Caleb 56 - Melanie

She had spent some time talking with the Abuela Gonzales discussing the methods that they used to make Powered children safe, and she was happy that she knew the process. Over the next few months they would be removing all the amulets from the children concerned, as well as starting an education program for them to learn about their powers.

When it came to Melanie, she said that it would be up to me to determine when it was safe to remove her amulet. As a Healer, as soon as I thought her body could handle the strain, they would remove it.

It was a bit unfair, I thought, of Maggie to tell me that in front of Melanie, because now I was the block to her getting her powers, and not them. I could see by the glint in her eye when she told me, and I knew that Maggie had done it deliberately, perhaps to give me a taste of what it was like to have to make decisions that might be unpopular.

Melanie, however, was not so gullible. After Maggie left she sat next to me on the sofa.

"She's a manipulative woman your grandmother," she said.

"That is something you don't need to tell me," I responded.

"Caleb," she said, "I want you to know that I trust you completely. I'm happy to wait as long as you think necessary to remove the amulet. I know that you have no reason, other than my wellbeing, to deny me access to my power or powers. If it's a week, a month, even longer, I'll wait."

Friday was our final healing session with Vince. We'd extracted all of the metalwork from his leg over the course of the week, and practically rebuilt his femur from scratch. It still had a lot of 'growing in' to do, and would not be up to full strength for probably two to three weeks. We'd also resolved the uneven wear issues on both his hips and knees and his ankle on his injured side. The muscles of his leg had been realigned.

His body still had some work to do, which would take a little time, and I would look in on him weekly just to make sure things were progressing as per the plan. In the meantime, he was able to get about, although he still used his stick more for comfort than support. By the time everything was done, it would be as if he'd never been injured.

The three of us sat in his home, contemplating the mass of metalwork currently sitting on the coffee table that we'd extracted over the week's sessions.

Vince looked at me.

"I don't know what to say," he said. "You have, both of you, given me my life back. I owe you..."

"You owe me nothing," said Jeevan. "This should have been done so much sooner. The fact that you suffered all these years, and lost your military career, is a stain on my, and our, honor. I allowed myself to be swayed by the emotional arguments of others. If anything, I am, still, in your debt."

"May I give you a memory?" Jeevan asked Vince.

Vince nodded and they exchanged memories. I had no idea what it was about, but this was between them, so I stayed quiet...until Vince turned to me.

"Thank you," he said. "Jeevan showed me what you said to him about our secret."

I looked at him puzzled. "What secret?" he smiled.

"May I pull you into an illusion?" he asked.

We were so far past trust issues between the three of us that I had no qualms dropping my shield.

The door opened and a little girl entered wearing an elaborate nightgown.

She giggled. "They got you again, Papa."

All of a sudden everything made sense. The niggling suspicion that I was keeping a secret that even I didn't know about. The dissonance when I thought of the Tatarabuela Gonzales in my mind, and wondered why it felt like there was something else I should be remembering.

"Jeevan showed me your conversation," he said, "where he said he could remove the memory block preventing you from remembering the tell. He also shared your response. But he tells me that that memory block is causing you some issues. Not huge ones, but they are there. If you will allow, I'll remove that block. It is obvious to me that I can trust you to maintain our secret."

I thought about that for a moment. I had other secrets to maintain, and also wasn't sure how the Tatarabuela would react to his entering my mind. I figured that since I was allowing him in, she wouldn't see it as an attack and, hopefully, wouldn't respond.

"I am content as things stand," I said. "The dissonance is not great, and if it helps to protect your secret..."

"That's just it," he said. "It doesn't really. It only keeps you from telling people, not from people reading your mind seeing it. Jeevan saw it immediately. In fact, the block itself stands out, so that people will be drawn to look, whereas they could easily miss the tell itself if they aren't looking for it."

"Then I will be guided by you," I said. "If you think It's best, then please remove the block."

I felt a tingle in my mind, the Tatarabuela didn't stir.

We dropped out of the illusion.

"Thank you," I said, "for your trust."

