All Comments on 'Call Me Chris'

Nice story, but you need to work on writing dialogue. Never have two different speakers in one paragraph.

"Between the should blades, but I hurt everywhere between my pelvis and my skull"

Would that be shouldER blades?

Proof Read before Posting!!

Hey anonymous, I wrote this in Microsoft Office and spell and grammar checked it repeatedly. It missed that word, so did I, so did the editors when they published it. If a typo ruins a story for you, you do you, but I'm not worrying about it. I'm not a professional writer and have no ambitions to be one. I am a stroke survivor, typing one-handed with Micrsoft's On Screen Keyboard--I make mistakes, and never catch every single one.

Harddaysnight, I agree I need work on dialogue, but in any case, the style guides are guides, not commandments. I'm not particularly trying to be a great writer, I'm 66 and in poor health. There are other things I want to do with my remaining time, loving my wife chief among them.

Enjoyable story!

5

Very good Thank you

Enjoyable read, and I take your point about other priorities! You’re right about style guides too, but only up to a certain point. Most of them are to make reading flow and enhance understanding, and not having two speakers in the same paragraph is one of those.

GO SUN DEVILS.

The story line was great. I too fell in love with my Chiropractor but from afar. But she is in Scottsdale and she kicked out a cheating husband too. I wrote a story of my fantasy love with my Chiropractor.

You need to use an editor you called her Chis a few times. there were a few times the need for an editor was apparent.

ACME Widget Company? Just a little too comical. I was waiting for the roadrunner to show up. I know it is hard to come up with names I have found combining real company names helps.

I lived in Arizona for 45 years. I have a couple of years on you. and I run into the same problems that is why I use a volunteer editor