out, or if I miss cutting my lawn for a while, but I can tell him to go away. He even tried giving me an infraction notice once or twice, and then took me to court when I wouldn't pay. He tried to convince the judge that since the majority of the residents had signed up, everyone in the street should be bound by the rules. The judge threw the case out and told him that if he continued to harass me, I would be within my rights to sue. He's largely left me alone since then.

"I'll bet he thinks that he can con you into signing up since you are young and naive. Like I said, once your property is signed up, it's almost impossible to get out. My advice is don't sign anything he gives you. Just either give it straight back or shred it and throw it in the trash."

"I will," I said. "Listen, I know we have been around for a while and we haven't really been introduced, but can I invite you guys over for lunch? You can meet the rest of our household, and then we can see whether we are going to be the good friend type of neighbor or the sworn enemy type."

He laughed. "Sure," he said. "What time?"

"Is one too late?" I asked. "We have a thing at ten and won't be back until after twelve."

"One would be perfect."

"Any dietary needs I need to worry about?" I asked. "Allergies, veganism, that sort of thing?"

"Nope," he said. "I hate celery, but other than that, I'm pretty easy to please."

Anne snorted at that, and I looked at her, but saw she had the hint of a smile on her face.

"Any particular preferences?" I asked her, and she shook her head.

"We're plain folk," she said. "I normally do meat and veg on a Sunday lunch."

"Okay then," I said. "I look forward to seeing you at one."

Anne showed me out, and watched as I slipped my shoes on at the door.

When I got back to our house, I decided I needed to do some prep work for lunch. I went into the kitchen and took out the beef from the fridge. I left it on the side while I prepared vegetables. Half an hour later, the beef had warmed to room temperature. I seared it and then put it on to roast. It would be ready by the time we came back from the range and would just about have enough time to rest. I was going to surprise my neighbors with something I had tried and loved when I was a child. It wasn't a U.S. staple, but I knew how to make it.

I was almost finished with my prep when there was a knock on the door, and the little man was back, beaming, with a fistful of papers.

I opened the door, and he invited himself in.

"Here are all the papers," he said. "You just need to sign here and here, and then we need a check for your first month. I'll waive the fees to date, since you didn't know. Here is a copy of the charter, and a copy of the rules." He proffered a pen.

"No thank you," I said. "I've been in touch with my lawyer, and he has told me that the house is not part of your HOA, and that, unless I want to join - which I most certainly do not - there is no requirement for me to do so. He told me to tell you that since we are not part of your HOA, we are not subject to your rules and regulations, and should there be any harassment from you or any member of the HOA about us breaching those rules, we will be taking legal action. Otherwise, we ask that you leave us in peace to enjoy our home. Now if you would excuse me, I still have prep to finish for lunch."

"But..." he said as I ushered him out of the door.

"Oh," I said, "and you should know that we know exactly what judge to get in front of if, tragically, this situation escalates. I can't imagine they'll be happy that you were up to your old tricks again after having already been warned."

He turned on his heel and stomped off my porch, and then across the street to his own home. I heard the door slam. I looked up at the security cameras on my porch. Our friendly neighborhood drug dealer had had a full CCTV system installed. The FBI confiscated the server, but the cameras were all still in place.

"Jules," I said, walking back into the house, "what do you think it would take to get the cameras around the house operational again?"

"I'd have to look at them," she said. "If they are all okay, then we would need a server. I suspect the cabling all comes out in the attic space. We could take a look this afternoon. Are we having guests for lunch?

"I invited the neighbors from number five," I said. "They are going to be our allies in the war against the HOA which I am certain is about to begin."

She laughed. "We need to get to the range, or we'll be late."

When we got to the gun range, there was another woman - probably in her mid-thirties - taking the course with us. We spent an hour going through all the rules and the safety measures in place on the range, and we got another printed copy of the range rules.

Then we were each allowed one box of ammunition to discharge. We were split into two groups, with the woman, Mary and Amanda in one, and Jules and me in the other. We took up two lanes.

They had a smaller weapon for the twins and their partner. Jules and I had the Glock again.

We shot through our ammunition in about fifteen minutes. Since it was a different weapon than yesterday, my first two were high and right, but my correction was much better. All the rest of my shots were on target.

Jules, who had seen my first two, had corrected even before she shot, so all her shots were on target.

We left the range, leaving the girls to finish up, and waited in the front with Hoss. I saw a notice board, on which were pinned several cards advertising local businesses.

"Is there a charge for putting your business card up here?" I asked.

Hoss shook his head. "It's a freebie for members," he said. "I thought you were students?"

"We are, but I am also a licensed hypnotherapist," I said. "It helps me pay my range fees."

I smirked. He laughed. "Sure, go ahead," he said.

I pinned up one of my business cards.

"Throw me one of those too," he said. I handed him one and he examined it. "So, what kinds of things do you deal with?"

"So far it's been mostly folks who want to stop smoking or lose weight," I said. "But I'll speak to anyone, and if I think I can help, I will."

He pulled out his wallet and slipped my card into it before pocketing it again.

Mary and Amanda emerged from the range. All of us were certified, so we'd be able to book a lane and a weapon at any time.

We returned home and I started lunch. At exactly one o'clock there was a knock on the door. Mary answered it and led our neighbors into the living room.

"Hi," I said when they entered. "Let me do the introductions. These are Mary, Amanda and Jules. Girls, this is Alan and Anne, our next-door neighbors."

They each shook hands. I noticed Anne noticing the girls' rings.

