by glimmertwin
...a "grown adult":
a) censoring a porn story and
b) having that many grammatical mistakes?
turn off.
1. you censor ASS and COCK but not TITS
2. you don't know the different between your and you're
If you can't write the word "ass" without euphemistic dollar signs, you are writing for the wrong website. At first I thought that you were trying for some kind of comic effect, but after awhile it was clear that you were simply to embarrassed to write the actual words.
hot story, just leave out the a$$ and d*ck and spell the word because self censoring takes away from the story. also make the sex scene longer and add more, but it was pretty good
Don't let the cruel comments of these folks keep you from writing. It's a good story, and the conversation is realistic. Most stories on this site always make the guy into a superstud, but this guy was dumped by his girlfriend and didn't make Gena cum the first time around, yet he still wins.
Next time you'll know not to use the $ and *. But don't stop writing, even if it is non-erotic. You're a good story teller.
I imagine everyone is giving you 2s and 3s for this - I know I gave you a 2. Without the stupid self-censoring, you'd probably be getting 4s and 5s. Dumb.
Definitely a hot story but there were too many fetishes. I didn't like the panty part and having the other girl watch was too over the top. I also thought adding $ to words was a little annoying.
Ma$$ive do$e$ of dollar $ign $don't cut it. Can you $pell Mi$$i$$ippi?
Too many spelling and other grammer errors to really enjoy the story. It did have some promise. Perhaps your next chapter will be better.
By about the second time I got to the lame "a$$" or "Co*k" self censoring, I had to quit. Once or twice, I could chalk up to an editing error or some sort of spell check malfunction, but when it's there every time, it's obvious that it's deliberate. It gives the feel that I'm being told this story by a 14 year old who still considers it taboo to say "bad" words.