"It is more than earned," he said. "And don't think that I think that this makes us even. I owe you, almost as much as I owe Dean. It was he who carried me out of the desert while wounded himself and under fire. Had it not been for him, I would not have made it back.

"Now you have both repaired the damage done at the time and hopefully, and possibly more importantly, helped begin a different type of healing. That being the relationship between myself and the Healer network. I am hoping that Jeevan and I can maintain and improve that relationship, and maybe I can start to reconnect with friends I thought I'd lost.

We left Vince and I returned home to prepare for the evening. Jeevan and Meena were coming over for dinner.

They arrived just after six thirty, Meena immediately taking to Melanie and before long they were chatting away like long lost friends. Ness and I went into the kitchen to make dinner.

Conversation was lively over dinner and the topic, inevitably, turned to powers.

"So," said Meena. "Do you know what powers you possess?"

Melanie shook her head. "Caleb says it won't become apparent until the amulet is removed. He can see I have power, just not what it will be. It is likely to be Compulsion though. Caleb says that people with multiple powers are rare. I'm hoping to have similar powers to him, I'd love to be able to heal like he and Jeevan can."

Meena smiled. "You would make a great Healer," she said. "You have a beautiful temperament."

Melanie blushed a little at the compliment. "I would like to think so," she said, "but I've got so much catching up to do."

"You have plenty of time," said Meena. "The first, and most important, thing is to get yourself healthy. The rest will come. You are a Power user. You have several lifetimes ahead of you. As long as you are not stupid like my husband and refuse to share."

"I keep hearing about sharing," she said. "What is it? It just sounds like sex..."

"It didn't start that way," Jeevan said, "but that is what it has become."

I looked at him interested. "How did it start?" I asked.

"What you have to remember," began Jeevan, "is that the powers we have today are an evolutionary step that has taken many thousands of years to develop. Indeed, different powers evolved in different parts of the world to deal with the very different needs of the peoples living there. It is believed that Empathy originated among the nomadic tribes of the desert.

"These people roamed the desert in small bands. I have no idea what particular need Empathy met for them, but it seems that they would meet up with other tribes, on a fairly regular basis, spend some days or weeks in one place or other with them, and then move on.

"In the time they had together they would connect with the people of the other tribe. I don't mean have sex, although some undoubtedly did, but rather they would just socially interact and create a relationship, a bond. Then they moved on and met up with another tribe and did it again.

"Their lives were always on the move. They will have met up with the same tribes over and over, but enough time had passed between each meeting that they forged a new relationship when they met up again. This satisfied the power's need, which was to establish new connections.

"We could, even today, manage to 'share' without having sex. Believe it or not I was actually almost managing my own sharing that way. However, the pace of life, and the way we live, makes it incredibly difficult. Those who travel sufficiently to meet new people often enough to satisfy the need seldom stay in those places long enough to make a connection strong enough for it to be beneficial.

"Having sex with someone creates a much more 'instant' connection with that person. We can meet, have sex, and be on our way almost literally in minutes, and create enough of a relationship, of a connection, to satisfy the needs to share. However, these connections must be new. Not every time. But after five or six times, the sharing becomes just sex. Also, we lose the benefit faster if we are also in another type of relationship with that person. Time apart can mean that the connection 'resets,' but it's difficult to quantify how much time would be necessary since that would depend on the strength and depth of the connection when you parted.

"The problem arises," concluded Jeevan, "when power users are not brought up with their powers, or choose a partner who hasn't been brought up around powers. Those that have, have a different attitude toward sex. They can easily separate it from love, relationships, and trust. It becomes no more significant to them than perhaps sharing a meal, often less so.

"Those that haven't still see sex as something that should be shared only with those that are close and cherished. They feel that that having sex with someone outside that loving relationship is a betrayal of that relationship. It hurts them, makes them feel that their partner no longer loves them, or that they are no longer enough for them, when in brutal reality - they never were enough in the first place. No one person ever could be to an Empath with a need to share.