"Can I offer you guys a drink?" I asked. "We only have beer, I'm afraid, or soda or coffee."

"I'll take a beer," said Alan. Anne opted for a soda.

By the time I had gotten everyone's drinks, lunch was ready, so I invited them all to move to the kitchen and sit.

I'd made roast beef, with roasted and mashed potatoes, plus roasted parsnips, carrots, and peas. I had also made something called Yorkshire pudding which was a British dish I had had once and liked. They were crisp, muffin-sized savory puddings that were great for soaking up gravy.

"You made this?" asked Anne, looking at the food on the table.

"Caleb does all the cooking," said Mary. "He is by far the best chef of us all."

I passed the pre-carved beef to Anne, and she took some before handing it off to Alan. The other dishes made the rounds too.

"What are these?" asked Anne when I handed her the Yorkshire puddings.

"They are a British delicacy," I said, grinning at her. "Try one. Fill the dip with gravy and see what you think."

They each took one apiece. When the gravy did the rounds, they filled the dimple with gravy.

"So how long have you guys been together?" asked Anne. Her gaze was a little challenging. I smiled at her, but Amanda answered.

"Just under a year," she said. "Mary and I got together with Caleb just after his birthday. Jules joined us about a week after. We have been engaged maybe three months now."

"Wow," said Alan. "Good for you. I hope you are all very happy together." Then he looked at me. "I'm not sure I envy you. One nagging wife is enough for me, let alone three."

He grinned at Anne as he said it. It seemed like it was a running joke between them.

"Four, actually," I said. "My other fiancée is just finishing up school. She will be joining us in the summer."

"Now I understand why you are in your yard at four every morning," he said with a bigger grin.

"I'm sorry," I said. "Do I disturb you?"

"Not at all. I'm a bit of a night owl. Sometimes I'm just going to bed then. I've seen you out there, is all."

"I'm hoping to join law enforcement when I graduate," I said. "I'm learning a martial art. Let me know if I'm disturbing you. I'll stop."

"Nah," he said. "Besides, Anne likes to watch."

Anne, who had a mouth full of food, spluttered and blushed. Alan grinned. He had definitely scored a point there.

"How long have you guys been together?" I asked, trying to change the subject. I caught the thought as it flashed across his mind, and it explained why they had been so cool with our relationship. They were actually brother and sister.

"A while," he said evasively. Anne looked at him. I knew she longed, just once, to be open about their relationship. She was so tired of hiding. Alan, however, was terrified of people finding out. He was convinced that they'd be forced to move - at best. He loved the house, and loved the area. Apart from the HOA idiot across the street - his thoughts and mine - he was settled, and didn't want to leave.

I chose not to comment, but then saw Mary's small smile. I don't know if she figured it out herself or just heard my surprise through the connection. I felt her power steal across the table: relaxation, comfort, acceptance.

"Would you like another?" She offered Anne the puddings.

Anne accepted. "These are really nice," she said, reaching for more gravy. "You have to give me the recipe."

"You'll be surprised how simple it is," I said.

After we finished lunch, I cleared the table and loaded the dishwasher while the girls took our neighbors into the living room. Alan accepted another beer, and Anne asked for coffee.

We sat and chatted for a while. They told us about how it had been having a drug dealer for a neighbor. Apparently, he hadn't been much of a bother. He wasn't cooking or selling in the house, just living. There were a moderate number of comings and goings at odd hours, but he mostly kept it quiet.

"How did you catch them all?" asked Anne. "I saw all the cars, and them being led off in cuffs."

"We surprised them," I said. "By the time they knew we were there, the FBI had them in custody."

I saw Anne bracing herself to ask a question. I could see Alan looking at her, knowing what she was going to ask and not wanting her to. She couldn't resist.

"What happened the other night?" she asked. "I saw you drive off in a police car."

Alan winced.

I wondered what tale I should spin, but Mary beat me to it.

"Caleb consults with the FBI," she said. "They needed his help in a hurry, so they sent a cruiser to get him."

Alan and Anne both looked at me. I could see that neither believed the story, and there was a sense of disappointment in them both that we had lied.

I fished out my ID and showed them. "It's true," I said. "They sent a cruiser to pick me up."

"But I thought you were at PSU?" asked Alan.

"I am," I said, "but I'm also a licensed hypnotherapist and they sometimes use me to help victims remember things, or sometimes to forget them."

"Oh," said Anne. There was an uncomfortable silence for a few moments.

Alan decided to break it by changing the subject entirely. "You don't happen to know anything about cable, do you? Ours keeps crapping out and the company says there's nothing wrong. They won't even come out."

"I don't," I said.

"Jules, is that something you could help with?" I asked her, not wanting to commit her to something without her permission.

"Sure," she sent.

"But my beautiful fiancée there is an electronics major," I said, indicating Jules. "She might be able to help."

"We would be very grateful," said Anne. "It's so frustrating. It works for a while and then switches itself off."

"Sounds like it's overheating," she said. "I would need to get it into my workshop. Do you want me to come and get it, or will you bring it over?"

"I'll drop it by," Alan said. "I know how to disconnect it and all that." After a few more minutes, Alan stood. "Thank you so much for lunch; it was delicious. Those yorky things were really nice. We'll get out of your hair. I'm sure you have better things to do with your Sunday afternoon than hang with a couple of old fogeys."

I stood too. "It was a pleasure, and you are welcome," I said.

Anne and the girls stood, and our neighbors made their way to the door.

"I'll drop the box over when I've managed to untangle all the cables," he said to Jules, and she smiled at him.