All Comments on 'Call Me Daddy'

Totally without credibility, style or anything else which could have helped it along.

Kind of felt rushed.

Switching POV is a terrible practice in writing. It immediately breaks any immersion the reader might have had.

You never introduced the third person, by name.

Using pronouns in your writing confuses the reader who you are talking about.

Pronouns should only be used rarely, if ever, It makes your writing look like that of an amateur.

I read about a third of your story and was totally confused about who was who so I quit!

A rewrite would be good. You have the beginning of a story that might be ok. Make sure you have at least two proofreaders review it..

I noticed that this was a little rushed and try next time to add a little more back story but overall good job.

I love it add more detail next time !

I don’t care what the other comments say. This was perfect all around. The POV change was just what I wanted at the right time, was rushed but it was timed perfectly with my orgasms. I’m so wet reading

Not enough for me to cum