"I struggled with this because my beautiful wife is a norm. Her upbringing told her that sex is something that happens only within a loving relationship. That was her expectation, her experience. I know my uncle told her the harsh truth of the matter, but one conversation cannot overcome a lifetime of upbringing and moral education. I thought that if I 'shared' Meena would feel hurt, betrayed, and that I no longer loved her. It took her, and Caleb, to show me that my not sharing hurt her just as much."

"The irony is that Caleb was brought up a Norm, and I know that he struggles with the same question. Only for him its far more complex. You see he has Empathy, so he must share. He has two fiancées who have Empathy who also must share. But then he has two fiancées who are not power users, so they have no imperative to share. However, he, being Caleb, feels that since HE has to share, that it would be wrong for him to object to Jules and Ness being able to take lovers also. The problem is that he still cannot separate sex and love. Logically he understands. But the thought of someone else making love to the women that he loves creates a visceral reaction in him, a pain that logic cannot overcome."

"I had sex," said Melanie, "with lots of men. I didn't know them, didn't love them, didn't like them most times. Sometimes they hurt me, but it meant that I could eat, or maybe even get a bed for the night. It was a way to survive. I guess in some ways 'sharing' is the same. Not so extreme, but if you suffer harm for not doing it, it's a way to survive.

"I guess I can understand Caleb's feelings. If that is the way he was raised, to believe that love and sex are so tightly linked that they cannot be separated, but I know that's not the case. I've had sex so many times, sometimes it was even pleasant with some of the older guys, especially when I was 'fresher,' would take their time, and make sure it was good for me. None of them loved me, nor I them. I can't wait to find out what sex feels like when there is love."

She looked at me when she said that.

"We were brought up as Norms too," said Jules. "and were also taught that sex and love were inseparable. I think in part it was a way to stop us being promiscuous when we were young, although my own sexuality pretty much took care of that for me. I wonder how much damage parents are doing to their children drilling this into them? How many relationships are shattered that could have been perfectly fine, if the couple could have been secure enough in each other's love that 'playing' occasionally was not an issue? What should be taught is not that sex and love are intertwined, but that love is inextricably entwined with something else...trust.

"If you trust your love, that they will return to you, will place you first and foremost in their lives no matter who else they may sleep with, will never disrespect you to, or with another, and no matter what will always love you, over and above anyone they choose to bed, then perhaps it's possible, in time, to overcome the lifetime of conditioning that we norms get growing up.

"I trust Caleb. I trust his love and his respect. I know that he'll always come back to me. That is why him 'sharing' doesn't hurt me. Even if it weren't an imperative, he sleeps with three other girls in our relationship, and I know that he, and they, love me."

"There is," said Jeevan, "of course, the biological imperative for a male not to allow another male to impregnate his mate. That is hard coded in our DNA. But we are not animals, and we can overcome our instincts with time, patience, and love.

"The irony of the situation is," he said to the twins, "that, although I refused your kind offer to share, in effect we did anyway. Just as I have shared with Jules, and Ness, and Caleb, and Caleb has with Meena, and Yasmine, and Callum, and me. We shared the old-fashioned way. We spent time together, built a relationship, and made a connection. If we were to actually have sex now, it would have no 'sharing' benefit simply because the connection is already made."

He looked at Melanie and smiled. "Does that answer your question?"

She looked at him, having been watching me. "Yes," she said. "Thank you."

I was deep in thought considering what he'd said. The imperative to make new connections, to a nomadic tribal culture, made sense. How it got distilled down to just having sex also made sense. But I realised that it wasn't the twins that were my problem. I'd known from the start that they would have to share. Yes it took some time for me to come to terms with it, but the reality of the situation with the boys at the alley hadn't really caused me a problem.

But what had really resonated with me, had struck a chord, was what Jules had said. It wasn't about love, it was about trust. My feelings about her, or Ness, sleeping with other people were completely based in my own insecurity. I paid lip service to them being able to 'play', as I called it, with anyone they wanted to, but my reaction to it, uncontrolled and uncontrollable as I thought it was, had the same effect as my telling them I'd been angry at them letting Dylan stay with us.

It was definitely a lightbulb moment.

Then there was Melanie. I'd already developed strong feelings for her, but was that just a filial love or was there something more. She had already hinted a number of times that she wanted to explore more, and her being my half-sister didn't seem to faze her in that regard. Did it faze me? I actually didn't think so. When I'd gazed down at her thin but beautiful face, felt her body pressed up against me in bed, my body had responded.

My body was a great judge. It didn't respond to Jules in her 'off' state. It hadn't responded to Ness when she'd shared our bed before she was eighteen. But it had no qualms about responding to Melanie.

"Caleb?" Mary was talking to me.

"Sorry," I said. "I was miles away."

"We noticed," said Ness. "Was the weather good there?"

I laughed. "What was the question?"

"Plans for the weekend?" said Mary.

"Ah, yes," I said. "I thought that you guys might like to have a girl's day. Shopping, spa, that kind of thing? You said you'd take Mel shopping."

Melanie wrinkled her nose. "Melanie," she said.

"Sorry," I said, inclining my head to her. "You said you'd take Melanie shopping."

"And what will you be doing while we're doing that?" asked Amanda.

"Usual Saturday stuff," I said. "Shopping, maybe some schoolwork. I've a bit of catching up to do."

"We also need to get Melanie a bank account," said Mary. "And apply for a learner's permit for her."

"You really want to spend your morning at the DMV?" I asked.

"I could do that myself," said Melanie, "while you guys are at school."

"Perfect," I said.

"So," Amanda bubbled. "Whose coming on the girly day out?"

They all put their hands up, Meena looked on a little jealously.

"Do you know which spa you'll be going to?" asked Dana, her hand the only one not raised.

Amanda told her.

Dana smiled. "Then count me in. I've been there before, and they are cool with me as long as I don't want an intimate waxing.

I crossed my legs.

"Sounds painful," I said.

Jeevan and Meena stayed for another couple of hours, and we spent a pleasant evening in conversation. As they left Meena came over to me.

"Melanie is a wonderful person," she said. "I sense that you are conflicted about her."

"Are you sure you have no powers?" I asked. She smiled at me.

"Go with your heart," she said. "It has led you true so far. Look at her, at what you feel for her. You will know what the right thing to do is." She leaned in and kissed my cheek, and then turned to follow Jeevan to his car.

I stood leaning on the door frame, watching them drive away. I was still stood there long after they'd turned the corner at the bottom of the road and gone out of sight.

Am arm slid around my waist.

I looked down to see Mary smiling up at me.

"Penny for them?" she said.

"They're not worth it," I replied.

"You've been very thoughtful tonight," she said. "Introspective."

"There's been a lot to think about,"

"Caleb," she said. "You know we..." she stopped for a second. "You know I love you, right?"

I looked down at her. "What's brought this on?" I asked.

"It's just that ever since Max and David," she said, "there seems to have been a distance between us. I wish that when we'd come to tell you they'd invited us to go with them, you'd said no."

"You know I would never do that,"

"But you should," she insisted. "If you don't want us to go. Perhaps if you did, or had, you'd see that we wouldn't have gone. Not only wouldn't we have gone, but it would also have been perfectly okay for us. Imagine me coming to you and saying 'do you want to watch TV?' You'd have no problem saying no, if you didn't want to, and I wouldn't be upset if you did. It would be the same. Sex in that context for us is so completely unimportant. We know we need to share, but, and at the risk of sounding conceited, we will have plenty of opportunities. If you're not okay with it, then please say so. Don't 'tough it out.'"

"It's strange," I said. "Something Jules said tonight, and Melanie too, really resonated with me. For Melanie, up until now, sex was a chore, a means to an end, a way to keep eating, or get a bed for the night. There was never anything more than that. And Jules said it's not sex and love that should be connected, its love and trust. And in answer to your question, yes, I know that you, Mary, love me. I feel it from you every day. It's not about the sex and it never was. It's the way you look at me when you think I'm not looking at you. It's the way you make me feel. It's the feelings I get from you when you're NOT using your power. It's pure and it's amazing.